Online Dating

[kvandenhaak]

^Exactly! The greatest threat to our relationship is not the ex...it's his job as an athlete. He told me he is travelling to Austria this December to compete. And I have a feeling he's gonna take that opportunity to try our as well. He's also gonna compete in Minnesota earlier next year. He lived abroad for several years before because of his hockey career. Madali kung US lang but Europe is kinda far.

[angeljolie]

hehe tama na ang pagtatanong about the ex! Sayang ang oras at energy. Tama i-enjoy mo na lang yung now. Wag mo muna masyado isipin ang Europe. Maiistress ka lang. Ang daling sabihin pero ako hirap na hirap umiwas sa stress lol!

[kvandenhaak]

^Yes, ma'am! Lol! 😄

I went to his place this evening and accidentally met his dad! Hindi ako nakapagsalita agad... Hahaha! I said hi and sorry I didn't knock on the back door. Pagpasok ko kasi, andun sa kitchen ba naman?

[sk8rboyswife]

About dun sa 3 days lang sa pinas ang guy from US unless ikaw ang naghatid sundo sa kanya at may copy ka ng ticket nya sa online possible na 3 days lang talaga pero knowing mga foreigner kumuha yan ng mahabang vacation lalo na kung may kameet atleast 1-2 weeks ang minimum. Madalas din bukod sa pinas sa Thailand ang deretcho nila alam nyo na knowing Thailand.

I did not stress myself about that. He wasn't on vacation mode, He resigned and had an upcoming training sa US. That's what he made me believe I guess, pero nagtiwala naman ako. Ayoko na kasi ng drama sa buhay. Kung ako lang edi ako lang, pero pag may nakita akong kakaiba while he's here edi waaaw. Nakakalat lang things niya when we were together which I didn't bother to look or ask him. I also never asked about his exes, siya lang ang nagtanong saken about this, na nagagalit sya pag sinasagot ko kase selos na selos daw siya.

Pero thinking about those things mas okay na siguro wala na kame hehe. Mas nakakamove on ako. Gusto kong pumunta ng Thailand! HAHAHA

[kvandenhaak]

^Yun naman talaga ang isang challenge ng online dating especially kung long distance, yung trust issue. Finding the balance between being too paranoid and trusting the person is tricky. Eh since natapos na naman na, there's no point in beating yourself over what happened. If your heart was in the right place, then there's no shame on it. Ang dami din naman naloko ng harap harapan, di ba? Sige, push mo yang Thailand!

[Shadow Angel]

Buti naman eto lang maganda sa online dating kung marunong ka magdala ma eenjoy mo at hindi ka ganun masasaktan mas madali maka move on.

[angeljolie]

Ang dami din naman naloko ng harap harapan, di ba?

Wala nang mas tototoo pa dito!

[sk8rboyswife]

^Yun naman talaga ang isang challenge ng online dating especially kung long distance, yung trust issue. Finding the balance between being too paranoid and trusting the person is tricky. Eh since natapos na naman na, there's no point in beating yourself over what happened. If your heart was in the right place, then there's no shame on it. Ang dami din naman naloko ng harap harapan, di ba? Sige, push mo yang Thailand!

Yuhhh, it's totally pointless. Na-miss ko lang kasi siya! Haha!

[kvandenhaak]

^Naku sis, ganyan din ako dati. What I did was redirected my energy  and focus with something or someone else. Just remember that before you met him, you were fine. So, why should you be not when he is gone? And believe that someone is out there for you. Pray for that person kahit di pa kayo nagkakakilala. There's nothing wrong naman with being single. Remember ang daming me karelasyon pero hindi masaya...lol! I was married at me anak, pero I am definitely enjoying my time as a single mom.

Now, kaming dalawa ni athlete is doing well. Minsan, mas okay pa  yung walang high expectations. Walang drama, walang selosan, walang away. My approach is, "How can I make a difference in your life?" so even if we don't end up together, at least it's was good. The friendship seems to be working out. We are starting to open up to each other about a lot of things. It's slow but working out fine.

[jtansanco]

^ Mukhang on fire na ulit dating life mo ah! It's been a while. Gotta catch up to your stories. Hahaha

[sk8rboyswife]

^Naku sis, ganyan din ako dati. What I did was redirected my energy  and focus with something or someone else. Just remember that before you met him, you were fine. So, why should you be not when he is gone? And believe that someone is out there for you. Pray for that person kahit di pa kayo nagkakakilala. There's nothing wrong naman with being single. Remember ang daming me karelasyon pero hindi masaya...lol! I was married at me anak, pero I am definitely enjoying my time as a single mom.

Now, kaming dalawa ni athlete is doing well. Minsan, mas okay pa  yung walang high expectations. Walang drama, walang selosan, walang away. My approach is, "How can I make a difference in your life?" so even if we don't end up together, at least it's was good. The friendship seems to be working out. We are starting to open up to each other about a lot of things. It's slow but working out fine.

Sis, want to hug you. Somehow this made me feel good. Really not at my best now kasi, but you're right, I was super okay before I met him! Sabi ko nga kakayod ako ng kakayod sa work and a new hobby til he's out of my mind completely.

[kvandenhaak]

Grabe GT, mas matagal ang maintenance mode...kaloka! Back read ka na lang sa mga kwento ko before

@jtsancoKeri lang naman. Not really on fire and not really ice cold. Keri lang kung baga.  Back read ka na lang sa mga kwento ko.

@sk8rboyswife Aww, thanks! It is actually better to grieve than try to hide it naman. Afterwards, trust me, tatawanan mo na lang sarili mo. I remember last year when Vaughn was so mad at me kasi nga sinabi ko dun sa girl. Bawiin ko daw sinabi ko, otherwise he will never talk to me again. He will erase everything about me on the his phone, social media...everything. I said, "Ahmm...why would I do that? And what made you think I am gonna die without you? I survived <insert # of years> without you! I will survive without you. Hindi agad sya nakapagsalita....lol! Fast forward to 2017, he butt dialed my number. I texted him to not bother me again and just delete my number completely. Buburahin daw number ko ha? Kaloka. And looking back at that time, I didn't know the athlete exists? Same in your case, he is somewhere, probably close enough already. You just don't know yet that you are going to meet. In the meantime, just do what you normally do everyday.

[angeljolie]

Hay. Ako naman akala ko this is it. Hindi pa pala.

Seven months into this relationship (or whatever this is), he dropped the bomb saying hindi nya alam kung handa sya for a family of 5 (I have 2 kids, he has 1). I'm like wtf?! Lol! Naiintindihan ko naman sya, though sana sinabi nya saken early on. Sabi nya he was concentrating on us daw, he wanted to see kung compatible kami before he makes plans. Anyway, hindi pa kami naghihiwalay. Pero iniisip ko na maglaho na lang. I'm torn between believing him (he's always been honest, iniimbestigahan ko lahat ng sinasabi nya and he passed with flying colors each time lol) and not buying his s***. I don't know.

Any thoughts?

[amethyst028]

^what does he mean by hindi siya handa for a family of 5? For him to say that is kinda ouchy. Meaning he can?t see a future with you and your 2kids. Kung mahal ka niya talaga dapat lahat tanggap niya.

I have a cousin may 4kids from a previous relationship and tinanggap pa rin ng guy now they have 2 more of their own. It was never an issue sa guy kasi mahal niya yung cousin ko.

Kung ako sayo sis medyo hindi na ako mag invest ng emotions and unti-unti ko na detach yung sarili ko kasi sa sinabi niyang yun foul yun. But it could be something else ginagamit niya lang na reason yun kasi alam niyang that is something you can?t change. How is your relationship? Masaya ba kayo? Are you both growing more in love with each other?

Kame rin 7months na ng bf ko. May tig 1 kid rin kame both boys. Habang tumatagal mas nagiging close kame and mas nagiging sweet sa isa?t isa. We are best friends we tell each other everything. Nung umpisa very guarded ako kasi akala ko hindi kame magtatagal, siya yung mas matiyaga mag work ng issues.

[kvandenhaak]

^^Malabo yung hindi pa ready for family of 5. Ibig ba nya sabihin is that hindi pa sya ready to get married and he just wants to concentrate on your relationship, meaning just the two of you for now? I mean, okay but the reality of it is that you have 2 kids. Package deal talaga yan. So if he is saying he is not ready, the questions is when is he gonna be? Baka kung kelan emotionally invested ka na masyado saka ka iiwanan.

Yan ang kauna-unahang criteria for me, na dapat the guy accepts the fact that I have a son. And that he can be father figure for my son or a least a buddy.

[angeljolie]

Actually nung unang una pa, and many times along the way, sinabi ko at nireremind ko sa kanya na I have 2 kids. And he was okay with it. Until last month parang nagbago ang timpla nya. He started going out more often. Kesyo madami silang functions (executive chef sya) and the team hangs out after.

Siguro may nakilalang iba, or na open up nya ang situation namin at may nag advise against going further, I don't know. Siguro he just doesn't love me enough. Actually madami nang red flags from the start. Ewan ko bakit tinuloy ko pa. Shunga lang.

Anyway, we broke up last night. I knew deep in my heart something was not right. The other day lang he said he loves me very much. Pero hindi match sa sinabi nyang hindi sya ready to change his lifestyle. So ako na yung nag offer if he wants me to leave him alone. And he said yes. It's sad pero at least tapos na.  Hindi pa ako umiiyak. Sana hindi ako maiyak hehe.

[Girltalker2]

Hay. Ako naman akala ko this is it. Hindi pa pala.

Seven months into this relationship (or whatever this is), he dropped the bomb saying hindi nya alam kung handa sya for a family of 5 (I have 2 kids, he has 1). I'm like wtf?! Lol! Naiintindihan ko naman sya, though sana sinabi nya saken early on. Sabi nya he was concentrating on us daw, he wanted to see kung compatible kami before he makes plans. Anyway, hindi pa kami naghihiwalay. Pero iniisip ko na maglaho na lang. I'm torn between believing him (he's always been honest, iniimbestigahan ko lahat ng sinasabi nya and he passed with flying colors each time lol) and not buying his s***. I don't know.

Any thoughts?

Nagkita na ba kayo?
Just asking how serious the relationship as of the moment.

7 months sa kanya ka lang nag focus? Hindi ba nahulog na loob mo sa kanya if ever sya lang kausap mo?

Kahit na di pa kayo naghihiwalay, Tingin ko lang na better meet others din. Hanggang sa walang serious proposal at totoong relationship at ok na partner Yung guy, you shouldn?t stop your search and assume na sya na.

[angeljolie]

^We spent 2 weeks together last September. We were planning on going to France this January para makilala ko mga kapatid nya at mom. But then in October, ayun nga naiba ang mga bagay bagay. He started going out. Dati work-bahay lang sya. He was consistently present pero alam kong something was bothering him. He was talking less.

Yes sa kanya lang ako nag focus ng 7 months. I tried entertaining others pero ang hirap mag maintain ng more than one that time. Apparently, I kept the wrong one hehe.

We had (past tense) a serious relationship. Until he changed.

[amethyst028]

^awww sorry to hear that sis. Parang ang dami ko nababasa na break up dito sa GT lately.

Did you start out intese agad? Do you text or communicate from morning till night? LDR kayo right? Medyo mahirap kasi talaga mag succeed yung ganyan unless both of you really commit to making it work.

Yung friend ko na may french bf, LDR din sila, in the beginning they rarely communicate and very chill lang no expectations, no pressure, no talks about the future. Basta pag andito yung guy sa philippines nagkikita sila, unti unti they got closer and became serious. Now 5yrs. Na sila and counting. Still going strong and LDR pa din.

Baka na pressure siya, since serious na agad and siya naman nag initiate nun he kinda bit of more than he can chew. Akala niya kaya niya hindi pala. Or he maybe he sensed na you want more than what he can offer at the moment. It?s not what you say kasi it?s the vibe or the energy we exude. Anyway try to learn from this na lang since you said madami nang red flags you just chose to ignore them. Madami pa naman guys out there. Good luck sis!

[angeljolie]

^Thanks sis. We started out intense kaagad and he was actually the one who was very clingy. And yes he said hindi nya inexpect it's going to be this serious (duh!). From the beginning naman actually sinabi ko sa kanya that I want to get married. Sya naman he was looking daw for a long-term relationship pero ayaw nya magpakasal because he came from an ugly divorce. But when he met me daw he was considering it. So nung una pa lang I suggested na wag na namin ituloy since magkaiba kami ng gusto. But he insisted na we try.  When things got serious, ayan ayaw na nya. There could be other reasons, but it's pointless to try to figure them out. He's 50 na btw. So red flag na talaga yan na hindi sya ready for family life. Ayaw ko na rin naman balikan.