Author Topic: Be optimistic, but often involved with negative situations  (Read 1956 times)

mikewazowski

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Be optimistic, but often involved with negative situations
« on: December 23, 2015, 04:44:28 pm »
I barely have a good memory to think about, I am 20 years old now.



1. My brother once said with an annoyed/disgusted face, "Sasama pa yan[me]?!"

2. My mother never introduced me to anyone, even if I'm just inches away from her (she always just introduce my sister)

3. In addition, she usually "hides" me, by blocking herself in front of my position, for me not to be seen.

4. She verbalized that I'm average, and my sister is so gorgeous and a head turner

5. When I'm with my brother buying stuff outside, he always instruct me to go back to our vehicle
asap. (not exaggeration, but obviously he did not want/embarassed to be seen with me)

6. I was called "Bakekang" by a group of different boys that I do not know twice (about 7 boys each)

7. I was called "feeling maganda" a lot of times, mostly by salesboy / chashier (I know its my faial expression, I was not trying to be cute at all)

8. I was called "pet" by my ony friend in high school

9. Out of the blue, my only friend in college just completely ignored me, as if we never talk. She continuously ignore till present. (Since I gained weight)

10.
I was also called ugly by my relatives (because they thought that I have left already)

11.
Every. Single. Person. (no kidding!!), always... alwaysssss... compare me to my sister, and how 'useless' I am compared to her. Yep, they always have an annoyed face and high pitched tone of voice when they are talking to me. I swear...

12.
When I tried to have conversation with my coursemate, they would; a.) Reply uninterestingly, then talk immediately to other people/leave/use phone, b.) ignore me



So I guess that sums it up? I really want to be optimistic, but I really am subjected to rejection / negative vibe. Really... this is my life, I am trying for years now. But I know why, I am not amazing in anything!! I am always below average (look, personality, "talent", intelligence, etc)

FayeP

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Re: Be optimistic, but often involved with negative situations
« Reply #1 on: December 24, 2015, 01:01:34 am »
woopppps sis! alam mo dati (and even up to now), lagi ako nasasabihan na chaka, negra, payatot, lahat lahat na, pati nga mga words like dukha, anak ng labandera etc etc...lahat din ng rejection at panglalait ng kapwa dinanas ko pero alam mo, deadma lang ako....bahala sila mamroblema, sila itong negative...

so ang hinuha ko sa kwento mo ay wala kang close friend up to now at di ka talaga naging close sa family mo? what about your dad?

why don't you join a church org...un mga taong positive na pwede mag encourage sayo...ako kasi I don't dwell on the negatives eh, kaya wag na lang din un ang isipin mo kahit na alam ko mahirap...naranasan ko din un umiyak before bago matulog pero ngayon hindi na...

tara toma na lang tayo hahaha you have us sis...
"The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold."
                                     -Psalm 18:2

mikewazowski

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Re: Be optimistic, but often involved with negative situations
« Reply #2 on: December 24, 2015, 06:16:56 am »
Not having a friend is not a big of an issue :) I felt bad because I tried my best, I never did anything that may annoy them. lMy main concern was, I often try my hardest, often give a lot of effort to be or have more rrason to be positive / happy, but external factors always somehow stop it. Not exagerating vut, every single person that I meet does not like me.

But I somehow realized now as to why, I always believed / hoped that people does not judge you or base their treatment on a person on the basis on simple factors. Apparently, I stpped hoping. Being judgemental, having a huge bias of treatment towards you highly depends on your looks; and that is fact even if no one wants to admit it.


I'd love to change, but I often have bias myself, I often have prejudgement,I often assume that they'll just don't like me. Honestly, I always expect someone to not like me. Being not liked is a normal thing for me now...


I truly don't get the fact that you have to lool good, to be treated nicely. Like theres a certain standard to reach before you are treated "special". Looks is not all a person can offer! Why??? Why people focus on insignificant factors??

latte

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Re: Be optimistic, but often involved with negative situations
« Reply #3 on: December 28, 2015, 03:24:38 pm »
Treat yourself the way you want others to treat you. Love yourself regardless. Believe in yourself.

I used to be fat from elementary days hanggang sa nagwowork na ko. Palagi ako tinutukso na babsi and all, nasaktan ako yes pero hindi nawala yung confidence ko sa sarili ko. I always envisioned myself the way i wanted to, basta sa isip ko maganda ako at gaganda pa ako. True enough nangyari lahat yun. Pumayat ako at naging sexy. I couldn't believe it like kahit sinong makasalubong ko babae o lalake napapalingon. Halos lahat ng taong nakakasalamuha ko sinasabi na ang ganda ganda ko lol! AND IT ALL BEGINS WITH ME BELIEVING THAT I AM BEAUTIFUL. Pero hindi lang yan physical beauty kundi syempre pati yung inside beauty dinevelop ko din.

maris_lair

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Re: Be optimistic, but often involved with negative situations
« Reply #4 on: December 30, 2015, 03:10:29 am »
Hi!

I'm ugly (according to the world's definition of beauty) but heck, I do not care. :D

Naranasan ko ma-bully when I was young kasi maitim ako, pango ilong ko, payat ako. So there. Growing up, I had doubts about myself. Mabuti na lang matalino ako, hahaha. Na-build yung self esteem ko nung isinali ako sa competitions ng teachers ko. Ok naman.

My current situation: I am living life almost stress-free. I think I found the "secret formula" to living happier. I started loving myself. Ang galing nga eh kasi simula nung mahalin ko yung sarili ko, um-ok yung pakiramdam ko. Simula nung wala na akong pakialam sa sasabihin ng ibang tao, (and by that I mean wala talagang pakialam, zero, nada, nilch) okay na okay. Ginagawa ko kung ano gusto ko without thinking what others will say or think about me. Kapag may naririnig akong negative things other people say about me, iniisip ko kung ganun ba talaga ako. After assessing kung totoo yung sinasabi nila, binabago ko yung pangit na nakita nila sa akin. Pero kung na-misunderstood lang nila ako, bahala na sila.

Isa pang ginagawa ko ay umiwas sa mga negative na tao. Kapag alam kong pinaplastik lang ako, lumalayo agad ako. If they talk to me, then I answer them out of courtesy. Otherwise, they won't hear anything from me.

Girl, what others think of you is not your problem. Kung wala namang masama sa pag-uugali mo at ipinapakita sa iba, carry on. Hindi kasi maiiwasan yung mga ganyan eh. May mga tao talagang sadyang gustong pag-usapan ang ibang tao kesa tingnan ang sarili nila.

Yung sa pamilya mo, hmmm, mahirap kasi pamilya na yan eh. Pero if I were you, I will let my family know how I feel about sa treatment nila sa akin, na it's not ok. Ngayon, kung ganun pa rin afterwards, ignore na lang. Basta it all starts with loving yourself wholeheartedly. Embrace who you are, change what you think needs to be changed. It all starts with you.  :-*


mikewazowski

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Re: Be optimistic, but often involved with negative situations
« Reply #5 on: January 19, 2016, 08:02:59 pm »
I actually got "better-looking" twice. Well, basically whenever I get soo skinny / have a skinny face and clear skin. And in both situations, a lot of people approach and treated me better. Honestly, I'm disgusted. That's when I lost my friends, when I gained weight... They just suddenly ignored me... every single person that I know... they viewed me as something so small / not worth anything.... When I gained weight / change my physical appearance ONLY, people around me decreases. Every single time.


Well, that's my environment for 7 years, being ignored / treated so poorly because I'm "not good enough for them". I always thought / hope that people will treat other base from their personality, and all people will be treated equally - Pffft. Madalas kasi disgusted yung pakiramdam ko towards people, parang two-faced kasi, okay pag okay yung istura mo pwe.


I'm doing better now, ineexpose ko nalang sa funny internet side yung sarili ko para maging okay yung mood ko hehe. Ehh wala eh, nakaka suffocate din sa bahay / kapatid / school  staff / employees / classmates. Loner ako ahuhuhu 3rd year na ako :( And they avoid eye contact para di ko iapproach



Constant rejection for years...
Constantly being called ugly
Constantly being compared


For years, I swear... I've never heard a single compliment direct on me
Puro negative, constantly "unwanted" yung treatment


I'm talking about 7 YEARS....
Yes mahirap maka get-over, parang nasanay na kasi ako, apparently

Just remembering these things, na walang nangyari saken na maganda for 7 years, masakit talaga


I want to build happy memories! I'm only 20!! I've wasted a lot of years. As in walang happy memories



I want to here tips, paano magiging masaya kung lahat ay negative? Past till present. And ganon na din environment ko hanggang makagrad.



TIPS PLEASE :) How to look on the brighter side? When people around you constantly makes you feel like they wish that you never existed



I WANT TO BE HAPPY FROM HERE ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![/size]

three8one

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Re: Be optimistic, but often involved with negative situations
« Reply #6 on: January 20, 2016, 01:10:31 pm »

TIPS PLEASE :) How to look on the brighter side? When people around you constantly makes you feel like they wish that you never existed[/b]


I WANT TO BE HAPPY FROM HERE ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I suggest lahat ng gagawin mo from now on I dedicate mo sa Panginoon at para sa sarili mo lamang.. gumawa ka ng mga bagay na alam mong tama para sa ikakokontento ng sarili mo at hindi ng para sa iba. kung wala man taong maka appreciate ng lahat ng efforts na ginagawa mo, anjan ang Diyos nakamasid sa lahat ng ginagawa mo.
.... apart from You i can do nothing.... but with God nothing is impossible...therefore, I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.
 
John 15:5
Matthew 19:26
Philippians 4:13

young_maiden

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Re: Be optimistic, but often involved with negative situations
« Reply #7 on: January 20, 2016, 06:52:14 pm »
Hi sis. No offense ha. Pero try mo muna tanungin sarili mo if something is wrong with you. Hindi sa looks ha. Sa ugali. Tactless ka ba? Grabe manlait? Mayabang?

Naniniwala ako na we cannot please everyone. Kahit ano pa hitsura at ugali natin, may mga tao talaga na ayaw sa atin. Ang importante we have true friends at family na hindi tayo susukuan. Pero pag halos lahat na ng tao sa paligid mo, pati mga taong dapat sana neutral sayo, ay nilalayuan ka, mag-isip-isip ka na. Baka meron ka kailangan baguhin sa ugali mo. Baka may something sa personality mo na namimisinterpret ng ibang tao.

Pero pag wala naman talaga problema sa attitude mo, don't mind your haters. Surround yourself with positive people, mga tao na naniniwala sayo at tanggap ka kahit sino ka pa. I'm sure meron ka naman sigurong mga friends o family members na kahit konti lang eh tanggap ka pa rin.
The less you respond to negative people, the more peaceful your life will become.

quinone

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Re: Be optimistic, but often involved with negative situations
« Reply #8 on: January 23, 2016, 08:59:19 pm »
you are looking for happiness? Who is the source of happiness?

simang

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Re: Be optimistic, but often involved with negative situations
« Reply #9 on: January 23, 2016, 09:07:10 pm »
The common denominator in all those negative situations is you.
...all adventurous women do.

red_yesha

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Re: Be optimistic, but often involved with negative situations
« Reply #10 on: January 23, 2016, 11:19:38 pm »
TS ang negative mo mismo sa sarili mo, so paano mo makikita ang brighter side?
Tapos iniisip mo kaagad na ayaw sayo ng tao kasi dahil lang sa physical appearance???
Look sis, sa palagay ko ikaw mismo ang lumalayo sa tao. Kasi iniisip mo nga na "unwanted" ka. Wag ganun. Wag masyadong maging hard sa sarili.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. :)

mikewazowski

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Re: Be optimistic, but often involved with negative situations
« Reply #11 on: January 25, 2016, 08:43:44 pm »
Tama kayo sis red_yesha and sis simang. Mahina kasi loob ko noon, kaya pag bawat rejection ay lumiliit tingin ko sa sarili ko, kumabaga agree nalang ako na ganon ako. Years ganon mindset ko, masyado ka na-stock sa "unwanted ako" base sa initial impression nila saken, since madaming rejection na, parang nawala na din akong gana kapag parang di din sila interested.


Hindi looks yung sinisisi ko, mukha nga yun yung napaparting ng message ko. Masyado lang talaga maliit tingin ko sa sarili ko, kasi I'm not good at anything and I don't give any effort to be good at something. Parang iniisip ko agad na di ko kaya, so not worth the effort, masyadong kawawa kasi yung tingin ko sa sarili ko.


Para bang nasanay na ako sa situation ko. Gusto ko maiba, pero hindi naman ako ume-effort, ayaw kasi feeling ng rejection / minamaliit na tigngin. Nasanay lang ako na ganito mind set, kaya eto frustrated / disappointed sa sarili.


I'm negative towards myself, kaya nega din environ ko. Gusto ko talaga magbago, "YOLO" nga ika-nga. Gusto mabago yung minamaliit ko yung sarili ko masyado. Gusto ko maging confident. Masyado akong scaredy cat. Tips on how to handle rejection / pag di mo mareach yung na set mong goal (disappointments)? Minsan, madali sabihin pero pag involve yung pag change ng mindset from being extremely pessimistic towards self transforming to a optimistic person takes effort, na willing ko itake. Any change naman ay di mabilis at madali. I wish to hear some tips on how can I change and deal with rejection and disappointment? Yes lahat nakakaranas neto at normal siya, pero wala kasi talaga akong confidence, kaya konting ano lang mabilis ako sumuko -.- Mindset ko talaga problem



Sis young_maiden, Thank you. Hindi ako ganon hehe. Masyado lang ako insecure at pessimistic sa sarili / walang tiwala kaya eto masyado maliit tingin ko sa sarili ko. Parang taong walang mararating kasi wala naman akong skills o talent. Mindset ko talaga prob. Imbes na magtry ako umalis sa situation ko, inaccept ko nalang at walang ginawa para umalis sa ganon atmosphere. Pero Ine-aim ko na talag magbago, 20 na ako. Gusto ko naman maging worry-free, carefree, at i-enjoy yung buhay. Gusto ko talaga baguhin etong mindset ko.

young_maiden

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Re: Be optimistic, but often involved with negative situations
« Reply #12 on: January 25, 2016, 09:07:24 pm »
^ Nakikita ko sarili ko sa'yo dati pero, again no offense, mas malala ka sa akin. Hehe. Nega din ako sa sarili ko noong teenager ako at wala self-confidence. Pero sinubukan ko baguhin mindset ko. Nag-ayos ako. Naging choosy ako sa mga friends ko. Mas gusto ko maging loner kaysa madami friends na sinisiraan lang ako patalikod. Sis, hindi pwedeng forever kang ganyan. Kinakawawa mo lang sarili mo. Kung ikaw walang love at respect sa sarili mo, paano ka mamahalin at rerespetuhin ng ibang tao? Love yourself sabi nga ni Justin Bieber. LOL.
The less you respond to negative people, the more peaceful your life will become.

Ma.Jewel_1987

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Re: Be optimistic, but often involved with negative situations
« Reply #13 on: January 27, 2016, 03:03:57 pm »
Hmm meron bang kahit isang tao man lang na nagpaparamdam sayo ng opposite sa pinapakita nila? Kasi kung pare-pareho sila ng reaction towards you hindi kaya there's something off about you?I'm not talking about hitsura or panlabas na anyo ha, heck daming sobrang pangit jan pero marami namang nagmamahal sa kanila at madami naman silang friends. Hindi kaya sa attitude mo sis?Baka lagi kang nakabusangot and nakairap kaya naiinis sila sayo? I'm not judging you sis but I would like to help lang sana. For starters try mo mag smile lagi, it will lighten your mood and how you see the world  :) It's all about attitude and how you present your self sa ibang tao.
Enjoy the little things in life, because one day you will realize they were the big things.

yelle

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Re: Be optimistic, but often involved with negative situations
« Reply #14 on: January 30, 2016, 09:13:30 am »
@ sis mikewazowski Hugs for you sis.. Look, the problem is you are dwelling on the negative past and present situations. My advice to you, from now on stop dwelling on those, don't let negativity consume you.. The more you are negative the more it grows within you and part of you. Let go.

You can start by rewiring your brain to think positively. Let's say every time you wake up and before going to bed think about the positive experiences you've had in the past and hold on to those thoughts, you may say positive affirmations to yourself like "I always feel good. As a result, my body feels good and I radiate good feelings", "I fill my day with hope and face it with joy" or the most infamous line "I am confidently beautiful with a heart."  Believe in those affirmations and if you find it hard believing them, then fake it, until you believe in it.  :)

Mahirap sa umpisa pero just keep going and start practicing by exercising your brain to think positively. Your feelings will be your indicator. If you find yourself feeling sad, lonely, guilty etc. then mag isip ka kaagad ng positive experiences, mag day dream ka, listen to good music, watch feel good movies, or make your self busy with activities you love doing etc.

Look at these "bad memories" as an opportunity to better yourself.  Like pwede mong bigyan ng small gift or token ang brother mo with a note #wold'sbestbrother. Maniwala ka lalambot ang puso nyan sayo. Sasusunod ikaw ng ang #world'sbestsister sa paningin nya. If they can't show you love then you show them love. May kasabihan nga diba na pag binato ka ng bato batuhin mo ng tinapay. You must exude positive vibe to the people around you and they will react accordingly to your vibe.

Believe me optimism is a game changer. I am speaking from my experience. Good Luck! ;)
« Last Edit: January 30, 2016, 10:30:49 am by yelle »

mikewazowski

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Re: Be optimistic, but often involved with negative situations
« Reply #15 on: February 01, 2016, 07:15:42 pm »
Tanks mga sis!! c:


Madami akong narelize sa mga sinabi niyo hehe. It somehow breaks my heart when I remembered the girl I used to be, always smiling, wala gaanong worry sa iniisip ng iba / kahit sobrang legit loser ako ng high school / loner.


Baakit parang bine-blame ko sa looks? Hmmm.. Okay... eto kasi yon, sobrang payat kasi ako dati (anorexic, gawa ng self-hatred/insec/lagi sinasabihan nga ng pangit/kinakahiya ng lahat). Tapos syempre, may bounce back due to strict diet. I gained weight little by little (at first), since matangkad ako, slender naman ang built, naging mala-kendall jenner ang katawan ko (yep, flat stomach+flat puson), or the usual "model" figure.


Since wala akong kinakain na processed, high water intake, exercise, good hygiene, okay din ang skin ko (no eyebags, minimal pores, "maaliwas look"), kumbaga fresh ako lagi tignan. Tapos mahaba din buhok ko na ash brown kaya lalo pumuti ang itsura. Hindi nagmamayabang, (this will really sound like na mayabang). Naging head-turner ako for about two weeks lol.


So ayun, madaming naging "interested" na kausapin ako, at first time ko magkaroon ng friends. First time na tratuhin ako ng maayos. First time na may naka-notice sa existence ko. Hindi kasi ako mahilig manalamin, literal na 3 months ako tumagal na hindi tumingin sa reflection ko (kasi ayaw ang nakikita).


Pero eversince naman, wala talaga akong pake sa looks at naniniwala na mas valuable ang inner beauty. Apparently, I'm surrounded by people who value apperance or how cool you look more. Pero naman, noong nagbago itsura ko, kahit konti, wala nagbago sa ugali ko.


Anyway, noong nag gain ako ng madaming weight, a.k.a bumalik ako sa dati kong itsura (mabilis kasi tumaba mukha ko). AYUN. LAHAT ng naging mabait / pumansin saken nung iba itsura ko... LAHAT sila hinu-you (Who you) ako. LAHAT.


Mababaw, pero since naging okay buhay lo noong payat ako (naging payat din kasi ako noong 6th grade then gained a lot of weighy noong 1st year, exact same thing happened). I will lose weight for now (siguro for confidence na din)

So ayun. Mmmm... gusto ko talaga magbago. Ayoko na maging loser. Gusto ko magkaroon ng confidence. I want to win. I want to love myself. I'm so tired of being looked down to. I want to change. I want to be an epic person whose slaying everything that I do (Doing great at everything). I know I don't have the skill to slay everything yet. So yun muna siguro poproblemahin ko lol.


1. Lose weight
2. Nice skin
3. Top grades
4. Learn skill and be great with it
5. Be muti-talented LOL (basta madami kayang gawin + galingan dito)
6. Be fit / Strong / good sa physical activities


So, Looks-Intelligence-Personality-Skills-Strength


20 pa lang ako. Sana madami ma-achieve before 2017. Tips siguro para magkaroon ng tiwala kahit madaming nagda-doubt / dealing w/ loneliness (since 0 friends ako sa school at mababa talaga tingin saken ng lahat)



red_yesha

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Re: Be optimistic, but often involved with negative situations
« Reply #16 on: February 02, 2016, 09:24:57 am »
^bukod sa good looks, matalino at talentado kelangan PINAKApag-ibayuhin mong makamtan ang pagkakaroon ng mabuting puso.
Magtiwala ka sa sarili mo!! Hindi to magiging madali pero kaya mo yan!!!
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. :)

 


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