problems of our kids sa school (bullying etc..)

[RuChe]

Sorry to hear that sis. Sobrang nasa-sad ako for you and your kid. I'm also a mom and mas masakit sa tin kung ganyan nangyayari sa kid natin. Ano daw ba ang kakaiba sa kid mo at bakit sha nabu-bully? Sinabi ba sa yo ng teachers nya? And dapat hindi nito-tolerate ng school ang bullying. Parang they don't care enough sa mga nabu-bully. 

If you'll ask me, I'll have him checked sa developmental pedia. I think he needs to be assessed on what kind of help he needs. Yan din kase ginawa ko sa kid ko. Tho hindi naman sha nabully pero drastically bumaba kase grades nya in a span of 1 year. From being consistent honor nagka-line of 7 na sha sa class card because of a number of things including those you mentioned - no assignment, incomplete classwork, not participating in class activity, etc. Nag-OT (occupational terapy) sha for one year. Medyo magastos but he needed it to boost his confidence and to focus in class. Ngayon nasa honor na sha uli ng class and I'm happy na ok na sha. 

We just need to know the root of the problem first before we could come up with a solution. I really hope na maging ok na son mo and ma-overcome nya to.

[slickchick]

sis magnetmom, i agree with sis RuChe. perhaps you can try consulting a developmental pedia, para ma-check if your son has special needs. baka kaya hindi sya maka-adjust sa traditional school because of those special needs. he might be more suited and he might learn more sa SPED (special education). if i were you sis, try consulting muna a dev pedia, before you finally decide to transfer him to some other school (like progressive ones). at least you would know ano ba yung current situation ng anak mo, and you can find a school environment and setup that would fit his situation. baka yung mismong dev. pedia ay may mai-suggest sa yo na school for your son. hope this helps.

[1choi_ko9]

sad, kasi ganyan din ang pakiramdam ko.. I've 2 boys.. my eldest is 8 y/o at si bunso 4 y/o pareho na sila na pinapasukan ng school ngayon ( Catholic Schools) Grade 3 and nursery level.

Ang panganay ko madalas umiiyak pagdumadating sa bahay since grade 1 pa, kasi lagi daw syang pinagtutumpulan ng tukso sa school bus, that time hindi ko masyadong pinapansin dahil sa tingin ko sadyang ganung lang siguro ang mga bata. Dahil aminado din naman ako na makulit din ang anak ko.. pero ngayon grade 3 na sya, nag-worry na ko dahil dumating na sya sa punto na ilipat na sya ng ibang school bus kasi nandyan nasasampal sya  at nakakaranas na masakit na salita ang sinasabi sa kanya tulad ng papatayin kita.

Then, lalo akong nag-alala even sa classroom, madalas syang ina-asar nandyan na sasabihin pa syang special child at itong huling sumbong nya physical na... even 8 y/o na sya late ang maturity nya kasi ganito sya magsumbong. Bakit ganun mommy ang sakit ng upper tummy ko kapag dumadapo yung kamao ng classmate ko sa kin, hanggang buto masakit???

Naiyak ako noon time na yun, sinabayan pa ng grades nya sa math and science (failed)
Sa totoo lang, aminado ako na mahilig sya mag-imagine even during his class at napaka-playful nya  kaya madalas wala syang assignment o di natatapos yung ginagawa. Pero ang di ko matanggap nakikita ko sa anak ko na low moral sya at even his self esteem or confident naapektuhan sa mga nangyayari.

Kaya naghahanap kami ng solusyon, nakipag set kami ng meeting sa guidance counselor at sa mga teacher nya (math, science at adviser).

Una naming kinausap yung guidance, sinabi namin ang lahat tungkol sa panganay naming anak. Attitude nya, academic concern and of course yung bullying na-eencounter nya sa school bus at sa loob ng school.
Then after that, dumating yung 2 teacher nya.. Math and adviser.. Maganda naman ang approach namin especially sa math teacher.. sabi naming mag-asawa kung may maibibigay ba silang tulong  para maka cope up yung anak ko sa subject nya. Sagot ba naman nya 'WALA AKONG MAITUTULONG", siguro kasi iniisip nya wala kami ginagawa para sa anak namin. Kaya, sinabi ko sa kanya 2 y/o pa lang yan  ini-eenroll ko na sa mga progressive summer program (readiness for school), tapos nung naipaalam din namin sa kanila tungkol sa bullying na na-eencounter ng anak ko. Sagot ba naman sa kit ng math teacher, di mo sila masisi kakaiba kasi anak mo..

Pero para sa kin, kahit siguro anong sitwasyon.. Hindi nya dapat sabihin yun sa isang magulang na humihingi ng tulong para sa ikakaunlad ng anak nya.

Till now, natutulala pa  rin ako kapag na-aalala ko yung conversation na yun.. Ano dapat kong gawin? Gusto ko sanang ipasok sa progressive school anak kaso sa ngayon out of the budget ako.. Ano ba talagang dapat kong gawin??? Naawa ako sa anak ko..

Hi sis,

Unang una mali ang pagsagot sayo ng ganon nung mismong teachers...considering teachers na sila ha... Obviously, walang compassion sila for their students. And no wonder why most of their students are bullies... kase bully din teachers...joke.

Kakagaling ko lang sa isang conference about how to handle and manage children with "bad" behaviors. It is conducted by PGH Developmental Pedias and other organizations. One symposium there talked about bullying. And one speaker from DepEd talked about their Child Protection Policy, link is under sis ViewTY's post.

It is really sad if there are kids na nabubully and ng bubully. Definitely may problem at home yung mga nambubully. Sa inasal naman nung teacher sis, you can try to call the attention of their school head. If wala pa din, approach mo na by calling muna DepEd.

As a parent wag mo balewalain mga sumbong ng anak mo sayo. Kase repetition ng bullying can cause so much toxic stress on your child and this could mean long term (I also learned from this sa conference). They need someone to buffer what they feel to help them soothe their feelings para macalm yung emotions nila. And children may feel they are protected. Right now your child needs your utmost attention and understanding. But try not too over react too much kase your child may feel humiliated na baka isipin naman ng classmates sumbongero etc... Do it in such a way na it will not threaten yung feelings and emotions ng anak mo but at the same time he will feel na you did something for him. I hope this helps...

[SnowBall]

Mga sis, naka relate ako sa topic, kasi recently umuwi ang anak ko na may tusok ng lapis sa braso. It broke my heart, pati si hubby super worried, kasi hindi namin pinalaki ang anak namin para lang saktan ng ibang tao.

Tinanong ko yung anak ko kung sino ang may gawa, hindi daw niya kilala kasi ibang section, grade 1 lang siya. Hindi naman na ako nag sumbong sa school, basta tinuruan ko lang yung anak ko, na sa susunod na may gagawa sa kanya ng ganun, or sasaktan at tutuksuhin siya, mag sumbong sa teacher, o sa kahit sinong adult dun sa school, para ma reprimand yung bata on the spot mismo.

And sabihin sa akin kung aawayin pa siya ulit nung bata.

Minsan kasi, aminado naman ako, nasasaktan ang anak ko, kasi through rough playing, kaya sabi ko sa kanya, huwag muna makipag laro sa boys, since ang mga lalaki, medyo rough talaga silang kumilos.

Agree din ako sa inyo mga sis, na kailangan turuan natin ang mga anak natin, na sila mismo ang maghandle nung nambu bully sa kanila, kasi tama naman, hindi nila tayo palaging kasama, and dapat matuto sila on how to handle them.


Proud mother lang ako kasi yung anak ko talaga, very friendly, tapos hindi nananakit ng ibang bata, hindi din marunong gumanti kapag sinaktan , tapos very peace loving siya, unlike sa ibang bata na gusto eh palaging nang aaway.

Recently lang may naka friend siya na bata na medyo hindi maganda ang ugali, ang gusto nung batang yun, kapag hindi niya type yung isang kalaro nila eh paalisin sa grupo nila, napaka siga, kaya I told my daughter na tigilan ang pakikipag laro sa batang yun, and huwag gagayahin ang ginawa nung bata, kasi hindi maganda na mang aaway ng ibang bata kahit wala namang ginagawang masama sayo.

I also told her to learn how to choose her friends well.

Sana nga mga sis, maging safe palagi ang mga anak natin, and sana pati yung mga bully kids, they'll find peace.

[moonie]

The moment you find out that your child is being bullied, especially if medyo physical na, you alert the school and teachers to it.  Para mabantayan ng teachers ang lahat mga bata -- yung nabubully at yung nambubully.  Hindi pa kasi nag-iisip yang mga yan.  Those bullies probably don't understand what they are doing is wrong.  Akala nila laro lang, nakakasakit na pala sila ng kaklase. 

You can't just rely on instructing your child how to handle bullying.   Huwag mo nang hintayin matusok pa sa mata ng lapis yung anak mo.

[SnowBall]

^ you're right sis, problem ko, hindi daw kilala ng anak ko yung tumusok sa kanya ng lapis. Nakausap ko yung adviser nila, iru-room to room daw ang anak ko, kung maituturo niya yung bata, hindi kaya trauma lalo yun for my kid, big school ang pinapasukan niya ngayon.

Masakit na nasaktan ang anak ko, ang mas masakit, hindi niya kilala yung nanakit.

[PinkAbyss]

May sis-in-law problem din niya ang bullying. ginawa niya kinakaibigan niya ang mga mommies  na  nambubully sa anak niya para magkakasama sila during parties. yun nga lang magastos. hehe.

[Kady_14]

I have two kids, nangyayari ata talaga 'to lalo sa boys. Wala naman bullying issues sa daughter ko.

My son then was kicked by a boy classmate ng walang dahilan to the point na umiika sya paguwi and masakit daw, si boy classmate eh mas maliit sa kanya, payat and dahil ang orientation ko eh wag pumatol/manakit wala siya ginawa. I wanted to talk to the teacher, pero ayaw ng asawa ko. Normal daw yun na ngkakasakitan.

Hahaha madami magagalit sa akin, pero i just wanted to be honest here. Bnrief ng asawa ko si son to teach this boy a lesson, as boys daw kasi they should establish early on an image na "hindi ka ka-bully bully". lol.

As girls kasi and mothers we have a diff POVs on how to handle these things. Kumbaga teach them to fend for themselves kasi kapag nasimulan daw na binully, gagawin nang katawa tawa baka till HS pa. 

[marose17]

^ I agree.  We should teach our kids early on how to stand up to bullies without necessarily resorting to physical vengeance.  I learned in an anti-bullying seminar that bullies often prey on people they deem as weaker than them.  May profile actually ng batang nabu-bully, usually awkward kumilos, loner, lacks self-confidence, etc.  Bullies can sense when another is weak kasi deep inside, weak din sila dinadaan lang sa pambu-bully to give them the illusion na malakas sila.

[RuChe]

Usually daw me problem sa family yung mga nambu-bully. Like wala yung parents, lolo at lola lang ang kasama or walang time ang parents sa kid. Kaya kulang sila sa pansin at gusto nila lagi magpapansin. And one way is through bullying.

What I did was to help my child boost his confidence. I enrolled him in taekwondo.    And other physical sports (soccer). Me set of friends na din sha na mababait naman, kaya hindi na din sha nabu-bully.

[ceejhei]

^sorry to hear what happened to your kid sis magnetmom. Talk to person in charge higher sa mga teachers. ang rude nila, hindi pu-puwede sakin yan.

kady_14, i agree with you. tama yan, may kwento sakin si hubby. na-bully daw siya nung gradeschool, sa don bosco siya nag aaral, meron daw laging kumukuha ng baon niya at binabatukan daw siya, higher level ito, one time daw sobrang napikon siya kasi sumosobra na, you know what he did? hinampas niya daw ng T-square si boy bully. ayun, natigil mambully sakanya, he got suspended but at least nawala na yung nagbbully sakanya. :p he shared this kasi may niece ako, binubully sa school kinder pa lang sila, kinakain baon niya at kinukuha mga ipit sa buhok ng niece ko, at tinutulak daw siya kapag nakatayo. so, sabi ko sa niece ko, "bigyan mo ng isa para mag dala" kasi if you let them hurt you or bully you, eventually kakalakihan mo na na ganun eh. so better teach them their lesson.

[KVsWahmmy]

my child is entering preschool (nursery level) this coming June, and one of my greatest fears talaga is bullying. My daughter kasi has this patch of white sa scalp nya, and the hairs that grow there are white also. Hindi mo mahahalata agad, unless sa malapitan (according to her pedia, possible vitiligo daw sa scalp. have to observe pa kung magexpand. anyways, that's another story). My fear is baka tuksu-tuksuhin sya ng classmates nya, e hindi pa naman marunong gumanti yung daughter ko. Pag sa play area, 'binabraso' sya ng ibang kids, iiwas na lang yan. And kahit ginaganun sya, nakikipaglaro pa din sya sa mga batang ganun, nginingitian pa. Kill them with kindness ata ang technique ng anak ko. Nung nakita ko one time na ginanun sya, gusto kong sabihing gumanti sya (hehe), pero I realized hindi tama yon. So I told her na lang na pag may ginawa sa kanya na di maganda, paluin sya or saktan, to hold out her hand and say 'Stop, that's painful' or 'Stop that's bad.' Sana magawa pa din nya if may magbully sa kanya sa school because of her white hair. I tell her, pag may tumukso sa kanya about it, just tell the other kid "I'm beautiful" and then turn away. I try as much as I can to tell her na she shouldn't call people names like 'fat' or 'ugly' or whatever else. I try talaga kahit alam kong pag nasa school na sya hindi maiwasang makarinig sya ng ganun sa iba. At least I can probably instill in her the idea na it's not a good thing to do.

In my observation, sa play areas lang ha, pag naglalaro yung mga bata on their own. May mga batang sadyang ummm, pisikal? Yung if they don't get their way biglang namamalo, or nanunulak. Nalulungkot ako when I see parents na nakikita nila na ganun ang ginagawa ng anak nila sa iba, pero deadma. Hindi nila pinapansin, hindi sinasaway. I once approached the parent of a child na pinalo yung anak ko sa playplace for no apparent reason. Sabi sa akin eh "Wala ho akong magagawa ganyan po talaga maglaro ang mga bata." Kung hindi naguumiyak yung anak ko, nasermonan ko talaga yung parent na yon. So pag namalo yung anak mo ganun na lang, hahayaan kasi bata? Hindi naman sinabing paluin mo, pagsabihan lang para alam nyang mali. In a way, this is one of the possible beginnings ng pagiging isang bully. Yung matolerate ng magulang yung ganung behavior dahil 'bata'. Sometimes what a parent doesn't know is, it instills in the mind of the kid na 'ok lang mamalo' na 'ok lang manakit ng ibang bata' dahil hindi naman sila nareprimand for it.

Saka siguro dahil na rin sa culture natin, lalo na pag sa mga lalaki, na tinuturuan maging 'aggressive' dahil that's the manly way of doing things. Wala naman masama maging 'assertive', physically aggressive is another thing though. Sabihan natin once, twice, thrice,, at hindi sumunod, it doesn't mean we should give up. It just means we should be more consistent pagdating sa pagdisiplina.

We have huge roles talaga as parents to prevent our kids not just from being bullied, but from becoming bullies themselves.

[twelvth_goddess]

^Tama ka sis, ang daming parents who find hitting acceptable especially pag boys ang anak nila. Lage din nagiging reason ang 'wala tayong magagawa, bata eh'. Of course, we cant expect kids to behave all the time and minsan pag naggigigil or they lose control because of having too much fun minsan hinde naiiwasan yan but it doesnt mean that parents should let it go. Or baka din kase nakikita sa house or napapalo din yung kids kaya the kids themselves find it normal and acceptable -- mas nakakalungkot yan.

I share your sentiments sis and I guess for all parents din naman. I worry about bullying. My daughter is very sweet and nice to other kids palibhasa wala syang ibang kasamang kids sa house. When she goes to Gymboree or play areas, she's very polite to the other kids (says excuse me, please, sorry, and thank you) and when other kids get rowdy parang nasha-shock sya. Pero she has a temper too, nung isang beses may foreigner kid sa Gymboree na super likot and nagpu-push ng ibang toddlers. Lumapit sya sa daughter ko and started to pull her shirt for some reason. My daughter looked at me and my husband tapos sabe nya sa kid 'stop' and hinawakan nya yung arm ng bata and turned her back on him.

Tama yung ginagawa mo sis about not calling people names. Samin bawal yung mga 'fat' 'ugly' etc. Laitera na nga ko eh ayoko nang ipamana sa anak ko ang hinde magandang ugali na yan. I think one of the things that we can do as parents is to boost our children's moral so they will grow up secure about themselves. Most of the time kase bullies pry on kids na mejo mababa ang self-esteem and yung feeling nila hinde lalaban sa kanila. I cant promise not to teach my daughter to retaliate pero I will definitely teach her to stand up against bullies.

[DV]

We have huge roles talaga as parents to prevent our kids not just from being bullied, but from becoming bullies themselves.

I agree. We were in this play area. One of the boys pushed my child. Yung tatay nung boy tumingin lang, walang ginawa pero we both saw it. So I let it go. On our way out, may nakasakit--pushed or kicked another child of that father. Sinigawan nya yung batang nakasakit sa anak nya, at  syempre nagalit yung nanay nung batang sinigawan nya. Ang ending nagsigawan yung dalawang magulang sa play area and caused a commotion. What a way to set an example to their children. As parents dapat we should watch our behavior din in handling these matters.

[Kady_14]

^ lately na lang kasi nauso yang play areas na yan, haha. Mga kids ko nun maliliit pa sila mga pinsan nila kalaro nila kapag pumupunta sa bahay or kapag kami ang pumupunta sa kanila.

Nakakatakot nga, may kakilala naman ako kinagat bigla yung daughter nya sa play area nung batang lalake, nang gigil siguro. Meron din iba naman nakapila sila sa counter ng grocery, waiting for their turn karga nya yung daughter nya na 1 yr old pa lang nun, sinampal as in ang lakas nun batang lalake sa likod. - eto naman sorryng sorry yung parent nun bata.

Mahirap din kasi sa ibang parents di nila tinuturuan ng manners ang mga anak nila, hindi porket bata eh di makakaintindi. Nung maliliit pa kids ko me manners book ako, i read that to them and tell them the "golden rule" all the time. Hindi sila nananakit. Well except for my son who was provoked hahaha...

Siguro the best thing to do is talk to the parent, pamukha mo na hindi niya tinuruan yung anak nya. lol

[KVsWahmmy]

I agree with you sis Kady_14, best to talk to the other parent talaga. kasi parang kung like dun sa situation na describe ni sis DV, yung bigla na lang sinigawan yung anak, medyo offensive din siguro dun sa parent kahit na yung anak nung parent na yon naman ang may fault din talaga.

nakakaloka din minsan ang adults no sis DV? hindi naman siguro kailangan magsigawan para pagusapan yung nangyari, they can sort it out as adults without the shouting part.

[cutiecam]

Hello mga sis,ano ba dapat ko gawin,i have a son na nasa grade 1 (6yo) makulit dya sa makulit like tayo ng tayo nagpadevelopmental pedia na dn kami and inconclusive adhd acc to dr,the thing is,may classmate sya (who is a lot bigger than him) na binubully sya,like last week,inihian sya while nagwawash daw sya ng hands,tinulak daw sya and naubtog sya sa flatform,before that madami pa,like sinubtok daw sya sa ulo,etc,nalaman namin yung bata eh may adhd din na on medication...kinakausap ko teacher nila na bakit nagpapang abot,and i told them to transer either one of them ng sec,lately napapansin ko pag kinakausap k yung teacher nanakit na din daw anak ko,he tends to copy the kid din....always ako nakikipag usap sa guidance na,and still di pa din sila napapaghiwalay,sabi ng guidance sakin,so naiinis na ako,my son is very playful ,kaya kahit sinasaktan sya bukas bati na ulit,may meeting nanaman kami on monday sa level coordinator regarding his behavior,naawa ako kasi naproprovoke sya,siya lagi nasisita.its hard na makipag usap sa school knowing na,paulit ulit yung pinag uusapan.

[fairywinkle79122]

aww so sad naman pag yung anak mo sasaktan ng ibang kids ano?yung pamangkin ni hubby,may adhd,grabe ilang kick-out na..last dito sa ateneo,pinatanggal na sa school kasi nanakit na naman..yung batang yun kung hindi mang iistorbo mang agaw ng toys,manunulak or mananakit,mangangagat gaya ng ginawa sa classmate niya dati..kaya ayun sa MI pinasok..naintndihan ko naman mahirap at di ginusto ng parents na ganun yung anak,pero nakakainis rin pag nananakit diba?lalo na kung may ganyang kundisyon dapat ilayo mo na kasi kawawa naman yung mga batang sinasaktan niya..

[guilleanne]

ano naman kaya masasabi nyo sis sa reklamo ko sa school ng dau ko.

she's in nursery. i like the except for this issue. may daddy na nakabantay sa dau nya sa loob ng classroom. mga 2 months na ang klase di pa rin nagpapaiwan yung bata mag isa sa classroom.


the teacher is also a guy. sinabihan lang once yung dad tapos di na inulit. ewan ko kung nahihiya or what. kaya kanina nag complain na ko sa office, sa may ari ng school. tignan ko lang gano kabilis aksyon.


and yung anak ng daddy maldita din, although friend din ng anak ko kaso trouble maker, lagi niyaya mga friends nya mag ingay at maglikot, tapos yung teacher hesitant tuloy sawayin the little maldita kasi yung dad di rin nagsasaway.


at nag tatablet lang sa loob ng classroom yung daddy at may baon din syang snacks nya. me and the other moms wonder kung dapat nag cocolor na rin sya at nag a-abc.


the dad pala is a young dad siguro nasa 19 to 21 lang siguro.

[lovely_carrot]

kamusta naman yung nangbubully sa anak ko. i learned about the incident last night kaya up to now, nanggigigil pa din ako.

to begin with, the bully is the niece of the school owner, she is also the president in their grade 2 class. my daughter is a transferee, the p.m section is apparently block mates from maybe prep or grade 1 so lahat magkakakilala na except sa kanya.

initially sa a.m class anak ko but since hirap gumising nilipat namin sa hapon. eto na, nagsimula na yung problema the bully would tell her other classmates not to talk to my daughter, not to play with her.  siguro kasi nga sabi ni "president" kaya sinusunod nila.

pag wala ang teacher si bully taga lista ng noisy, ewan kung bakit sasabihin ng teacher na bawas ang grade pag nasa listahan na yun kaya ayun hindi na tuloy nagsusumbong ng anak ko sa teacher nya.. hello, they are kids, they're supposed to be noisy, right? konting kibot ng anak ko, noisy. magdo drawing na nga lang daw sya to pass the time, bawal. school ba yun or bartolina?  i wrote a letter to the adviser and ginawan naman ng paraan, nilipat daughter ko ng upuan sa harap, but apparently hindi enough, kasi naulit ulit, kahit yata teacher takot sawayin kasi pamangkin ng may ari. bull crap!

the worst incident happened yesterday. my daughter was peeking into the a.m grade 2 class checking her former classmates, this bully pulled her pony tail, my daughter walked backwards (habang hawak hawak ni bully yung buhok nya) up to where the p.m class is supposed to line up. mind you napicture ko talaga yung hitsura nya and kaya ako nagalit ng husto. the poor girl couldn't do anything. at 8 pm, tumawag ako sa school, sa galit ko yung nakasagot ang napagbuntunan ko ng sama ng loob.

later in the afternoon, i'm speaking with the adviser, possibly with the bully's mom too kasi lagi naman sya nandun sa school to supervise i guess and i will raise hell talaga pag walang umintindi sa complaint ko.

hello, hindi ko inire ng 8 oras ang anak ko, hindi ako nagbabayad ng almost 30k na tuition para lang hilahin ang buhok nya sa school. ano sila sinuswerte?

to think galing ng public school ang anak ko ng grade 1, 40 students un and never ko narinig na may nangbully sa kanya, this is a mix of kids, where you'd expect mas rowdy sila, mas magulo tapos sa "supposedly" good school pa nya maranasan?

hay naku, hell hath no fury like a mother who's kid is being bullied in school..