In an interview on TV Patrol, Jinkee, wife of eight-time world boxing champion Manny Pacquiao talked about the trials of having to deal with her husband’s “women.” Jinkee candidly relates that Pac-Man’s female fans swarm around him to the point that she’s starting to find it insulting. “Minsan harap-harapan, walang pakialam kahit andiyan ako,” she tells Korina Sanchez. “Walang respeto.”

She admits that the problem has sometimes escalated to the point where she considered pulling out other women’s hair. “Dati may napuntahan akong bahay, parang naging NBI ako, yung ganon,” she adds.

But, more than the women, what really gets to Jinkee is how she seems to be dealing with the problem alone. “Parang ako lang nahihirapan eh, parang naaawa ako sa sarili ko na parang hindi dapat ganun,” she says. “Dapat si Manny yung magkunsume para sakin. Dapat siya yung mamroblema sa’kin minsan.”

Like Jinkee, many wives find themselves dealing with other women in their husbands' lives--or women who would like to be in their husbands' lives. In cases of cheating, you may have found yourself blaming these women and labeling them “mang-aagaw,” the goal being to get your husband back and establish he’s yours. It’s good to remember that, more than being a “me vs. other woman” scenario, situations like these revolve around you and your husband trying to make your marriage work.

Before he even considers cheating, it’s important to lay some ground rules in your relationship. Let your man know that he has responsibilities and make sure he understands them. That way, when boundaries are crossed, you’ll know it means he doesn’t care enough to adhere to them. Female Network lists down five laws you should lay down on your partner when it comes to his behavior around other women. Remember that this applies to you too! Marriages are partnerships for a reason.


1.    LET THEM DOWN BEFORE THEY CAN GET THEIR HOPES UP

When your man says, “I didn’t come to her. She came to me,” tell him that’s not an excuse. In fact, he may get approached by women all the time because he doesn’t discourage them. Make sure he knows it’s his responsibility to let them know he’s taken, and happily so. If he makes this clear from the get-go, there’s no reason for them to keep sticking around longer than they have to.


2.    LOOK BUT DON’T TOUCH (OR CALL OR TEXT)

There’s nothing wrong with appreciating another woman’s gorgeous long legs (especially if you agree with your hubby’s opinion) but that doesn’t give him permission to go ahead and make a move. Being approached by another woman is one thing; going out with her is something else. This rule goes for you too. You can look at that hunky piece of man all you want—and even tell your partner about it—but it ends there.


3.    ADHERE BY THE “STAND BY ME” POLICY

A marriage--or any romantic relationship, really--is a partnership and when the two of you are together, you’re a team. That means he’s not allowed to abandon you at social gatherings. If you come to a Christmas party together, you leave together. Note that this doesn’t mean you have to cling to each other all evening. Mingling and hanging out with friends is fine, just make sure he doesn’t forget that he came here with you.


4.    IDENTIFY THE TYPES OF WOMEN AND BEHAVIORS THAT MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE

Find out what kind of behaviors in other women make you ill at ease and let him know about them. If he respects you, he’ll cool it down with the women he hangs around with because he understands that what he's doing is hurtful to you. If there are particular women whose presence in your husband's life make you feel uncomfortable, make this clear to him as well.  

5. RESPECT EACH OTHER

All the other rules come to naught if the foundation of your relationship is weak.  If he doesn’t care enough to police himself around other women, then he clearly doesn’t respect you or the relationship you share. When this happens, reflect on the misgivings of your relationship and start weighing what’s important to you--not to mention how much you value the relationship you're in. Basically, you've laid down the laws, and there should be serious repercussions to breaking them. If you keep letting him get away with putting you down in this manner, you need to think long and hard about whether or not it's healthy for you to remain in this kind of relationship.


(Photo courtesy of PEP.ph)