Got questions regarding men? Post it here! (Thread 7)

[candhie]

After making love, how will a girl know if the guy truly loves her or he is just after sex? Is there really a way of knowing?

Curious lang. Because not sure if biased lang ako but when I was married to my only BF then and ex now, I didn't feel his love and care. Of course I didn't know any better (I think). While with my current BF, I felt special, loved and cared for. Never knew na ganun pala or ganun nga ba?

I also have this question in mind...

[dismembered]

After making love, how will a girl know if the guy truly loves her or he is just after sex? Is there really a way of knowing?

You'll never know...only time would tell. Kasi kahit kaming mga lalake nalilito din. Di mo malaman kung mahal mo na ba or talagang sex lang o dahil nandun yung feeling ng intimacy after.

Kaya nga laging sinasabi ng matatanda, ikasal muna bago ang sex... At least you have given the guy the chance to prove how much he loves you, at least through marriage. Merong proof sa batas at sa harap ng tao.

[Girltalker2]

^ but that doesn't guarantee din di ba? Akala mo mahal ka since you both waited, after marriage naman tsaka nagkaron ng kabit.
 

[j.adore]

After making love, how will a girl know if the guy truly loves her or he is just after sex? Is there really a way of knowing?

Curious lang. Because not sure if biased lang ako but when I was married to my only BF then and ex now, I didn't feel his love and care. Of course I didn't know any better (I think). While with my current BF, I felt special, loved and cared for. Never knew na ganun pala or ganun nga ba?

Magkakaiba ang mga tao so there's no definite way to tell. However, you can try to observe him afterwards. Ano ang kaibahan sa kanya before and after sex? Mas naging sweet ba? Mas na-appreciate ka ba niya?

You said you didn't feel his love and care. Was that feeling existing before when you were together pa or just now that he's your ex?

Kaya nga laging sinasabi ng matatanda, ikasal muna bago ang sex... At least you have given the guy the chance to prove how much he loves you, at least through marriage. Merong proof sa batas at sa harap ng tao.

The big BUT here is if the sexual preference differ from one another pala, there's no assurance din.
I know someone na ganun nangyari and well...someone strayed

[Girltalker2]

You said you didn't feel his love and care. Was that feeling existing before when you were together pa or just now that he's your ex?

Regarding my ex, it was when we were married, akala ko ok lang since he was the only man I had been with. Pero now that I have a BF, my current BF is more caring, kung i-compare ko.

So I just thought baka one can tell sa how he treats you in bed kung mahal ka talaga nya o hindi.

[dismembered]

^ but that doesn't guarantee din di ba? Akala mo mahal ka since you both waited, after marriage naman tsaka nagkaron ng kabit.

Wala naman talagang guarantee kahit ano eh. Ang sinasabi ko lang, at least meron kang pinanghahawakan, at least bound ng batas si lalake kaya magdadalawang isip mag loko. Sabi nga nila, falling in love is by chance, pero staying in love is by choice. Kaya mas ma-test mo ang love and commitment kapag wala na ang excitement at kilig moments.

Mahirap kasi talaga malaman kung love ba o gusto lang makahirit talaga. Madaming factor na need i-consider. Pero malaki ang chances na, kapag wala ng excitement, kilig, etc... and nandun pa rin sya for you, love na nga yun.

[marikit26]

Matagal na kami ni BF, pero bakit hanggang ngayon parang wala pa akong nakasama ni isa sa mga friends/co-workers niya? Minsan, lumalabas siya with them pero he never attempted to ask me kung pwede akong sumama considering na may girl naman sa group nila kaya hindi naman siguro awkward kapag sumama ako. E ako, kahit alam kong hindi siya pwede, i make sure kapag may lakad ako with my friends, iniinvite ko naman sya to join us. His friends knew me already by name lang (siguro). Kahit nga sa FB, wala kaming picture na magkasama e.  Ganun ba talaga mga lalake?

[j.adore]

Nabasa ko na red flag yung ganyan. Either may iba siya o ikaw yung iba niya. Ano reason niya bakit hindi ka niya pinapakilala sa friends niya?

[marikit26]

I never asked him why, pero namention ko na before na sana may makilala naman akong friend niya na kapag may lakad sila, sama niya ako, and vise versa. Tsaka, yung naiisip ko lang na reason is kung kinahihiya nia ba ako. Hindi naman ako pangit tsaka decent naman work ko. Pero confident naman ako na wala syang iba. May ibang reason pa ba?

[simang]

^So anong sabi nya when you mentioned na sana ipakilala ka sa friends nya or isama ka sa lakad nya with friends?

Hmm wag mo munang isipin na kinakahiya ka nya. Ako kasi I'd personally understand kung hindi nya ako niyaya pag kasama nya friends nya, lalo na kung boys' night yun... Maybe he has his reasons the only way to know is ask him straight.

For now, stop overthinking things, and do your own thing na lang. Go out with your friends without asking him din. Basta do things without thinking na dapat gawin nya din sayo yun... Malabo pero sana nagets mo. Hehe.

[j.adore]

Same question, anong sabi niya? Why have you never asked him?

Matagal na kayo I think ok na to discuss these. You can try a joking approach or any light one if you're afraid of argument or what.

[marikit26]

He agreed lang pero never niya pang ginawa. Minsan, sinabi ko na rin sa kanya kung bakit parang wala pa akong kilala sa mga friends niya, ang natatandaan ko reaction niya is nagsmile lang sya. Syempre, hindi na ako nagfollow up ng joke or any statement. Parang nakikita ko sa kanya na wala siyang mabigay na reason.

Pag nagkukwento siya, hindi siya nagmemention ng name,common noun lang lagi ginagamit niya. Hindi ko na nga sila kilala by face, pati name nila hindi ko din alam.

We need to talk siguro,[textspeak!] mahaba habang usapan, busy kasi kaya madalang lang din magkita.

[Girltalker2]

^ sis, papano naging kayo kung wala kang kilala sa mga kakilala nya? Di mo naman siguro sya napulot kung saan saan lang di ba?

[marikit26]

Pinakilala siya nung friend ko. Pag lumalabas naman kami in a group, mga friends and/or relatives ko yung madalas naming kasama.

[slickchick]

^ sis, ka-close mo ba yung friend mo na nagpakilala sa inyo? if yes, have you checked with that friend kung ano ang relationship history ni bf mo? medyo nakakapagtaka lang kasi na kahit names wala sya mabanggit kapag nag-uusap or nagki-kwentuhan kayo..

[simang]

^same question sis. Yung common friend nyo, kilala nya ba yung ibang friends ng bf mo? How about family nya, nakilala mo na ba sila? Yung paglabas labas na hindi ka niyayaya, i'd understand kasi lalaki yan. But yun never nagbanggit ng pangalan, or nagkwento about any of his friends, parang imposible considering na medyo matagal na din kayo.

What else do you not know about him?

First few months namin ng partner ko wala din akong nakilala right away sa friends nya. Same story din tayo, we were introduced by a common friend. I guess he was making kwento about me to his other friends kasi one by one they started adding me on facebook kahit di pa nila ko nameet personally. And nung first time ko sila mameet ng personal (around 1 yr++ into the relationship, sa wedding ng common friend namin who introduced us), he was more than proud to introduce me to everyone. Mas nagets ko nun why i didnt meet any of them earlier kasi maybe he was waiting for the right timing din.

So maybe your partner is waiting din for the right time, although medyo weird kasi nga matagal na kayo... If it's really bothering you just tell him straight how you feel about it.

[marikit26]

Actually mga sis, kilala ko naman family niya and some of his relatives. I think nababanggit naman niya ako sa mga friends niya kasi kapag  co-incidence na nagkita sila sa mall na kasama niya ako, they know me naman by name kahit papaano. And parang wala pa talaga akong nakilala sa mga friends niya,formally. Lagi na lang kapag nakakasalubong lang sa mall or sa daanan, konting pagpapakilala lang kaya nga kahit name nila hindi ko na matandaan and also their faces. Yung concern ko lang, He never invited me na sumali sa circle of friends niya kapag lumalabas sila,considering na hindi naman all boys yung group nila. Bakit ko nalalaman na may kasama silang girl, kasi siya mismo kinukwento niya, yun nga lang wala talagang pangalan. Sino ba naman gf ang ayaw makilala yung mga friends ng bf niya diba?

[baliwsayo]

I know most girls nagiging crazy in love, most ha, not all. Yun tipong intense masyado, sa guy na lang umiikot ang mundo (please don't take this in an extreme negative way, siyempre productive pa din naman dapat).

Anyway, just curious, nangyayari din ba to sa guys? If in case nangyayari talaga, paano dapat gawin ng girl para di mawala yun ganun feeling nun guy towards her?

[three8one]

@marikit26

usually ang mga boys napapakilala nila ang gf nila sa mga friends or relatives pag may mga special events,gathering,celebrations na inaattendan. that is the time kasi nagkakasama sama yung mga magkakaibigan together with their respective partners. that is the time din na parang kung new ka sa group welcoming na din yun para sayo.

sa case mo kung inabot na kayo ng ilang taon sa relationship nyo at ni minsan di ka pa nya naisasama sa mga gathering na pinupuntahan ng bf mo kasama mga friends nya magtaka ka na o kaya naman kung makasama ka man medjo tahimik yung mga friends nya or selective lang yung mga questions at jokes nila sayo sigurado may tinatago yan.

[dismembered]

I know most girls nagiging crazy in love, most ha, not all. Yun tipong intense masyado, sa guy na lang umiikot ang mundo (please don't take this in an extreme negative way, siyempre productive pa din naman dapat).

Anyway, just curious, nangyayari din ba to sa guys? If in case nangyayari talaga, paano dapat gawin ng girl para di mawala yun ganun feeling nun guy towards her?

Nangyayari din naman. Happened to me. Kahit BF/GF pa lang, ni-set ko na sa isip ko sya mapapangasawa ko. So todo effort at todo pikit din ng mata sa mga bagay bagay. Parang high school love lang... Feeling ko nasa telenovela ako. Every moment namin parang may background music sa isip ko. Tinatago ko anything na related about her. Candy wrapper, letter, petals, handkerchief etc. Masyadong memorable sa mga special dates. Kahit 1st time nagholding hands alam ang date. Gumagawa ng photo diary etc. All I could say is too emotional at most of the time nagiging cloudy ang judgment dahil sa emotions.

Pero, katulad ng mga kadalasang nangyayari, kapag hindi equal ang level ng craziness nyo sa isa't isa, dun nagsisimula ang problema. Nagiging matampuhin at nagiging martyr kahit hindi naman need magpaka martyr. Paulit ulit ang cycle. In the end, kung sino ang mas crazy in love, sya ang nasasaktan sa huli. And that made me conclude na sa lalake, ok lang ma-in love, pero dapat hindi crazy. As men, dapat hindi cloudy ang decisions because of emotions.