Quarter Life Crisis

[pomegranate]

^ Hi sis airish_2, you know what, I might just do that. Thank you for re-validating my thoughts. I have a talent for self-introspection, but sometimes a nudge or a shove from someone outside of oneself plays a big role in taking a step. It also helps to know that someone out there had undergone the same experience 

I just want to share an "old" formula that I have rediscovered just a while ago while studying for a case: Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Reality is things just does not fall into place immediately or in ways we want them to be. The way I cope before with that reality is pursuing other interests that does not necessarily coincide in my field. It managed to open doors for self-discovery, self-development, and more importantly it provided an outlet for gratification and fulfillment by arriving at short-term goals. I've realized that I've been complacent and lazy lately, or I've been working too hard on a single long-term goal that I am seeing the impending doom of "stuck in a rut" feeling.

[iheartkulot]

Three mos nang deactivated ang facebook ko.

Nagstart yun, kasi nainis na ako. I mean, yep, I am happy for my friends..syempre...pero at one point, when everyone's getting married, posting pics ng ultrasound ganyan, and everyone's starting to ask why are you still single at 28..yeah, some people can be really insensitive. [textspeak!] tipong ang dating ng tanong is diba at your age dapat may boyfriend ka na or ikakasal na kasi mawawala ka na sa kalendaryo.

So there, just like that, I decided to deactivate. Nakakapressure na nga, nadagdagdagan pa ng facebook. So somehow, mas tumahimik ako.

[iheartkulot]

Just this morning, an officemate told me...oist, 28 ka na, kakapili mo, baka mauwi sa wala. Muntik na akong mapikon at sabihin, na "deserve ko naman mamili if ever meron pagpipilian diba? Kaso wala eh!"

Mahirap minsan at nakakainis na rin if paulit ulit kasi. To the point na malulungkot na rin ako at maiisp na bakit nga kaya wala. Tipong okay ka lang, trying to be positive pero when everyone around u is reacting that way...nakakadown minsan

[tey_roch19]

count me in! well, ang hirap pala nito super. parang lahat ng ginagawa ko may kulang. walang direction. this year ang pinaka magastos at pinaka nakakalokang ginawa ko. super nagpakasaya ako sa buhay ko. shopping, travel, at puro pasarap sa buhay. magulo ang utak ko at this year din naka 3 palit ako ng work. ang hirap kasi even if i ask my family to help me decide what to do, ako pa rin ang may final say. final decision what i want to do with my life. sobrang bored na ko. parang lahat mali. glad i read this thread and found out na di pala ako nag iisa. it's not too late kaya natin to mga sis.

[sweetashoney]

I'm glad I've found this thread, just reading your experiences, in a way, makes me feel better. Siguro appreciate what we have na lang at the moment and trust God that He has great plans for us. I have been feeling low for quite a while now, a ok work, no good friends, no kids (yet), not a homeowner (yet), not so close with my siblings and LDR with my mum, and heaps of sad thoughts, but I can and try to keep it together because of my hubby who is very loving, understading, kind to me. I don't want him to be sad just by seeing me sad, kaya when depression attacks, I fight so hard to overcome it. I must agree, malaking factor talaga ang facebook  kaya take a break na lang from browsing facebook muna when you need it, then balik ulit pag parang nawala si sadness.

[trfg888]

Bad News: self help books and advices, even though all well meaning will not be of much help. Lahat kasi tayo I think, unique ang circumstances and unique ang outlook sa buhay that pag may mga "down" moments na ganito, mahirap makahanap ng madali at instant na solusyon.

Good News: It's just a phase. Karamihan sa atin dadaan sa ganitong phase and like I said, dahil unique tayong lahat, ang outlook natin sa mga phases na ganito will be different. And the good news is, like any phase, may katapusan din lahat ng yan - and ika nga, you must learn how to roll with the punches.

Many years ago, I found myself in this situation. I was unhappy with my job even though it paid me well, allowed me to travel, etc etc. One day, there came a tipping point na sabi ko sa sarili ko, "that's it, I quit". So I tendered my resignation and the next day (buti nalang hindi mahigpit yung company sa akin) I flew abroad where I waited out my so called quarter life crisis. All that time, nakitira ako sa mga kamag anak ko - may ipon ako pero wala akong ginawa kungdi stay at their home and be their designated househelp, housesitter, driver, yaya, gardener, petsitter, etc. Nung naubos na ang angst ko, frustration, at more importantly, pera, sa pagss-soul-searching ko, I went back to Manila to find a job - any job - even if it meant that I would start from zero. But fortunately (and dahil sa tapang ng loob) I landed a better, if not the perfect job for me. Still stressful, but looking back, I wouldn't have been able to achieve what I have now if not for it.

All the time that I was in my crisis phase, ang pinanghahawakan ko lang talaga is my dad's statement na, susuportahan nya ako kahit anong maging decision ko - and to take my time in getting to that decision. Alam ko na hirap na hirap din kami sa mga panahon na yun, and to have one less income source was a big blow, but never nya pinaramdam sa akin na dapat akong mag-alala. Pag balik ko ng Pilipinas, ganun pa rin, parati nilang sinasabi sa akin na "kaya ko yan" sa anumang trabaho na ina-applyan ko.

So let me do the same for you - wag kang matakot to look for something better - kayang kaya mo yan.

Sis- very inspiring! Thanks for your encouragement!   kaya natin to! hehe 

[littlekinselle]

days, months have flown by I'm still confused and it seems nobody wants to listen to me even my parents'  I'm loosing hope gusto ko matagpuan kung saan talaga ako sasaya lalo na sa career ko na I want to change but I'm stuck. I feel so useless 
pag nakahanap ako ng opportunity na makaalis dito aalis ako.. at babaguhin ko buhay ko at gagawin ko kung ano ang gusto ko.

[littlekinselle]

^i share the same sentiment. di ka nag-iisa. and i'm still very very depressed. i'm just really trying to hang on somehow

sis what did you do every time you feel sad?? we have no choice kasi  noh?, we have to take a pause then when the right time arrives we'll be happy pray ko lang inner peace and peace of mind, there's so much reason to smile kaysa maging sad and it's not forever naman itong sadness na toh.. okay na lahat, sana bukas na yun hihi.

[sixteen16]

naramdaman ko na ito.. super nadepress ako so ang ginawa ko i deactivated my FB, twitter.. ilang weeks din ako nagpahinga.. feeling ko ang tanda ko na wala pa rin nangyayari sa buhay ko. hindi talaga maiwasan icompare ang buhay sa iba.. nakatulong naman ang pagdeactivate ng fb at twitter ko.. tumahimik ang life ko.. nung nawala na ang sadness ko balik fb na ako pero hide, block, unfriend ko yung mga taong nagbibigay sa akin ng kalungkutan. it helps!

nagpapakabusy na lang ako sa ibang bagay para hindi madepress.. thankful ako kasi my family at bf ako na laging nanjan sa akin para suportahan ako sa lahat ng plano ko sa buhay.

and syempre wag kalimutan magdasal.. kung ano man at nasaan man tayo ngayon.. may dahilan ang lahat. magtiwala na lang tayo sa Kanya.

[littlekinselle]

sixteen16 sis how old are you na ba?? we can't avoid talaga mag compare sa iba noh? pero sis we're also lucky in diff ways siguro  ako naman I divert na lang sa iba bagay para di ako makaramdam ng stress.. nanunuod ako ng mga comedy movies and cartoons like family guy the simpsons and so on. It helps din.

[sixteen16]

sis littlekinselle, 28 na ko..

[pretinnes]

when i was 25 i also experienced this. i want to resign from work and was wondering what my purpose in life really is. but eventually i was able to move on. from time to time i still doubt my abilities and question my success but i guess to each his own. what might be a success for one may not necessarily be for another. success can come in different forms: a happy family, lots of money, successful career or even just a simple and happy life. so what did i learn from the situation: stop comparing yourself to anyone. and this is my mantra in life: don't envy the almost perfect classmate or friend you have, you don't know what she's going through in life. and that everyone has a problem she's dealing with, iba iba nga lang ang weight. so there!

[jtansanco]

I have a strong feeling I would be able to get out of this by next year. Next year is going to be the make or break of my life. Hoping for the best.

[streetsmartgirl]

i thought napag-daanan ko na at naka move on nako sa quarter-life crisis na yan. or so i thought.

but 2 weeks after my bday, something really worst happened. i got terminated from my job after two months pa lang sa work. akala ko pa naman ito na yung dream job ko here in SG. actually ito tlaga dream job ko it's just that my boss is so hard to impress and very unforgiving. she just didn;t give me a chance to prove myself. just when i thought that when im doing all the right things in my life, this has to happen. akala ko this is my big break na in my career, the worst had to happen.

sobrang depressed ako now and i dont know how i will move on with this. all along, i never doubted my performance sa work. i graduated cum laude and sa past jobs ko top performer ako. so now i cant help but to question my life, my achievements and all. di ko alam kung pano ako magsisimula ulit. i feel so demoralize and have low self-esteem.

hello quarter-life crisis :'C

[jtansanco]

^ Mind asking what job is that? I guess it's just very strict there in SG so treat it as a learning experience. Find a job that is similar of what you did and do it better. At least now, you have the experience so you know you won't commit the same mistake. Push yourself harder. You said it's your dream job and attaining one's dream shouldn't be an easy road so you just gotta work harder for it.

Kaya mo yan. 

[streetsmartgirl]

^thanks sis. actually it was almost the same job i had in ph. sorry kung OT na. actually up to now confused pa din ako bat naterminate ako kasi kung kelangan work overtime at weekends pumapasok ako. and i believe i've done everything i could. siguro may shortcomings ako but nothing detrimental to the company. sabi ng officemates ko, it was also my boss' first time to have a subordinate. i just feel that i was released for her own personal reasons.

moving forward, maybe something else greater is meant for me. looking forward to better days.

[khymmmm]

Oh my! This is my exact sentiment too. I'm turning 24 this month and pakiramdan ko napag-iiwananan ako in terms of career. like most of my buddies are working out of the country pero ako, i'm still here. The only thing I do to avoid feeling depressed is traveling. Through that, i somehow feel na nag-eenjoy naman ako sa life ko. But I really wanna find a stable job abroad na. Ginusto ko pa maging FA just because my girl friends are flight attendants, and their work benefits are WOW! We're nurses btw. However,my long term goal is to become a nurse in Canada. Hay ang gulo talaga.

[sixteen16]

hello quarter life crisis! here i go again..

[littlekinselle]

hello quarter life crisis! here i go again..

u can share with us sis.
mejo nalalagpasan ko na kasi na eenjoy ko work ko kahit ibang forte yung pinagaralan ko.

[sixteen16]

last year nalagpasan ko na ito.. pero ito na naman ako ulit.. few months from now 29 na ko.. wala naman dapat ako ikasad.. masaya ang pamilya ko.. i'm still single pero may bf for more than 8 yrs. happy naman ako.. sobrang spoiled ako sa kanya. nabibili ko naman lahat ng gusto ko, nakakakain ko din lahat ng gusto ko.. ewan ko ba.. gara lang ng pakiramdam ko.. is it normal pa ba?