Tampuhan 101: Silent Treatment VS Confrontation

[Red Rack 21]

IMO confrontation can be worse than silence. it won't lead to mutual understanding unless you set about it with genuine concern and affection. if you and your partner/friend square off for a fearless heart-to-heart confrontation, you must be ready to hear things you would rather not hear. high-pitched accusations do more harm than good. alam nyo yun yung lahat ng masasabi mo overstatements because you are in the heat of anger. best thing to do calm down, find or create an atmosphere of quiet trust, and talk to him/her about his deeper self, his worries etc. etc...

[pinkberries]

Dati, confrontation din ako.  away kung away talaga... di nagpapatalo.  and i find it amusing sometimes, when i see him super angry na.    Pero lately, mas effective pala ang Silent treatment.  Less stressful pa and siya na mismo magiisip ng kanyang mga actions, kung may nasabi or nagawa ba siya na nainis ako. 

[tinsantos10]

Confrontation: Nasasabi mo lahat ng gusto mo pero mas mag-aaway kayo kasi pataasan ng pride. Syempre kapag may sinabi ka, may sasabihin din siya. Hindi pwedeng magpapatalo ka and of course hindi rin siya papayag na matalo.

Silent Treatment: Deadma lang kayo pareho hangga't mamiss niyo yung isa't isa tapos syempre may isa sa inyong magpapakumbaba and magsosorry. Pero most of the time, hindi niyo rin mapag-uusapan yung cause ng fight niyo with this method.

Based on experience 'tong mga sinabi ko pero it depends to the both of you

[tough_guy]

agree ako dito, let you both ease the tension muna. pagisipan mabuti ang mga sasabihin at magusap ng maayos.

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[babyboo.0326]

Sa amin kasi, it works if I don't talk pag galit ako or if I feel bad. Then he knows that there's something wrong na. He would just let me be, hanggang sa calm na ako, then saka ako magsasalita. I just wait for the right time kesa magsalita na ako agad while I'm mad tapos may masabi pa akong hindi maganda, hindi ko na mababawi yun. I've learned from past relationships na kasi, and to each his own. So this works for us 

[imyourangel]

Confrontation: Nasasabi mo lahat ng gusto mo pero mas mag-aaway kayo kasi pataasan ng pride. Syempre kapag may sinabi ka, may sasabihin din siya. Hindi pwedeng magpapatalo ka and of course hindi rin siya papayag na matalo.

Silent Treatment: Deadma lang kayo pareho hangga't mamiss niyo yung isa't isa tapos syempre may isa sa inyong magpapakumbaba and magsosorry. Pero most of the time, hindi niyo rin mapag-uusapan yung cause ng fight niyo with this method.

Based on experience 'tong mga sinabi ko pero it depends to the both of you

I agree with this. I think mas effective yung silent treatment.. yun ang ginagawa ko samin kasi. Then pag naglalambingan na, I'll open to him what happened, why we fought, etc. etc. Napaguusapan naman namin ng maayos. Atleast clear na yung minds namin. Mahinahon kami magusap. May lambing, pero nalalaman namin kung ano yung mga dapat itama.

[imdWOMANwhocntbemove]

i'm a silent type pag galit ako..pero eto namang si hubby, parang mababaliw pag di ko siya kinikibo!mas gusto niya na kinoconfront ko siya pag nagagalit/naiinis ako or basta may something wrong, gusto niya maging vocal ako..ang ending pareho kaming sasabog...tapos tatahimik na rin siya..tapos in the end of the day magsosorry siya..ganyan lang kami lagi..nasanay na lang din ako..haha

pero mas maganda talagang maging silent treatment..pag nagsubside na yun galit, maayos na confrontation naman..para maayos pa rin yun gusot..

[tough_guy]

base on my experience sa relasyon ko noon, ako yung laging aggresive lalo na pag may arguments kami,siya naman tatahimik nalang. Siyempre pag di na siya kumikibo at natahimik nalang siya something wrong talaga sa amin. di ko rin alam ang side ng gf ko laging ako yung bira ng bira, so kakausapin ko siya at magssorry na lang ako at paguusapan namin ang pagkukulang ng bawat isa.

[|:AyemZia:|]

confrontation. maganda din nailalabas yung galit. mas nakakagaan ng pakiramdam pagkatapos.
ako tlaga hindi nagwork sa ken ang silent treatment kase feeling ko nagbibuild up lahat ng galit sa dibdib ko pag hindi ako nagsalita. mas masama pag naipon at sumabog. just my POV...

[iseenessie]

There is this stand up comedian named whitney cummings who had a skit about the silent treatment.

according to her, the silent treatment is a reward and not a punishment. it's actually very funny. you guys should check it out.

i think it is better to talk it out. but first, you have to wait until you are ready to be rational. don't talk if you are still overwhelmed by emotions. because your emotions could cloud your judgment.

[Myealexis21]

Wala akong pipiliin sa dalawang yan.  Silent treatment is as bad as confrontation to some extent.  If you are at the receiving end, mas mahirap.  My hubby has this tendency.  Nakaka-frustrate sya.  Minsan gusto ko na lang na confrontation para at least we are still talking pa rin.

Kaso sa confrontation naman, nothing gets solved kapag pareho kayong mainit ang ulo.

Ideally, dapat cool down muna kayo.  Agree to discuss the matter when both of you are calm and can be able to think more rationally.  Kaso most of the time mahirap gawin yan. 

[gracita13]

ako silent treatment,si hubby naman gusto confrontation kaya nagiging worst pa ang away namen.napo-provoke nya akong magsalita dahil ang daldal eh daig pa ko.kakarindi so ang ending nagsisigawan na kame.ayoko nga nagsasalita pag galit kasi masakit talaga ko magsalita eh makulit sya.ngaun nagbago na sya haha pag galit ako hindi na din muna sya magsasalita.confrontation is good but not when you're both galit.

[jenger109]

I go for silent treatment.. Para makapag isip sya and ma realize nya wrong doings nya..

[ri-anne]

i don't like giving the silent treatment..ganyan ako dati, pero parang feeling ko walang patutunguhan at lalo ko lang pinapatagal yun inis ko sa sitwasyon .... although "confrontation" is a strong word naman...

but i prefer kasi when there's something i don't like, sinasabi ko right then and there...ang technique lang, as much as possible, i try not to be accusing so he wont get into defensive mode...dun naguumpisa yung pagtatalo na nauuwi sa sigawan eh...thank god we've matured na and we discuss our differences in a level headed way.

When i "confront" him, i don't raise my voice pero firm. straight and direct to the point then yung gusto kong mangyari next time. if kontra sya, then we come up with a solution or compromise.
minsan mapapataas ang boses nya then i remind him na there's no need to raise his voice. raising his voice doesn't make him right or doesn't make him a winner or something (may contest ba kung sino mas malakas sumigaw?) we have to remind ourselves that we're a team, we're on the same side, we're partners.
anyway after he says sorry (if it's his fault), then that's it. tapos na i dont make a big deal out of it na.move on

[nikkag07]

yun past relationships ko before wala akong pakialam. as in hindi lang siguro ako naging serious kasi hindi ko nakita yun effort sa guy. so dito sa boyfriend ko now, nakita ko talaga yun effort nya na gusto nya ako so nakuha nya yun loob ko and i'm always in the mood ayusin kahit anong problem namen. I'm more of a CONFRONTATIONAL and siya is SILENT TREATMENT. i'm annoyed by the thought of it kasi ayaw ko talaga na hindi kami okay.

laging ganun kami nun nagstart yun relationship namen, ako kukulitin ko siya makipagusap to fix things, siya naman ayaw makipagusap wala naman daw aayusin or wag ko daw siya kausapin kasi mainit ulo nya. hindi ko siya titigilan hanggang hindi kami okay. na-aayos naman namen yun mga problema. yun nga lang sobrang effort yun dating sa part ko. and na mumukha siyang masama sa harap ng friends nya at classmates.

 eventually i got tired. so ngaun. okay na din ako sa silent treatment lalo na if hindi ko naman alam talaga ano ginagawa kong masama. pag alam kong ako may mali. i know how to bring down my pride. naaayos din naman pag hindi na mainit ulo namen dalwa. kapag nag-usap kami mas malumanay. yun nga lang kelangan mo tiisin yun times na hindi kayo nag-uusap at hindi kayo okay.

i've learned na magiging okay din ang lahat eventually!.

[princeza08]

kami ni hubby talagang we confront each other and talk about things kung ano yun problem at di namin pinagkakasunduan. and then we ended up ok na. hindi uso ang pride sa relationship esp. sa married life. di dapat pinapatagal ang mga misunderstandings.

[BicuriousGm]

Silent treatment for me, kilala ko sarili ko. When i confront diretso na yun. It's the best speech na madinig ng bf ko sa akin. Kaya kesa maka sakit ako ng feelings nya...id rather not talk.

[Ladee_16]

I'd go for the confrontation less the anger. Although di maiiwasan na may galit talaga pag may issue, i beleive na mas madaling maaayos ang problema kung pinag-uusapan. Ang hirap sa silent treatment parang nasa ledge kayo pareho pati yung relationship. I'd rather hear the other side say his opinion kahit masakit, kesa naman nag-iisip ako kung ano bang iniisip niya.

[AnJelatine]

Sa amin kasi, it works if I don't talk pag galit ako or if I feel bad. Then he knows that there's something wrong na. He would just let me be, hanggang sa calm na ako, then saka ako magsasalita. I just wait for the right time kesa magsalita na ako agad while I'm mad tapos may masabi pa akong hindi maganda, hindi ko na mababawi yun. I've learned from past relationships na kasi, and to each his own. So this works for us 

Same, 200%

[angeleigh]

Silent treatment for me kasi i know na masakit ako magsalita, so kapag galit ako at pinilit niya ako kausapin, makakarinig siya talaga sakin ng hindi maganda.