^totally agree
27 y.o, going 4 years with bf this August - Not yet ready.
wala naman issue re infidelity, sure naman ako dun,. Very vocal naman si bf na ako gusto nya makatuluyan. Pero need pa ipon; support family ganon.
We had a long engagement kasi nag ipon din kami. We waited. Nung araw nga, atat na atat na si ex magpakasal, kasi di naman uso nun ang pre-marital sex. Nung kinasal na kami after 10 yrs or so, stable na kami. With a house and a car before ako nanganak sa first child namin.
Little did we know na mawawala rin sa lahat.
Simply because I don't think we knew what we were getting into. Hindi namin pinansin ang incompatibility.
sa infidelity - hindi ko alam ~ feeling ko naman, hindi porket na-delay ang marriage eh cheat-proof na din to.
I agree. Walang guarantee on this. I think nasa sa lalaki. Pero bilang GF, syempre di naman tayo magpapakasal kung alam natin may tendency. Yung ex hubby ko nga, nung BF/GF pa kami, sabi ng friends ko super swerte ko daw at loyal sakin for the longest time. Di daw nambabae at very straight. Kaya ano pa nga raw ba inaantay ko.
Eh malay ko ba kung kelan kami ikasal tsaka sya magwawala nang ganun. Di lang isang kabit ha, maraming babae pa kamo. Through the years, kasi nga successful sya sa career nya, nakita ko yung lavish lifestyle nya that he always wanted. So dun sya nalapit sa tukso, alam mo naman satin, yung mga babaeng umaaligid, kumikinang ang mga mata once nakakita ng someone gwapo at naka sportscar.
and idk if superficial ba to, pero di rin ako marunong magluto, and hirap mag mag budget ganon, siguro yung mga bagay, once youre there na saka mo lang talaga matututunan (like sa pag budget)
Iyang mga errands na ganyan, matututunan mo naman. Yung pagbubudget, feeling ko kelangan mo matutunan kahit single ka pa.
Pero now that I am much older,
it is about handling relationships. Like, what if may ibang lalaki/babae nag aaligid sa isa sa inyo. How do you handle that?
Kapag ang sagot ninyo - ah di iyan mangyayari. Then brush it aside. Well, lahat ba ng bagong kasal iyan ang sagot? Kasi iyan din ang sagot ko before ako kinasal. Pero really, dapat kahit papano may idea ka what to do in these scenarios. Where do you as a couple draw the line in terms of being close to the opposite gender?
When do you give in and forgive and when do you say enough is enough? Lahat naman tayo nagpapakasal kasi we think he/she is the best partner para satin at willing tayo idedicate ang buhay natin for them. But the question is, over the years, walang guarantee na hindi kayo magbabago. Definitely, changes will happen. Kaso with all that changes, magka-complement kaya or magkasalungat? Will it draw you both closer to each other or farther apart? Kasi mukhang these days, 1 out of 10 nalang ang happy marriage. Ang daming nangangaliwa. Ang daming naghihiwalay. Ang daming nagtitiis. Anong klaseng buhay naman iyan.
In the future, yes. Maybe when I'm in my early-mid 30's though nafi-feel ko na yung pressure to bear a child because of my age.
I have a friend. She is now in her 40s. Di pa sya kasal, pero may BF sya. Her 4th BF. She just learned to accept na hindi dumating yung tamang guy for her in time para magkaanak sya. And I asked her if there are any regrets. Did she rather have a child per hiwalay or di ok ang pagsasama with hubby, or single and still looking for the one in her 40s. She said, di nya masabi. She just felt, his past BFs were never "the one". Kaya ok lang din. She thinks she will just settle down when she thinks he is the right guy.
So I there, it is also not a matter whether you are ready. Ang question din -
is your partner is the right guy for you, aside from him being ready. This is another whole new topic! Hay buhay, sobrang masalimuot.....
... lahat ng kabatch nya halos hiwalay na sa asawa and ang dahilan is infedelity sila daw yung mga sobrang kinikilig nung araw at mga against all the odds na kwento yung isa pa daw duon ay highschool sweethearts pero naghiwalay din
Exactly, HS sweethearts nga kami. Ever loyal nga daw. Tapos nung nag asawa kami, gosh, what happened? Kapag nag uusap nga kami ngayon, we both agreed na dapat di kami nagpakasal. We know now it was one of the wrong moves we made in life. Pero syempre huli na.
Sadly, hindi ito pinagiisipan normally ng mga taong ikakasal. Majority kasi, alam na expectation sa kanila ikasal. Tapos sa society, definition na successful ka sa buhay pag kinasal ka at magkapamilya etc. etc. Kaya pag nakahanap ng partner na feeling nila ok na, go na. During preps, masyado nakatutok sa wedding day pero wala masyado yung mental preps.
How much percentage of time does the bride- to-be and groom-to-be spend time in reflecting how life is gonna be once they get married? Or 90% of their time eh nakagugol sa meetings with the coordinator, preps, flowers, photographer, gowns, venues, etc?
1 hour seminar lang ata yung time nila para magreflect. That is, if they attend or even listen at all!
Iyang church seminar na iyan, they should prolong it for 1 year, with monthly reflections. At kelangan may result suggesting if the couple should WAIT or PROCEED with their marriage plans.
Based on what I've seen sa mga ibang broken couples, infidelity is not just about the sex. There's something missing, or may sobra, or di lang talaga compatible to start with (akala lang).
Aaah YES sis!
Looking back, my hubby and I were BOTH ineffective communicators. Again, ngayon ko lang narealize iyan nung hiwalay na kami. Kasi pansin ko nga nitong pag uusap namin lately, he brought up one topic na sabi nya di nya ma-accept sakin nung araw. Sabi ko duh!?! San nanggaling yun? Imaigne, we were married for over 10 years and yet never nya nasabi sakin effectively such that maintindihan ko.
Communication is important. Pero higit sa lahat, for it to be effective, such that naririnig dapat ng kabila ang kino-communicate nung isa. Otherwise, hindi sya uubra. So there, isa parin ito sa paghahanda para masabi you are ready for marriage -
How to be an effective communicator to your partner.
How to know you're ready? Ang dami din sa net 
Pwede silang gawin guides or watchouts. Kung may time sa social media, dapat may time din pag-aralan ito.
Yup! Ang tanong lang, do engaged couples find the time to internalize them - which is applicable and not?
Noong araw, time ko, di pa uso ang net. So may excuse pako haha. Pero ngayon, I hope people are wiser to make use of these tools. Hindi biro kasi ang pagpapakasal. Lalo pa sa Pinas na walang divorce.
I was once a bride-to-be. A very happy one. And nagkamali ako, everything went downhill after getting married. I wish no one will ever experience what I have gone through by being wiser.
Aside from compatibility and maturity, malaking factor yung personality. As in, kilalang kilala niyo ba yung fiances niyo?
Isa pa ito. Akala namin kilalang kilala na namin ang isa't isa. Pero hindi pala. So paano? Paano mo ba makikilala nang husto ang mapapangasawa mo?
Huwag isara ang utak? Kasi normally pag inlove ka siguro, you always think your partner is your hero at di sya makagagawa ng masama. So does that mean, you try to test him, if he has the potential to cheat, to lie, to gamble, to be a drunkard, to womanize? How?
Then there's also finances. Can you afford to get married (wedding) and can you afford to be married (life after)?
Napakadaming nag-aaway dahil sa pera, dahil hindi sila pareho ng thinking kung paano ba maghandle o gumastos.
Hay naku. Samin pinaghandaan namin ang finances. Ipon kami and we can afford our wedding (and life after). But guess where the issue came about. Sa kamag anak nya. So, may factor din ang mga kamag anak and paano ninyo ihandle. Kung yung isa ba eh mas kakampi sa kamag anak nya kesa sa asawa nya?
But this is just a minor issue for us. Pero yes, this can be big in some couples.
