Filipino couples who are childless by choice...

[hisana]

im not very sure about what kind of "bad actions" you are referring to, but i think based on the criminal code (as amended??), it's more than 15 years of age. pls correct me if im wrong..

The most common I see are bullying younger children, vandalizing and petty theft, all of which I've witnessed in many kids 12 years and below. I personally haven't done anything to stop this kasi alam ko the parents will have a fit and nagiging sensitive lang yung iba when I report it to them. 

I guess it's a case to case basis. I just threw the question out there kasi matagal ko na iniisip ito. Of how and when other people should intervene. And who has the right.

But if we are talking purely about toddlers, then yes I do talk to the parents directly. Kasi feeling ko wala naman din mangyayari kung kausapin yung bata, di ba. Titignan lang ako nun, LOL. Or sometimes I do my wild face and it usually stuns them into silence or makes them giggle and stare at me more.

[ads83]

ah in cases like these ang parent ang mananagot dyan.. kaya you have to go to the parents. in case the child in school ang teacher mananagot because we are surrendering our children to the care of the school. yung intervention mo must be directed to the parent or teacher but never to the child kase minor. you have no right to discipline someone's child, lalo na pagstranger. off limits talaga yun. na mention na ito sa isang parenting thread dati. IMO, this is the most harmonious procedure kase if papagalitan mo ang anak ng iba, that will not be taken well by the child, lalo na sa parents.. kailangan kase civil ang approach mo towards the situation.. like you have a reasonable issue against your neighbor you cannot simply shout at her and what not. may proper procedure like you can go to the barangay to settle your issues. ganun din sa family.. if all fails, you can try DSWD..

in my case, i dont get angry with people who say something like this to my child, "oppss, dont touch that.." i feel relieved that there are others who care and definitely mean well..

this is major OT, but something really important to discuss..

[nadialicious16]

akala ko ako lang ang affected sa "silid sa sako" issue.. stick to the topic na lang tayo at baka ma lock pa ang thread.

[marose17]

^ Kahit sinong reasonable, decent and humane person siguro will get offended by the "isilid sa sako" comment.  That is child abuse and I am glad that the person who wrote that does not want to have children.  Tama lang ang choice niya na maging childless kung ganyan ang orientation niya.

[nadialicious16]

^ Kahit sinong reasonable, decent and humane person siguro will get offended by the "isilid sa sako" comment.  That is child abuse and I am glad that the person who wrote that does not want to have children.  Tama lang ang choice niya na maging childless kung ganyan ang orientation niya.

Sana may like button here ! ^5 sis. 

[jhenrheign]

i admire people who decided to be childless but still may respect pa din sa rights ng mga bata... i don't question them... because that's what they want and i respect it...

i have a cousin who is childless by choice and wala din balak mag asawa... pero super bait nya sa mga nephews at nieces nya... kaya din siguro ganun sya ka blessed kasi she knows how to share kung ano meron sya and she respects everyone whether katulad nya na adult or kids...

[twelvth_goddess]

I respect couples or people who choose to be childless. It's a much better decision than having kids without the capability of raising them well. It's just that dito sa Pinas, no kids means non-functional ovaries na kagad. Before I had Zoe, people always think na may problem kameng mag-asawa and I never made an effort to explain. Bakit pa eh iisipin din naman nila ang gusto nilang isipin so why waste my energy.

Hinde ako naturally mahilig sa bata and kahit I have a daughter na, I get pikon with malilikot na bata. But to even think of placing them in a sack to throw them away is nakakakilabot na kagad. I agree with Marose, perhaps mabuti na din na hinde na mag-anak ang taong may ganong ideas (whether it's just to drive a point). In public places when I see kids na pinapalo or pinapahiya ng parents nila with all these people looking around, I feel bad for the kid. Kids are naturally magulo and makulit, nasa parents yan on how to deal with it especially when out in public.

[meloids]

question lang with women who childless by choice. do you consider having a procedure like ligation to prevent pregnancy? if no, why?

[ning kuting]

^ No because I don't know if it will have a negative effect on my body. But if 100% safe, why not?
Personally I would want my partner to undergo a procedure instead of me because I think it's safer for them. Pwede pa yatang ma-reverse yung results ng vasectomy but I'm not sure. But if it's not 100% safe for both us, it's a no.

[Isabeli Fontana]

wow.. this is my own thread and I'm locked out... here's a piece of my mind that I just want to share:

first and foremost,I would like to thank my fellow childless by choice friends who I exchange information with.I learned a lot from you guys and I hope that you'll have a very happy and prosperous life ahead of you.

second,as I read back the thread,nagkagulo na ang thread nang may pumasok na comments from moms here.yes, na-deviate ang topic nang magkaroon ng comments from moms.kaya nga siya naka-post sa Married Life eh (please check na lang the trail) kasi nga,I am asking for the opinions of of the childless couples,and even the singles/in a relationships/engaged na rin,on what they think on being childless.I didn't post this in the parenthood thread dahil ang thread na yun are for parents. eh ang discussion na ito ay para sa mga ayaw mag-anak.in the first pages,our discussions were ok. at peace naman kami.I was asking on their opinions,pero naggulo ang thread ng may naligaw na posts na from moms.

third,I have nothing against you moms.pero masyado naman yata ninyo akong hinusgahan ang pagkatao ko, sa statement ko.it made me laugh a bit kasi sa childless thread pa ako na-lock.ako na nga ang childless by choice,ako pa ang na-lock sa childess by choice thread.sana bago man lang ninyo ako i-report, basahin ninyo yung ibang threads at meron pang ibang mas exaggerated na posts kesa sa post ko. YES,as one said,I WAS EXAGGERATING.I wouldn't exaggerate if it wasn't based on personal experience.it's the same as when parents shout with glee ("ang galing galing ng anak ko!nakakalakad na!)when they see their kids taking their first steps (honestly, it's normal part of growth..I don't see anything too exciting about that).

fourth,IMHO in this situation ako pa ang expected na umintindi sa parents,eh childless by choice nga ito eh.I was exaggerating because,I had several experiences na with parents expecting me to be more understanding of their situations;and yes,I have told parents about that.still,they are expecting me to understand them.case in point: one time in church,I was sitting beside this mom with her kid.the girl is screaming and crying,"uwi na tayo!uwi na tayo!uwi na tayyyoooo!!!!!!",practically to my ear na.imagine having a matinis na voice screaming practically in your ear,di ba ang sakit?tanggal ang lahat ng earwax mo.so I told the mother,"madame maingay po yung anak ninyo.pakisuyo na lang po".what did she did?she looked at me sharply without saying a word and turned her back.she didn't even pacify her kid.so of course I want to concentrate on the mass,I just stood up in the quiet corner.another situation,I was in Jollibee and this kid with the mom bumped me,which caused me to spill my Coke in my dress.it would have been ok,pwede palampasin...IF the kid apologized or the mom apologized on his behalf.lo and behold,BOTH the kid and the mother didn't apologize...

[Isabeli Fontana]

another situation is,my officemate told me during lunch that her son put their new puppy in the microwave oven at sinet ang timer (7 years old yung bata).as I love puppies,I asked her "sinaway mo ba?" well her answer is "hindi eh.tinawag ko na lang si yaya". good thing at hindi naging hot dog yung puppy. I asked her,"baket naman di mo sinaway?eh di naluto yung puppy eh". she answered,"eh bata yan eh.makulit"... errr??eto lang ang question ko,which is more disturbing,my exaggerated statement or that kid putting a defenseless puppy in the microwave?

I was prepared to relate my answers to natalia but I was on leave for a few days of vacation,nang makita ko na lang eh dinumog na nga moms ang thread.at nabasa ko na lang,I am a child abuser? I dare you moms to check me in NBI,FBI,pati sa police precinct namin kung may record ako ng child abuse...hey if I were a child abuser dapat meron akong record ng batang sinilid sa sako at tinapon sa bundok ha...

I am in this thread not to promote abuse or something.I was exaggerating.sa akin lang if you get pretty much disturbed with others' opinions,you can either ask or don't sign up for the thread.I am prepared to explain my "exag" statement, nanguna lang ang mga moms.it's like I have to be MORE UNDERSTANDING that moms are allowed to post in the childless thread because of the word "child" in it... and to be honest,I don't have the galls na magsilid ng bata sa sako at itapon sa bundok.una hindi naman ako nagluwal sa bata na yun,pangalawa eh hindi ako marunong umakyat ng bundok.plus,if I am guilty of doing that or plans to do that,ang palpak ko naman,dahil pwede ako ma-track dito dahil pinost ko yan dito.

[Isabeli Fontana]

to answer one of the poster's comments.. yes I told moms before that their kids bothered me in some ways.a few said sorry,some gave me a mean look because sinabihan ko sila (I read their facial expression as,"sino ka para pakialaman ako sa pagpapalaki ng anak ko?".. and most answered,"eh bata yan eh." IMHO,the "bata yan eh" reason is the akin to "kaya kami nagnakaw kasi mahirap lang kami".

in a way,yes I ruffled a lot of posters' feathers here, same as they ruffled mine. I just don't like it that I was accused of vulgarity or child abuse without even defending my statement.tsaka,kaya nga hindi ako dumadaan dyan sa parenthood thread dahil di naman ako interested dyan.tapos ngayon, pwede ako ma-report ng mga moms dahil sa ganyang statement?so pwede pala akong personal na i-attack ng moms dahil childless by choice ako?sa mga nagsasabing I should haven't posted that because I was tactless and this isn't akin to personal space,well we are all entitled to post our ideas,feelings and thoughts here.if this isn't considered a personal space,then we should all post lies here and pretend that we are someone else.if you find a comment tactless,why not try asking that person why s/he posted as such rather than assume that s/he is this kind of person?

[mooncake and leaves]

^ actually, gumulo because of that "silid sa sako" comment. you really can't expect people, not just moms, to take that lightly. i mean, we get it, you don't like kids but there was really no need for that.

there's also no need to constantly remind people who are already pissed that you don't find children's little achievements noteworthy. we get it. no need to elaborate because it's all downhill from that "sako" bit.

[Isabeli Fontana]

^actually, inexaggerate lang din ang exaggerated statement.so gumulo.and if you read the answers after the "silid sa sako" statement, ok pa ang discussion, meron pang point to explain,then from there pwede na siya matuldukan.hindi sya "silid sa sako" statement tapos eh awayan na.

[runaway_bridesmaid]

naku hindi pa pala tapos ang issue na yan, baka ma lock itong thread na to.

anyway speaking of "silid sa sako" comment, minsan ko na rin nasabi ito sa mga bata, kaharap pa yung parents nila, yun ay dahil sobrang ingay ng pamangkin ko pati yung kalaro niya, student ako that time at nag aaral, sinabihan ko sila ng "ano ba, ang gugulo niya, isasako ko kayo" the parents did not mind naman at sinaway ang anak nila because they knew i was just kidding.

sa mga moms, forgive us kung nakakapag salita kami ng ganun comments kapag nagiging makulit na mga kiddies nyo, wag sana maging sensitive, at wala naman matinong tao na gagawa nun sa mga batang walang muwang in real life...

lets just switch to the topic please

[ning kuting]

Sorry if OT. Hindi ko masyadong ma-follow. Si Isabeli ba ay si sis Bubblin'? Kasi based on her last post, I'm guessing she's the thread starter and she made a new account to be able to post since Muted ang "Bubblin" account nya?

Who made the "silid sa sako" comment? I tried searching for it but I can't find the post.

I just can't believe on what's happening because of this thread. Di na ba pwedeng pag-usapan at umabot pa sa pagrereport sa mods to the extent na na-mute ang iba nating sis?

As to the "silid sa sako" comment, I read it before and didn't take it literally. I think it's an exaggeration. Figure of speech ba.  I've heard more intense comments from parents to their kids- lalabasan ng tren ang sugat, ipapamigay, ipapakuha sa pulis. I don't take offense because obviously it's an exaggeration. Same as the "silid sa sako" comment. I don't think the person who made the post would really put a child on a sack.

At the same time, this is a public forum and we can't deny moms to give their opinions on this thread.

Maybe what we can learn here is to be mindful on sticking to the topic. I believe the focus of this thread is more on the couples who made the decision to be childless. And the mess started when the focus suddenly shifted to children and parenting. 

One last thing, if we don't agree with another's opinion then we question the validity of her argument not the poster. Masyadong maraming ad hominem sa thread na ito.

Peace. 

[Isabeli Fontana]

Childless by Choice sisters, do you know this book,Two is Enough:A Couple's Guide to Living Childless by Choice? written by Laura S. Scott. it helps very much,lalo na doon sa mga coupled na. heto ang FB page nya: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Two-is-Enough-A-Couples-Guide-to-Living-Childless-by-Choice/98500360688

its also fun and informative for the single ladies (and men) who are childless by choice.

[izabelle]

Maybe what we can learn here is to be mindful on sticking to the topic. I believe the focus of this thread is more on the couples who made the decision to be childless. And the mess started when the focus suddenly shifted to children and parenting. 

Exactly i super agree with you sis.. sayang ang thread, ganda pa naman ng discussion nito dati.

[nikki]

i'm recently married but not necessarily opting to be childless.  right now, we are not planning yet because of another wedding plan abroad in November so we have to wait.  the thing is, i've been having some thoughts around not having one at all.  not that i don't see myself having one someday but more of the thought that i may not be able to bring up my child properly-- that is, baka hindi ko ma-discipline ng maayos at bigay todo lang si hilig ng bata. 

the other night i sort of started discussing with my husband pero in passing lang.  his repsonse is more of a joke so i decided it wasn't the right time to talk about it.

how do you bring up such a sensitive topic to your husbands mga sis?

[sunfire25]

Each couple has their own choice naman whether to have kids or not.  Choice naman nila yon.  We should just all strive to live together peacefully, and tama sabi ng iba, respect lang naman yan.  But there will always be complaints/vents from each side, so consider it something na we'll have to agree to disagree.

I also know of some families na kaya magugulo anak nila, is they are mentally disabled, like autistic.  So let's refrain from passing judgment, dahil we don't really know what the family is going through. 

^^Kids are one of the topics like money that needs to be talked about as early as engagement.  Parang too late na if you just decide to talk about it after you're married, kasi baka deal-breaker sa isa't isa ang pagkakaroon or di pagkakaroon ng kids.  Pero kung kilala niyo naman ang isa't isa and you can work towards a plan on kids, then ok.  Siguro naman kahit in passing you know where you both stand with having kids.  It's okay to change your mind or suddenly realize that you're not nurturing and won't be able to bring up kids, as long as you discuss this with your hubby openly and honestly.