do you know a mother who has abandoned her child/children?

[shinta]

ok naman. although patay na yung 2 sa 3 kong half siblings. si kuya namatay sa work, si ate naman namatay sa cancer. currently, nasa bicol nanay ko kasama nya yung isa ko pang ate at katulong nya sa business namin dun.

yung kuya ko lang ang nagkaron ng sama ng loob kay nanay kaya medyo rebelde sya.

[lovemeagain30]

its still best to tell the family of your husband/bf that your child. one thing, it will be unfair to the child. second, its definitely unfair to yourself. the fact that you hide it from them to save your relationship with your partner doesnt make you happy.  i dont question you love your son sis -teazer29- but i dont think you love him enough.

why do i say this? im a single mom to a 5 year old kid. before i get into a relationship now i make sure that the guy will tell his family about my son's existence. if he love me enough, he will do it. what makes a difference kung itatago sa sasabihin mo ang totoo sakanila?  pag nagkaproblema in the future at pinulaan nila ako sa pagiging dalagang ina ko-- harap harapan pede ko sabihin di ko kayo niloko. na wala akong itinago. lahat ng baho meron ako nilabas ko na. wala na sakin kung tinanggap niyo or hinde.  i wont die with a feeling of regret. i can breathe more freely everyday of my life. totoo un kasabihan na, the truth will definitely set you free.


now dahil andiyan nakatira na sa family ng bf-- the more you have to be honest to them. mas importante ba sayo ang sasabihin nila kesa sa mararamdaman ng anak mo? yes it put strain in the relationship because from the start you should have been honest. pero kung patatagalin mo pa yan, that strain will pass on to your son.

prangkahin lang kita, if your bf truly loves you-- hindi na sana umabot sa ganito. now if you truly loves your son as what you claimed, alam mo na ang mali bat hindi mo pa itama?

[joban99]

Hi -teazer29-, kumusta na ang situation mo? Hopefully you took the advice of the members here and talked to your bf's parents na. Anyways, we wish you all the best.

[a_y_e_n]

share ko naman yung kwento ng kapitbahay namin (di naman ako masyado chismosa, inaanak ko kase yung bata kaya inalam ko kwento niya)

meron nangungupahan samen before, at first ok naman siya sa anak niya, ginawa pa nga akong ninang eh. pero bago pa mag-1 year old yung bata, iniwan nalang sa kapitbahay tapos di na nagpakita. yun pala, sobrang lulong sa shabu. after a month, pinagbenta nalang niya yung anak niya. buti nalang sa ok na family napunta yung inaanak ko. at may documents silang pinaayos to make sure di makukuha ng adik na nanay yung bata.

[happynes]

My cousins were abandoned by their mom. Their mom was my uncle's mistress then. Nung naghiwalay sila due to 3rd party on the kabet's side, binenta ni kabet ang bunso nyang anak sa tito ko at iniwan sa Ilocos. Eventually, the poor baby was found and then adopted by my grandparents. Noong dinala nila yung pinsan ko para ibalik sa mom nya, si mom-kabet pinamigay na din sa kanila pati panganay nilang anak. I don't know if may communication or nagkita pa sila mag iina ulit after.

[mommy_me]

yes... unfortunately its my sister..

got his child when he was 22 or something after niya manganak iniwan siya ng guy before they got married (buti nalang) and then the child ,parents namin ang kinilalalang mga magulang.. tapos nag-asawa na si sister and iniwan na ng tuluyan ang bata sa parents namin and ang sabi niya tapos na daw ang obligasyon niya sa bata.. ngek!!! eh hindi naman siya nagpaka-nanay dun ni-iri lang niya after that wala na...parents ko ang nagpupuyat sa gabi para lang magtimpla ng milk and everything financially and emotionally.. ngayon 11 na [textspeak!] pamangkin ko na until now ang alam niya ate niya ako.... ngayon ang problema namin sooner or later magtatanong na rin siya... at medyo bothered ang parents ko... baka kasi alam mo na mag-rebelde...

[pumpkin13]

Yung childhood bestfriend ko.. we were 19 when she got pregnant by her bf.actually hindi namin gusto yung guy for her.kasi she's bright, yung tipong malayo ang mararating.madami din nangligaw sa kanya na matitinong guys (kasama na mga crushes ko lol).pero ewan ko ba, ganun daw ang matatalino sa school, medyo slow pagdating sa love.so ayun, naging "you and me against the world" pa sila. the guy was 6 or 7 years her senior ata.she was a student and the guy nagwowork naman pero hindi nagtatagal sa isang job.so hindi stable.

on and off ang relationship nila.after several years ng on and off, she got pregnant.willing naman si guy na panagutan.that time she was crying to me kasi sya ang bread winner ng family, mahirap lang sila tapos ganun pa ang nangyari. sa takot nya, sumama na sya dun sa guy. so inuwi na sya nung guy sa family nya. nagkataon malapit lang yung bahay ng bf nya sa bahay namin so I got to visit her sometimes. nun pa lang sinasabi na nya sakin na parang iba ang ugali ng in-laws nya especially yung mother. pag kaharap ang ibang tao, ang bait daw sa kanya.pag sila na lang, galit sa kanya. she would cry to me everytime, hindi daw nya alam yung pinasok nyang problema. so she decided na after giving birth, magwowork sya para makaalis sila ng baby nya. yung guy naman kasi is mama's boy. as in. nakikita ko yung eksena nila minsan pag andun ako.

so she gave birth, they were happy, parang perfect family na. then one time, she talked to me, she was crying again kasi si guy daw is pinagbibintangan sya na may iba sya eh nakakulong na nga lang yung friend ko sa bahay kasama ang in-laws nya. pati celphone nya, kinuha nung guy. so i asked her kung meron ba, sabi nya nung simpleng mag bf palang sila, hindi na sya tumingin sa iba, ngayon pa kayang may baby na sila. hindi naman kasi talaga ganun yun friend ko. i gave her some pieces of advice, hindi ko din kasi alam ang gagawin. tapos palagi na sila nag aaway.

after a few months, nakipaghiwalay sya dun sa guy. umuwi sya sa kanila kasama yung baby.i got to talk to her mom about the situation and she said super happy sila na bumalik na friend ko with her baby pero hindi nila kayang buhayin yung mag ina. when the guy tried to reconcile, she gave in. sabi nya kasi she needed the guy's financial support. so uwi ulit sila sa family nung guy. ayaw daw kasi nung guy magstay sa house nila kasi magagalit daw mama ni guy.

yung tita ng friend ko who's in the states, nabalitaan yung nangyari and she decided to help my friend go back to school. sayang daw kasi.sa UP din kasi nag aaral. so she went back to school, then the guy lost his job. feeling insecure siguro, lalong madalas na yung away nila.

after a year, as in right after mag 1st bday yung inaanak ko, my bestfriend left. hindi nya nadala yung baby. nabalitaan ko na lang sa kapatid nya na sinasaktan na pala sya nung guy. she went to manila daw.

i never heard from her for a long time. then one time, it happened that my tita and her tita met and nagbigayan ng number so i got her number, she got my number din pala. she called me first. biniro ko sya na "may binata ka na" kasi 7yrs old na ngayon yung kid nya. she was just quiet pero i could hear from the other line na parang nasaktan ko sya.she didn't speak for quite a long while, sabi ko sorry. then she said everyday in 6yrs, she keeps on thinking about her kid and para daw syang pinapatay sa guilt. sabi nya she was so weak to give up. i asked her kung balak pa ba nyang kunin, sabi nya hindi nya alam. pakiramdam daw nya ibang tao na sya. i stopped na sa pagtatanong. ayun.

haba kwento ko. lol.

[young_maiden]

nalungkot naman ako sa story ng best friend mo, sis. sana bawiin na niya yung bata.

[pumpkin13]

^ i actually don't know sis kasi all of a sudden nawala na naman communication namin. i'm not sure if it's me na naging busy sa work or sya na naging busy in whatever she's doing now. naisip ko lang when i was 19, i thought i knew a lot of things and that was 8 years ago. pero everyday i realize na madami akong hindi alam about life. what i'm saying is, i don't want to judge her not because she's my friend but because i give her the benefit of the doubt that maybe she was too young at that time. maybe she thought she already knew how the world works. plus madami din problems sa family. although it's not an excuse, siguro she thought that she could build a happy family unlike the family she has grown up with. and siguro when it didn't work out, baka natakot na sya..lahat ito ay siguro lang. lol. POV ko lang. hehe.

[bravo86]

^if she truly loves her son at gusto nyang makuha, gawin nya na while 7yrs old pa lang. pwede pa mahilot yan. pag lumagpas dyan, baka mahirapan na sya. abandonment pa naman ang drama nya.

[pretty_cavitemom]

Pa-share na din.

I have an 8-year old student, she's a girl. 3 years ago tinu-tutoran ko na siya. Pinakiusapan ako ng maternal lola niya na sana matulungan ko yung bata. Yun pala, matalino pero naghiwalay ang magulang at siya ang sumalo ng trauma. Dad is an OFW abroad, mom naman, sustentadong stay-at-home. Ibinili ng magandang car panghatid-sundo lang sa bata at pang-pasyal nilang mag-ina. Lahat ng gamit nila, branded. Despite of that, nagkaroon ng boylet ang mom, student pa. Saksi yung bata sa pagtataksil. She's such and innocent and confused 6-year old girl that time, my God, pag nagsasabi siya sa akin with matching uncontrolled sobs, nakakapanghina talaga.

Kaya pala hindi maka-focus yung bata kahit ang dali na ng lessons na itinuturo ko. Minsan bigla na lang tutulo ang luha. Nahirapan akong tulungan siya sa grades niya; she feels so lost. Umuwi ang dad, nagkaroon ng maraming eksena sa kanila. Naglayas pa ang mag-ama for a week pero bumalik din sa house nila. Pero yung bata, lahat ng nakita niya )na hindi niya alam na super malisyoso na palang ginagawa ng mom at boylet) e nasabi sa dad niya. Ayun, ang gulu-gulo; the height, INIWAN SILA NG MOM. Natiis yung bata. Kaya yung family mismo ng mom, halos isinumpa na yung mom ni little girl. Sumama na sa boylet niyang palamunin.

8 na si little girl ngayon; her 1st year without a mom was very rough. I felt like a surrogate mother pag magkikita na kami everyday, naglalambing kasi siya.  Last year, medyo ok na siya. This year, talagang alam kong nasanay na din siya. Pero I pity the child kasi iba pa rin yung kasama mo mismo ang nanay mo at alam mong buo kayo as a family.

I know nagsisisi din yung nanay ngayon, balita ko hiwalay na din sila nung boylet. I heard she's trying to communicate with her daughter more often now. Kaso how can she mend this kind of thing? Forever nang dadalhin ng bata yung trauma.

[yang]

i surely knew 1.

[angel_lee]

geabe yan sis pretty_cavitemom ah. kawawa naman yung bata 

[jazzyfish]

Pa-share din ng story ng cousin ko.

Yung cousin ko had a daughter out of wedlock. Tapos naghiwalay sila ng boy, so single mom ang siste niya for a few years, raising her beautiful daughter along with the very supportive lolo and lola. Then, when the daughter was 3, yung cousin ko started dating a guy, half-American, half-Pinoy, pero utak pugita. Bwiset na bwiset ako dun sa guy kasi arogante talaga. And worse, for some reason, ayaw na ayaw niyang nakikita ang bata. In other respects, ok sana yung guy (kahit may pagka-mayabang), pero talagang ayaw niya sa daughter.

Long story short, ayun ang cousin ko, with her two sons (yes, she married the stupid half-American) sa US. Ang daughter, naiwan dito with the loving grandparents. Mahal na mahal nila yung bata, pero siyempre iba talaga ang mommy. It's been 8 years of trauma sa bata; serious abandonment issues talaga. Once a year lang bisitahin ng cousin kong bwiset, pa-sikreto pa dahil dun sa stupid guy.

Eventually they grandparents migrated na rin sa US, pero tipong sila asa West Coast, yung cousin ko and her family sa East Coast. Ganoon kalayo, kasi nga dahil dun sa guy. Yung siraulo ko namang cousin, di maiwan ang guy, di mapaglaban ang daughter, walang kwenta. Nabulag sa green card, nabulag sa residency, nabulag sa material wealth.

Sorry sa maanghang na words; everytime I think about my pamangkin, I get so incensed talaga with my cousin. Nung minsan umuwi nga yun dito for a vacation with her family (siyempre! di kasama si daughter), di talaga ako nagpakita. Strong sentiments, pero I really hate her for what she did to her daughter, lalo na nakikita ko on a regular basis how the kid suffered for want of a mother's love!

When I became a mom, mas naging malala yung galit ko sa kanya, because now I have a personal comparison -- I once had to go out of town on a seminar for a week, and I cried every night for my baby!

[pumpkin13]

I remember another one.College friend ko.She got pregnant by her bf, 3rd year college kami nun.Aside from her and the bf, ang nakakaalam lang about the situation was me and her bestfriend.She had to keep it sa family kasi that was the time na bibigyan na sana sya ng dad nya ng capital for a possible business.She didn't get along well with her parents kasi parehong business minded kaya palaging wala.Solong anak pa sya. Hindi sya umuwi sa kanila the whole sem.Besides, sabi nya, hindi din naman sya hinahanap sa kanila so she stayed sa campus.The sem ended when she was on her 6th month.She decided not to enroll the following sem.That was the time as well that she decided to tell her parents.Nun pa lang I already knew that there was something wrong.She was asking me kasi if I knew some meds she could take just so hindi na matuloy yung pagbubuntis nya.I told her wala akong alam, and kahit siguro may alam ako, I wouldn't tell her.Sabi nya kasi ayaw din sya tulungan nun bestfriend nya, then the guy naman daw said na she could do whatever she thought was best. 

So we didn't see each other the following sem pero she kept on calling and [textspeak!] me na hindi daw nya kaya magka-anak.It was just an accident lang daw and she was never fond of kids.sabi ko pag nakita na nya baby nya, magbabago din ang isip at pakiramdam nya. and so she gave birth.

The following sem again, she went back to school with 2 shocking news. First, she found out that bf and bestfriend got married the previous sem when she was out of school.i was so naive not to notice that there was something wrong talaga.

Second, she gave up her daughter for adoption. Her aunt legally adopted the child. Sabi ng friend ko naiirita daw sya pag umiiyak, hindi daw nya talaga kaya alagaan.

Right now, ang alam nung bata is big ate sya, as in pinsan.

[baby michael]

I know someone din na pinaampon nya baby girl nya sa coworker nya na hindi magkaanak.. iniwan na kase sya nung nakabumtis sa kanya and wala syang family support and hirap sya talaga sa buhay.. at least na nga lang hindi nya pina abort yung bata..

[lennix]

An aunt did this, she left her 4 kids and eloped with another man while she's pregnant with her husband's 5th kid.  She did not even try to go back and get her kids, sabi nga ng relatives namin, parang mga tutang iniwan. After so many years we heard that one of the kids found her, this cousin stayed with us for a few months. One time nadinig ko siya nagkukuwento sa nanay ko ng sama ng loob, excited daw siya na makita uli ang Mama niya after so many years, kasi baby pa siya nung iniwan tapos 19 na siya nung magkita siya uli. Napaiyak siya kasi daw si Tita hindi man lang siya niyakap nung magkita uli sila, parang disappointed pa daw.

[artegirl]

I think there are times that the mother is forced by circumstances.  I have an adopted niece.  The mother gave up the child when she was 2 yrs old.  the child is an only girl, pang 3 sa 4 na magkakapatid.  her reason was she's not capable of supporting the child.  wala kasing asawa.  boyfriends lang.  the father of the baby girl has disappeared.  I actually admire the mother for being honest enough to admit that she's not capable of giving her baby girl a good life.  for sacrificing her own feelings just to ensure that her baby girl will be given a good life.

my niece recently celebrated her 3rd birthday (her first bday with us).   we had a small party for her.  her siblings, cousins, aunts/uncles, and the mom were all invited.  pero the mom didn't show up.  I think, as much as she wants to see how her baby girl is doing, it's much easier for her to totally severe all contacts with her child. 

[iristacey]

yung friend ko, ganun naging situation niya.. buti na lang his dad never got married again and really took care of them. unfortunately, her dad died at younger age.. sad..

[billy]

Dalawa yung nasa news recently di ba, kakaloka. Yung isa, I can't remember kung saan iniwan.
http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/inquirerheadlines/nation/view/20100914-292111/Unwanted-baby-wont-be-wanting-of-a-loving-mother