INTROVERTS - You're in!

[cheskacruz]

Am I an introvert din kaya mga sis?

When I was little and up to now, I can socialize with a lot of people but I don't really get so chummy with them and very close. I go to parties and with my work and business I need to socialize with different kinds of people but then there's always something in me that needs the "me time, alone doing my stuff".

My husband on the other hand anywhere mo siya dalhin he can mingle with a lot of people, kwento dito, kwento duon - I am at times like that, minsan I am the one organizing an event pa but hindi ako pala-kwento talaga. What has to be discussed or talked about yun lang. I enjoy laughing and daldalan with friends but hindi ko kaya all day like my husband. Most of the time ako si isang tanong, isang sagot. Except kapag kids ko ang kausap ko. 

There's always something in me na gusto ko mapag-isa lang, kahit with my kids, at work or sa business ko. Ayoko rin ng bisita sa bahay, if meron man I have to be informed and prepared, so that I can entertain them. Introvert din kaya ako? Madalas kasi gusto ko mag-isa lang din ako - even when I was single but I get to go on gimiks everyday when I was in college and during my single days but most of the time I just listen, join their kwentuhans a bit, pero I will just drink or dance. Hahaha... Weird daw ako sabi ng hubby ko but that's me. I don't really like parties or yung tumatambay para lang makipagchismisan like what he does. Feeling ko there are so many things to do than waste my time. Enlighten me naman mga sis.

[jtansanco]

^ Yeah, you're an introvert. We're somewhat similar. I love partying (clubbing) and would use to go out 3x a week BUT I don't usually talk when I go out. I just listen to what they say. It's kinda weird because I like to party but I don't like the mingling part. Parang mas masaya pa ko sa room ko with the club songs na nakafull blast.

Like you said, due to your work and business, you have to mingle. You just want business-related conversation and not the getting-to-know the people part. Then, there's also a part where you want everything to be planned or informed. Introverts don't like sudden changes. Like me, if may something out of the blue na mangyayari na hindi planned, nahihirapan ako i-execute because I wasn't able to prepare myself to do "it". Lastly, kaya mo magkipagdaldalan with your husband all day instead of with other group of people. We're the type na maingay pag 1-on-1 but when it comes to a crowd, we're the most silent people in there. 

[abuanddiego]

hello mga kakosa!

It was in college when I found out that I am an introvert, pero bata pa ako gusto ko na lagi lang ako mag-isa. I don't play that much with my sisters and cousins, kahit nakasabog ang mga toys all over ako parang "okay fine, maglaro kayo dyan ako manonood ng tv" I also have very few friends at school, 5 na ata pinakamarami. Basta hindi ako friendly, solve nako sa tv, reading, and doing arts and crafts.

Then during teenage years, pag sumasama sa hangouts, mixed ang feeling. I feel excited pag alam kong may lakad pero once andun na kami parang ang bilis ko mawalan ng gana. Tama kayo dun sa "draining ang company ng iba" parang gusto mo nalang umalis or sa isang sulok ka nalang after nyo magkita at maghi hellos to each other. Then during college years nung natuto na gumimik, gusto ko naman pumarty with friends sa bars, pero ako yung tipong tahimik tapos tingin-tingin lang. Kahit sa dance floor nakatingin lang ako sa mga tao, sabi nga sakin ng friend ko, "Hoy! Anong ginagawa mo? Para kang observer dyan!" Even sa school, or when we eat out, I love observing people. Basta masaya ako pag nagoobserve ako. Pero with close friends and family madaldal naman ako, basta kami lang ha, ayaw ko ng may iba silang kasama, pag ganun aalis na lang ako or I'll find some ways to excuse myself hehe.

Now that I'm turning 25, gaya ng iba sa inyo, okay lang sakin hindi magcelebrate ng birthday, nahihiya nga rin ako pag may naggreet. Super konti lang naging friends ko, at kahit I seldom go out, I still feel very fine. Loner na kung loner sa paningin ng iba pero happy ako sa ganitong buhay, I have my dogs naman, they're the ones whose bringing so much joy to my life, as in sa kanila lang umiikot mundo ko Eto pa, okay lang sakin to remain single forever, feeling ko kasi draining din ang marriage life.

[kenjiekenj]

Na experience nyo din ba yung tipong some people would misunderstood you as masungit, mataas, mahirap pakibagayan etc.?

[cheskacruz]

^ Yeah, you're an introvert. We're somewhat similar. I love partying (clubbing) and would use to go out 3x a week BUT I don't usually talk when I go out. I just listen to what they say. It's kinda weird because I like to party but I don't like the mingling part. Parang mas masaya pa ko sa room ko with the club songs na nakafull blast.

Like you said, due to your work and business, you have to mingle. You just want business-related conversation and not the getting-to-know the people part. Then, there's also a part where you want everything to be planned or informed. Introverts don't like sudden changes. Like me, if may something out of the blue na mangyayari na hindi planned, nahihirapan ako i-execute because I wasn't able to prepare myself to do "it". Lastly, kaya mo magkipagdaldalan with your husband all day instead of with other group of people. We're the type na maingay pag 1-on-1 but when it comes to a crowd, we're the most silent people in there. 

OMG, what you said are all true. Yes, I want everything to be planned, I get mad when my planned schedules are ruined. Sa one-on-one yes, maingay din ako at madaldal pero nowadays even in a crowd, nangingibabaw ang kadaldalan ko pero I do not start topics at all - ako si gatong madalas haha... And I do not go into details such as personal life ng mga tao, kung ano ang ikwento sa akin, hanggang dun na lang I don't dig deeper pa and madalas ako mapagkamalan na masungit dahil I don't talk unless you talk to me. Now I know, I am indeed an introvert. 

[abuanddiego]

^^yes always yan, introverts kasi are very private persons, hindi sila magsasalita unless kausapin, yung iba isang tanong isang sagot lang. unlike with extroverts, very friendly at open sila to other people, sige ng sige kahit first time lang magkita. pero pag magkakilala at nakapagkwentuhan na kami, sasabihin nila "luka-luka ka pala, akala ko noon ang sungit-sungit mo!" pero medyo totoo yung

masungit, mataas, mahirap pakibagayan

part simply because I choose my friends wisely, as in kung di kami magkalevel ng thinking, humor, wala talaga, hanggang acquaintance lang kami

[jtansanco]

Na experience nyo din ba yung tipong some people would misunderstood you as masungit, mataas, mahirap pakibagayan etc.?

Yeah, they say i'm masungit and mayabang but when they were able to get to know me already, sobrang opposite. Haha

[jtansanco]

Eto pa, okay lang sakin to remain single forever, feeling ko kasi draining din ang marriage life.

Well, i'm different on this one because hindi ako papayag to be single forever. I already consider my life so boring because of being an introvert so I really wish to marry someone someday. Only problem is... I'm turning 25 and I'm still single since birth. Love life is so cloudy these days..

[vainwriter]

Then, there's also a part where you want everything to be planned or informed. Introverts don't like sudden changes. Like me, if may something out of the blue na mangyayari na hindi planned, nahihirapan ako i-execute because I wasn't able to prepare myself to do "it". Lastly, kaya mo magkipagdaldalan with your husband all day instead of with other group of people. We're the type na maingay pag 1-on-1 but when it comes to a crowd, we're the most silent people in there. 

can totally relate to this...and sobrang nahihirapan yung husband ko dati sa akin because of this. if there are sudden changes parang nadidiskaril ako. all of these changed when we started travelling often. natuto ako to go with the flow. I also read the book Who Moved My Cheese? and that helped me alot with this

hello mga kakosa!

Eto pa, okay lang sakin to remain single forever, feeling ko kasi draining din ang marriage life.

hello! it's true na draining ang marriage life. you lose a part of yourself somehow, even if you try not to. when you get to a part na medyo rocky minsan maiisip mo "ano ba tong ginawa ko sa buhay ko! i was so happy when i was single!" pero after a while when things cool down, if you really found the right one, you'll realize why you got married in the first place. pero kanya kanya talaga yan, i know alot of single people (and yes many of them introverts :p) na hindi pa rin ready to settle down even at the age of 35.

Na experience nyo din ba yung tipong some people would misunderstood you as masungit, mataas, mahirap pakibagayan etc.?

Hay naku lagi! dati sa school inaaway ako just because of all these now naman yung friends ni hubby feeling nila mayabang ako and masungit just because i dont socialize with them (although sa totoo lang meron sa kanila na hindi ko rin talaga gusto and sinusungitan ko )

[kenjiekenj]

Guys, i really love this thread. We maybe introverts pero pansin ko we're all approachable to each other. Hehe..

Abuanddiego jtansanco
Sometimes naisip ko din na being single is related sa pagiging introverts natin. Kasi its our choice na maging ganito. Gusto natin ng tahimik lang and we're comfortable with this kind of environment. Wala tayo nakikilala because we prefer to isolate ourselves in a certain place.Pero naniniwala naman ako na dadating yung araw na there will be someone na magugustuhan tayo kahit ganito tayo. Its just a matter of a perfect timing. 

Vainwriter
I agree. Sometimes we are misunderstood by others but most of the time e ayaw lang din natin makagplastikan sa mga taong di natin feel. Ako I usually treat that kind of people as if they doesn't exist. Di ko nalang sila pinapansin tsaka alam naman nila sa sarili nila why I dont treat them nice its because theres something wrong woth their attitudes na hindi ko gusto.

Ayaw ko nung makulit na sobrang gaslaw.. Naiirita ako pag ganun. I want people who are sensitive with the mood of others, yung tipong wala ako sa mood mag ingay e sasabayan lang niya ako sa katahimikan. Hehe pero minsan may mga kakilala ako ganyan feeling ko pilit nalang yung pagiintindi sa akin. ako na mismo ang nahihiya 

[jtansanco]

Btw, introverts, regarding sa love life niyo, do you prefer a fellow introvert or the opposite?

Ito lang kasi napapansin ko:

Intro + Extro
= opposites attract na parang the other person is the missing piece of your life
= madalas nga lang mag-away because of the differences

Intro + Intro
= magkakasundo kayo definitely
= hindi kaya sobrang boring naman ng buhay niyo?

[cheskacruz]

Hay naku lagi! dati sa school inaaway ako just because of all these now naman yung friends ni hubby feeling nila mayabang ako and masungit just because i dont socialize with them (although sa totoo lang meron sa kanila na hindi ko rin talaga gusto and sinusungitan ko )

Sis, ako rin noon palaging nakikipag-away kasi napakasungit ko raw at mayabang, samantalang wala naman akong ginagawa gusto ko lang talaga silang panoorin at obserbahan... kaya I felt misunderstood when I was little, sa bahay and with my in-laws, nasasabihan pa akong walang respeto just because I don't mingle... kaya I learned to care less of what people say, wala akong pakialam hahaha... pero totoo friends din ng hubby ko ganun tingin sa akin, kasi I don't socialize with them, choosy lang talaga ako and feeling ko nakakadrain ang magdamagang kwentuhan at inuman unless I'm with my set of super, super close friends - those that I am very comfortable with. Medyo natuto na rin ako magstart ng conversations hindi man tuloy-tuloy pero at least nawawala na yung expression nila sa akin na makasarili ako - kahit di naman yun ang intention ko...

Btw, introverts, regarding sa love life niyo, do you prefer a fellow introvert or the opposite?

Ito lang kasi napapansin ko:

Intro + Extro
= opposites attract na parang the other person is the missing piece of your life
= madalas nga lang mag-away because of the differences

Intro + Intro
= magkakasundo kayo definitely
= hindi kaya sobrang boring naman ng buhay niyo?

My husband is an extrovert. Sobrang daldal at kaya niya kahit buong araw eh tumambay, makipagchikahan at uminom... minsan nga pag sobrang daldal nun, lumalayo ako naiingayan ako sa kanya hahaha... and yup madalas kami mag-away before but ngayon alam na namin ugali ng isa't-isa.

[kenjiekenj]

I think it really depends on the person, kung introvert man or extro as long as nagustuhan niya yung qualities then thats it. Naniniwala ako na nawawala ang pagiging introvert natin when it comes to love. kasi regardless of what the person is once you fall in love you'll learn to accept. Yun nga lang we're introvert kaya hirap tayo magenter in a relationship. Takot tayo baka mareject or mapahiya lang pero kung tayo ang susuyuin ng taong yun, intro or etro man siya, and kung nagustuhan mo talaga then yun na! 

[abuanddiego]

Btw, introverts, regarding sa love life niyo, do you prefer a fellow introvert or the opposite?

Ito lang kasi napapansin ko:

Intro + Extro
= opposites attract na parang the other person is the missing piece of your life
= madalas nga lang mag-away because of the differences

Intro + Intro
= magkakasundo kayo definitely
= hindi kaya sobrang boring naman ng buhay niyo?

sa akin walang kaso ang pagiging intro or extro nya, basta dapat sensitive sya sa feelings ng iba. like kung gusto nya gumimik pa with friends or meet with other people pero ako gusto ko ng lumayo, maiintindihan nya yun at hindi ako sasabihan ng kj, tapos ieexplain nya sa iba na ganun lang talaga personality ko hehe.

For me, "opposites attract" kind of relationship will not be as strong as with the "birds of the same feather flock together" relationship, parang sa umpisa lang daw kasi exciting yung super magkaiba kayo ng personality. but as you go on with life, marerealize nyo na mahirap talaga kasi hindi kayo magkasundo, puro arguments at wala sa inyo ang balak sumuko. Kung may mag-give in man, hindi rin sya magiging totally happy kasi pinagbibigyan nya lang ang partner nya.

With regards to: Intro + intro = boring life, feeling ko hindi naman kasi lumaki akong puro introverts din ang friends ko pero masaya naman kami. Masayahin kami as in tawa kami ng tawa pero sa circle lang talaga namin, kapag may others na nagiiba aura namin But once they get to know us dun nila malalaman na mga kalog pala kami. Siguro dapat na lang natin tanggapin na ganito talaga tayo, lifestyle na rin kumbaga so hindi ko masabing boring kung introverts ang magkakatuluyan kasi hindi ka naman hahanap ng partner na hindi ka masaya when you're together. Meron at meron kayong activities or pananaw sa buhay na kahit super boring sa paningin ng iba ay super exciting naman sa inyong dalawa.

-----
With regards to relationships, I agree na kaya marami satin ang single kasi hirap tayo to deal with people. Diba ang sabi nga nila, kailangan lumandi para mapansin, pero pano natin magagawa yun kung napakauncomfy ng ganitong feeling para sa atin? Ang hirap pa kasi the opposite sex would view us as mataray, intimidating and not interested pero ang totoo, nahihiya lang tayo at clueless tayo pano makipag-interact. Pano ba natin maeexplain to sa kanila kung sa introduction part pa lang bagsak na tayo. Hay naku ang hirap pala talaga maging introvert 

[jtansanco]

^ Onga e. Mas mahirap maging guy introvert kaysa sa girl introvert because guys are "supposed" to make the first move. There were lots of times na nakikita ko crush ko pero hanggang tinginan lang kami. In my head, I kept telling myself na "please, girl, kausapin mo ko! Once kausapin mo ko, ako na bahala basta kausapin mo ko!!!". Kaso hindi ko kaya e. Hahaha

[vainwriter]

In my case opposites attracted nga. sonrang hilig ng hubby ko sa barkada. as in nagkakaiyakan kami dati para lang matuto sya ng alone time...na syempre mastered ko naman. he only changed nang magkaanak kami. nung ljmaki na yung son namin panay na naman barkada...then we had another son so lie low ulit sya. mjnsan gumagawa ako ng paraan para hindi pumunta friends.nya *sinister laugh*

[abuanddiego]

There were lots of times na nakikita ko crush ko pero hanggang tinginan lang kami. In my head, I kept telling myself na "please, girl, kausapin mo ko! Once kausapin mo ko, ako na bahala basta kausapin mo ko!!!". Kaso hindi ko kaya e. Hahaha

hahahaha! I can relate with this! Marami rin akong ganyang moments, pero sa sobrang hiya, dumadaan na lang sila na parang bubble Ang dami nating "the one that got away" ano hahaha!

^ako naman parang hindi ko kaya na gumawa ng ways para mawala pagiging extrovert nya. I'm the type of person na very understanding at hahayaan kita sa gusto mo, pero dapat ganun ka rin sakin, I value my freedom so much, umiinit ang ulo ko pag may nagcocontrol or nagrereprimand sakin, mabilis ako magsnap pag ganyan so feeling ko bagsak talaga ako when it comes to relationships.

[kenjiekenj]

Daanin nalang natin sa songs ang lahat. Hehe ako i really love listening to music. Lalo na pag sobrang nakakarelate ako sa content nung song, i find it super relaxing.. Ganun lang kasimple ang kaligayahan ko

[jtansanco]

^ Yeah, same here. Best friend ko is Rx 93.1... Hip hop songs from the moment I wake up until I sleep. Without music, I would probably be crazy by now. Haha

[kenjiekenj]

Natural na ba sa inyo yung pagiging introvert? Or theres a certain situation that made you become one? Kasi ako I remember nung bata ako I love to mingle with others makipagkwentuhan, kulitan. Ngayon ko lang narerealize yan na parang dati hindi naman ako ganito? Dati nagagawa ko naman yung ganun? I keep on asking myself about it and yun nga narealize ko na baka theres something in the past that made me like this. Sort of rejections, ganun.

Having thoughts of it sometimes makes me miss myself before, pero ito na ako, i think I should love and enjoy being an introvert. Afterall ito naman talaga na ang nakasanayan ko for the past years and this is what I prefer na din.