Online Dating

[Girltalker2]

From the beginning naman actually sinabi ko sa kanya that I want to get married. Sya naman he was looking daw for a long-term relationship pero ayaw nya magpakasal because he came from an ugly divorce. But when he met me daw he was considering it. So nung una pa lang I suggested na wag na namin ituloy since magkaiba kami ng gusto. But he insisted na we try. 

That's fine naman. Understandable. Given di sya from satin, malamang malaki Binayad nya sa divorce. Men really suffer in divorce proceedings kasi. Women are more protected elsewhere (unlike sa atin).

And if you really enjoy each other' s company, there's nothing wrong naman in keeping in touch.

Yun nga lang, mahirap if you fall. Kaya to prevent this, don't settle with one lang. meet Lang ng meet, tapos you can select mga 2-3 friends. Getting to know Lang naman. If di ok, then drop one, move on, select ulit. Ganun naman Yun 😄

Hanggang sa talagang serious Si guy, desedido to pursue you AND you yourself have decided na ok sya maging future partner... iyan 2 criteria ko (with my checklist of course), tsaka nalang idrop mo ibang dates/friends. Pero in your case, if kasal talaga objective mo, you shouldn't stop your search for a partner unless the guy has given his intentions to marry you.

At this stage of your friendship, wala pa kayo sa level na dapat kasalan na pinag uusapan nyo. Parang masyadong maaga.

[angeljolie]

^Thank you. Pero for now pahinga muna ako. Ayaw ko muna mag search. I feel really exhausted.

We actually didn't talk about marriage after the first time we did (which was in the beginning). But he knows it's what I want. Hindi ko naman sya prinessure but I guess the pressure has always been there dahil alam nya yun ang hinahanap ko.  We had to talk about what we wanted to avoid wasting each other's time. Kaso, ganun din ang ending. Hay.

[amethyst028]

^baka nga may pressure pero maybe he did consider it with you, alam mo naman pag bago ganyan talaga medyo kainitan yan. Some guys start out intense pero habang tumatagal sila yung nanlalamig. Pa fall kung minsan. Madaming ganyan e, siguro kasi hindi pa rin nila alam ano talaga gusto nila. Or they just want to be with someone badly then pag andiyan na they get cold feet.

My bf is 47 but never married so from the very beginning he made it clear na he wants to get married. 1month pa lang kame he said na kung sabihn ko daw na magpakasal na kame he would do it. Pero alam ko kasi na he really didn?t mean it. Ganyan lang naman ang mga guys kung ano ano sinasabi in the heat of the moment, yung tipong hindi pa kasi kayo intimate or after nyo maging intimate and medyo high on emotions pa. Sa isip ko tignan natin 1 or 2yrs. from now kung ganyan pa rin ang sasabihin mo sakin pag kilalang kilala mo na ako. that?s when i know he really mean it.

Try and try. Ganyan lang naman talaga. Pag nahanap mo na yung right guy you?ll be glad you didn?t end up with this one that?s for sure.

[angeljolie]

^True. Feeling ko nga he's a chaser. Pag tapos na ang chase, game over hehe. Actually, lahat ng relationships nya after his divorce, short-lived (another red flag diba). At ang rason kung bakit nagpumilit mag file ng divorce si ex wife was because he was a serial partygoer hehe. He always hung out with his friends kahit selos na selos na si wife at that time. Si ex wife nya is in a relationship for 6 years na with the same guy. So I guess baka nasa kanya talaga ang problema. Baka commitment phobic? Though they were married for 15 years. Yun lang, hindi ko alam kung ano ang quality nung 15 years na yun. 

[kvandenhaak]

Kumusta na, online daters? I hope everything is doing well.

I am doing well. We are doing well. It's slow but consistent. I like it that way. But Eric texted me last night...lol! Nakapagpalit na rin ng phone finally. Single pa rin si Balbas. But said he wants to date an Asian this time. Goodluck kako and don't forget what I told him about dating Pinays...lol!

Anyway, online date can be exhausting sometimes. Kaya dati, I deactivate my account for a period of time to regain my sanity...lol! Between the 3 relationships, I have at least a year gap.

[kaya_3]

I went out several times to meet and date some guys from online dating apps. Of course, they do have different personalities. Most of them are for hook ups pero di naman lahat. But sorry, I am not into such.

I met my ex bf sa isa sa mga dating apps. So yes, it's risky. You should definitely know what you want when you go for Online Dating. Be smarter. 

[angeljolie]

^Yay finally may nag update LOL! Glad things are going well for you guys. Akin na nga yan si Eric! Chos!

So ako naman ay naging active ulit sa market last week. May mga nakausap ako pero wala pa talaga akong motivation. Kaya tinigilan ko muna ulit. Though may isang FilAm na kachika ko (as in purely friendly lang). He's 42 at kaka divorce lang last month. Masaya sya kausap pero feeling ko nga barkada kami. Nakakaliw kasi barok sya mag Tagalog. Pero ang saya na Tagalog ang conversation. Mas free flowing. But anyway, wala itong dating potential. Parang therapy lang kumbaga.

Eto namang si papa P (for Pranses [na chef] hehe), tinext ako nung Sunday.  Nagsorry at namimiss nya daw ako. Long story short, kami ulit. Tignan natin if it's going to work. I decided I would just let him do what he feels like doing.  Narealize ko, I shouldn't stop him from doing the things he wants to do.  Buhay nya yan, he decides how he wants to live it. Either I take him or leave him. Hindi ko na sya tinetext as much. Hinahayaan ko sya na sya ang mag initiate ng contact. So far, palagi naman syang andyan. Pero sinabi nya ulit na madami talaga syang get-togethers ngayon hanggang matapos ang Christmas holidays. Like bukas, Thanksgiving. Naappreciate ko naman na nagpapaalam sya. At natutuwa naman ako na sya yung nakipagbalikan. Magaan ang loob ko dahil alam kong hindi ko sya pinilit pero bumalik sya. Nasa saken na lang kung tatanggapin ko sya nang buo. We'll see in the next few months siguro. For now, I'm choosing to be happy.

[kvandenhaak]

^LDR ba kayo? Ganyan din ang approach ko kay athlete, di ko masyado tine-text. I let him initiate. Masarap sa pakiramdam din kasi nga na sila yung makikipagbalikan or mag-i-initiate. And as long you enjoy each other's company, no need to overthink. We saw each other last Saturday, it was fun! Funny thing is among the three relationshisps I had, sya yung pinaka least serious pero mukhang mas magtatagal pa kami...lol! Goodluck sa inyong dalawa. Hope things works out well.

Busy ata si Balbas, di pa sinasagot yung text ko today asking him what phone did get instead. I thought he was gonna buy an iPhone X.

[angeljolie]

^Thank you. Yes LDR. Mahirap pero okay din kasi hindi ko din naman kaya ang physically demanding na relationship ngayon.  And yes we enjoy each other's company, especially if we don't overthink (he sometimes does too eh). Kanina he went to happy hour by himself at katext nya ako all the while, masaya. Then when he got home, tinawagan ko sya and it was even more fun.  So wait and see talaga ang motto ko ngayon hehe.

Good luck din sa inyo ni athlete! Minsan mas maganda talaga yung wala or minimal ang expectations.  Regarding Balbas naman, hehe baka fickle minded si kuya.

[powaqa]

Need a little advice mga sis..

Six weeks ago, I met a guy online and we've been chatting daily for almost 2 weeks (5 - 8 hours a day). In that period andami naming napag-usapan, we've both shared a lot about ourselves, some past relationships, our friends and our families. 2x din kaming may konting disagreement brought about by different POVs and statements taken out of context but we've quickly cleared and patched things up and continued talking. It was all fun and a great flow of conversation until we had differing opinions. At some point in our 3rd disagreement, he decided that we better part ways na lang. It's been a month already since we stopped talking and I want to ask how he is doing. Is it alright kaya to message him? (He removed me from his skype contacts sa PC pero apparently not in his mobile app since nakikita ko pa status nya and last log-in). I admit I developed feelings for him with only a short span of time. I wonder what he'll think if I message him out of the blue? Is it okay to reconnect or should I just let go?

[Girltalker2]

^ good to hear naman na you?re enjoying your friendship and continue to get to know each other more.

Lower your expectations nanga lang siguro at wala pa kayo sa stage na Super serious.
So currently, maganda din to start mingling rin para Hindi ka super Ma-fall sa kanya, like how sis kvandenhaak does

Happy dating!

[kvandenhaak]

Narealize ko, I shouldn't stop him from doing the things he wants to do.  Buhay nya yan, he decides how he wants to live it. Either I take him or leave him.

Tama. You can't really change a person. And with men, it's better to be part of their world. Don't change them because it won't work. As long as it's not illegal or immoral then just go with the flow. Eto ngang si athlete, hindi talaga sya texter even from the beginning, even before we met in person. Although I told him already that I like it if he can at least send a text a day, that would be nice pero hindi sya talaga ganon and I can't and won't change him. And I won't ruin the fun for something so petty like that. One time, hindi ko sinagot ang text nya to see what he will do. Text ng text sa dalawa kong number...lol! Hindi ko na rin tiniis and I replied. Now that it's winter and his sports is winter sports, mas lalong busy. Between work, training full time for competitions, daddy duties and playing hockey eh halos wala ng time for me. And I know between those, I won't be the first priority. But he is trying so that's good enough for me. Last Saturday, he came from training when he went to my place and was really tired at may eye injury pa from playing hockey.

[angeljolie]

^^Thanks, GirlTalker2! Yep, ganun na nga lang, I'll try to lower my expectations. Less stressful din for me. Sa mingling part, medyo wala pa talaga akong motivation. I mingle with my friends though and it helps a lot.

^Tama, I will just go with the flow too. As long as he's there and I can see his effort, go lang. Nung naghiwalay kami last week (actually parang di naman talaga hiwalay but a short break from each other), tiniis kong wag makipag communicate talaga kasi sabi ko I will leave him alone eh. Finally, sya na yung nag text at nag sorry. Talagang sometimes we need to give them the space they need. I guess it's true din for everyone. I had some realizations too nung hindi kami naguusap.

[Girltalker2]

One time, hindi ko sinagot ang text nya to see what he will do. Text ng text sa dalawa kong number...lol! Hindi ko na rin tiniis and I replied.

Hahaha
This is so funny! Nagawa ko rin ito before sa ex colleague na naka date ko. Kasi ba naman di nagparamdam so akala ko wala na. So move on nako. Aba after 2 weeks mag text ba naman. Bahala sya mabulok dyan aT pinag antay din ako ng 2 wks.
Tapos di ko expect na pati email ineemail ba naman ako. Tawag text and all. Hanggang sa I replied narin haha
Pero itong guy na naka date ko, talagang player lang. kasi nawawala talaga. In the end after 3 months of seeing him, I ditched him din.

Sis Jolie, I know your current guy is interesting. Kaso based on experience, like this ex colleague of mine I just mentioned (call him G), medyo nagustuhan ko sya and he was the only guy I was dating at that time. Little did I know na mahulog loob ko sa kanya. Nung di sya nagparamdam, that?s the time I realised I have to mingle, kahit di ko feel. Dito ko nameet yung current bf ko (Si F). Bf ko now - when F asked me out, feeling ko friendly date lang. tutal mukhang mabait, sabi kasi ng officemate ko single sya, sports minded and very honest guy daw etc etc (binuild up nang gusto hehe)
So kako sige nanga Habang nag aabang ako Kay G, para maaliw naman ako. So during this time I learned to date and mingle with F and others, para di ako naka focus Kay G.
Kaya kapag tawag nang tawag Si G, ignore ko lang, magpaka busy ako with other dates.

Hanggang in the end, nung 2nd time na ginawa ni G na mawala. Tinapos ko narin aT ako ang nawala talaga sa buhay nya kasi by then, I got to know others and in particular, si F who is a gem in my eyes.
That?s how I fell for F. It started as casual lang pero God led me to him 😊

[kvandenhaak]

^I also don't mingle with anyone anymore. But I do talk to the two bagets (Lucas and Eric) who I met before the athlete. Pero I don't talk to anyone new anymore. Eh kasi I feel guilty kasi, when he came back after a brief hiatus he asked me if I am seeing anyone else. I said no and he said he is not seeing anyone else as well. And he confirmed it again last Saturday. However, palagi kong iniisip that things can change in a blink of an eye. Maybe today we are doing well, bukas iba na ihip ng hangin. I take the opportunity pag I don't hear from him for a couple of days to re-adjust my focus.

@angeljolie: Your boy Eric...lol! and Lucas were the one who told me that sometimes guys needs their space. Hindi daw sila katulad natin that can multi-task. Basta ba hindi palaging MIA then we gotta gave them the space they need. Eh sometimes di ba, we need to choose to be happy than to be right?

[angeljolie]

^^Glad it worked for you. Ako kasi, medyo takot ako sa karma. Naiisip ko, what if he does the same to me? I know people would say he could be doing it, but personally, ayoko na sa akin magsimula. I tend to protect my relationships. Ayoko isubject ang sarili ko to temptation. Let's just say I think there's a right time to mingle and now isn't that time for me. Baka hindi lang din talaga ako magaling mag multi-task LOL!

And thank you ladies, malaking tulong ang mingling natin dito sa totoo lang tee hee!. Ok na muna ako sa ganitong klaseng mingling.  At least sa ganito, very minimal ang chances of being rejected. hehe. I hate rejection eh.

^LOL my boy Eric talaga?! Love it! Salamat sa wisdom kamo!

[amethyst028]

Glad everyone is happy sa lovelife. In my case we met sa fb so i don?t know if pasok kame dito sa online dating. Bf asked me to marry him. I said yes. We are planning next year maybe december or could be earlier. Simple wedding lang coz we plan on using the money to buy a bigger place.

@angeljolie buti ok lang sayo kahit na sinabi niyang he doesn?t think he is ready for a family of 5. Don?t expect him to change his mind. He said for a reason. Not to sound nega pero kasi ako rin may anak ako and i can?t continue seeing a guy na hindi ok sa ganung set up. Unless of course binawi na ni french guy yung sinabi niya.

Advice ko lang is if you want a serious relationship or marriage choose a guy who is ready na rin. It?s better if you are both on the same page. Before i don?t believe in that, i thought a normal relationship is suppose to be challenging. Also choose a guy who knows your worth, who treats you like your are the best thing that?s ever happened to him.

[mysterioza_me]

Advice ko lang is if you want a serious relationship or marriage choose a guy who is ready na rin. It?s better if you are both on the same page. Before i don?t believe in that, i thought a normal relationship is suppose to be challenging.

This is so true. Napakaimportante talaga yan. With my current partner I asked him directly talaga if he?s just looking for a quick hookup or serious relationship na. I told him na kung makikipaglaro lang siya then makikipaglaro lang din ako sa kanya. Kung seryoso siya seseryosohin ko din siya. At least we both know what to expect in our relationship. Online din kami nagstart and so far happy naman and we are still on the same page.

[angeljolie]

^^Thanks for the advice sis. If you look at my earlier posts, I mentioned that he knows what I want from the beginning.  And my situation won't change alam naman nya yan. Hindi nya pa explicitly binabawi na hindi sya ready for a family of 5, but what's the point of getting back with me, right?  I know there shouldn't be gray areas, and that's what we're going to clear up when we see each other in January. Before the short break, he said we need to talk and make plans. For now, I'm banking on that. Pero don't worry, I'm keeping my expectations low LOL. I'm not expecting him to change his mind, but he should at least offer to compromise.  I'm not saying I'll accept his offer. Maybe I would or wouldn't.  It depends on how much it would affect my kids. Actually, sa simula pa lang, binigyan ko na ng ultimatum ang sarili ko hanggang April next year. If nothing is clear by then, it's over.

But thanks for all your thoughts, sisses. Highly appreciated.   I'm not taking your opinions lightly, sa totoo lang, pinagiisipan ko din naman itong mabuti.

[Girltalker2]

^I also don't mingle with anyone anymore. But I do talk to the two bagets (Lucas and Eric) who I met before the athlete. Pero I don't talk to anyone new anymore.

Ganun nga, it doesn?t mean na you will find new dates. Puede din naman your 2 other guys ang Friend mo if your current guy is always not available.
Para lang Hindi 100% focus sa kanya.
But siguro depends din sa tao. Sakin I?m sure mahuhulog loob ko if sya lang ng sya ang kausap ko.

Eh kasi I feel guilty kasi, when he came back after a brief hiatus he asked me if I am seeing anyone else. I said no and he said he is not seeing anyone else as well.

Depends din siguro kung ano usapan nyo. In my case when I was dating, im very open in telling them that I also date others. Kasi I?m not convinced yet na worthy kami sa isa?t Isa. In fact, I encourage them (especially the younger ones) to also mingle and meet other women.

Kasi at the end of the day, ayoko na dahil dine-date nya ko happy na sya then later maka meet pa sya ng iba na gusto nya. Mas gusto ko, hanapin nya talaga if ako ang para sa kanya at wala na syang mahahanap na sa tingin nya na magiging masaya sya, tsaka kami magsabi na exclusively dating kami.

Like one pinoy I met, he was 4 years younger than me. Single sya in his late 30s. I told him na he should see younger women kasi he will eventually Want to have kids and I am not that person. But he called again and wants to see me, just for company. I?m flattered din naman and since di ako busy, he was fun to be with. Galing kumanta as he has his own band.
This guy was also a player. But he was a perfect gentleman. Ang ayoko eh sya nagsasabi sakin he doesn?t want younger women and he said he doesn?t want to see others. I told him he should as I do. Yun pala I found out later from a friend of ours that he was also seeing others.
So ang akin Lang, why do you have to lie? I?m ok with you seeing others sabi mo ayaw mo. Yun pala sinungaling ka. So I just dropped him. Sabi ko nalang go see others, I?m not for you. 

My bf is 47 but never married so from the very beginning he made it clear na he wants to get married.

Talaga? 47, straight, never been married!

Oh pero he has a kid na before right? So technically he had past relationships na. At first kasi nagulat ako, coZ such men don?t exist anymore unless something is wrong. Haha
Sobrang sceptical na kasi ako.

Though may isang FilAm na kachika ko (as in purely friendly lang). He's 42 at kaka divorce lang last month. Masaya sya kausap pero feeling ko nga barkada kami. Nakakaliw kasi barok sya mag Tagalog. Pero ang saya na Tagalog ang conversation. Mas free flowing. But anyway, wala itong dating potential. Parang therapy lang kumbaga.

Keep him as a friend. Nothing wrong. Di ka naman committed pa sa current friend mo.

Ako kasi, medyo takot ako sa karma. Naiisip ko, what if he does the same to me? I know people would say he could be doing it, but personally, ayoko na sa akin magsimula. I tend to protect my relationships. Ayoko isubject ang sarili ko to temptation. Let's just say I think there's a right time to mingle and now isn't that time for me. Baka hindi lang din talaga ako magaling mag multi-task LOL!

I respect your opinion. If you think that?s right for you, chill lang!

Sakin naman iba Ang kwento kasi ng love life ko it started out as casual dating, and right from the start, they know
- I?m not planning to get married or have a bf soon
- I?m enjoying my single life but I want male companionship
- walang intimacy as we are not that close, but I?m interested to get to know people

So lahat ng guys na naka date ko knew I?m into multiple dating. Kasi I haven?t found anyone worthy for me to focus my time. (takot Ma inlove at maging luhaan)

Had a couple of proposals for exclusive dating. But first one was pinoy, walang Spark eh. But he was nice. He was younger than me by a year. He knew about my opinion on Pinoys and he actually lets me hold his phone and wallet para daw Hindi ako mag Duda. I didn?t pursue him, he was a really genuine nice guy. Met him in one of my sport activities.

?medyo takot ako sa karma. ?
Kaya wala naman karma if you come clean right from the start

?Naiisip ko, what if he does the same to me??
Ako Super ok lang talaga sakin, only 1 condition - I want to know and ought to know as I?ve been transparent to them. He just needs to tell me and be honest. Ok lang.

? I know people would say he could be doing it, but personally, ayoko na sa akin magsimula.?
Ok lang if he is doing it at nagsasabi sya. Kasi if he is not telling, that makes him a liar and therefore ayoko ng kaibigan na sinungaling.

? I tend to protect my relationships.?
Sakin depends on what stage na ng relationship. If it is not serious pa naman (ie meaning wala pang family members involved, wala pang intimacy), for me, there?s no relationship to protect. And if ever we come to a stage of protecting our relationship, this is supposed to be done by BOTH man and woman. Di lang Isa.

When my current bf proposed to me to date exclusively, Sya talaga nagpakilig sakin and convinced me he is committed to get to know me. He was vocal na walang Ibang dates, please. Let?s focus on each other. When I initially met him, wala guilty feeling kasi alam nila my status. Then I wait for the guy to ask. Para sakin, if he is truly serious, ayaw nya na May iba kang kausap or date. Sya mismo mag volunteer lets stop seeing others. Then that?s the time ako Napa isip. if may future ba or may kahihinatnan, at sya ba ay worthy for me to stop mingling. Sa totoo lang, F was so consistent, never nawawala, determined, never made me feel a single tinge of doubt. Kaya ako na convince he may be the one I?m looking for. And turned out, sya pala 😀

In your case sis Jolie, mukhang nalampasan nanga ninyo itong stage na lets stop seeing others? Kaya siguro you are somehow committed to him and not mingle na. Can?t date others na...
Kala ko kasi nasa getting to know palang kayo. Kasi sya mismo mag alinlangan urong-silang eh. I Guess this is kinda complicated pag ldr since you don?t see each other often, pag nagkaron ng misunderstanding, you don?t know nasan na ulit kayo.


Sorry... Haba na... haha 😂