Long Distance Relationship, Does it even work?

[icequeen]

It does. I'm in an LDR relationship for almost 2 years and we're getting married when I go back to the Philippines this year.

[kwang sun]

mas mahirap yung ldr na hindi pa kayo nagme-meet.. parang kinakausap and  hangin.. there are times that you just wanna let go..

[cecilydee]

^In my case mas madali sakin yun na hindi ko pa sya nakikita kasi wala pa ako ganong expectation sa relationship namin.

But as soon as we met and sparks flew here and there and all of a sudden back to reality kayo kasi one of you has to go back...eto na ang pinaka masakit.

Like now, pansin ko madalas ako umiyak ngyon magisa compared nung di pa kami nagkikita. Ganon pala ang feeling   

[kwang sun]

^ atleast kayo nagkita sis diba.. atleast he proved to you that he's real.. sa dinami dami ng mga serial killer at mga weirdos sa internet iilan lang talaga yung totoo right? .. just look at the positive side that he spent time with you  ..

[yumipon]

LDR is not just hard. It is very hard. I've been there. What it gave me was tears. Haha. Yes there are good times. Pero talagang mas madaming iyak kasi eh. I was the one who really makes the effort. I would call him every night. Yun kasi yung time na hindi na sya masyadong busy eh. Nagkekwento ako always. To assure him na i'm okay, eventhough sometimes hindi na ako okay. Nakukulangan kasi ako sa effort nya eh. Feeling ko kasi nun ako lang ang may gusto na magkausap kami. Pero I only brought that up once. Hindi kasi naging maganda yung kinalabasan nung paguusap namin na yun. So instead of just complaining, nagchaga nlang ako. Months of sleepless nights yun girls. Pero yun nga. In the end, sya dun yung sumuko. You know what he said? Wala lang daw kasi syang mapapala sa akin. Dahil nasa malayo ako. And I was like, "wow ha! hiyang hiya naman ako sa effort mong hindi ko man lang naramdaman!" the nerve diba.

Pero anyways. LDR isn't just about the love. Dapat may matibay na foundation ang trust. Lots of patience. Understanding and effort. Hindi naman kailangan talaga ng bonggang bonggang effort eh. Most of the times, it's the little things that counts. Simpleng goodnight at iloveyou lang kahit alam na pagod na, for me that's the sweetest thing. Sing me a song through the phone? That makes every hard day worth it. Hindi naman hard to please ang mga babae eh.

Pero hindi porke hindi nagwork out sa iba ay hindi na din magwowork out para sayo. Malay mo nandun ang swerte mo diba? Just keep on loving. Don't let distance stop you.


Post modified. Please use the forum's default font.

[cecilydee]

^^sis, i never doubted his identity from the start pati passport nga nya alam ko pati credit card lol kasi ganon niya ako pinagkakatiwalaan. and ganon kami ka serious even though we are in an LDR.

^sis, that's why its very important to see his sincerity and dedication from the start, once you have settled that kahit di siya makatawag ng isang gabi sayo, you will forgive him kasi you know how dedicated he is to pursue you. important talaga ang ligawan phase to settle this issue. but i dont know your guy, he is probably not really ready to be in an LDR from the start..

[junepets]

for me, i think it will work.. if you have plans of being together..
kung temporary lang na LDR... then either one of you would stay here or kung nasan yun isa... it will work out..

pero kung wala plans for that... i guess... wala talaga mangyayari..

[kwang sun]

^^sis, i never doubted his identity from the start pati passport nga nya alam ko pati credit card lol kasi ganon niya ako pinagkakatiwalaan. and ganon kami ka serious even though we are in an LDR.

^sis, that's why its very important to see his sincerity and dedication from the start, once you have settled that kahit di siya makatawag ng isang gabi sayo, you will forgive him kasi you know how dedicated he is to pursue you. important talaga ang ligawan phase to settle this issue. but i dont know your guy, he is probably not really ready to be in an LDR from the start..

yea, I told him about my doubts and he told me na I could google him to prove to him na he's real siya pa nga yung mahilig mag share ng pictures ng buong pamilya niya lol , but I dunno , I can't stop myself from doubting kasi malayo nga siya diba

[cecilydee]

^sis mag iistop lang ang doubts mo when you meet him - sa public place sis ha. 

[kwang sun]

^ oo naman sis.. lol

[~lovesick~]

yes! tiwala at constant communication lang sis! at dapat kayong dalawa ang nag-eeffort hindi yung isa lang ang gumagawa ng paraan to make both ends meet. just believe na kakayanin niyo ang lahat.

[aebrbiyc2009]

yes! tiwala at constant communication lang sis! at dapat kayong dalawa ang nag-eeffort hindi yung isa lang ang gumagawa ng paraan to make both ends meet. just believe na kakayanin niyo ang lahat.

That's so true. LDR for almost a year. Immigrants kami sa Canada pero umuwi ako for the whole month of April dahil namiss ko sya. Buti pinayagan ako ng parents ko. Hoho. Hindi masyadong magulo kasi 12 hours yung time difference kaya madali ko syang matrack. Anyway busy ako sa work and sya sa school so ayos lang. Text, call, chat basta may time. Importante din yung may GOAL. Kasi yun yung nagiging motivation lalo na kung mag-bf-gf palang. Humor din dapat andun lagi. Kasi nakakadepress na nga yung sitwasyon tas seryoso ka pa di ba?

[Sashi05]

In a LDR now for 3 months. Sobrang hirap kasi first BF ko pa siya. Minsan nakalulungkot lang kasi first time kong magkaBF pero wala naman dito. Buti na lang laging siyang online so nakakapag-usap kami. Pumapasok ako ng office minsan na puyat kasi 7hours yung time difference sa Phil. Kailangan lang talaga ng time and effort sa LDR which hindi naman siya nagkulang.

Okay naman kami sa LDR na set up kaso lang may opportunity na dumating for me to work in Dubai and I really want this job. Hindi kami magkikita for 2-3 years kasi pag-uwi nya wala naman ako. Minsan naiisip ko nahiwalayan na lang siya kasi mapaparanoid lang ako kakaisip na hindi siya maging faithful or may mahanap syang iba. So para lesser yung pain yun minsan naiisip ko.  Before this opportunity came, he told me that he plans to ask my parents if he could marry me pag-uwi nya next year. Gusto na din kasi nya magsettle down after 2years. Undecided pa din ako if tatanggapin ko yung work or hindi. Parang natatakot lang kasi ako na baka pagbalik ko wala na sya.   

[cecilydee]

^Sis take the work opportunity especially that you really want it. If you dont and you sacrificed yourself too much, you might blame him later on when you both hit a crisis. it might strain your relationship later on...and will crush you.. Dont be afraid of what will "not happen" yet like if mawala siya...enjoy your time as a single person while you are together and if he is really serious in you, he will find a way to tie you in his life forever. Not putting your happiness into other person is really important in any kind of relationship lalo na sa LDR.

[baliwsayo]

3 years na kami, he's in California. Hindi madali of course, nakakaloka minsan lalo na when I miss him pero swerte tayo kasi may viber na, Skype, etc.. ang daming ways to connect. We broke up several times na din, ako lagi naggi-give up.. hehe.. but kami pa din eh. Admittedly, we both don't know if this will eventually work. I told him nga na puwede siya mambabae if he likes.. kasi alam ko naman may needs siya.. g**o daw ako.. yun lang ang sagot niya pag sina-suggest ko yun. Haha! Gusto ko lang kasi open lang siya sa opportunity kung meron.. told him, I will get hurt of course pero basta happy siya then I'm happy na rin. I don't know if this is really love kasi I am willing to sacrifice or hindi ko lang talaga siya mahal. Pero napapaiyak naman niya ako everytime magiging busy siya for 1 day at di niya ako makausap ng matagal.. parang autistic ano? Lol! Ako din nalalabuan sa sarili ko. 

[kwang sun]

^ kaloka sis.. we have the exact same story. ako yung unang nagigive up  pero siya yung may gusto talaga eh.. we had a serious talk about this "long distance rel thing"and he said to me mahirap nga daw pero dapat pa rin bigyan ng chance..

[karlita123]

It will work so long as you love each other and you have definite plan for the future

[tomatostellar]

I agree w/ "it works but not for everybody"
Depende talaga sa couple, if you're willing to make it work,., twice kaming nag LDR ng ex ko, pero yung second time, medyo complicated na, parang kami pero hindi. So eventually, nag give up na ko.

Although I have a friend, she and her bf became a couple here sa Pinas,. then she went to Dubai and they were LDR for 2 years or so ata. The guy eventually followed her, and they're now married.

I think yung mga taong, hindi, needy, clingy and jealous type lang ang nakakapag pa work ng LDR.

so how are you TS?

[cecilydee]

For me my secret of making it work is to understand and not to observe and make false assumptions. I was like this few weeks ago and I didnt even notice I was becoming a control freak in the relationship haha. bawat kilos niya inaabangan ko to the point of inassume ko na may gagawin siyang masama. that was a bad defense mechanism.  thank God my bf loves me so much and we surpassed this trial.

[heaven_charm]

im lucky to have a bf na super understanding at di napapagod manuyo. pag nagaaway kame at nagkapikunan, siya yun di nakakatiis at nagpapasensya nalang. seaman si bf and 4 months na since nakaalis siya. pag nagaaway kame over petty things at nagalit ako, by the end of the day siya padin ang nanlalambing sakin. i think makakasurvive naman kame til end of his 1-year contract on March 2014

as early as now nagpa-plan na kame san kame out of town since 2nd year anniversary nadin namin pagbalik niya

i think it is important that someone is willing na iintindi sa topak ng isa. bawal magsabay ng topak