Extremes boyfriend

[ninsyninsyspider]

May possibility nga na bipolar but how can I tell him to have himself checked?

[ReservoirDogs]

^

I've taken my MA in Psych (not yet done with comps and thesis, but i digress, hehe), and honestly? I think you're bf is not suffering from bipolar disorder. Ang mga may bipolar disorder, may highs and lows. May manic state - meaning super active (may or may not be necessarily violent) but may mga times na super low (depressive state). If you're bf is suffering from bi-polar, you should see this pattern na  may highs and lows.  The other sis here who posted about an ex na may bi-polar yun talaga, makikita pa lang na bi-polar when her bf would cry when he didn't want her to go home. Pero based on your kwento, puro highs lang bf mo eh, hehe.

If I were to give my non-expert opinion, baka mas applicable pa ang borderline personality disorder (or maybe narcissistic personality disorder) sa kanya. Or maybe it's just a simple case of being a verbally abusive jerk (sorry).

Anyway, it's hard (and dangerous) to diagnose online. If you feel that he's suffering from personality disorder, he himself has to realize na he needs help. If you bring it up with him, sasabihin nyan, "di ako baliw" or something to that effect. Kaya dapat sya mismo makarealize na he needs help.

[aquacharly]

^yes, manic-depressive.
And tama ba na bi-polars  do not harm others, they harm themselves ...  kaya suicide prone.

yang madali mag blow-up in them face of dissenting opinion --  borderline disorder as in obsessive-compulsive???

[ReservoirDogs]

^

Sorry it's a bit OT, but Obsessive compulsive personality disorder is different from borderline personality disorder. People with borderline personality disorder, walang gray area sa kanila. White or black lang. To make it simple, ang may BPD parang "if you're not with me, you are against me." (that's just my non-expert interpretation).  BPD is the hardest one to diagnose kasi atypical ang symptoms and co-morbid sya with other personality disorders kaya hindi agad nadedetect.

This is one of the symptoms of people with BPD, lifted from DSM (the bible of psychologists and psychiatrists hehe) na applicable sa bf ni TS.

"Individuals with BPD frequently express inappropriate or intense anger or have difficulty controlling their anger. They may display extreme sarcasm, enduring bitterness, or verbal outbursts. The anger is often elicited when a caregiver or lover is seen as neglectful, withholding, uncaring or abandoning."

[aquacharly]

^IF BPD, if that is what the BF of TS has --  is that curable or, can it be controlled?
What's the usual protocol like?

Going back, tama ba na bi-polars harm only themselves (suicidal?) & not others?

Thanks!

[ReservoirDogs]

^

Most individuals with personality disorders show great improvement if they undergo therapeutic intervention. Ang BPD co-morbid sa mga mood disorders kaya it's a combination of prescribed drugs and therapy.

With re: to bipolar disorder, not necessarily.  10-15% ng complete suicide occurs sa mga individuals na may bipolar disorder I.  During the depressive state, andyan yung suicidal ideation. But still, it's always a case to case basis kasi merong ibang cases (like yung case na hinwakan ng prof ko, in which nag-RA ako) na nagiging violent yung bi-polar sa ibang tao, especially during their manic state.

Edited to add: if the TS suspects that the bf has a personality disorder, the guy has to consult a psychologist. They'll give him a series of tests, then interview, then behavioral observation, before they can diagnose him properly.

[sarah29]

I think we need stop diagnosing the guy lol. Unless we are licensed psychologist, then we cannot make that judgement, especially since kilala lang naten sya through the TS' description.

[ReservoirDogs]

^

As i reiterated above, it's hard AND dangerous to diagnose online kaya hindi pwedeng sabihing bi-polar or whatever yung guy hangga't di naman napapatingin sa psychologist yun.

[simang]

Whatever medical condition this guy has, it's not healthy for sis TS, so i'll stand by my advice, find a healthier guy.

[baliwsayo]

Verbally abusive siya sis. Imagine mo na lang kung asawa mo na siya. No way to handle the kind but just accept that he is like and don't take it personally. If you can't accept then just leave him.

[sarah29]

Exactly. Find a healthier guy. Things will only get worse. Lalo na kung makasal nga tayo.

[ninsyninsyspider]

Now he’s mad again at me but this time, I’ll try na gawin na yung tips sa akin ng mga GT sisses. I will not apologize for anything.

Petty thing lang naman, I was asking him kung nakaalis na siya sa house to work bilang almost 9am na (and ang pasok niya is 8am) and usual time ng alis niya is 8.30 am. So I asked him pero no reply, and then I asked him again.

Me: Have you left home na?
*no reply after 15 minutes*
Me: Baby?

Ang reply ay kung minamadali ko daw ba siya. So sabi ko, “no I was just checking on you” and then galit na siya, major deadma sa akin.

So deadma nalang din ako, let’s see how will this end.

[sarah29]

Sobrang OA nya sis. Grabe ha. Tama yan.. wag mo na pansinin.

[simang]

Sis balitaan mo kame what happens.

Ulitin ko yung pinost ko last time..

"Stop asking yourself if he really loves you. Instead, try something different. Instead of asking how true his love for you is, just ask yourself if the love he’s shown you thus far is the kind of love you want for the rest of your life. If it isn’t, then stop trying to explain to him or to anyone else why he just won’t do, and instead just leave him."

Sige he loves you and all pero kaya mo ba mag put up with his tantrums for the rest of your life? If you know in your heart you deserve better?

[ninsyninsyspider]

Hello sisses! Imagine yung kinagalit niya kahapon, galit parin siya until today.

I told him straight na if meron siyang hindi gusto, pwede naman niyang sabihin instead na magalit siya agad. Hindi naman lahat ng mangyayari is expected niya hindi siya maddisappoint. Sana alam niya yun, and it does not apply only to me. Pati naman sa buhay, ganun yun.

Tantrums and ako palaging mali.

I know the best thing to do is to leave him, but honestly I don't know why can't I. Siguro aside sa mahal ko, ayoko na sa akin manggaling. I know din naman na kaya ko kasi before when he broke up with me, parang nakaya ko naman.

[sugardrop]

You can. You just choose not to. But if you say you really can't, then just deal with his tantrums and don't complain anymore. Just sayin'....

[ninsyninsyspider]

I'll talk to him later, I found out kasi na lumabas pala siya last night kahit he knew na nagluto (hindi ako domesticated, so you can just imagine the effort) ako ng dinner.

Masyado nang madaming respect na hindi binigay sa akin.

I think na reach ko na my limit. To think birthday dinner yun ng babae na pinagseselosan ko.

[slickchick]

^ naku sis.. i don't want to play devil's advocate ah.. but were you aware na may lakad siya last night (the dinner hosted by the girl na pinagselosan mo)? or did he choose to hide it from you and napilitan na lang sya sabihin ngayon dahil cornered na sya? if ngayon mo lang nalaman na may lakad pala sya kagabi.. then i think it's warning signal.. transparency and open communication is vital in any relationship... just saying.. 

[Observer54]

from a guy's point of view let me just go to the direction na hindi gaano nakikita ng iba.
pero let me warn you there is a big chance na mali ako. ill give you my honest opinion.
some guys pag naffall out of love (im not sure kung ganito din sa girl) or may babae madalas iritable sila doon sa girl na ayaw na nila. konting mali or kahit anong gawin ng girl bibigyan nya ng maling impression. all i can suggest is have a heart to heart talk and be prepared.

[evilwoman]

^naisip ko din yan pero intindi ko kasi simula pa lang ganyan na ugali ng bf nya or baka naman hindi lang sya ganun kamahal ng bf?tipong mahal kita kasi ikaw ang nandyan so kahit papano may attachment na din sa tagal ng pinagsamahan?