Still Childless

[juriel02]

Good pm mga sis, makikisali and share my story hope makabigay ako ng hope...

Been bf-gf for 4 years since college years, classmate kami ni hubby, 1 year kami nagsama before kami nagpakasal nakitira kami sa sister nya since parehas kami nagwork s place ng ate nya. Year 2005, me and hubby got married. After 1 year of marriage d ako nabuntis but hubby's work need him to be away every 5 weeks offshore kaya mahirap talaga chance mabuntis, we ask for help thru OB-1. Confirm PCOS with endometriosis....  Since wala n [textspeak!] hubby we waited again after 1 year d parin, so ask for another opinion Of regular OB, we tried IUI for 3 times but d pa rin, after 2 years wala p rin, ask an infertility OB tried 4 IUI, wala pa rin, hubby is low sperm count. So parang wala talaga... Every time makita ng bunts maiinis ka na Lang, every time na magPT k negative ang lalaban... May time talaga n sa sobranG sakit because your hoping n positive n pero Hindi... We are praying so hard.... As in dumating [textspeak!] time n nagalit talaga ako Kay God na I put back the crucifix in the box dahil d Nya nman pinapakinggan yung prayers mo... Alam kong masama pero dumating talaga s point n yun. Ayaw ko pa nga dumaan sa mga baby staff kapag nagmamall.... Ganun talaga ka Sakit sa akin.... And the pressure of the relatives pa.... And worst kinasal ang brother ni hubby, sa Amin kasi sila nakatira, after 1 month buntis agad yung asawa Nya... So another envy n [textspeak!] s akin yun.... Cry to the max n [textspeak!]...

After 7 years of waiting... Since d namn tayo bumabata.. I'm 30 yrs and hubby is 32 we decide n mag IVF. But before that we prepare ourselves... Hubby went thru exercise, healthy living, since hubby doesn't have vices he just stop drinking coffee, for me namn to prepare, I just relax... D ko inisip ang pressure kasi the more n isipin mo the more k maprepressure... I do restorative yoga to relax and vinyasa flow para makaloose din ng weight.... Pray To St. Pio every night... And when the day of start for IvF, I know I we are prepared...

I underwent lots of trials in this journey, since PCOS, I underwent laparoscopy to clear up my endometriosis... Have to inject everyday para Lang mag fertile, then after IVF, hinay hinay s galaw and waited for 2 weeks to confirm... Thank GOd I got pregnant.. BUt sad to say, I'm also APAS positive so I have to inject heparin twice a day until 5 months, also I'm GDM so I have to inject also insulin. So s isang araw I have to inject 3x a day all sa tummy and by yourself kasi wala lagi si hubby because of work...
At 5 months we discovered I have placenta previa totalis and I had a bleeding episode, I was advise to havea total bedrest. At have to be confine every time I had bleeding episode, until 7 months, I had a bleeding and they cannot stop, and I have to undergo emergency CS.... Kaya by 7 months nanganak n me... Baby have to be in incubator for 2 months coz she is only 986g.... It is really hurt to see your child like that in her condition maraming nakakabit...

So mga sis... I know laging naririnig natin na IN GOD's TIME pero talagang totoo kahit na humingi p tayo ng tulong s science kung Hindi pa panahon Hindi talaga mangyayari until it is time. Basta wag Lang mawalan ng pag-Asa and pananalig. Ibibigay din Nya at darting sa atin. As of now enjoy each others company and wag paapekto s pressure. If need ng science go for it at least nasabi mo s sarili mo we did everything... It will come in you s panahon n di mo inaasahan.

[mrsonthego]

^ I hope your baby is okay.

[red_one]

sis juriel02, naiiyak ako sa kwento mo. actually isa rin yan sa mga fears ko, yung ipipilit na magkababy by help of science. natatakot ako na magkaron ng kung [textspeak!]-anong defects ang magiging baby ko. at hindi ko kaya yun. kaya kung hindi talaga para sa aming mag-asawa ang magka-anak sa ngayon,hindi namin ipipilit. pero we tried work-up na rin before pero we failed kaya relax relax muna kami. hopefully next year pag may budget na, i-ta-try uli namin, pero pag nag-fail uli siguro stop na talaga. im praying na sana maging ok baby mo.
pero i have a highschool classmate na nahirapan ding mabuntis then nung nabuntis premature yung baby, 2mos daw sa incubator. super iyak nga daw sya ng iyak kasi naawa sya sa baby nya. pero ngayon, i think 5 or 6yrs old yung anak nya. and healthy naman. so sis i hope everything will be okay. Godbless!

sis carylldax, nakakarelate din ako sayo. kasi yung cousin ni hubby after 8 years of marriage eh ngaun may baby na. naiinis ako na natutuwa ako at higit sa lahat naiingit ako. tapos kukunin pa daw nya akong ninang ng baby nya. gusto ko nga sana sabihin kay hubby "pede bang tumanggi?" hehe. kaso nakakahiya naman. for sure di nila maiintindihan reason ko. basta naiingit ako.

[lisse]

this latest bakasyon ni hubby, out of the blue bigla na lang niya sinabi na we will go to a doc end of this year. mas mahaba kasi RnR niya. hindi ko ino-open yung topic pero natuwa naman ako kasi I thought ako lang may gusto since hindi vocal si hubby about this. hopefully it all works out. financially, physically and emotionally.

[Carylldax]

red_one

Hi sis! Ako nga natatakot  tumanggi sa binyag as ninang. Bad luck daw yun, pano yun? Hay naku lord, bigyan mu na kami ng health baby lord. Wawa naman kami eh.

[red_one]

^actually di pa naman ako tumatanggi and never pa rin ako tumanggi sa mga kumukuha sakin as ninang kasi yun nga bad luck daw. pero sana magkaron ako ng reason para di ako maka-attend. kasi naman for sure ang pagdating namin dun ang salubong ng relatives ni hubby, "oh yung pinsan mo may baby na, bakit ko wala pa?" and the topic pag nagkwentuhan ay about sa pagbubuntis nya etc, etc etc.   napipikon na kasi ako eh. ayoko sila patulan kaya gusto ko umiwas nalang. diko naman ginusto na maging PCOS ako eh. 

[juriel02]

Thanks mga sis.... Baby is now ok she's 7 months now and talagang pag inisip nmin we've been through magkababy lang and pinagdaanan ni baby... Miracles do happen talaga.. Just believe and pray...

Sis red_one napagdaanan ko lahat yan... Naku! Laging tanong sau wala p rin ba? Tagal naman... Si ganyan buntis na nauna ka pang kinasal dun ah..... Hina naman nyo... To the point sinabihan ka pa na bago ka ba?  D ba sarap sampalin... Kaya ang sinasabi ko n  lang wala pa e, Kung darting darating... Inienjoy pa namin ang isa't isa e. at least nakakatravel kami Kung San namin gusto, kayo nagawa nyo ba yun nun? Di b sarcastic? At least alam nila nakakafoul at tatahimik na Lang sila...

Just enjoy each other company... Pag may baby na di nyo na magagawa yan kasi you have to prioritize your kids...

[aspen11]

Hi sis lisse! I have a very close friend in a similar situation. After years of marriage, ngayon lang sila naging pregnant. Noon kasi lahat ng mga tao nag-aabang na mabuntis sila and napre-pressure na sila. The time that they stopped thinking what others were thinking, dun sila naka-bingo.

I pray and I believe na masagot na ni Lord ang panalangin mo.  Sabi nga nila, in God's perfect time!

[sweetbabycakes]

Since I am in the same boat, gusto ko lang makicommiserate and share, makapulot ng konting pag asa. In a lot of ways, my story mirrors a lot of yours: supportive husband, sucky relatives and friends, panibugho, crying jags, despair, depression and the like.

Story naman namin, ttc kami for 2yrs now. so far wala pa talaga. about a month after the wedding, nagheavy bleeding ako and it was discovered na may pcos pala ako. so nakakawalang pag asa. anyway, nagpa OB and was prescribed pills to regulate my period pero di ko nasunod. di pa kasi stable finances namin kaya di kami makapagcommit na magpawork up so depressed din ako kasi gusto ko na magkaanak, 33 na rin ako and may diabetes type 2 pa. triple whammy, on top of the pcos.

Tas ganun din, like in your stories, na laging ang tanong, wala pa ba? meron din akong former officemate na ang sabi, di raw kami magiging pamilya dahil kelangan me anak; mag asawa lang daw kami. sensitive no.

Dami rin beses nako umiyak, alone and sa hubby ko, qinuquestion ko na lahat, pati si God, kung bakit di kami bigyan kahit isa. kung ganun ba ako kasamang tao or ganun ba ka-grave mga kasalanan ko.

Ultimately we decided to just wait for it to happen. kung mangyayari hallelujah. kung inde, sorry na lang. pero di ko pa rin maiwasan na malungkot at mainggit. it came to a point that i resented my friends for getting pregnant left and right. ako na lang kasi ang walang anak sa aming magkakaibigan. mayrong walang asawa pero me kids. i unsubscribed to several friends' fb feeds kasi di ko makaya ang panibughong nararamdaman ko sa mga pinopost nila na updates sa pregnancies nila. anyway, natauhan lang ako nung yung mismong bestfriend ko na ang nabuntis and i didnt feel happy for her. narealize ko mali ito. so parang ang ginagawa ko na lang ngayon e pilit kong tinatanggap na baka ito nga ang lot in life ko, na i am not really meant to be a mom. ansakit ha naiiyak ako habang nagtatype ngayon, pero palagay ko acceptance is the only thing that may make the situation marginally bearable.

Gusto ko pa ring umasa pero natatakot akong mabigo e. tuwing mag PPT ako at negative parang may namamatay na part ng puso ko.

[petunia716]

In God's own sweet time talaga, we had our blessing after 11 years of marriage. as in we lost hope na talaga and accepted the fact na we will never have one, but it happened. I was 38  when i got pregnant and our daughter is already 4 years old now. we didn't undergo any work ups, was diagnosed with pcos too. so don't lose hope mga sisses

[mrsB]

^Wow! That's inspiring! Thanks for sharing, sis! 

[petunia716]

  yeah sis until now we still couldn't help but be awed by that wonderful miracle!

[miss resilient]

you are not alone in this sentiment..kami ng husband ko almost 9 years nang married still wala pa ring anak..

[mrsonthego]

In God's own sweet time talaga, we had our blessing after 11 years of marriage. as in we lost hope na talaga and accepted the fact na we will never have one, but it happened. I was 38  when i got pregnant and our daughter is already 4 years old now. we didn't undergo any work ups, was diagnosed with pcos too. so don't lose hope mga sisses

gusto kong maiyak, thank you sis for the inspiration!

[lisse]

My 19-year old niece who got knocked up by her bum ex, is now on the way to the hospital to give birth. My MIL called me at 6AM just to tell me about it. I don't know how I managed to say the right things to say, but I told them I have work so I can't be there. Naiiyak na naman ako.

[lisse]

Pano ba maging masaya para sa iba kung ang kaligayahan nila eh siyang nagbibigay sayo ng sakit sa kalooban? Kung ang nagpapasaya sa kanila is yung wala ka na kahit anong sikap ang gawin mo hindi mo din makukuha? Niece just gave birth, one cousin is pregnant after TTC for 3 years and another have baby no. 2 on the way. Nagkamali-mali tuloy ako sa work ko. Ang hirap ng wala kang masabihan, wala kang maiyakan. Yung tipong sa inyong mag-asawa, ikaw ang dapat maging strong sa harap ng ganitong sitwasyon kasi alam mong bibigay din yung isa pag ikaw mismo nakita niyang bumigay na.

[jeune]

^
Let go and let God sis. I know it's hard but there's nothing we can do if it's not our time yet. Just yesterday I got a message from my kumare in Cali that she's having a baby again, I was happy for her. I also babysat my friend's 2 kids yesterday and it made me happy just seeing them. I just stay positive while going through this and I pray that it will pay off one of these days. At least we have more time to spend with our hubby  Smile and have a good day!

[mrsonthego]

^^mahirap talaga maging masaya sis, siguro normal na feeling yan nating mga gustong magka baby..

ako nga meron akong friends, mga moms na sila, bihira sila magpa ramdam sakin, as in once in a blue moon, siguro dahil ako na ang lumalayo sa kanila. all this time akala ko naiintindihan nila ako pero I was wrong kasi nagpaparamdam lang sila sakin - text or emails or FB message kapag may kiddie party, may nabuntis, may bibinyagan, may manganganak, - -- nakakasama ng loob yun diba

[aspen11]

^^Sis jeune, I really admire your positivity in spite of the situation. 

^Sis mrsonthego, close friends mo ba sila? Baka naman di sila nagpaparamdam kasi ikaw na ang lumalayo. 

[mrsonthego]

^ako na nga ang lumayo, just because all they talk about are baby things. as in mag te text lang sakin ng :

"nanganak na si ganito...

punta ka 1st birthday ni ganito...

buntis si ganito....

second baby ni ganito...

may teeth na si baby....


tama ba yun? sorry sensitive lang siguro talaga ako.