After discovering that he cheated, how did u move on? ok pa kayo or hindi na?

[Girltalker2]

^ sorry to hear that sis. will pray that your operation will go well.

Pero sis, mahalin mo rin naman ang sarili mo. Hindi mo pa naman sya asawa. Marami pang ibang tao ang nagmamahal sayo. Your mom knows best. Listen to her. She has your best interest at heart, kaya lahat ng sabihin nya para din sa ikabubuti mo.

Sinasabi mo lang mahal mo ang BF mo kasi namimiss mo ang company na masaya kayo together. Kaso ang problem that is the past. And mukhang kahit magkasama kayo, it can never happen again. Ok na you have good memories of him. Kesa dagdagan mo pa ang mga bad memories, puede naman maging friends nalang muna kayo. Move on.  Hayaan mo kapag di sya nagpaparamdam.  Magfocus ka nalang sa health mo, sa family mo - na sure kang nagmamahal sayo.  Work on making yourself happy without him. Kaya mo iyan.

[miminibebe]

^Sis SweetieNela focus more on getting better, pagaling ka sis.  I know mahirap gawin at mahal mo nga si bf mo pero walang natutulong ang stress na binibigay niya.  Wag mo na siyang tingnan sa fb sis.
Mas mahalin mo ang sarili mo sis, lalo na ngayon. 

[yanmae]

Mga sis paano nyo po na-sense na may ka-b**** husband nyo? Bigla nalang ba kayong nakaramdam na may iba sa mister nyo?

[bwiset12]

^ Actually, ako at first walang clue na may ginagawa na parang milagro si partner sa abroad. kasi okay naman kami at preggy pa ko that time. nagkaron lang ako ng hinala nung nagbago sya. nung biglang di na sya nagparamdam. nakapanganak na ko that time. grabe, mamatay matay ako sa pag aalala sa kanya dahil baka kung napano na sya dun. yun pala imbes na kami ang ichat may kachat na pala na kasamahan nya dun. kung di nya ginawa yun, malamang di naman ako maghihinala at di ako mag iimbestiga. kaya nung inopen ko fb nya ayun, yung dati na akala ko eh wala lang na friend nya, yun na pala ang kabit nya.

[cheekeypie]

Woman's instinct! pag may something na nagbago yun na yun sisses.

It takes time to move on and get on with life. Kaya mahirap to, naexperience ko to and sobrang sakit talaga.

Siguro if you see that the person is willing to change and he deserves your forgiveness and you think you still love him then go for it! Dont let small things ruin something that is worth fighting for o giving another chance.
<Sabi nga sa isang movie..
I chose to stay with him for all the things that he did right and not leave him for one thing that he did wrong. >
<It’s sad when two people are meant to be together, but they’re both too afraid to do anything about it.>

I dont justify that these things are normal or that it is okay. Its not okay!

But if you see that its just something he didnt value at all or he didnt even learn a lesson or realize something from it, then you should let go. He's not worth it!

Girls, guard yourself, give high respect on yourself, love yourself more!

By the way, I married the person who cheated on me, we both take the risk because we believe that love is greater than our mistakes and failures! together learn from it and grow from it!

[cristina]

^^  Ouch naman ng mga experiences natin

ako din 10 years kaming magkasama and we had 1 boy then nag canada na sya wala pa syang 1 year dun ayun nagpakasal sya dun i was really devastated that time but sabi nga nila Time heals all wound

at first andun yung denial after naging galit na then acceptance tsaka forgiveness it takes awhile bago ako nakapag patawad ngayon teenager na anak namin meron na din syang 2 girls (yung isa nabuo sa pagkakasala nandito pa sya sa pinas nagawa na nya ko lokohin) ako naman i also have kids na din

We are Civil naman ngayon nakakapag usap ng anything under the sun

[googoo]

@SweetieNela as hard as it is for you right now, you will have to let go of your bf.  Siguro hindi ka niya ganun ka mahal.  Your parents are there naman to support you.  Cling to God and your family.  If ngayon palang, ganyan na pinapakita ng boyfriend mo sayo, wala lang talaga mangyayari sayo.  You have to focus on your health.

[cheekeypie]

Agree with Googoo, sweetienela :-)

Value yourself more and focus on your family and friends.
always keep in mind that theres more to life than having a boyfriend.

[PinKisH_23]

I want to know what did you do after you discovered that he cheated on you and what did you do to move on?

*** I still haven't moved on, I just found out about the "cheating" nung July 20 lang, pero the "cheating" happened last July 13, 2013, yan yung date kung saan sila una nagkita at nag sex ng ka affair nya.

After I found out about the cheating, I dug deeper, kinausap ko ang girl, pinaamin ko sya sa details ng affair, and I made sure to screenshot everything. Gusto ko may bala ako in case I would file for annulment.

I asked some people na hindi ko ka close, ayoko sa mga taong friends ko dahil magiging bias sila sa advice nila.

Is your relationship still ok? Are you still together?

*** We're still together, OK? No definitely not. Gusto ko makipag hiwalay, ayaw nya, nanghihinayang din ako, and somehow may galit sa puso ko para sa mga babae, pero mas galit ako sa kanya. Minsan nakakalimutan ko ang galit kasi nakikita ko naman nag eeffort sya, pero pag minsan nahuhuli ko sya magsinungaling kahit sa slightest reason, talagang galit na galit ako sa kanya at bumabalik lahat. Lagi naman nyang sinasabi na gagawin nya lahat maging ok lang kami. Mahirap kasi ngayon asa abroad sya.

Do you still feel the pain of what happened?

*** Sobra sobrang pain, umabot pa sa point na blamed myself, marami sya ka flirt since April ko lang nalalaman ang lahat, until nitong July para akong sinampal sa mukha, marami syang ginagawang kababuyan sa YM, marami syang SOP, sex on chat, etc. Pero hindi ko ini expect na meron syang magiging kabit dun, as in literal na kabit that went on for months. Until the day na nalaman ko, may communication pa sila nung babae. Till now galit na galit ako, kahit nangako ako na hindi ko gagantihan ang babae, on the side, gumagawa na ako ng ways, kahit ayoko pero pinipigilan ko parin ang sarili ko.

Do you still trust him after that? what did you do to bring the trust  back?

*** No, and honest ako sa kanya when I told him na ang trust ko sa kanya asa negative na, na isang beses ko pa syang mahuling mag sinungaling sa kahit na pinasimpleng bagay, wala na kami. Wala akong idea kung mababalik pa ang dati, dahil ilang taon din ang dumaan na niloloko nya ako ng hindi ko alam.

do you still feel that maybe he is still with someone else or still with the old sl*t that broke your trust and faith in him?

*** Alam ko namang wala na, pero minsan pumapasok sa isip ko na baka nagko communicate pa talaga sila nung mga babae nya, lalo na yung kabit, pag umaabot sa ganun, inaatake ako ng galit at sya napagbubuntunan ko.

Share your experiences and thoughts about this....

Umaabot kami ng halos 20hrs a day sa skype, dahil lagi ako nakabantay na, kailangan bawat galaw nya alam ko, lahat ng password ng email, facebook, wechat nya alam ko. Kung may di ako kakilala na nag message sa kanya nagiging away talaga. I'm slowly becoming a monster, na madalas pinag sisisihan ko kung bakit di nalang ako makipag hiwalay at ini stress ko ang sarili ko sa buhay ko sa kanya.

Ngayon, unti unti na akong natutukso sa iba, ayoko mangyari pero at the back of my mind, gusto ko makaganti. Pinagpe pray ko parin na ilayo nya ako sa tukso.

[sk8rboyswife]

update: 7 months na pabalik balik lang samen ang husband ko since December yan na nagloko siya. every weekend niya lang kame inuuwian ng anak niya, at times when I check on his phone (I tried so hard not to do this) laman pa rin ng search box ng fb niya is yung girl and her friends na ka officemates din nila. And imagine nakanood pa ng basketball game sa MOA with common friends, thou sabi niya di naman daw kasama yung girl. yung thought na lang na may inaayos pa kame, ang dami niyang dahilan kaya sumama pa rin siya sa kanila.


July came and napagod na ko. I just stopped communicating with him. I started going out. Napakasarap ng feeling na walang binabantayan at hinuhuli. I concentrated on my son, his school and me. Then I went out on a date, I promised myself di muna mag invest ng feelings since I just came from a very bad marriage. Pero this guy, he treats me like a princess. One I believe I deserved. MIA na si husband for two weeks, never na kame pinuntahan ulit or nangamusta pa. Hanggang sa nakarating sa kanya that I was going out, nagalit siya at bumalik sa bahay. Kinausap niya yung guy saying I'm a lying na we're not separated and very together pa. That's when he decided na di na daw siya aalis or iiwan pa kame. Binaligtad niya ko, na ako pa daw ang sinungaling.


Right now, I can't tell if okay kame, I can say he's doing his best na magkaayos and ako naman ang binantayan niya even if he knows the guy I dated stopped communicating with me, I also never bothered him na. Yung trust and love na meron dati sa asawa ko unti unti na ring nawawala kahit ano pa gawin niya. Bumabalik pa rin saken lahat ng ginawa at mga sinabi niya. Feeling ko wala naman sila naging closure nung girl, recently lang last wk, she sent my husband a viber message, sabi naman nitong asawa ko matagal na daw sila di nag uusap or kahit isipin pa niya yon wala na daw. Pero wala na kong peace of mind. Time can only tell and heal, babalik din pala siya, bat ngayon lang? why didn't he do it, nung December pa lang when I was down on my knees for him na ayusin.

[Girltalker2]

Then I went out on a date, I promised myself di muna mag invest ng feelings since I just came from a very bad marriage. Pero this guy, he treats me like a princess. One I believe I deserved.

Sis, kawawa naman yung guy. For situations like this, mas mainam na humiwalay ka muna sa asawa mo, before entertaining the thought of meeting others.  Kasi mahirap may ibang tao pa madamay instead na kayong mag asawa lang.

Gaya ng nangyari sayo, sayang lang oras nung guy kasi babalikan mo parin naman ang asawa mo. Parang ginamit mo lang sya.

Ramdam ko rin yan sis yung nagiging monster kakabantay nagiging sobrang higpit kasi baka maglandi sa iba. Ang hirap2 nyan sis,  Alam mo tayo ang magiging miserable lagi tayong naghihinala, nag wo-wonder kung saan kaya si husband, baka naglalandian sila ng kabit nya etc. Di maganda sa mental health naten ang mga yan.

True, parang wala ka na naging ibang buhay kundi magbantay at mag investigate. Having a life is much much more than that.

Sa ngayon, lagi ko pinagpe-pray na sana mali ang mga hinala ko kasi nanghihinayang din ako sa marriage namin ayoko rin na maging broken family kame, kawawa naman ang anak namin. Everytime na naghihinala ako lagi ko nalang syang pinapa alalahanan na kawawa ang bata kung sisirain nya lang yung marriage namin dahil sa kabit nya, basta anything na pag kabit kasi kahit ano namang question mo tungkol sa hinala mo wala rin naman akong mapapala , maiinis lang kameng parehas.

Ito ang lagi kong sinasabi sa mga posts ko dito sa GT. Never ka manghinayang sa nakaraan. Tapos na yun eh.  Kung baga lumipas na yung so many years na naging kayo. Ang importante is yun ngayon at future.  Kung masaya kayo nung past 10 years na nakaraan, pero you still have 50 years to go, di ba worth it naman na sumaya ka rin today and in the future, kesa dalhin mo ang pagdurusa mo ngayon hanggang sa pagtanda mo. 

Second "kawawa ang bata pag broken ang family".  Feeling ko tayo lang nag iisip na kawawa ang bata.  Minsan mas traumatic pa sa kanila seeing their parents fight, seeing the unloving relationship, how their dad treats their mom like trash, etc. So hindi sila ang kawawa. Ang kawawa ay yung wife na nagdudusa habang walang humpay ang pambababae ng asawa nya.

[marie_06]

Hi mga Sis. I am new here. I recently posted about my husband cheating on me while we are new to marriage. I'd really love to reply dun sa thread na ginawa ko but I can't, maybe because of my status here (probationary pa kasi ako).

Anyway, I just want to share my thoughts and experience. Yun nga, my husband cheated on me. First 3 months pa lamg ng marriage namin nagawa na nya. I gave him another chance bit then I discovered that he's still in the affair.

What I did? This one is still fresh. A few days ago, I decided to post here and get some advice. I also sought advice from my friends and family. I thought hard --- kakayanin ko ba if we separate, is he worth forgiving, may kasalanan ba ako etc. I prayed hard until I felt I already gathered all the strength. I talked to him a few days ago. Told him what I know and what I feel. He admitted to being in the affair STILL. We decided to separate muna. 'Muna' because we both seem so confused. And based on our talk, we want to fix things on our own.

Nahihirapan ako at this point. I've long waited for us to be finally married. Never ko naimagine that this marriage can be ruined as early as this point. I'm in so much pain right now pero di ko maintindihan san ko kinukuha yung lakas to endure all things related to this. Maybe timing lang. Because of what happened, I felt I need to value myself. And yun yata amg pinanggagalingan ng strength ko ngayon. I know this is a process. Di ko pa din naman alam what will happen next. I just want to heal first before I make the next move. Prayers ang sandalan ko ngayon. It is indeed powerful.

[Girltalker2]

^ yes sis, prayers can really help.

Also medyo out of topic, you can edit your original post by adding your responses below your original posts, kung gusto mo man sumagot sa thread na ginawa mo.

[maiandra]

Sis, if he is still in the affair and is not willing to break it up with the girl, then cut your ties with him immediately. 3 months pa lang into the marriage nangaliwa na? Sino ba nagtali ng kamay nya para magpakasal? Does he still want TIME TO THINK? Don't give him time, give him an ultimatum dahil newlyweds pa lang kayo and wala pa talagang enough trials para sabihin nyang naguguluhan na sya. In this case girl, toughen up. If you give in this early, he will be bound to repeat this again since madali ka suyuin.

[eimerej5]

Hello mga sis! Its been a long time since i check FN. Been busy with my baby... Anyway, i was trying to back read and madami n pala nagpost dito...

It really hurts, no lets say that it is super painful to know that our partner had cheated on us. Whether it is just a fling, a one nightstand, kahit ano pa siya, kapag nadiscover natin, masakit talaga. And then magiisip na tayo, ano ba nagawa ko? May pagkukulang ba ako? May mali ba sa ken???... Usually yan ang una natin tinatanong sa mga sarili natin. BUT what i have learned with my marriage is that - there is nothing wrong with us... Yes, we do have flaws, we do make mistakes, hindi tayo perfect na tao. Lahat may nagagawang mali at alam natin kung may masasaktan tayo... Ang mga partners natin na ngcheat, claiming na may kulang daw or parang may hinahanap pa siya, or whatever lame excuses that they have is really NOT an excuse and a reason for them to cheat... Kung mahal mo asawa mo or GF mo, instead of you looking for another person para mapunan ang pagkukulang, bakit hindi ang asawa or GF mo ang tignan mo? Pagusapan ang problema, hindi kung kani-kanino nagsasabi ng problema nyong magasawa or mgpartner. Hindi naman masosolve ng ibang tao ang problema ninyo dahil hindi naman sila dapat kasali sa equation... Kadalasan ganyan ang ngyayari, they need a shoulder to cry on... And that person usually becomes the mistress!!!! Minsan mas pinipili pa nila ang easy way out than to fix things.... Kung ayaw n nila sa atin, sabihin lang nila, hindi kung [textspeak!] anong excuses or reasons ang sinasabi nila... Hindi din sila perfect n tao, kaya ang sabihin nila na may pagkukulang tayong mga wifey or gf's, for me lang ha, is really not an excuse! Bakit may pagkukulang din naman mga hubby natin, may hinahanap din tayo pero tumingin ba tayo sa iba? Naghanap ba tayo ng shoulder to cry on? Instead, we are trying to understand and make our relationship work....

Para sa atin mga Sis, we are stronger than we thought! Kaya natin to... If our partners are worth fighting for, then fight for your relationship, your marriage. Don't let anyone be in your way of having a complete and a lovely family... I know its hard but it is always good to forgive... In time you will tell yourself, buti n lang, i did not give up....

[Girltalker2]

^ TS, I am glad that things are doing ok now. 

I think for people to have hope, kelangan talaga na maniwala ka that things will work out somehow/someway in the future.  Otherwise, di mo alam where mo huhugutin ang lakas mo in times like these.

Pagusapan ang problema, hindi kung kani-kanino nagsasabi ng problema nyong magasawa or mgpartner. Hindi naman masosolve ng ibang tao ang problema ninyo dahil hindi naman sila dapat kasali sa equation... Kadalasan ganyan ang ngyayari, they need a shoulder to cry on... And that person usually becomes the mistress!!!! Minsan mas pinipili pa nila ang easy way out than to fix things.... Kung ayaw n nila sa atin, sabihin lang nila, hindi kung [textspeak!] anong excuses or reasons ang sinasabi nila...

Sis, natumbok mo.  I think hindi agad masabi ng cheating husbands na ayaw na nila sa wife nila kasi "nagsh-shopping" pa nga kung baga. San sila pupulutin once they tell their wives - ayoko na sayo. So ang stance nitong mga loko-lokong hubbies is uuwi sa wife, pero mag eenjoy ng buhay binata sa labas. Thinking - wala naman masama mangyayari. If the wife won't find out, happy naman lahat ng tao.

Until such time they will find themselves in such a mess na naka entangle na sila sa kabit, kahit may wifey na sila.

One important thing natutunan ko naman dito sa GT, is the husband (also the wife narin) should be very cautious on their environments for such things to happen. Sometimes nga for marriages to work, dapat the couple knows when to draw the line when it comes to sharing/holding/being close to the opposite gender.

Alam mo sa office or magkakabarkada, sometimes kung mag usap sila sa mga meetings, lunch outs, inuman, super close sila physically. Minsan akbayan blues pa kung magkukuha sila ng selfie. Sasabihin ng marami wala namang malice yun, ako lang madumi ang utak. Pero feeling ko dyan nag uumpisa kasi.  Kaya better not to be close to the opposite gender early on. Kung marunong ang asawa mo irecognize itong fact to "keep distance" in order to protect your relationship/marriage (and ang wife narin), hindi masisira ang marriage ninyo ng 3rd party.

Para sa atin mga Sis, we are stronger than we thought! Kaya natin to... If our partners are worth fighting for, then fight for your relationship, your marriage. Don't let anyone be in your way of having a complete and a lovely family... I know its hard but it is always good to forgive... In time you will tell yourself, buti n lang, i did not give up....

Sis, I am glad that things worked out your way. Ganun naman yun we try our best to be able to achieve our object --- to have a happy family.  In my case, I can also say that things worked out my way din, but I am still working on it - at least kahit papano, umuusad   . Gaya ng sabi mo, I should not allow anyone to be in my way for having a happy family. And one important lesson I have learned in relation to this is - Know thy enemies.   

In my case kasi, the enemy was my ex hubby after all.  I initially thought it was the mistress or kung sino sino, kala ko ako din.  Pero hindi, after 10 long years, halos lahat ginawa ko na (you name it)..., it was my ex (or hubby that time) ang nagpipigil sakin magkaron ng happiness sa pamilya.  Hindi sya bukas bumitiw sa kabit.  Therefore hindi nyako binigyan ng chance to have the happy family which I thought WE wanted, yun pala ako lang.  I realized sya pala ang balakid ng dream ko (which I think is every woman's dream). So it came to a point, kelangan ko sya iwan to reach my goals/dream of being happy.  I stagnated for over 10 long years.  At kelangan ko na mamili, kung gusto ko ba mas maging fulfilling ang buhay ko, mas makatulong ako sa kapwa ko, mas maging mabuting ina sa mga anak ko OR manatiling unproductive at maghope sa wala sa piling nya. Di ba obvious ang sagot. 

[eimerej5]

Hello mga sis! Tama din si girltalker2.

I wanted to quote the things that she said na talagang maganda pero hindi ko maquote. Nakamobile kasi ako... Anyway, i hope this is helpful... Nakita ko lang din tong link na to...

http://familyshare.com/10-ways-you-are-being-unfaithful-to-your-spouse-and-you-dont-even-know-it
 
I find office flirting to be the one i really agree with... Well, actually lahat ng sinabi dyan totoo para sa ken...

[outandaboutph]

Months pa lang kami married ni hubby nalaman ko nagcommunicate pa sila through chat ng ex gf niya. Ang nakakasama pa ng loob, they were talking about my shortcomings. Then nabasa ko rin sa ibang messages pa niya, niyaya niya dating classmate niya na girl na magmall. Although sabi niya, chat chat lang lahat ng iyon, sobrang disappointed ako and hurt at the same time. Ang sabi ko sa kaniya, binastos niya ako ng bonggang bongga. Anong mukha na lang ang ihaharap ko kapag nakasalubong ko ang mga girls na iyon. Feeling ko, pinagtatawanan nila ako. Hindi ako makapaniwala at first, na magagawa pa la ng hubby ko sa akin iyon pero ginawa niya talaga. I remember na madaling araw ko nabasa iyong mga messages na iyon, ang talaga naman gusto ko magwala, and umiiyak ako. Paano ako naka move on? Hindi ako madali makalimot, until now, kapag sinasabi niya sa akin na love niya ako, hindi na ako naniniwala. Kapag nakita ko siya busy sa pc niya or sa phone niya, tinatanong ko siya if sino na naman iyon. Sasabihin naman niya, na hindi niya ako lolokohin, etc. Sagot ko naman, niloko mo na ako noon pa kaya di ako naniniwala. Although I know mali narin approach ko, dapat hindi na ulit ulitin iyong nangyari sa past, pero parang hindi kasi ganoon kadali. Not sure din if makakalimutan ko pa. Siguro forever na ako disappointed sa hubby ko, and forever narin ang doubt if talagang sincere siya at mahal niya ako.

[langley]

^I agree with everything you posted. I'm looking forward to read your story. 

[Girltalker2]

Although sabi niya, chat chat lang lahat ng iyon, sobrang disappointed ako and hurt at the same time. Ang sabi ko sa kaniya, binastos niya ako ng bonggang bongga. Anong mukha na lang ang ihaharap ko kapag nakasalubong ko ang mga girls na iyon. Feeling ko, pinagtatawanan nila ako. Hindi ako makapaniwala at first, na magagawa pa la ng hubby ko sa akin iyon pero ginawa niya talaga.

Sis may katotohanan ang sinabi mo --- nakakabastos talaga bilang wife.  Pero tingin ko ha, 'dense' lang talaga hubby mo. Meaning - malamang hindi nya maintindihan ang nararamadaman mo. Hindi sya makarelate.  Buti sana if you don't have to deal with it again, kaso mag asawa kayo so you really have to communicate to him.

Imbis na telling him 'you don't love me'... PERIOD.  Baka mas mabuti mag usap kayo - it is not proper for a married guy to be around other girls. It is not that nagseselos ka, it is more of you want to protect your marriage because you love him.  Alam naman siguro din nya na maraming naghihiwalay na couples these days.  At maraming nambababae na lalaki. So sana hindi sya maging ganun, at sa tingin mo ayaw din naman nya. 

Tingin ko kasi sa hubby mo (IMO lang naman), hindi naman nga nya naiisip yung malice. Sige benefit of the doubt. Gusto lang nya mag relax and for old times sake siguro kaya nya niyaya. Wala naman syang iniisip na makipagsex sa ibang babae.  Pero kelangan nya maintindihan yung "keeping his distance".  Sa office man, barkada or old GFs nya. 

Try mo. Good luck sis. 

- Happy memories you have with your husband should be heavier than the situation/problem ur facing right now) If its the case, then your marriage are still worth fighting for
Wag tayong magpatalo sa mga other girls na yan.
- You still love each other
- Your husband still stays with you
- (eto galing sa isang friend ko) Tao lang ang asawa mo hindi Diyos.

By the way I am already 16 yrs married.

Wow!  Sis congratulations for that 16 years. Hindi sya biro. 

I do agree on "You still love each other".  Importante kasi ito. So long as you love each other, you can still patch things up.

But on other points - husband staying with you - you have to be careful here.  Kasi the husband may want to stay that way. may GF sa labas pero asawa mo. So gusto nya maraming babae talaga.  And so long as he has this convenience, hindi sya mag-ch change for the better. Therefore, ikaw bilang the wife, kinukunsinti mo rin ang pagkakasala nya, or in other words, you are facilitating his womanizing by being one of his women.

Happy Memories. Yes cherish them. But there are times na the past can never be the same as the now and the future.  Kung kaya pa, sige, pero kung hindi na, nasa sa babae to know when to call it quits. Sya lang ang nakakaalam din at makakapagdecide nito.