Still Childless

[mrsonthego]

^No, you are not rude or harsh, what you said is the most intelligent opinion I heard about having children. I just wish that all people have the same thinking as you.

[nicoletta]

People have different opinions about this topic, and yours is just as acceptable.  I hope to have a child too, I'm nearing 35 so I'm a bit in a hurry.

[irish_pearl]

I know God will give it in the right time but sometimes I can't help being depressed. I hope my hubby and I will still have more patience esp. on older people making unsupportive comments 

[gt76]

My uncle and auntie has been married for 37 years. And they don't have any kids. Nothing is wrong with them naman daw sabi ng doctor, they kept trying until they just learned to live with it nalang. My husband and I have been together for 2 years and still no kids. If by the time we are 35 and no kids yet, we're 27 now, then we're going to try IVF. I don't want to have kids, honestly, I think it's selfish that you want kids just because you are married and want to complete you're little family. You're bringing life to this world just to satisfy your role, like in the end, it's all about you, that you bore a child, that you gave birth. Not a lot of people gets it, understands the way I think, you may think I am harsh or rude but it's what I believe in.

There's nothing wrong if you don't want to have children. Me too i would be fine if i will be able to conceive a child or not, come what may.

[lilsweetangel]

Been reading your posts sisters (and brothers) and i cant help but be moved and remember the time i was also in your position. i felt like hannah in the bible, crying and storming the Heavens for us. i'll be praying for you sisters who have been waiting for answered prayers. let's not stop praying as the Lord will eventually say yes to our persistence. Kame we really felt the prayers of our community friends and novena to St. Gerard.

[onlineshoppingmissy]

Hi,
Almost 14 years na kaming married ng hubby ko pero wala pa din kaming anak. We never go hardcore sa pagpapagamot though i had my tubes checked and all the other tests, sabi naman sa kin ok pero suspected din ako ng PCOS. Dati lagi akong tinatanong ni hubby kung magkakaproblema ba kami sa relationship if wala kaming anak? I feel na my hubby doesn't want to have kids though pag dumating ok lang which is why never kami nagIUI or IVF.

Pag naiisip ko na tumatanda na kami, and we are running out of time, minsan nalulungkot din ako pero naiisip ko din hindi lahat ng may anak may masayang pamilya. I am so blessed having a partner like my husband. Masaya kami, naglalambingan pa din kahit matagal na kaming magkasama, walang major issue/drama sa buhay. So i focus on that. Sabi nga nila focus on the blessings para mas madaling tanggaping ang heartbreaks. Maybe this is our cross but our love for each other makes it an easy cross to carry.

[izabelle]

It took us more than a year to conceived.. actually we are not super concern about having a baby naman, kung baga sa amin, kung ibigay salamat, kung hindi ok lang.

I have this mind set na nagpakasal ako dahil mahal ko ang asawa ko hindi dahil gusto ko mag kaanak... So i'll always stick to that belief.

I got pregnant and it is unexpected but very much welcome.. I always say before na its perfectly fine even if hindi kami mag kaanak, masaya pa din kami kahit walang anak.. Well that holds true until now, but iba pala talaga ang feeling kapag may anak, the happiness is priceless.

I always believe that everything has its own perfect time. Kung para sa atin, para talaga sa atin, gasgas kung gasgas ang kasabihan na ito pero sobrang totoo.. Mas masarap sa feeling din na napag handaan mo lahat bago dumating ang baby kasi your whole life will really changed and even you as a person will change.

It will come sis in HIS most perfect time believe me..

[neraks]

Hello mga sis kami ng husband ko 15 yrs ng magasawa and im already 37yrs old and still wala pa ring anak.ayaw ko ng pa pressure sa mga tao ang importante kaming magasawa. Last dec 2011 i got pregnat,di ko alam na buntis na pala ako buti na lang nagpatingin ako sa oby ko sabi ko delayed ako pero kasi irregular naman ako kaya parang normal lang sa akin na di datnan pero sakit at bigat kasi ng boobs ko parang pag magmemens ka ayun buntis nga ako 2months na. Grabe di ako makapaniwala tinawagan ko agad asawa ko na shock siya and lahat ng kamaganak ko super tuwa. Pero ayun nga panandalian lang din yun kasi nakunan ako,para akong binagsakan ng mundo. Feeling ko pinaasam at pinaasa lang ako,grabe lahat ginawa ko complete bed rest sa kama na ko nakatira. Sabi ko sa baby ko kapit lang siya kasi lalaban ako kahit mahirap basta mabuhay lang siya. Pero ayun nawala pa rin siya,nahirapan ako mag move on pero kailangan eh ganun talaga till now masakit pa rin pero alam ko lahat tayo magkakaron basta wag lang tayo susuko.

[lisse]

^sorry to hear that sis. Sensitive din ako sa mga sad news na ganyan, but I love your positivity. Yes, we shouldn't lose hope. Malay natin, diba?

[mrsonthego]

Hello mga sis kami ng husband ko 15 yrs ng magasawa and im already 37yrs old and still wala pa ring anak.ayaw ko ng pa pressure sa mga tao ang importante kaming magasawa. Last dec 2011 i got pregnat,di ko alam na buntis na pala ako buti na lang nagpatingin ako sa oby ko sabi ko delayed ako pero kasi irregular naman ako kaya parang normal lang sa akin na di datnan pero sakit at bigat kasi ng boobs ko parang pag magmemens ka ayun buntis nga ako 2months na. Grabe di ako makapaniwala tinawagan ko agad asawa ko na shock siya and lahat ng kamaganak ko super tuwa. Pero ayun nga panandalian lang din yun kasi nakunan ako,para akong binagsakan ng mundo. Feeling ko pinaasam at pinaasa lang ako,grabe lahat ginawa ko complete bed rest sa kama na ko nakatira. Sabi ko sa baby ko kapit lang siya kasi lalaban ako kahit mahirap basta mabuhay lang siya. Pero ayun nawala pa rin siya,nahirapan ako mag move on pero kailangan eh ganun talaga till now masakit pa rin pero alam ko lahat tayo magkakaron basta wag lang tayo susuko.

Sis naiiyak ako habang binabasa ko ang post mo, pero ganun talaga, we have to be strong kahit ganyan ang nangyari sayo. Tama ka wag susuko. Ako tanggap ko na dumating man si baby o hindi, iniisip ko na lang kasama ni Lord ang baby ko di ko man siya nahawakan... basta wag tayo magagalit kay Lord o magdadamdam, mahirap intindihan pero let us keep our faith in God na He just wants what's best for us.

[neraks]

Kay GOD lang ako kumapit kasi siya lang talaga ang may sagot sa lahat. Until now lalo na ngayon dec na naman bigla na lang tumutulo ang luha ko kasi naaalala ko siya dapat mahigit one year old na siya. Pero i know may plano ai God sa atin,tinitingnan nya u faith at patience natin. Alam kong mahirap pero wag na tayo magpaapekto sa mga negative comments.

[margeL]

Reading through your posts make me feel happy and sad at the same time. Congrats sa mga nabiyayaan na ng mga babies, and keep praying for those na wala pa. Siguro makikiiyak na rin ako dito kase I can't tell my husband how depressed I am and how much it hurts knowing na hindi ka buntis. Kase mismong my husband tingin ko hindi interesadong magkaanak. Whether takot Sya sa additional responsibilities or contented na Sya sa dami ng mga pamangkin nya or Ayaw lang nyang magkaanak sa akin, I don't know.  So parang ako lang ang nagwwork ng pagbubuntis ko. Sana uso pa ngayon ang immaculate conception Ano? Ansaya ko na siguro nun! Kaya lang hindi eh. So tiis lang muna akong umiyak mag-isa dito and just hope and pray na magmilagro Si Lord at magkainterest ang asawa ko na magkaanak kame.

[sprinkles.mcwoozey]

Sisters, I feel your pain. I've been through this broken road before and support group such as this has been really helpful.

Four years kaming childless and I'm battling through infertility. Ang advice ko lang is, don't force your partner to adopt a child. Kasi sa case ko, I find it insulting everytime binibring up ng husband ko yung topic ng child adoption. Kasi "ako" yung mag pagkukulang or diperensya kaya wala pa ring baby.

I ended up very resentful sa mga bata. Sis, let the feeling of depression go. The moment na ginawa ko yon, nabuntis ako the following menstrual cycle. Both you and your partner should be in that state na, contented and happy kayo with what you have now and hindi ninyo hinahanap yung kulang. I'm sure it's a cruel formula, but it works. Fate gives us what we desire most the moment we give up on it.

Ang therapy naming dalawa ay nag alaga kami ng dogs. Nasatisfy yung need ni hubby na "mag alaga ng anak" at the same time nakatulong ng malaki sa akin na madivert yung attention ko.

Maraming pregnancies akong nabalitaang nangyari dahil nag alaga sila ng pets, parang nacultivate yung parent instinct and encouraged their reproductive system to function. Sana makatulong ito sa iyo.

Don't lose hope :] I'm a living testament that nothing is impossible :]

[ghee.lucky]

Nakakaiyak and very inspiring yung mga nabasa ko. Me either want to have a baby pero kontrol pa muna since di pa kami financially stable. Hold on tight and keep the faith sisses. there's always a reason why the babies is not yet arrived baka na-traffic lang, wait nyo lang, di nyo mamamalayan dumating na pala. Dont forget to pray and be thankful everyday.

[Ms.Cacao70%]

I've been through this road before, did not conceive for 4 years, had to undergo surgery because of ovarian cyst and endometriosis, cried buckets of tears, until finally God gave me my little girl who was born at 28 weeks. she's now 7 yr old healthy and happy kid. I experienced miscarriage before God gave me another blessing. I was able to get pregnant again last 2012 and had another preemie miracle, a beautiful little boy. yes, both my babies were premature and spent months in the hospital just to survive. That's my TTC story.

I'll never forget how it feels to long for a child, how it feels to be pressured, to feel incapable, ridiculed and told that its my fault why we cant get pregnant. It came to a point that I don't even care anymore. I'm confused with needing to have a child and pleasing people around me. It's a very long hard journey but every tear was worth it. Now every time I look at my children, I thank God how lucky I am. And because of that, I can never judge another woman who can't get pregnant or doesn't want to be pregnant at all. I can totally relate to them. I've been there. I sincerely wish you all the happiness with or without a child 

[chedz.03]

I can relate to most of the stories here. 3Yrs & 5mos. Married but still childless. Both hubby and I are working abroad kanya less stress dahil wala masyado tanong ng tanong bakit wala pa.

Kapag nagbabakasyon kami as much as possible ayoko napupunta ang usapan samin ng husband ko dahil sigurado maitatanong kung bakit wala pa kami anak. pero hindi talaga maiiwasan marami insensitive na tao. Natutunan ko nalang magmukha na di affected pero pag mag isa nalang ako dun ko nararamdaman yung pain. Ang sakit sakit kasi kahit ako sa sarili ko tinatanong ko bakit wala pa kami baby, bakit ako may PCOS. Bakit kailangan ko pagdaanan yung ganitong emotional pain.

But then, after mailabas ko yung sama ng loob naiisip ko ulit na hindi naman kami papabayaan Ni Lord. In His own time, ibibigay Nya yung gift na talagang hinihiling namin sa Kanya.

Lagi ko din naiisip na sana hindi mapagod ang asawa ko sa paghihintay at pagmamahal sakin kahit wala pa si baby. Na hindi nya maisip na may kulang sa relasyon namin dahil wala pa kaming anak.

Kapag sinasabi ko sa kanya na mabuti pa si ganon si ganyan nabuntis na, sinasabi lang nya sakin na ganun daw talaga may kanya kanyang oras ang pagbibigay Ni Lord ng bawat hiling natin.

Last check up ko walang nakita na PCOS sakin, hindi ako makapaniwala na i even said na baka nagkamali lang yung nag ultrasound. Nag take din ako ng clomiphene last month and followed my OB's schedule para mag make love ni hubby pero AF came too early kaya ayun sad pero try padin this month.

Kapit lang mga sis. Like what I posted sa thread ng GT's TTC page in FB, "The pain you are feeling, can't compare to the joy that's coming" from Romans 8:18.

[lisse]

Very inspiring!

A couple of months ago, dumating ako sa point na tanggap ko na na wala kaming baby. Then nung manganak yung cousin, first apo ng mga parents namin and first apo sa tuhod ni lola, ayun na. Ako na naman ang nakita nila. Ang layo-layo ko na nga sa kanila, nagagawa pa rin nilang intrigahin ako. Nag-offline forever na lang ako sa mga chats. Pero since freakin' FB have this capability na makita ng message sender na nabasa na yung message eh obligado akong magreply out of kagandahang asal. I always say bahala na si Lord samin. Until it came to a point na feel na feel ko na yung statement na yon, na talagang pinapa-sa-Diyos ko na ang lahat. NGayon if they ask me hindi na ganon kasakit. Pero I am sad kasi minsan nagiging cause na namin siya ng away naming mag-asawa. LDR pa mandin kami.

[quennna]

welcome to the club!!
been married for 6 yrs na.. 10 yrs as bf-gf..
turning 40 this year year..
pero so far, thankful ako whether magkaanak or not..
mahirap pangunahan ang Dyos.. mamya, sa kakapilit ko.. magkababy man kami, di naman normal mapunta sa amin.. so hintay hintay lang talaga..
kung meron thank you, kung wala thank you pa rin..
pero so far, di pa naman ako nakaramdam ng sadness, bitterness, envy, depression..

though, malapit talaga ako sa mga bata.. pag nakakakita ako ng cute na baby.. wala lang natutuwa lang ako.. remind ko lang si God na..  'God cute ng baby oh' pero no hurt feeling.. i think its all in the mindset..

sa mga taong nagtatanong kung baket wala pa..
ang sinasabi ko lang is 'nakaorder na ako baby, bukas darating' hehe..

[justin3]

guy here. pasensya na kung nakisawsaw ako dito. please, wag nyo naman akong batuhin.
i don't have kids of my own pero ako'y isang ulirang tiyo/lolo sa aking mga pamangkin/apo.
wag na wag nyo lang ako utusan magpalit ng diaper.

napadpad lang kasi ako sa thread na to: http://www.femalenetwork.com/girltalk/index.php/topic,258822.0.html
...at sadyang makabagbag-damdamin ang mga kwento ng ilang kapatid natin dito.


nakakalungkot lang malaman na kung sino pa ang walang kakayanan at walang karapatang maging magulang, sila pa yung masipag nagpaparami at nagkakalat ng kanilang lahi.
samantalang heto, dito lang sa Barangay GT, ang daming mag-asawa na karapat-dapat maging magulang pero hindi man lang mabiyayaan ng kahit na isang supling.

mmm, baka sadyang itinadhana ng Panginoon na hindi kayo mabiyayaan ng sarili nyong supling. let's face it, VERY risky na rin talaga mabuntis lalo pag nasa 30s na.  baka may ibang misyon Sya para sa yo.
NO need to "really" adopt a child. ang alam ko may program ang DSWD at mga orphanages. yung parang kayo ang maging foster parents muna while hinihintay ang pag-adopt ng bata. sa ganung paraan, maisakatuparan nyo kung paano ang maging isang magulang, at malalaman nyo rin kung karapat-dapat nga ba kayo maging isang "ina".
aba, malay nyo, pag nakita ng inyong mga esposo na masaya kayo sa ginagawa nyo, baka magbago rin ang isip nila. 


by the way, we all know that the likes of  Angelina Jolie, Madonna, Nicole Kidman and Oprah have adopted children... nagulat lang ako na si "What is the essence of being a woman", Miss U 1994, Sushmita Sen, eh, childless rin pala at 38? kasama yung mga pinag-papantasyahan ko dati na sina Charlize Theron at Katherine Heigl?... and they have adopted kids ha?

[mrsonthego]

^kakatuwa ka naman kuya, talaga si Sushmita Sen hmmm. mag google nga