problems of our kids sa school (bullying etc..)

[pomegranate]

^^ While it is obvious that the other kid has issues to be dealt with, bullying is not limited to physical aggression, pang-aasar or verbal taunts is a form of bullying as well 

A scheduled conference with the parties involved looks like the best way to handle the issue to see every perspective. Hope that it will be resolved

-----

While the school admin really plays a role in handling the issue, IMO, it is also necessary for the parents to have a role in the intervention. Possible kasi na hindi rin alam ng parents ng bully. The issue here is what provokes them, and more often than not, nasa bahay ang root cause. Both children, the "bully" and the "bullied", needs help.

Some have this mentality that they are "just being kids". Yeah sure, they will outgrow it but oh boy, I tell you it does leave a mark and a bad one at that.

[lilsaintsm0m]

Apparently I found out na the YAYA was the one teaching her alaga to punch anyone and everyone who gets in his nerves.
Sabi ko nga sa teacher kung makapreklamo naman akala mo ang tino tino ng bata.
Kita ko lahat ng pangyayari sa school nila araw araw ako andun, kung reklamo lang eh pwede nako magkaroon ng logbook lahat ng batang yan may sanctum na. Kung sa matatanda nga di nawawala ang away bata pa. And 4 year olds lang sila di naman lahat ng cases eh pambubully ang ginagawa nila. Simple petty things lang ang pinagaawayan na nauuwi sa arguement.
Part parin talaga siya ng growing up kung iisipin mo parte talaga ng buhay yan hanggang pagtanda.
 It depends on the gravity of the situation. If hindi tayo magiging open sa ganyang mga cases malaking gulo ang mangyayari. Dapat magkaroon ng proper handling sa ganitong cases at mainform din ang parents ng mga bata how to deal with the given situation.

[dyubi8]

Im disappointed with Elizabeth Seton School in BF Resort Las Pinas.

Yesterday my son went home with a medical slip. I asked my 5year old son what happened, apparently his classmate pulled his chair while he was showing his artwork. He dropped on the floor and bruised his back.

I immediately sms his teacher and told ask her if she was still in school that afternoon so i can talk to her regarding the incident. She replied that she was in a meeting and she already talked to the girl and was promised she will not bother my son anymore. My son was telling me that this girl has been bad to him the past few days and told me he'll be switching seats with another classmate.

Today i sms his teacher and told her i would appreciate if the kid's parents wil be informed as I am not happy about it and ask her where can i raise the concern. I did not get any reply.

Now what i have in mind is this school has been tolerating bullies!

I also called the teachers attention when i saw bruises on my kid's lower arm and he told me it might be because another classmate hit him.

I am so disappointed i am considering of transferring him to a better school. A school who would handle these kind of issues properly and coordinate with parents as well.

[stormy]

Sa tingin ko na pag ang tingin ng tao sa pambubully among kids ay normal lang sa mga bata e makakalakihan nun bata na ganun ang paraan ng interaksyon sa ibang tao.

Very apologetic yun teacher ng anak ko nun nagkausap kami, dahil d nya nakita yun mga pangyayari.

Buti at may nakakita kasi ayaw ko na mangyari na nasa akin pa ang burden para patunayan na may nangyari in case dumipensa pa yun parent/s nun bata.


Nag offer yun teacher na ilipat ng section yun bata pero nagpakatao ako, sabi ko willing ako bigyan pa ng chance na baka kahit d maging friends e pwedeng mag exist mga kids na walang sakitan. Pag kako umulit pa dun ako aaksyon.

[prettygretchen]

My son is "suki" sa mga kids na bully. One time his ka-service punch him in his tummy. Hindi siya nag fight back instead umuwi sa house ng badtrip nag wawala. Pinalampas ko. Grade 2, same ka-service bully talk him with the exact line bully kid: "ang pangit ng lola mo!"
My son: "mas pangit nanay mo!!" hanggang sa napunta sa mga grandlola's at lolo ang labanan. This bully kid keeps teasing my son "bading" kasi too friendly.

Paguwi niya sabi niya "mommy i dont like to ride at my school bus anymore ". Ako naman as a mom sobrang hurt, kasi bakit ganon dba? So plano ko kausapin na yun mom nun bully kid kasi since grade 1 ganon siya sa anak ko eh. And my advise to my son, "kasi naman babe, minsan show them how strong you are! Maya grade6 ka na lang lagi ka bully nyan. If he touches, punch you again punch back. Mas malaki ka sa kanya!"

And ito sabi ng mabait kong anak "mommy wag ka nga mag isip ng ganyan magagalit sayo si Jesus. I will never fight back". My reaction aaawww tanong ko sakanya "eh pano kung punch ka niya again and loko na bading etc" sabi ng anak ko "ok lang bad an nag ffight malaki naman tummy ko mag bbounce lang un punch niya"

Share lang. Super cute! And he knows how to solve his own problem at age 7.

[mommy_cel]

my daughter is not all together being bullied.  but a big boy in her class has a crush on her and really bothers her all the time.  theyve been classmates since 2010.  and since 2011 schoolyear he developed his crush on my daughter and really bugs her a lot.

i have talked to the mother but she is walang kwenta also.  kinilig pa ang nanay.

the thing is buti kung admiration lang.  but here are some things that he did that i find really bothersome:
1.  pinupupog ng kisses sa face yung anak ko during a school program.  so my daughter inis na inis na couldnt concentrate.  the audience found it funny at first but eventually became irritated dahil ayaw tigilan ng big boy na yun yung anak ko.
2.  my daughter said she fell sa stairs because the boy was pulling her insisting they walk down together.  eh malaking boy nga, mabigat.  hinila ang anak ko ng patakbo.  ayun nahulog ng 3 steps anak ko.  buti hindi nabalian.
3.  he got mad at my daughter when my daughter said she doesnt like him.  he said kasi "i like you.  you should like me too"
4.  in a school presentation, my daughter was supposed to be partners with another kid.  but this boy kept on pulling her for her to be his partner.  she lost concentration and hardly moved on stage and was bad mood na tuloy.  i felt bad about too because i even made her costume for 5hours.  as in todo tahi ako.  super prepare kaming mag ina for the presentation only to be ruined by that boy.  my mom who visited the country watched the program and was equally irritated as well.
5.  he keeps on bugging my daughter in the classroom anytime he feels like it.  as in my daughter said teacher got mad at them because she thought my daughter and the boy were not listening during lessons.  she insists that she wants the boy away from her during class.
6.  madami pang iba.

the thing is, i talked to the mom and raised the problem.  and the mom is kilig na kilig pa.  i told my daughter, when the boy is bothering you or youre mad na at what the boy is doing, sumbong mo sa mommy nya.  because my daughter's yaya cant make pakialam naman eh.  i told the yaya never to scold other children, she should also just call the attention of the mom. 

the mom just brushed me off saying "eh mga bata yan eh" .  the thing is, i never taught my daughter anything about crushes and liking someone.  she is only 5 years old for gods sake.  she doesnt have "crush" in her vocabulary yet.  apparently the mom pa ata ang nag tuturo sa kid about those things.  tuwang tuwa na may crush yugn anak nya kahit na its freaking me and my daughter out na.

that big boy is every classmate mommy's worse nightmare.  everyone hates the kid in school.  he is bigger kasi than everyone else.  he is 6years old already and is a year older than everyone else.  and he is really big pero utal utal pa.  he punches all the boys and bothers the girls but most especially my daughter.   he ruined the class halloween party by punching a boy in class, infront of everyone ha, including the moms.  and then when he realized what he did, takbo agad sa nanay nya at nagsusumbong saying "eh kasi sya eh!" kaso si bigboy inaagaw yugn sword na kasama sa costume ng classmate nya.  sino may kasalanan kaya dun diba?

thank god mukhang ililipat na ng nanay nya next school year kasi pwede na sya mag grade one.  and pag lumipat na sila, makakahinga na ko ng maluwag.

[rianne_mallows]

^try talking to the teacher and see if she'll be able to do something.. kapag ganun pa din, raise the concern to the principal to have YOUR DAUGHTER transfered to another class...  IMO, hindi kasi nila pwede basta galawin si big boy because like you said,some think that its within the normal behavior ng kids.. so daughter mo lang pwede imove if ever kasi ikaw yung nagcocomplain

kapag sinundan pa din yung daughter mo, ilipat mo na lang ng school

[stormy]

^^oh my ano ba yun kinilig pa ang nanay, but then may ganyan nga na nanay iba2x kasi tayo ng tingin sa pagpapalaki sa anak. D nga bullying yan sis, harassment na

[Amphitrite]

IMHO, dapat yung bully ang nililipat ng section.

My son is the youngest in his class, hence he is the smallest. He is also very friendly to all his classmates.

The first few days of classes I noticed that his pencils and erasers keeps disappearing. So I put his name on all his things including his bag, ayun hindi na siya nawawalan ng gamit.

During the 3rd quarter, his teacher wrote on his DARB/diary that he didn't pass the assignment on 1 subject. I'm 100% sure that he has assignment on that subject because I'm the one who searched for cliparts online so that it will be easier for him to copy the drawing. I also noticed that there are 3 pages of his notebook that has been torn. My son's assignment took up exactly 3 pages because he wanted to put one drawing and name per page.

Last week, I saw on his DARB that he didn't pass his datafile for Filipino. Again, I know that he passed it because I helped him answer the datafile. I even wrote on his DARB that he'll pass the datafile on that day. I sms the teacher regarding this and told her the exact pictures we pasted on the datafile, I also wrote my son's name on one corner of each picture.

I always sms the teacher whenever there is something different that happened and every parent-teacher conference I make it a point to discuss what happened with her. She is always apologetic and I am very thankful to her as well.

Let's face it kids will always be kids but it doesn't not give them a free pass to purposely hurt or get a classmate in trouble.

[mommy_cel]

the teacher knows everything.  kaso they cant transfer the kid to another class, because isang section lang sila eh.  the branch in our condo of IMC is small lang.  so no choice but to endure 1 schoolyear with that boy.

they talk to the mother regularly.  kasi nga everyone is complaining.  background lang on the boy's family.
-kabit lang si mother of a foreigner.  the foreigner living in another country visits like every other year or so.  ibinahay sila sa condo and gives monthly stipend
-the foreigner father, being absent thru his son's life, gave strict orders to the mother na bawal pagalitan ang anak nya.
-the lola of the kid who lives with them in the condo, pwede mo ipa bantay bata sa sobrang pananakit pag naughty na si boy.  as in kahit sa kalye makikita mo hinahampas ng malakas yugn bata.  (pero after nun aacting nanamn na uugod ugod).

so when the teachers talked to the mother, ang reason ni mother nga, hindi daw nya pwede pagalitan yung bata dahil utos ng ama.  siguro takot na itigil ang stipend nilang mag ina pag nalaman ng tatay na foreigner na pinapagalitan nya. 

the teachers told the mother na hindi pwedeng ganun.  the teachers can teach the values inside the class, pero pag hindi ine enforce sa bahay, bale wala lang. the teachers assured me theyre really doing everythign they can.  and talagang nilalayo nila yugn anak ko dun.  and bawal daw sa kanila yung tukso tuksuhan ng kids regarding crushes.  hindi nila tinuturo yung ganun. 

natawa nga si teacher when i said "hay salamat lilipat na sila sa big school next school year!"

[hunny_ally]

i have a brother who was a "bully" and another who was bullied

the older one was some sort of a bully. may pagkapilyo kasi and sometimes may napagtitripan. i think it was only meant as a joke and not really to terrorize schoolmates. kasi i think bullying is a way of terrorizing. there was one instance, my brother and his friends hid the bag of a busmate as a prank. di naman siya daw ang may pasimuno but nahila lang to join in the prank. long story short, the mom of the kid called our house and berated my brother over the phone. take note, the mom asked for my brother and the clueless yaya handed the phone to him. sa takot ng kapatid ko he developed fever that night. my brother wouldnt tell our mom what the busmate's mom told him. she later on learned from the mom of my brother's friend kung ano yung pinagsasabi (tinawagan din kasi yung friend ng brother ko). kesyo daw wag sila magpapakita kasi ipapakulong sila. that they are bad kids and they are going to hell. imagine an adult saying that to a 7 year old? our mom and the other parents filed a complaint with the bus operator.

my younger brother naman is a bully magnet. on the heavy side kasi when he was younger tapos pikon pa, so madalas pag-tripan ng bullies. it really had an effect on his confidence. buti na lang hindi naman niya nadala to his adulthood.
 

[marose17]

^ When parents become bullies themselves, it does not help the "bully" hindi ba?

As parents, we must exercise discretion and temperance.  We are, after all, dealing with children, not adults.   

[ichelie]

@marose, i agree that when parents bullies their child and other kids too, they too become part of the bullying pattern.  i observed that in many cases.

as for Bullies and the Bullied, both of them have possible SELF-ESTEEM issues.  Some bullies tries to cover up for unpleasant feelings by getting their way through others.  While Bullied kids tend to be bully magnets as they keep repeating the bullying cycle & often the culprit of incidents.

Bullies are everywhere.  The task for us parents is to develop our child's self-esteem and train them with the needed life skills - in dealing appropriatly with other people and how they can deal with bullies and handle sticky situations.

the route when it happens in school is to talk to the teachers and other school authorities.  if sa school bus, its the school bus operator and the accrediting body of the school for the school bus.  its like looking for the proper channels.  but it would be unethical and inappropriate to talk to the child directly!

@hunny, good for your brothers na di nadala til adulthood.  many adults who were bullied as a child can trace their issues to being bullied or bullying as kids.  they still find it hard to decide as adults, cannot deal well with  others

[sashae]

I think mga sisters, every child in school will experience this.
Some are just minor incidents or di sinasadya butmahirap lang talga pag mejo malala na [textspeak!] incident.
My advice is: Teach your child not to make ganti or lumaban just tell what happened to the teacher or other authority what happened. Kase if they fight back, may tendency na mas lumala yung situation, syempre kahit hindi yung anak mo ang manguna tapos gumanti lang sya, pano pag nasaktan din niya yung gumawa sa kanya syempre magrereklamo din yung parents nung bata. Kaya better off anak nalang nila masama kesa sa atin diba? Well it works for me kase hindi nagiging violent yung anak ko and he knows very well how to control his temper.

[l4dybu6]

ang daughter ko din na bully sa school niya. umuuwi dami powder ng bag niya ang dumi dumi, binabasa yung assignments o projects niya, sinusulatan mga libro nya ng "trish panget!" at sinasabihan ng kung ano ano pa. sabi ko magsumbong sa teacher nya pero yung teacher niya sinabihan daw siya wag sumbong ng sumbong kaya tumahimik na lang daw siya, pero pag uwi dito siya sa akin nagsusumbong. ang sabi ko sa kanya lumaban na siya. tapos nung lumaban na siya, siya pa ang naging masama. ang sabi ng teacher, bakit daw ang anak ko ganun magsalita sa kaklase, nanunukso daw. e para naman sa akin tinuruan ko lang lumaban ang anak ko.

[hunny_ally]

I think you should step in and call the teacher's attention. It's one thing if the teacher doesn't do anything about the bullying cause she doesn't have any knowledge of it. But it's an entirely different thing if she is aware of the bullying and doesn't do anything about it. Worse she dismisses the student's reports of bullying. Mas lalong magiging malakas ang lob ng mga bullies cause there are no corrective actions being done by the school authorities

[rianne_mallows]

as a kid.. ang turo ng parents ko.. BASTA HUWAG KA MAUUNA ..  kung inisan/tuktusan.. mang-asar ka din.. kung pisikalan na.. mamisikal ka din..
may dad taught us how to punch.. as in yung solid punch..   hindi yung suntok/hampas ng bata.. pamboksingero talaga hehe.. nagamit ko na din ilang beses nung elementary

hindi kami sinabihan na huwag kayo lalaban.. ang turo samin, "huwag ka papaapi.. lumaban kayo kapag nadedehado kayo PERO kapag nalaman ko ikaw nagsimula ako mismo gugulpi sayo"  exact words ito ng tatay ko.. 5 years old lang ako nun pero tanda ko pa din hanggang ngayon... 

honestly, ito din ituturo ko sa anak ko.. kasi..

1. i would like my kid to know that no one has the right to do nasty things on them.. they have to defend themselves if need be

2. i want her to be able to defend herself because i wont always be around to protect her..
all i can do is prepare her and equip her with the knowledge and skills para maipagtanggol niya sarili niya

3. i also want her to know at an early age na kahit saan makaraing yung gulo niya, andun ako 100%
   
4. na kapag siya ang nag-umpisa.. yari siya kasi hindi ko yun kukunsintihin

[andygirl]

Ako naman yung daughter ko binubully ng classmate nya. Parating sinasabihan na I will not friend you kung hindi susunod yung anak ko sa gusto niya. At first, I just didn't mind it kasi normal lang sa mga kids yung mga ganyan. I just reminded my daughter to say NO if she doesn't like. Pero one time sa FB chat, I monitor kasi yung account ng daughter ko. Kung ano ano pinagsasabi ng classmate nyang yun. Actually best friend daw nya daughter ko. Siguro naiinggit sya kasi maraming friends ang anak ko aside from her and is always invited sa parties and playdates. Sya hindi masyado. Ginawa ko, prinint ko yung messages nya at binigay sa mom nya. Nagsorry naman yung mom. That was when they were in grade 2. Ngayon grade 4, naulit na naman. Sinabihan nya ng liar ang anak ko and she tells their other friends sa barkada nila that my daughter is a liar and that my daughter betrays her friends and don't include her sa group nila. Although sya lang naman ang nagsasabi nun and yung others wala naman. Syempre masakit for me na mabasa yun. Yung anak ko naman kahit anong turo ko na avoid na lang this girl kasi she is not a good friend pero dikit pa rin yung anak ko. Takot yata sya. I advise her naman to nit be afraid kasi equal lang naman sila. I talked to the classmate nga in a friendly way, sabi ko why do you send this kind of messages? You're still young and you should be having fun with your friends. Sabi ko, sige papangit ka at madali kang tumanda pag ganyan ka. Nag sorry naman pero I still monitor my daughter. Minsan naiinis na ko sa anak ko kasi hinahayaan nya lang na ganun pero I control na lang myself not to react so much. Kailangan marunong din sila mag deal sa mga ganitong situation.

[Mai]

^rianne mallows: i agree with you.

[broken one]

Hi. Share ko lang ang nangyari sa Grade 4 son ko. He was bullied since last year pa. From school service hanggang sa school. He went home one day and I've noticed that he had a bruised on his left arm. Sinabi nya na sinuntok daw sya ng classmate nya. Of course, I was really mad. Who wouldn't? Inaaalagaan namin sya tapos gagawing punching bag lang ng classmate nya? So my husband and I went to his school and talked to the OIC. They set a schedule for me and the other parents to meet. Unfortunately, di dumating [textspeak!] parents ng kid kaya di namin nakausap. The bullying stopped for a whie, siguro mga 2 months.  After the two month period, ayun inaaway na naman ang son ko. I always ask for follow up pero wala ng reply sakin ang school. I've noticed na sobrang submissive na ng son ko. Like he'll always say sa group work nila na , "ako na lang mama gagawa para wala ng gulo". I always tell him na he should defend himself pero ayaw nya kase natatakot na syang physically at verbally na masaktan.  I'm thinking of enrolling my son next year sa ibang school.  I don't know if this will help but I hope that the new school will not tolerate bullies. I feel hurt kase I don't know how to protect him anymore kc syempre pag nasa school wala naman ako. I just hope that the bullying will stop. Hindi naman pwede na lagi akong pumunta sa school para magfollow-up. Sana lang maging ok na talaga son ko.