hi mga sis, super thanks ha. tama, makakapag move on din tayo. nasa utak lang yan. if we help ourselves, we'll be better sooner than we thought. hindi pa katapusan ng mundo. hehe.. honestly, sobrang hirap ako kasi we were so ok. ala kami pinag awayan. umuwi lang sa probinsya hindi na nagparamdam. hindi naman daw kasi niya ako namiss. at all. grabe di ba? habang ako nagpupuyat mag abang ng promo sa airfare pang surprise anniv gift sana next year, kaloka!

tapos saabihin niya lang na hindi na kasi pareho nararamdaman niya. ganun na lang ba yun? ganun kadali mawala? tsk..
the first 3 days i was devastated. nag iiyak ako dito sa office. wala akong piniling lugar. kasi nga iisang company kami so everybody knows him, us. mula sa guard hanggang sa nagtitinda ng kape sa canteen. imagine araw2 may nagtatanong hinahanap siya sakin, all i can do is smile back at them.
i live kasi alone here. lahat ng friends at family ko nasa province. siya lang talaga kasama ko sa araw2. iisang street lang apartment namin. everyday madadaanan niya house ko. lagi siya sa house so everywhere i look i can see him and our memories together. ang hirap. but when i saw myself at the mirror, grabe payat ko! as in payat na ko to start with and underweight sa height ko pero parang nasobrahan. bagsak ang shoulders na parang sobrang stressed. well, i lost appetite din kasi.
surprisingly, wala ako galit or hatred sa kanya. wala naman kasi ako magagawa if that's what he feels. at least he was honest.
now, everytime i feel sad i talk to God. sobrang casual na talk. parang super friends lang kami. hehe.. it helps. I realized I have so much to be thankful for in life. I may have lost him, but i still have my own life. mahirap mag isa.. but i'm happy kasi naglabasan ang friends ko. super support sila. and my mom, grabe. imagine, she keeps her webcam open, and mine too para daw hindi ko ma feel na im alone. wow, grabe i was so touched.
ngayon, i always see to it i look good. people here in the workplace tells me that he looks sad. he looks really affected. bigla siya naging mailap. sabi ko kasi nakokonsensya yun kaya ganun. hindi ako pwede mag lungkot lungkutan kasi mag isa nga ako. i have no one but myself. hindi ako pwede magkasakit.
kahit siya, nahihiya kasi ang babaw ng reasons niya. alam niya na wala na siya mahihiling pa sakin. pero what can we do? he wants me out of his life. i believe him naman na walang 3rd party so at least may pa consuelo. haha..
i swear, after him, i will enrich myself. Financially, emotionally and spiritually. I know one day, he will regret what he did. Kinakaya ko lahat kasi I know and I can feel, God is with me thru all these.
So mga sis, i'm sorry if napahaba yung post ko. All I wanted to say is, a heartbreak will always be a part and parcel of life. Isipin niyo nga, kung eto lang ay hindi niyo na kaya pano pa kaya yung mga mas malalaking unos na haharapin natin sa future di ba?
So smile, pray. ANd thank God for everyday. Try to see the beauty in life. Again, nasa utak lang yan. When you start to think positively, everything else follows -- all for the good. May we all find our peace and happiness soon. And if you need someone to talk to, pm niyo ko. we'll have girl bonding. it's time to meet new friends.
