A wedding vow is a sacred promise--made in front of God and the community--between the bride and the groom. As it is sacred, it means that the vow is unbreakable, expressing the entrance into a covenant relationship. It must consist of the following: eternal love, honor and respect, and loyalty and faithfulness.

Because vows encapsulate your relationship as a married couple, you should give your vows much thought and preparation--especially if you plan to customize them. Such vows are deemed to be more personal and meaningful. Below are just some tips that might help you prepare your pledge to your future spouse.

Consult with your officiating priest

Before preparing your own pledges, ask your officiant first if he's comfortable with personalized vows, as some traditional priests disapprove of it. Do not just drop the vows in the middle of the ceremony--this is not the time to surprise your officiating priest. For a list of other concerns you might want to discuss with your priest, click here.

Take time to reflect

Do remember that your vows are sacred and unbreakable. Ergo, do not promise something that you'll easily break. Rather, concentrate on the promises that you really can fulfill, but do remember that an extravagant promise is no wiser than just a simple promise of commitment to your marriage. A thorough reflection on what's really inside your heart is in order. Don't clamp up those unbridled thoughts, let your feelings flow and put it on paper. Some people write their wedding vows on the night before their big day, as this is the time for contemplation on the most important step they're going to take in their lives. Most, however, feel chaotic the night before, and if you're this type of person, set aside just a few hours of reflection weeks and months before your wedding. Your vows don't need to be written instantly. You can put bullets on your thoughts, draft it on paper and reorganize them once your wedding day nears. 

Let your vows speak of your relationship

Aside from your promises, you can personalize your vows more by including aspects of your life. A special event in your relationship, life lessons you've learned because of your partner, or a tradition you both started together are but just a few things that you can add to make your vows yours and yours alone. Tip: if you're a poet at heart, you can make a poem out of your whole vow. Remember to keep it simple though--rehashing your entire love story for all to hear (albeit interesting for you) defeats the purpose of your vow.

Another way of customizing your vows is to integrate lyrics of your favorite songs, a line or two from a poem, or a dialogue from the first movie you watched as a couple. Include whatever brings home the most poignant point in your promise, just be considerate on the length of borrowed words you'll put in your vows. Citing the whole scene from a movie or delivering the entire 300-word sonnet not only chops a chunk of your vow, but also veers away from the most important aspect of your pledge: your unbreakable promises.

Consider your tone of delivery

Would you like the tone of your vow to be mushy, witty or serious? Ordinarily, your vows would be reflective of who you are as a person, but you may also choose to go the opposite route and do something you wouldn't normally do. A comical person can choose a more serious tone to iterate how important the marriage is, or a budding poet can opt to deliver his pledge in a humorous tone to lighten up the mood of the ceremony. Go for whatever suits your fancy, just as long as you have the utmost sincerity for your fiancé and the promises that you'll give deliver.

Refine your draft

A few weeks or so before your wedding day, continually work on your vows until you've nailed down what you want to say. Remember to be patient--you might not finish writing your vows in one sitting so keep revisiting your draft. Continue editing until you finally feel comfortable with the content, length and flow of your vows. Read your vows to yourself and time it. Ideally, the length of the entire monologue shouldn't go over three minutes. Your vow is still a part of your wedding rite, which lasts for 45 minutes or an hour--you wouldn't want to cut your pictorials short because of the urge to wax poetic, right? 

Ask someone to check your vows

After pruning and finalizing your pledge, you may ask someone you trust--ideally a writer--to review it. S/he may point out grammatical errors that you might have overlooked when you wrote your piece. You may also practice reading aloud in front of him or her, as s/he may give advice or critique the delivery, intonation, mood and duration. Practicing will also allow you to put emphasis on your enunciation--you wouldn't want your vows to be muddled words of promises right? Rehearsing will provide you with immediate feedback on points you need to improve, plus it can also promote a certain conversational comfort and diminish hesitancy, thereby giving the entire vow a heartfelt impression.

Prepare cue cards

It's ideal to memorize your vows like the back of your hand--it will be more meaningful if you can look into the eyes of your spouse-to-be while reciting your vows. This way, you'll experience  the full emotional force of your words. If this can't be helped however, as nerves and emotions can make you go blank, print your final revision on a good quality paper that's small enough to tuck in your bridal bag. (Don't think it's pardonable to write your vows at the back of the receipt, your hotel's table napkin or a torn leaf from a notebook. It would show that you didn't give your vows much thought or preparation.) As you deliver your vows, you can glance at the cards every now and then to make sure you're on the right track.

Your goal is to prepare vows that are personalized, well thought-out, and delivered with perfect cadence. An appropriate vow can definitely elicit a swell of emotions. And as long as you write from the heart, you'll have the best vows for your fiancé.