Having a Single Child

[swtgrl_bee]

^Pero sis, masaya ka ba ngayon? Na only child ka? Gusto ko rin kasi makarinig ng opinion ng mga only child.

[MoonshineLady]

^ iam an only child and growing up during childhood wala akong naging problem marami akong pinsan and kalaro na kapitbahay so i didnt feel lonely talaga. i felt alone lang when i got older and started working kasi ako lang inasahan ng mom ko. she retired right after i finished college so i need to work agad and kelangan tumulong sa gastusin sa bahay. there are times i asked my mom kung bakit wala akong kapatid kasi i feel burdened talaga. tho my dad was still working and earning but he had another family too na kelangan suportahan kaya his earnings are not 100% ours. ito lang yung sitwasyon na i really wished i had a sibling pero other than that, sa ngayon, okay lang naman din na wala akong kapatid. btw i have half sisters from my dad pero we are not close kasi hindi naging maganda ang nangyari sa past between them and us kaya ganun.

i have friends who always complains about their siblings. mga sakit daw sa ulo, palaasa etc..some of them will tell me na maswerte ako kasi wala akong kapatid tapos lahat pa daw ng mana at ariarian eh sakin lang daw mapupunta wala daw akong kahati hehe. as if din naman mayaman kami eh hindi naman! 

[andy2014]

Sometimes naiisip ko ito pero I love having a baby kahit sobrang hirap haha and yung baby ko talaga ininisip ko, gusto ko may kapatid sya. hehe

[izabelle]

^^ Sis MoonshineLady, if baligtad ang naging situation mo, do you think mas happy ka?  I mean what if hindi mo need mag provide para sa mom mo, what if she was able to prepare well for her retirement and hindi sya umaasa sayo pagdating sa financial, do you think mas magiging ok sana ang pagiging only child?


I'm just asking because most of the time, the reasons I'm getting kung bakit "need" ang sibling ay para daw may kahati sa financial responsibilities pag tanda ng parents, para daw may kahati sa responsibility sa pag aalaga sa parents, more on financial aspect palagi ang reason.,

Parang for me lang, ang pangit na dahilan yun kaya kailangan mag anak ulit.

[antithesisofbarbie]

Hindi ko pa sure if gusto ko pa ng second baby.
Madami akong factors na need i-consider.

Number one is the financial aspect. May okay na work naman kami ni hubby and we are working really hard for our little girl and her future. Gusto talaga namin na maibigay sa kanya lahat ng needs niya and to provide for her wants (not all the time). If we are going to have baby no.2 I am not sure if we can give the same kasi ngayon palang lang hirap na. So that's my number one concern. Ayoko naman ng baby no.2 pero biglang less na lahat.

My age. We are planning to have baby no.2 after 5 years. 37 na ko by then. Healthy pa ba ko by that time? Sakitin kasi ako. Si hubby talaga gusto nya ng baby no.2 pa.

I have two cousins na only child. Okay naman sila and I think they are happy naman. 
I am not thinking about my daughter growing up alone I am sure naman na we can give her a happy childhood and teenage years kahit mag isa sya..and wala naman akong pakialam if aalagaan niya kami when we're old.

[izabelle]

^ not to mention sis, we also need to prepare for our retirement. Alangan naman manghingi pa sa anak pag matatanda na tayo.

kaya napapaisip din ako sundan yung daughter namin, kasi we need to save for our retirement talaga. I don't like the idea ng walang pera pag tanda. Hindi habang buhay e malakas at kaya magwork.

Sabi ko nga sa hubby ko if milyonaryo lang kami (tamang nagdodonate nalang ng 1M sa charity haha), aba e kahit 6 kids, go!

[twelvth_goddess]

Our daughter is an only child too and she is turning  7 years old this September. I'm 35 and my husband is turning 37. I want another child, regardless if boy or another girl. For the longest time, ayoko pa because we've not had a yaya for the past four years and it's been tough on my husband and I since we're working  full time.

When my stepdad passed away last November, naisip ko lang how tough it's going to be for my daughter if something happens to my husband or I (knock on wood). I would want her to have someone she can talk to and share her experiences with, not go through life alone. My husband and I came from big families too.

My daughter lang is quite selfish pa with our attention cus the three of us are really close and affectionate with one another. Hopefully we'd get blessed with another child pa. We've  been able to prepare for my daughter's future and our retirement as well. It's just a matter of adding another security for another child if ever.

[Aftergl0w]

I am an only child and when I was younger, I thought I was lucky. Walang kahati.

But it got really lonely, especially because my parents are separated. Now that I am an adult, I thought how it would have been so much better to have a sibling. Someone you can have Sunday lunches with. Most importantly, meron kang karamay when you go through a difficult family crisis. When I have a problem with any of my parents, feeling ko walang ibang nakakaintindi kasi there's no one who shares the very same position I am in. Not even my husband no matter how supportive he is.

That is why I let my hubby understand that we will try our best na masundan si upcoming baby a few years later, knowing how much of a challenge it will be. Kahit dalawa lang sila, ok na ako.

[swtgrl_bee]

^Sis Aftergl0w, after mo manganak can you give go back to this thread and if same thoughts pa din. Wishing you a healthy pregnancy and delivery.


We celebrated our 7th anniversary last month, at inulan kami ng mga wish na pwede na sundan yung anak namin. Pauwi galing sa anniversary trip namin, nag usap kami ng asawa ko. Same decision pa din. Hindi pa talaga namin kaya.

[Dyewel]

^Pero sis, masaya ka ba ngayon? Na only child ka? Gusto ko rin kasi makarinig ng opinion ng mga only child.

I am happy and contented right now, but i don't think it has something to do being an only child.   Growing up for me was not easy (my father died when I was 10, at nag-OFW ang nanay ko a year after, kaya naiwan ako mag-isa with my aunt family), but it helped me to be an independent adult.
I now have my own family, bago pa kami magpakasal napag-usapan na namin na 2 ang gusto naming anak (9 na magkakapatid ang mister ko), 2kids  maybe because I don't want my child to have my childhood experience. Saka, every time  na nakikita ko magkakapatid nina nanay  magkakasama, nagkukwentuhan, nag-tatalo, nagtatawanan, naiinggit ako dahil that is something that I will never experience. I want my children to experince that special bond between siblings.

[amethyst028]

For the longest time i'm content with having one child. My son just turned 12. Hands on ako since he was born no yaya talaga. Now na malaki na siya i have more time to focus on work and do my other hobbies na neglect ko dati.

Then i met my bf and he also has a son na. He's 47, i'm  38 na. He wants to have another kid, actually more than 1 daw. Pero minimum is another kid. Preferably boy. I'm having second thoughts about getting pregnant again and starting all over. 12yrs. Of raising a child by yourself is no joke so maybe that's why i'm pretty scared.

But bf is more maternal than me, i see him with his 6yr. Old son. He's super hands on, pati domestic duties including laundry siya talaga. He's also a good provider for his kid. Siguro pag nagka anak kame mas matindi pa siya mag alaga kesa sakin.

[geekchiq]

This is the dilemma we are having now ni hubby. Hubby wants another baby while I, on the other hand, am happy having one. Initially we are planning to have another by summer next year. However when hubby had another diabetes emergency as in very high sugar, parang nawalan ako ng gana sundan si daughter.

Financially, we are not ok pa rin. So am too scared of the future na we dont have proper retirement and all. Tapos with his sickness pa, diabetes and gout, am too scared din of their complications and possible bearing on our finances. I want to secure my daughter's future before thinking of having another. In addition, he is not making any steps to take care of himself. So why add another if I can't see my hubby's discipline on management of his illness.

Second, am not prepared emotionally. I love my daughter so much na hindi ko alam baka hindi ko mabalance iyong love na mabigay ko. Ayoko iyong feeling na maneglect siya because may bagong baby na. I don't want to go again din sa phase na I am too paranoid when pregnant. Yung tipong di mo alam what is happening sa baby inside the tummy. I am not yet ready to go that road again.

Third is yaya matters. I have a yaya who I can depend on. But we have to ensure that she is in for the long haul and won't just leave us hanging. We have to be assured din that she's ready to take care of a newborn and all.My hubby and I both need to work. So sa yaya lang maiiwan  most of the time especially nakabukod kami.

Kaya with all those things mentioned above, parang ayoko pa talaga. Am still 31 pa naman but I told my hubby no baby making na by age 33 or the most 35. Ayokong magwork until senior citizen.

[izabelle]

^ Ako din ayoko ng nagwowork pa or may pressure pa kapag senior citizen na so ang hirap kapag nagpapaaral ka pa by then. Unless nalang napaka yaman namin kaso hindi. Middle class lang kami.

Kapag isa lang anak namin, at age 48yrs old tapos na kami magpa aral. Hayahay na buhay 

Yan din deadline ko e 35 years old or 36 na siguro maximum dapat may 2nd baby na kung magkakaroon man. Mahirap na din daw manganak ng medyo may edad na.

[Astrid01]

I'm in my late 30s na.  My son is 4 years old.  We're trying to have another child.  Hirap na kami makabuo. Dahil na rin siguro sa age.  Tsaka madalas pagod sa work asawa ko.  Dami nagtatanong kung kailan susundan.  Mas pressured tuloy ako. Tama nga yung sinabi ng ibang mommies dito. After namin nagpakasal,  nag enjoy muna kami ng kami lang.  Dami nagsasabi na dapat mag anak na.  After 2 years ako nabuntis.  Tapos ang sinasabi namin ngayon,  sundan na.  O di ba?

Ayoko rin ipasa burden ng magulang sa anak.  Si hubby kasi only child tapos sya nagsusupport sa nanay nya.  Tapos kung ano ano pa pinapabili.  Di naman malaki kita ng asawa ko.

Pinag usapan namin na dapat may ipon kami hanggang pagtanda. 

[Danicajan26]

Anyone here na me alam about adoption? Nagahhanap kam ng mga mabubuting foster parents para sa magiging anak ko

[swtgrl_bee]

Sis geekchiq, right decision. Kung gusto ni husband mo na another child dapat siya mismo ayusin ang health niya. I am also 31 YO and may mga peers ako na may gout at talagang hindi sila nakakapasok kapag inaatake sila, yung iba 1 week pa. So less work less salary di'ba? I feel you sis.

May isa akong Mommy friend na all girls ang anak, ay grabe once nakita ko ang daming lice/lisa. Nakakaloka lang, parang ayaw ko naman mangyari yung ganun. Na tipong sa dami ng anak mo, hindi mo na talaga maasikaso isa isa. But again if you have all the means, why not talaga.

[Miss Granger]

My thoughts now.

[KVsWahmmy]

Hay, everytime we go to a family gathering, ultimo burol ha - I get the 'sundan niyo na 'yan' and the 'naku mahirap pag iisa lang ang anak!' tirade and it's getting reallly annoying already. They probably mean well ano, since they discuss the benefits and whatnot. Pero sana lang, hindi naman lahat ng tao jusko. I do want to have another kid naman...just not now. I want to be able to start a business talaga and kahit papano magstabilize ang finances before we have another one - dahil kahit pano natin paikut-ikutin ang mundo, magastos na talaga at mahal na magka-anak ngayon. Siyempre if I was able to give the best of the best to my firstborn, gusto ko yung sunod na anak ko ganoon din - kung pwede ngang better pa. And to be honest, I am still enjoying itong phase na 8 years old na ang anak ko so we really get to do things together na (kahit favorite ko din sya kaaway). We can go to the nail salon together, go shopping together, go pig out together... Yung staycations na ang kailangan mo lang siya i-watch e pag nagswimming, other than that she's super game for everything (we even went on a short hike in Baler and she's all out- no complaints!). Ang saya saya pa eh.

Siguro culture na lang din dito sa atin yang pagbibigay ng unsolicited advice, pero sana maging part din ng culture natin ang konting preno. Hehe. 

[Shadow Angel]

Hindi ko alam kung dahil nasa phase pa kami ng adjustment with baby pero parang gusto ko isa na lang ang anak namin. Kaya lang may mga times din gusto ko may kapatid ang LO ko.

[Rory_Lorelie_Gilmore]

We thought of having 1 kid pero as we analyze everything, we're leaning towards having 2 kids na, lagyan nalang namin ng 5 yrs gap siguro para hinde overwhelming, naisip lang namin na super lungkot naman nya kapag nawala kami, though pwede naman istay close sa cousins. Let's see. 

Kasi ako personally, may 1 brother (from both parents) and I have 4 half siblings, yung other 4 may kanya kanya na buhay, though yung sister namin super love naman kami ng brother ko (we are almost 10-15 yrs younger sakanila) ngayon na alagain na parents namin, Im so happy meron ako kapatid, ang hirap magisa mo asikasuhin lahat, finances, pag may naoospital, errands, etc.

Plus pag 1 either baka ma spoil masyado, or machoke sa attention namin mag-asawa haha, di kaya? Dami pros and cons talaga.