Would you settle for a guy who already has a kid?

[honey.mae]

You'll never know.

Actually, I'm dating a guy who's way older than me (i like older guys btw) and already has one kid, I like him A LOT and it didn't bother me but i know i'll be in one complicated and difficult relationship , i'm just hoping it works out.

[mydsl]

I'm dating a guy who has had kids with other women. He is legally annulled.

When we met, he sincerely made the effort to change. Now, he's planning on separating with the women in his lives.

Am I crazy for wanting this? Should I break it off with him because of his past? Because of the future difficulty of building our life together? His exes will always be a part of his life — am I willing to accept that?

On the other hand, I have never connected with anyone the way I have connected with him. We are on the same level mentally and intellectually, and I feel so vibrant and alive when I’m with him. Do I throw away the chance for a great relationship just because of the hurdles that we’ll face in the future?

It really is a difficult decision to make.

[lesliehallur]

^ yep. That's difficult. So far, I've became acquainted with men na maraming anak sa paiba ibang babae. All I can say is, it's quite easy for them to walk out of a relationship and move on. Hindi ko naman nilalahat, yung mga kilala ko lang ha. Yung connection, well, they are good flatterers.


Personally, dahil marami na akong kakilala who moves from one woman to the next tapos marami anak from different mothers, I can have them as friends but not lovers. I don't know, the ones that I know simply move from one woman to the next: either madali sa kanila makipaghiwalay or madali sila magsawa (which is worse).

Kapag isa lang yung anak, I think I can live with that, or two from the same woman. Lol. The best situation with kid is yung widower. Hehe. As much as possible, I will prefer single pa din.

[yellowvessel]

I'm currently dating a man with four kids. I have a kid as well. Hindi ko pa sila namimeet, same as him. Unfortunately, kasal kaming pareho. Hindi ko alam kung pano ko ieexplain sa magulang ko situation namin. At alam kong hindi nila yun magugustuhan. My father is strict to me pagdating sa lalake. Ayoko na magtago pagdating sa relationship namin. Yes, sa mga past relationships ko eh patago. Gusto namin ipakita sa mundo na nagmamahalan kami. So what to do? I love him

[lesliehallur]

^ sis. Keep it a secret na lang muna siguro unless, up front na clear sa ex-wife niya and ex-husband mo and ok lang sa kanila? Sangkatutak na criminal cases kasi ang pwedeng isampa sa may asawa pero may karelasyon. Err on the safe side na lang.

[yellowvessel]

^ 5 years na kong hiwalay at may karelasyon na rin si ex. Same as with his ex, at 7 years na rin silang hiwalay. I think wala na silang pakialam sa amin hehe. Concern ko lang si ama ko. I know he's not ok with it. Natatakot nga si bf na mareject sya. Pinaparamdam ko sa kanya na i won't give up dahil sa issue na yun. Ramdam ko din na gusto niya talaga pumunta sa bahay para makilala nya pamilya ko. Kaya kahit mahirap, we'll try to keep it a secret as much as possible. Hirap lang magpaalam pag magdedate kami haha

[iwannabeasupermodel]

I think you should never settle for anyone. Go with the one you chose.

[kaya_3]

Dating one right now. He has a son.  He said the 'baby-mama' married a foreigner and left the baby to him after giving birth. They were never married. In cases like this, I will consider. But if married and 'separated' lang (no annulment), I would say no dahil sobrang complicated non!

[jakh]

My recent ex whom Ive dated for 4.8 years has a son I was very close to. Pag umuuwi ako ng pinas I always made sure that I had time for his son and nakakatuwa kasi gustong gusto naman ako kasama ng bata. We even cried together nung pabalik na ako abroad last year. He was telling me he didnt want me to leave. That was the last time I saw him. I treated him like my own and kahit wala na kami ni papa niya, i made sure that he still got a gift from me last Christmas and lagi ko siya kinakamusta. Btw, Early on in the relationship with the dad, i already met the baby mama and her current partner. 

[vanitygirl]

I think everything is possible when it comes to love. You'll never now how stupid you can be once love hits you.

[plumpolka]

wag niyo na subukan.


dating a guy with a son sa ex nya. I knew lang na may anak na pala sila ng ex nya nung mag 9mos na yung bata. kung alam ko lang ng mas maaga, i wouldnt date him na. super complicated lalo na if the mom still wants to be in the picture. meaning, she's still desperately fighting for his love & affection. and it's a lifetime 'baggage' if you're not in good terms with the ex. although people would say na walang kinalaman ang bata sa mga nangyari, if you dont like the ex, you wont like the kid as well kahit ano pang gawin mo. you'll always see the kid as the ex.

[kvandenhaak]

I actually prefer a guy with at least one kid so he can relate to what I am going through. They are not going to be with us forever naman. At some point they will move out and usually either shared custody or mostly nasa mom ang mga kids so that's okay. It's different sa setting ng mga Pinoy family na usually mas magulo.

[cosmochick]

yes ,if we both love each other and if the kids like me.  Its hard if the kids resent you or still hope for their parents to get back together. Also, as long as the mother has already moved on with someone else. Too messy for me if she still wants to be in the picture.

[Sunflower01]

I've been with a guy who has a 6 year old daughter and sometimes it bothers me. Although wala naman nang chance na magkabalikan and it happens by mistake. Naaawa lang ako sa bata kasi ever since pinanganak siya hindi niya nakita or nakausap ang father niya. Ayaw na ayaw na kasi ni bf na magkaroon pa ng koneksyon sa bata dahil ayaw niyang mainvolve pa yung nanay. Nagsustento before si bf pero nung one time nabwisit siya sa babae tinigil na niya. Grabe lang talaga kasi yung attitude ng babae as in! Nung nagsorry ako at nagoffer ng tulong para sa bata katakot takot na mura, pagbabanta, lahat na ng verbal violence siguro narining ko na thru text at phone calls. Sinabihan pa niya akong mamatay na ako at kukulamin daw ako. My goodness talaga! Kaya simula nun narealize kong tama lang siguro na hindi niya ipinursue relationship nila para lang sa bata or else world war! Mas kawawa ang bata. In other words, hindi natin masasabi kung kanino tayo maiinlove at magsesettle. If you find the "one" you have to accept the imperfections.

[lovemeagain30]

sis Sunflower01 kanino ka nakarinig ng mura at threats sa babae or dun sa bf mo?

[plumpolka]

^ i think sa ex...


di ko alam kung matutuwa ako sa situation mo sis sunflower01 na ayaw ng bf mo i-pursue yung relationship nya sa anak nya. mine kasi, love nya yung son nya. kahit pa itago nya sakin na nagkikita at naguusap na naman pala sila ng ex nya, gagawin niya. it was his fault din naman kung bakit ako nawalan ng tiwala sa kanya pagdating sa ex nya e. but i dont think mapipigilan ko din naman sya kung gusto nya ng relationship sa anak nya kasi 1st nya, lalaki pa. but they're not here naman na, nagmigrate na sila nung nanay. So i guess, part of me is happy na wala na sila dito. kasi kung andito parin sila, i wouldnt go for the relationship i have with my bf. masyadong sakit sa ulo, sakit sa puso, walang peace of mind. pero in a way, masaya parin ako na mahal ng bf ko yung anak nya sa labas (not married). goes to show what kind of father he is. na despite of not being able to work out with his ex, he still reaches out for his son.


pero again if andito parin sa ph yung mag ina nya, i would be out of this situation asap. nagstay lang ako kasi alam kong mag mmigrate naman na daw yung ex nya at anak nya e. mahirap magkaroon ng relationship with single dads. andyan yung mapaghabol na ex at yung bitter na ex. parang bihira lang ata sa mga naanakan yung good terms sa bagong partner ng nakabuntis sa kanila.

[barbillie]

I dated a guy who was 10 years older than me and has a kid. I was 24 that time, he was 34 and the kid was 10 y/o na. Legally separated but not yet annulled. Didn't work out for me. I was starting to grow as an individual, pero sya iba na and ang mature ng mga priorities, of course there's a kid involved. Isa pa, may communication sila nung mother nung bata. And as selfish as I can be, I don't like that. I can't see myself in the future na nagkakaron ng communication sa ex-wife at nanay ng bata.

[sexykhuletzky]

Yes. His past does not define him and as long as honest and open sya sakin sa status nila ng ex nya.

[plumpolka]

Yes. His past does not define him and as long as honest and open sya sakin sa status nila ng ex nya.

super love this. will keep this in mind! ♥

[amethyst028]

I'm dating a guy who has a son. I'm a single mom too so more or less we can relate to each other. We only see each other once a week and that's also the time when he has with son with him kaya nakaka bonding ko yung son.

He is civil with his ex, they communicate almost everyday. One time we are going somewhere and nakasalubong namin yung ex niya kasama yung son. He introduced me to her. The ex didn't even look at me. It was an awkward moment for both of us.

Tip for single women who are dating a guy with a kid/kids, always remember that the kid/kids will come first. In everything. Especially when they are still very young so you will need a lot of patience. It works for us coz i'm also a mom and i understand his situation very well. If you are a single woman who never had a kid this relationship will be a challenging one. Doable but frustrating at times.