Actress Cristine Reyes opened up about her relationship with actor Rayver Cruz at the solo press conference for her upcoming horror movie, Tumbok. According to PEP.ph, she considers their relationship “steady lang,” and she attributes its success to their trust in each other. “Pareho kaming nagkakaintindihan. Pareho kaming open. Pareho kaming hindi namin sinasakal ang isa't isa. Parang ang laki ng tiwala namin sa isa't isa (We understand each other. We’re both open people. We don’t suffocate each other. There's a lot of trust in this relationship),” she is quoted as saying. As for the benefits of having their relationship open to the public, Cristine declares that it’s doing them good. “Kung may magtanong, wala kang ide-deny. So, mas maganda. (If someone asks, we don’t deny anything, so it works out well.)”
For now, Cristine is content with the way things are going and considers Rayver a great boyfriend. “Basta lahat ng positive nasa kanya na (Let’s just put it this way: he has all the positive traits I want in a boyfriend),” she says, laughing.
Do you want your relationship with your man to blossom just like Cristine and Rayver’s has? Trust is one of the building blocks of a good relationship, so it’s important that you learn to rely on and have faith in each other. If you’re having trouble getting started, check out these tips.
1. TELL HIM WHAT TO EXPECT FROM YOU.
Share the things about you he needs to know from the get-go. If you’re the kind of person who has a short fuse but is not inclined to hold grudges, tell him that, and tell him the best way to deal with you when you're in your various moods. Try to get him to give you the same information about himself. You need to get to know each other well enough to anticipate how the other person is going to react—and know the best way to deal with it if and when something happens. For example, there are times when you’ll need to vent—he should know not to take it personally and to just let you run out of steam before jumping in to argue with you or offer advice before you’re ready to hear it.
2. SET GROUND RULES.
This way there are less gray areas, and you know exactly what your non-negotiables are. This is especially important in the first stages of a relationship. Don’t just assume you’re exclusive—say it! Work on your rules together so you can compromise before things blow up in your face. For example, if he’s jealous about your girls’ night out, tell him that whenever you go on one you’ll be sure to let him know where you’re going, what time you expect to be home, if you’ll be a little later than expected, etc. But it’s not acceptable for him to keep checking up on you. And then make sure to keep your word—and stick to the rules.
3. COMMUNICATE YOUR NEEDS, AND LET HIM DO THE SAME.
Don’t expect your partner to inherently know what will make you happy, and don't assume you know what makes him happy, either—he’s not a mind reader, and neither are you. Be vocal about what you need from him and encourage him to do the same, even if opening up might make you feel uncomfortable at first. This lessens the chances of miscommunication and shows him that you trust him to be honest with you.
For example, if he says something you found particularly off-putting, don’t expect him to just understand that you need him to apologize, especially if he’s unaware of his mistake. A common mistake is to stew about it and assume that if you sulk long enough, he'll eventually figure out what he did wrong. Tell him how you feel, ask him why he would say or do such a thing, try to understand where he's coming from, and share how you would like the problem solved. Mind you, just because you've said it doesn't mean it's going to happen, but this provides you with the opportunity to dialogue on how to resolve disagreements and helps you understand each other a bit more.
4. AVOID BEING TOO CONTROLLING.
While your individual decisions start affecting each other when you’re in a partnership, this doesn’t mean that you no longer have the right to have personal space. To the contrary, it makes personal space all the more important. You are still your own person, and so is he. Your personal history, your likes and dislikes, and your other commitments still exist, and while you have each other to consider now, this doesn’t mean you have to consult each other on every single thing. Instead, stick to discussing major decisions that will affect you both. For example, a change of jobs that will take him to another city is something that will have effects on your relationship, so this is definitely a decision the two of you have to make together.
5. BE RELIABLE.
If you want your partner to trust you, you have to be reliable. Before you promise your man something, make sure that you can follow through. This way, you’re letting him know that you’re someone he can depend on. If something happens that will cause you to break your promise or postpone your delivery on it, inform your partner as soon as possible. For example, if you said you’d drop by the grocery, but you suddenly had to do overtime at work, let him know immediately through a call or text.
Also be consistent when it comes to your behavior. If you start acting differently, this might make him suspicious, so make sure to explain your situation to your partner. For example, if you’re usually talkative and you suddenly clam up for three days, he might think you’re keeping something from him, even if in reality, your bad mood has nothing to do with him. Set the record straight, and don't let any bad feelings fester because of one incident. You can take the time to say, "I'm kind of working out a bad situation at home or at work right now, and I'll apologize in advance if I can sometimes get snappish when we're together even though it has nothing to do with you." This will put him in a more understanding frame of mind, and he may even try to help you work the problem out by offering suggestions or just being a sounding board. The more straightforward you are, the better it will be for the growth of your relationship.
(Photo courtesy of PEP.ph)
Want to read more articles about building a strong relationship? Check these out on FN:
- Dingdong Dantes on relationship with Marian Rivera: “Wala namang perfect” + Elements of a Lasting Relationship
- Korina Sanchez Reveals That She's a Submissive Wife + 5 Tips on Equalizing Your Relationship
- Dingdong Dantes Talks about Marian Rivera's "Jealous Streak" + How Not to be Possessive of Your Man
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