hi
Pareho tayo ng pinag dadaaanan. And mabuting napapag usapan ito kasi not everyone has the time or the effort to talk about things that really matter in life.
It is true that each and every one of us have this feeling of inadequacy. Maski tanungin pa natin ang mga anak nina Zobel at Ayala, they still have that feeling from time to time. Ang pinagkaiba lang nating mga ordinaryong mortal sa mga katulad nina Zobel at Ayala eh, ikinukumpara nila yung kanilang mga sarili sa mga negosyanteng mas mayaman sa kanila, o di kaya yung mga dugong bughaw sa Espanya na mababa ang tinin sa mga Espanyol na nasa pilipinas. Ofcourse I'm not saying that's true, but what I'm saying is, should they ever have some regrets in life, then their measure of success or failure is accoring to their standards.
I am sure that what the Zobels or the Ayalas feel is the same psychological and emotional response ng isang iskwater na nakikita na yung kapit bahay nya may bagong bentelador o di kaya bagong component samantalan sila, bumbilya pa din yung laman ng bahay.
Kaya it's relative din dun sa ka-level nila sa buhay. In your case, and in my case as well, especially for us Facebook users who have friends that are more or less the same social level as ours, it really is hard not to compare what we have achieved so far with what they have achieved. Some social commentators even say that Facebook is the 21st century form of the idiom "keeping up with the Jones."
This means, kung dati mejo naiingit tayo sa kaklase naten sa gradeschool na may bagong pencil case o di kaya yung sapatos na umiilaw ilaw, at least we only have to deal with those feelings of jealousy when we are inside the classroom. the problem with the Facebook phenomenon is that we are bombarded with photos of our friends' new ipads, new iphones, new cars 24/7 or even whenver we log on to our Facebook accounts. And it is very painful.
In my own case, when I kind of realized that glossing over my friends' photos of delicious food or vacation pics or the new phone that they have, I tell myself that
there are things that my friends are better at than I am, but there are also things in which I am much better at than my friends. For example, most of my friends have graduated from the Ateneo or De Lasalle. On the one hand, I feel bad because I was not able to experience the school spirit or the school pride attached to the name of my school. In the Philippines, iba yung dating pagka graduate ka ng ADMU or DLSU.
On the other hand, I feel good about myself because I got my undergraduate degree from one of the good universities in New York (But I live in Metro Manila). So yes, I feel alienated because I do not "belong" to the country's most exclusive schools. Naiingit ako pagka nag popost sila ng mga pictures nila na nasa UAAP game sila or whenever they wear the blue or green university jacket. But then, I realize, teka, iilan bang mga undergradaute students ang nakakapag aral abroad? Kung yung mga anak nga ng mga US Citizens, dito nag aaral kasi mahal ang school sa Amerika.
Now, that does not mean I don't have jealousies of my own, kasi nung nasa New York ako, I no longer compared myself with Ateneans or Lasalistas. I began to compare myself with the Ivy Leaguers with the question: bakit may mga ibang Filipinos na sa Harvard or sa Princeton nakapag aral, bakit ako hindi?
And oh my God did I feel terrible. It's terrible having that feeling that I'm the tail of the lion rather than the head of the rat. Until I realized, IT IS! It really is terrible to feel that way.
So I decided to come back to the Philippines where I know I can have an edge over a much bigger number of people. So ngayon, whenever people from the up and up ask me, san ka ba gumraduate, Lasalle, Ateneo, UP? Sasabihin ko sa New York po ako gumraduate. O diba?
That's my edge, but on that aspect alone. May mga ibang tao na ka-age ko na yung edge nila nasa Math, nasa Accounting, nasa Medicine, nasa business... and alam ko din naman na hindi ko kaya makipag sabayan sa mga ganun because that's not my forte. I'm sure you also have an edge over me in alot of areas as much as other people have their edge over us in other aspects of life.
I guess what I'm trying to point out is, for us people having quarter-life crises, let's try to to look into ourselves and find what our strengths and weaknesses are. Once we find our strentghs, let's move into an area where we can say "Oo nga, hindi ako katulad mo sa ganyang aspect, pero hindi mo ako katulad sa ibang aspect; youre good at what you're doing, but I'm also good at what I'm doing and in fact, I can do better than you in some things."
Last but not the least, eto lang yung observation ko sa mga taong nag popost ng mga gadgets or new cars or vacation pictures nila sa FB, and yes I am not generalizing because I have my own hang-ups but not in the way of material things but in other aspects of life: What I've observed is that some of these people have their own unique hang-ups in life and that theyre trying to compensate these hang ups by showing the world the things they can buy or the things they can do. This is especially true for some people who were born poor in the Philippines but have made it big time in the United States. It might look disgusting but it is a natural human reaction. (One can make the argument that kung ang taong yun walang hang up sa buhay, bakit kelangan pa nyang i-announce sa buong mundo sa facebook status nya na bibili sya ng Rolex kinabukasan o di kaya sasakay sya sa 1st class mula manila papuntang LA.)
It's all about our approach to these circumstances in our lives. For all we know, there is a deeper layer of story behind the picture. Some people post pictures of themselves in mansions they dont own or 5 star hotel rooms, pero nakatira naman pala sa condomium. Some people have pictures of themselves with a new ipad or a new iphone but for all we know they have to scrimp 6 months of their salary so they can afford the gadget.
Some people drive luxury cars in makati but for all we know, they might be having troubles with their amortization (which might explain why some luxury car owners in Manila still do not have e-pass or never bother taking SkyWay).
I'm not saying that we should be pessimistic about other people's successes. All I'm saying is, Facebook more often than not only tells one side of the picture.
