LDR dillema...

[bebeloo]

5 years na kami and ngayon lang siya nawalay (naks! nawalay haha) sa akin for 3 months because of work.. ayun.. sa umpisa mahirap.. lalo na ako yung nagaadjust since iba yung time zone eh, lagi akong puyat. iba talaga pag nasanay kang lagi siyang andiyan. everyday pa naman kaming magkasama..

fortunately, 3 weeks from now, babalik na siya. hay thank you Lord

[Girltalker2]

I feel that way too. Pero ako naman I'm craving for attention, affection and physical presence ni boyfie. Since wala naman siya at lagi raw siyang "busy" and he doesn't give a damn about me, natetempt talaga ako na sa ibang guys na lang kunin yung tatlong pangangailangan ko na yun tutal naman maraming better opportunities for me, LOL. sobrang deprived talaga ako, for me our relationship doesn't serve its purpose anymore. 

I think these things are better talked about HONESTLY by both parties.  Kung kelangan ninyo maghiwalay, mag usap kayo ng maayos.  Nang sa gayon, if meron kang niisip na opportunities, hindi ka kelangan magsinungaling or patago tago.

[baliwsayo]

LDR din ako dati. Okey if you're both on the same page.

Ex sought other outlets to shrug off his loneliness. He got addicted to tennis and new found friends because of that sport. He forgot I missed him too and I have no other outlet but him. So there, we are not on the same page anymore so eventually broke up. He said he will always love me, am not sure if I believed that but I feel sad when I saw his message. He even sent me something for my birthday but I dont feel anything anymore eh.

Mahirap talaga ang LDR. More than 3 years din kami pero 5 years niya ako niligawan. It all went to waste dahil lang nag-iba siya ng priority.  On and off kami kaya I just woke up one day na wala na kong feelings sa kanya.  There's no third party involved here but still it didn't worked out in the end.

[heaven_charm]

I also have a dilemma,2 weeks na ko uneasy.

11 months na kame ni bf nun umalis siya, seaman kasi. Dapat uuwi siya ng Feb this year kasi 1-year contract lang siya kaso delayed kasi wala daw papalit. Ang masaklap pa dun hindi alam kelan magkakapalit.

Anyway, okay naman kame dati kasi nagkakachat kami regularly and call din siya. Pero after ng second anniversary namin nun Feb madalang na. Once a week nalang tapos saglit lang. Lage niyang reason walang signal kahit same area naman ng dati. Then this month, bigla niya nabanggit sakin na may nurse na interesado sa kanya pero hindi daw niya ko ipagpapalit kahit na may chance siya. After niya sabihin yun 1 week siya nawala, galit na galit ako I told him ramdam ko nambababae siya. Then suddenly sabi niya gawa gawa lang daw yun. Pinatawad ko siya pero ramdam ko na di yun gawa gawa.

ngayon balik na naman sa dati di niya sinasagot call ko, madalang din magtext. Reason nya busy sa work.

i dont know if I should trust him kasi lage ako depressed mula nun nag-open siya sakin at dahil bihira na siya paramdam. Am I just being paranoid or talagang tama yun kutob ko? Tentative date ng uwi nya May. Dapat ko pa ba siya hintayin or isuko ko na kasi he might be cheating on me?

i am so frustrated and wala ako makausap kasi lahat ng friends namin ayaw magbreak kame

[baliwsayo]

^^Well, ask him kung ano na plano niya sa buhay and if still includes you. If he says yes and you still love him pa naman then wait for him till May. But if you feel you are not getting what you deserve and you're no longer happy, then breakup with him na.

[Girltalker2]

sa LDR kasi, both parties should remain focused. Kung nawawalan na ng attention ang isa, dapat magising yung isa kung kausapin sya.

i dont know if I should trust him kasi lage ako depressed mula nun nag-open siya sakin at dahil bihira na siya paramdam. Am I just being paranoid or talagang tama yun kutob ko? Tentative date ng uwi nya May. Dapat ko pa ba siya hintayin or isuko ko na kasi he might be cheating on me?

i am so frustrated and wala ako makausap kasi lahat ng friends namin ayaw magbreak kame

Sis, I don't think you can trust a person na nawawala wala and never gives you an assurance na andyan parin sya.

It is not a matter of waiting, but a matter of communicating.  I think both of you should talk. And you should tell him, kung nambabae sya, he should decide kung gusto ka pa nya o hindi. Hindi puedeng mambababae sya tapos may GF nag aantay sa kanya. It is not fair for you.

Kung ayaw nya sabihin sayo kasi natatakot sya saktan ka.  Eh sa ginagawa nyang pagtatago ngayon at probably for a longer time pa eh iyan narin nangyayari di ba? Hindi ba better na bigyan ka nya ng peace of mind na wala na kayo at free na sya kahit sino pa man ang landiin nya kesa niloloko ka nya?

[heaven_charm]

Bf called this morning, nagtext kasi ako sa kanya that I'm no longer happy na bihira nalang siya makipag-communicate. Ayun mega sorry siya wala daw siya babae, madalang lang daw talaga magkasignal lately. He asked me again to wait for him until June instead of May kasi di siya makaalis sa barko dahil wala pang kapalit. Nakakaloka na naextend na naman siya. Tiis tiis nalang ulit ako

[Girltalker2]

^ Ganito nalang. Sabihin mo umuwi sya soonest. If he thinks June, then so be it. Pero for the meantime, puede ba maglibang ka muna?  Meaning between now and June, cool off muna kayo so you can think things over.  Not think of him at hindi maging problemado sa relationship ninyo. (I am assuming you can ditch him naman and deal with it).  Madali lang nga siguro sabihin pero mahirap gawin especially if you are still so attached with him.

Objectively speaking, if I am your mom, I think you are better off without him muna.  Pag bumalik sya sa June and looks for you, di ibig sabihin he is still interested.  Tsaka mo na i-evaluate kung ok pa ipagpatuloy ang relationship ninyo.

[palamig]

buhay LDR sadyang puno ng pagsubok
bf ko din nasa barko good thing wala babae sa kanila kasi cargo ang hindi ko na lang nasusubaybayan e kung bumababa ba sya pag nasa port pero sabi nya hindi daw ayaw daw nya gumastos nagtitipid daw sya

pero parang ang hirap nyang sayo sis heaven_charm, nakaka aning, sana nga wala sya babae.

[heaven_charm]

So recently nag-freeport sina bf so nakababa siya lupa at nagkaron ng matinong signal. We got chance to talk and ayusin lahat lahat. And as usual, he bought items for me parang peace offering. Kinausap din siya ng relatives at family niya kung ano nangyayare samin. So ayun okay na kame ulet.

Thanks girls. Nakatulong din na in his absence, his family and relatives were there to comfort me and assure me na walang babae. Saka goodluck nalang dun sa babae niya kasi sakin botong boto lahat. Hehe

[simang]

^hahaha agree on wag manuod the legal wife. mapapraning lang kayo

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I personally am not for LDR, I don't think kaya kong wala kaming physical contact, yung 2 weeks lang na hindi kami nagkita sobrang tagal na nun for me, kaya saludo ako sa mga sisses natin dito who are strong enough to endure the distance. LDR works, i've seen a lot sa mga friends ko but it takes way more effort than a usual relationship. Weak ako sa ganyan, ayoko ng malayo, haha. Non-negotiable ang distance saken, unless of course one is willing to move para hindi na LDR (mala-Felix and Marzia lang of Youtube, haha).

[cecilydee]

^I didnt know LDR is for me until I was put into the situation! Ayan sasabak sabak ako sa relationship. Yun pala sobrang hirap nakaka buwang!  Pinaka mahirap sa akin ang middle part ng hintayan. mahirap mag maintain na sane ka. yung after nyo magkahiwalay, ok pa e kasi fresh pa sa isip mo about him. of course yung malapit na kayo magkita, yun ang pinaka masaya.

nagkaroon din ako ng praning days before. Na kapag nabbwisit ako sa bf ko, ayan FB stalk na ako. Lahat ng pwedeng i hack, hinahack ko na. In the end wala naman pero and result lalo lang kami nag aaway kasi hindi ako matahimik.

Nanonood parin ako ng Legal Wife pero this  time kinukwentuhan ko siya about sa napanood ko at kung ano ang ayaw ko sa scene para alam niya kung ano views and opinion ko about mistresses lol

[meisaia]

for me, kung hindi mo kaya magbigay ng extra sa isang relationship (extra effort, extra trust, extra loyalty), wag ka na magtry ng long distance relationship. mahihirapan lang kayo.

[simang]

^^i was in a sort of LDR prior to my current one, we were 7 years together, siguro on average nagkikita lang kami once around 3-4 months. i was studying in Manila and he's in the province, we're from the same province but different towns so hindi rin halos kami nagkikita.

it's not for me, kase after that relationship (and many other things that happened), i didn't want to add anymore stress in my life. i wanted a relationship that's convenient, within reach, easy, light and fun. naniniwala kase ako sa kasabihan na love is like a fart, if you have to force it it's probably s***. haha but seriously though, i just didn't want anymore torture. keeping a relationship is hard in itself, so sa isip ko, keeping an LDR is twice or thrice as hard, and I don't want to put myself in that.

my h2b told me he wants to try working abroad. i know that sa bansang pupuntahan nya, wala akong magandang work opportunity doon. staying here while he's abroad is also not an option especially because we're getting married. so what i did is i convinced him to let me take my licensure exam in the states so I can practice there, and bring him there. that's how much i don't want an LDR.

but as sis meisaia said, maybe i don't want to consciousoly give that extra effort for the relationship, that's why LDR is not an option for me.

[ennaem]

We belong to this group as bf works overseas. 

[cecilydee]

so what i did is i convinced him to let me take my licensure exam in the states so I can practice there, and bring him there. that's how much i don't want an LDR.

but as sis meisaia said, maybe i don't want to consciousoly give that extra effort for the relationship, that's why LDR is not an option for me.

are you going to states first before him and have a temporary LDR situation? aww. this is what i dont like in PH. we had to leave the country for the betterment of our families future.

LDR is not for the faint heart. but i believe that everybody can do it. lalo na ngyon easy na technology, easy to find our mate online but difficult to pursue due to the distance.

naniniwala rin ako na nasa lalaki yan. kung gaano siya ka willing i pursue si girl. i didnt take my bf seriously when we first met. akala ko casual dating lang kami not until he said he will not let me go ever and will continue to pursue me. kaya nagsucceed din relationship namin dahil assured ako na patay na patay siya sa akin lol

[simang]

^no, we will be leaving together. Kaya inadjust nmin yung wedding before i leave para dependent ko na sya pag alis ko.

Yes anyone can do it... I guess i just choose not to. Haha. But sobra, i salute couples who survive LDR, who makes it work. I have a lot of friends na LDR din and i see how well they are together kahit magkalayo sila.

[Girltalker2]

^ Ang hirap nga timplahin kung may issue isa sa inyo or may gusto pag usapan tapos busy sa work. Tapos dagdagan mo pa ng LDR.

Could really be frustrating.  Kung hindi nga lang LDR, ang hirap na. Pero there are times na work is work at kelangan itigil sya by 6pm or if not, at least by 7pm. From there, one should at least give family time/personal time to loved ones kahit na short conversation lang. Importante eh yung "engaged" kayo sa thoughts/conversations ninyo.

In any case, if you don't mind me asking, ilan taon na kayo?  Have you discussed getting serious na ba with him? Just wanna gauge ba how serious is your LDR.  Kasi sabi mo 2014 palang naman kayo, in which case nasa LDR talaga kayo right from the start of your relationship. Why go into LDR then?  May plans ba kayo not to be in this situation in the next 2 years?  Natanong ko lang, kasi kung ako ang mom mo or elder sis, I would suggest not to pursue it sana. Pero andyan ka na, better stick it out muna at ilang months palang naman kayo.  It could just be a temporary tampuhan.  But be observant and vigilant, huwag lang overly paranoid. Tama naman, try to mellow down muna before ka makipag usap din but keep the communication open - good morning/have a nice day and good night/hope you had a nice day kinda thing should be the bare minimum. Kahit gaano pa ka busy ang isang tao, kung LDR kayo, importante mapa feel mo na andyan ka parin.

[shyreen]

LDR kami ngayon for one month palang until december pero baka umabot ng june next year pagnaextend ako. Same company kami pero magkaibang project, pinadala ako dito sa US for another project. Nagkahiwalay nadin kami before pero 2 months lang nung naonshore ako sa london, tapos sobrang miss na miss na namin ang isat isa noon. Ngayon mas matagal parang mas mahirap may times na umiiyak ako sa lunkot. Di kasi ako sanay ng malayo sa pamilya at kay bf. Mag 8 years na kami sa october at madami akong mamimiss na celebrations. Pero sabi nga nya tiis tiis lang muna. Kelangan lang ng tiwala, patience at understanding. Siyempre wag mawawala ang communication. Excited na ko umuwi super!

[baliwsayo]

honeybunny, parang pareho tayo ng ugali. Lol! Ganyan din ako noon nung kami pa ni ex. Yan din isip ko, I care too much kasi. So pag di siya nag-good morning or good night sa akin, nawawala na balance ko, bad vibes na. We broke up many times. Naka-3 years din kami till I finally called it quits permanently. Malayo na nga hindi pa kasi mag-extra effort tapos lapitin pa siya ng girls. Sa sales siya so medyo malandi din at nababasa ko pa yun sa facebook niya kaya inunfriend ko na lang siya para di ako mabaliw haha.

6 months na kaming off pero minsan nagtetext pa din siya. He said pa na he will always love me. Duh. Sana hindi lang sa salita, pati sa gawa din sana. No chance of getting back together cause I'm in love with someone else na. Hihi! Bilis lang. 

Anyway, okey ang LDR if both are committed to make it work.. as in pantay dapat. Pag mas lamang kasi yun isa, puro frustration kasi ang tatama sa yo. It's not for the faint of heart talaga.