Having a Single Child

[ayi0119]

Hello, I just want to hear some stories to those who have a single child only, whether by choice or by chance.

We have a daughter, still in toddler years. Sa totoo lang masaya na ako na sya lang, na 3 lang kami sa family. Pero undecided pa din ako kung susundan ba namin or hindi na. What are the pros and cons of having an only child? Hindi ba malungkot na iisa lang ang anak?

[IamMarieLove]

Hello sis, point of view lang from almost an only child because after 11 years nasundan na ako by chance.

When I was a kid, syempre na sa akin ang lahat. Only child eh, lahat ng gusto ko nasusunod, I get what I want, been to an expensive school. But since I was an only child all the attention of my parents was mine alone. Plus they were very very overprotective kasi only child lang nga to the point na naging sobrang introvert ko kasi bawal lumabas at mag socialize without my parents. At that time, my parents were very busy with work and our small business so sa bahay lang ako with the yaya. I really prayed for a baby sister kasi nakakasakal na yong pagiging overprotective nila sa akin. Imagine, high school na ako ng matutong tumawid ng daan kasi I was almost hit by a car when I was 3 years old kaya bawal ako sa malapit sa daan. And naiingit din ako sa classmates ko na merong playmates kahit na sa bahay lang.

So after 11 years, my prayers were answered only I had a brother and not a sister. Nonetheless, having my brother helped in my maturity. Nawala na rin yong pagiging brat ko kasi may kahati na ako and hindi na lahat nabibigay. Benefit siya sa akin kasi mas naging masipag and nag grow talaga ako.

Sayo sis, ewan ko ano point of view ng iba lalo na yong may babies. Ang masasabi ko lang sis, mas ok ang more than one child for as long as you can provide the basic needs and sure na hindi mapapabayaan yong future ng mga bata but if not then ok na din ang isa ang importante kasi ay masupportahan yong need ng kids. My opinion lang naman.

[stylus]

^agree sis. Only child ako and im already 30 yrs old.

True lahat. Nung bata pa masaya kasi sayo lahat. Wala kaagaw. Walang competition. Ikaw lagi ang bida. Kahit anong gusto ko, ibibigay sakin. Pero di ako spoiled ha. Naturuan naman ako magtrabaho sa bahay. Pero in terms of food, toys, clothes, complete ako dyan when growing up. Nauso family computer, meron ako. Wala pa ang brick game sa local market, meron nako. Playstation din! Masaya yung ganun kung forever kang bata.

Nung teenager nako, lahat ng utos sakin. Wala ako mapasahan kasi wala naman ibang mauutusan kung hindi ako lang. Naexperience ko rin yang matanda nako bawal tumawid mag isa. Yung mga high school friends ko marunong na mag mall ako ang pinakamalayo kong narating ay yung pinakamalapit na sari sari store. Di ako marunong mag jeep. Bawal magsaksak ng cord sa outlet kasi baka daw makuryente ako. Mga ganun.

Ngayon na matanda nako, ang pinakamahirap sa pagiging only child ay mawalan ng magulang. I lost my mom 3 yrs ago. Imagine 3 lang kami sa pamilya bigla magkukulang ng isa. Sobrang sakit. Wala kang karamay. Walang nakakaintindi sayo. Sino? Walang makakaintindi kasi isa ka lang na anak ng nanay mo. Ikaw lang nakakaalam kung anong nawala sayo kasi ikaw lang ang anak eh.

And now that im pregnant with my first child, nakikita kong mahihirapan ako dahil wala man lang akong kapatid na tutulong sakin. Daddy and hubby ko lang kasama ko. Syempre iba pa rin kung babae diba. Oh well. Kung pwede lang maulit lahat. Mas masaya kung may kapatid ako.

[j.adore]

Sis, ano tingin ng husband mo about this?

[quinone]

i am an only child as well. i guess common sa parents na maghigpit, nagiging helicopter parents kapag isa lang ang anak. hindi rin ako marunong mag commute. husband ko na ang nagturo sa akin niyan pero more on taxi/uber, hindi masyadong jeep.

medyo mahirap rin magasikaso if isa sa parents mo nasa ospital. ganun din kapag mag asikaso ka ng mga bagay like burial nila.

i think ha, kahit marami ka namang anak or isa lang, huwag mo lang isipin na you own your child (because they are not yours naman talaga but Gods) at palakihin mo with the objective na makatayo siya sa sariling niyang paa, wala masyadong issue kahit 1 lang siya.

[stylus]

Sabi nya pag malapit na daw due date ko papapuntahin dito si MIL. For me okay lang naman. Di ko naman kasalanan na wala nakong mommy. So sya na lang talaga ang lola. Kaso lang may 1 yr old pamangkin si hubby sa province na nanay nya nag aalaga. Sabi ko sa kanya, ayoko naman maging issue sa sister nya na inagawan ng taga alaga yung bata pag pinapunta dito yung nanay nila para sa baby namin. So hanggat kaya ko gawan ng paraan at hanapan ng mag aalaga sa side ko, like tita or pinsan.. sila na lang muna. Last resort na lang si MIL.

[amethyst028]

my son is turning 11yrs. old next month only child din. as a parent it's super easy kasi isa lang need mo asikasuhin. lahat ng atensyon andun sa bata. plus the fact na only apo siya ng mom ko so lahat talaga ng atensyon nasa kanya. pati mga brothers and sister ko pag may kailangan ako gawin sila nag aasikaso sa anak ko. in terms of expenses mas matipid rin like this school year 50k ang tuition fee sa school plus books almost 5k not to mention other things na need niya. and pati sa daily expenses siyempre siya lang ang ginagastusan. so for me iyan ang mga advantages.

disadvantage is i guess pag grown up na siya. i have 2 brothers and a sister and i can't count how many times we helped each other. and pag dinner time or holidays masaya kasi madami kayo sa bahay.

minsan gusto ko magka anak ulit para may kapatid yung anak ko. pero minsan rin ok na ko na isa lang. i guess if God wills it na magkaroon ka pa ng anak it will happen. others kasi they have kept trying but to no avail isa lang talaga ang binigay sa kanila.   

[stylus]

^siguro nga sis.. my mom kasi had 2 miscarriage after me eh. Sayang may 2 sana akong kapatid.

[kvandenhaak]

My son's almost 12. Hindi na nasundan because ex and I were having problems already. Because I live abroad, taking care is not that difficult. I don't think it's going to be that much of a difference kung meron pang isa. Ang problema kasi is sosolohin nya ang responsibility kapag tumanda na ako. At since, nag-iisa sya, iniisip ko na rin kung ano gagawin ko when he moves out of the house.

[argento]

ok nga yung solong anak eh, solo mo din ang mana 

[Vans]

@TS, ako rin. 6yrs din bago namin nabuo si baby. Almost 22 months na sya. Pinagiisipan ko kung susundan pa, kasi malapit na ako mag 40. Medyo hirap rin kasi ako magbuntis. Nag-aalala ako kung kakayanin ko mag alaga ng toddler habang buntis. Si hubby naman, gusto nya madagdagan kasi kawawa naman daw si baby paglaki at kung mawala na kami, magisa na lang sya.

[angelholics]

agree ako sa lahat ng comments TS however, mas naka relate sa story ni sis stylus.

i have a friend and he is an only child with 4 kids and pregnant wife (so going 5 kids). When his dad passed away last year. Mag isa lang si friend nag aasikaso kase his mom already in her 70s ay ailing na and of course there is no one to handle the funeral arrangement but my friend.

May palaki naman un parents nya na pinsan pero wala din naman naging much help aside sa nandun sa wake pero not 24hrs.

nakaka awa un friend namin kase, being an only son, he is hurt of his loss. he has to take care of his pregnant wife, mga toddler kids heheh sunod sunod kase sila, his ailing mom and un mga punchlines ng mga kamag anak sa side ng dad nya. they have their standards pero husto lang sa mando hehe

hehe true naman sa nag iisa ka lang sa mana.. kung may mamanahin ka kaso kung wala, shoulder ng only child lahat ng hospital and burial expense..

having a single child kung un ang bigay ni God then wala na tayo magagawa kundi hope and pray. pero if under control naman kaya naging only child...if i may say, sana 2 man lang kase mahirap nga when you have no one as in ulila na...

[IamMarieLove]

Agree mga sis. Yun din sinabi ng mama ko sa akin before na kapag wala daw akong kapatid mahihirapan daw ako sa pagaasikaso sa kanila kasi nag-iisa lang ako. If you have sibling kasi you get to share everything sa pag-aalaga pati na rin sa expenses and most importantly may karamay ka during tough times. Sure we have friends pero iba pa rin pag may kapatid ka.

But I don't agree with other people na anak lang ng anak. Yong tipong hindi iniisip kung kaya ba nila buhayin yong anak nila. Wala pa akong anak pero sa isip ko in the future kung ano lang ang kaya namin ang importante. Pag kaya lang namin ng isang anak o dalawa ok lang kasi para sa akin future ng mga anak ko ang mas importante. Sa hirap ng buhay dapat practical lang.

[ayi0119]

Sis, ano tingin ng husband mo about this?

Gusto nya na may kapatid yun anak namin kahit isa lang. Pero naiintindihan naman nya kung bakit ayoko na sana sundan. Bukod sa nahirapan ako managanak, nahirapan din ako magalaga. Working mom ako with shifting schedule.

[ayi0119]

Ang kwento naman sakin ng lola ng husband ko, kahit isa o sampu ang anak nyo, balang araw aalis din sila ng bahay nyo dahil gagawa na sila ng buhay ng kanila.

[Girltalker2]

Ako naman given a choice, mas gusto ko maraming anak kasi mahilig ako sa bata. Kahit na hirap ako mag alaga when they were small, may Yaya naman at hired help. Yun ang dasal ko lagi before to give us good and kind hearted help.

Pov ng parents minsan mas ok marami Anak para higher chances na may mag alaga sa pagtanda or may mag provide. Pero di din necessary na ganun. Minsan Isa lang Anak mo Pero maalaga. Minsan kahit isang dosena pa iyan, walang time lahat for the parents pag matanda na.

Sa pov naman ng anak, tingin ko wala din sa dami. Minsan dami magkapatid eh sila sila din nag aaway, at nagpapatayan pa in some cases. Ang importante is matibay ang loob nya, mapa lalaki o babae, kahit may kapatid o wala. Because at the end if the day, paglaki nila, ang importante marunong sila tumayo sa sarili nilang paa, at di lagi nakaasa sa magulang or kapatid.

[babykat]

I'm an only child.  I did not grow up to be a brat although may pagkaspoiled ng konti when I was a kid. Quite the opposite nga, kasi being an only child made me mature faster and I think it made me more responsible.  Para kasing alam ko naman na I don't have anybody else to rely on except myself.  My dad passed away when I was 9, so it was basically just me and my mom when I was growing up.  She was a bit overprotective.  But I have since learned to adapt.

When I was a kid, I admit it could get really lonely being an only child.  Especially since I didn't really have cousins my age, and those kids that were close to my age bullied me naman for being small and payat and nerdy (kasi I loved to read more than playing).

I missed out on the chikahan, asaran that I think is normal for siblings.  But di ko rin naranasan yung sibling rivalries.

I think, in the end, it's not how many kids there are in the family but what matters is what type of relationship you have in the family.

[thebratinella]

^ I agree with your last line. My father has a lot of siblings but they don't communicate with each other. May mga issues sila. My mother naman has 3 living siblings. The rest passed away when they were kids. Ang advantage talaga if close ang siblings is may karamay pag nagkaproblem sa family especially pag matatanda na ang parents. I see that in my mother's side. Sa side naman ng tatay ko yung disadvantage kasi may mga away. Nakakastress.

Nag-iisang anak din daughter ko. As much as we want to have another child, ang hirap na. When I gave birth, may yaya pa kami plus malakas pa lola ko and wala pang high blood mom ko so they were able to help me with taking care of my daughter lalo na my husband and I both work. We didn't have a yaya when my daughter turned 4. Buti na lang okay pa schedule ko before, nahatid-sundo ko pa sa school. When she was 5, we trained her to ride the school service with the other kids and yayas. Sabi ng driver ang comment daw ng ibang parents ang independent ng anak ko kasi she can handle herself sa pagpunta sa room and pagsakay ng van. She's also outgoing and friendly. Hindi siya humihingi ng kapatid. Siguro kasi she has a lot of friends and cousins her age. I work from home so I spend a lot of time with her. Naisip na rin namin ng husband ko before na what if try namin to have another one pero ang hirap. We have to consider yung pag-aalaga, finances and time.

Eldest ako sa family and it was close to 7 years before ako nasundan. Nalungkot ako kaya I prayed for a sibling. Naging 3 pa kami. After that I remember pinagdasal ko na tama na 3 kami kasi ang hirap mag-alaga. Wala kaming yaya before eh. Yung lola lang namin kasama sa house and my parents were busy. Ako tumulong sa kanya kaya hindi ako nakakapaglaro masyado sa labas before. I ask my daughter nga if she wants a sibling. Sinasabi niya ayaw niya. I have friends na wala ring mga kapatid and okay naman daw sila sa ganun. Though nagkuwento yung mother ng friend ng brother ko. She's a nurse in the US and may patient daw silang bata with cancer. Iyak nang iyak yung mom kasi nag-iisang anak. Dun daw siya nagdecide to have more kids. Napaisip din ako after that. If nabiyayaan ng isa pa, we would be thankful. If not, dasal na lang that our daughter would grow up happy and healthy.

[minikeyklush]

I think one of the con's ng pagiging only child is kapag nasa point ka na ikaw yung tumayong breadwinner of the family, just like what happened to me. Since wala akong kapatid and both my parents dont have any work ako yung nagpoprovide sa knila. Okay lang sana but still may times na winiwish kong i do have siblings na makakatuwang ko sa pagaalaga ng parents ko and magpoprovide din for them kasi its too overwhelming for me to bear lahat ng responsibilities. Ang sad part pa, nung nadiagnosed ang father ko ng cancer, I dont have anyone na pwede maconsult ng mga decisions kasi ang mom ko nakadepend din sa akin. So my thoughts of being an only child? mas masaya pa din siguro kahit 1 or 2 may siblings ka kasi iba pa din na may makakaramay ka.

[damonsgirl]

My mom is an only child. Pero she is very independent and hindi spoiled. She is supporting my grandparents until now sa lahat ng aspeto hindi lang financially. Nakwento nya samin na ayaw sana nya mag asawa but because sya lang ang way para magka apo ang parents nya, nagpakasal sya sa dad ko kahit may iba syang mahal but that guy can't have kids anymore due to vasectomy. Sa totoo lang napaka self-less ng mom ko. Saludo ako sa kanya. Twing na oospital lolo at lola ko, sya lang lahat. Buti dalawa kami ng brother ko to assist her. And my dad nga, since napilitan lang magpakasal dun yung mom ko, eh they don't get along kaya parang 5 lang kami sa family, my mom, brother, lolo, lola, and me at yung husband ko nakakatulong naman sa amin.

Like now, naka confine lolo ko. Kasama nya sa ospital yung mom and brother ko. I'm on bed rest due to my delicate pregnancy pero ako ang bantay sa lola ko sa bahay while everyone is at the hospital at nasa work naman si hubby. Btw, they are 87 and 86 yrs old na. My mom naman is 65.

She's an only child but not by choice. While my lola was pregnant with her, she had an appendectomy tapos may nagalaw ata na hindi tama during the operation so the next time my lola got pregnant, ectopic na and she never got pregnant after that.

They named my mom pa naman starting with an A kasi nung araw daw uso yung A,B,C,D,E... ang names ng babies. Ayun wala na naging B. Nagstop na sila sa A.

Right now, I'm pregnant with my IUI baby. Nahirapan kami before makabuo and tingin ko baka isa lang ang maging anak namin. But knowing yung hardships na pinagdaanan ng mom ko as an only child, balak ko magpa-IUI ulit after 1-2 yrs pagkapanganak ko para may katuwang naman si baby boy ko pag laki nya.