Would you settle for a guy who already has a kid?

[abbhie]

has anyone actually dated a single dad??

[sassyrosel]

^i never tried to date any single dad.

However, imo, i dont care if he has kid sa pagkabinata. i wont use it against him. the most important thing is...he is a good dad to her kid. i also wont judge him sa pagkakaron ng kid no matter what reason he has, most especially if he know how he balance his time with me and with the kid.

[abbhie]

im dating one right now actually. its not about the judging that he has a kid. its more the issues that are attached to it.

one more hassle to it is that they are not yet annulled but they have been separated for 10 years and the ex already had 2 husbands after him. shes currently married and living overseas

she comes back every now and then and when she does its hell season. Shes demanding most of the time and driving everyone crazy. Also sometimes its really difficult to be the instant mom to the kid when I have no kids and never been married.

[wickedorange]

the question of dating a single dad is just as the same with dating a single mother.

i am a single momma. so halos wala din pinagkaiba.

here's my take on this:

if the guy honestly told you about his kid and has been trying to be a good father to his child, OO i will accept him. kasi nakikita kong kaya niyang maging ama.

i would rather settle for a guy who is responsible than go for a single, happy go lucky, unstable single men. andiyan na yung past nya na di mo mabubura pero if you look on the other side of it, wala naman siyang tinago sayo.

as a human and being a woman, gusto natin tayo lang. hangga't maari tayo lang dapat ang priority. parang feeling natin gugulo lang kung may bata. being selfish is natural thing for us. pero sa totoo lang, hindi naman kumplikado ang mga anak eh. tayo ba kung hindi buo ang parents natin, gustuhin ba natin matawag tayo ng ibang tao pang-pagulo lang?

if someday you wish to have your own family, loving his child is one good preparation for a future with him. you have a taste on how it is to be a parent. unless balak nyo lang maging fubu lang ng bf mo?LOL.

I agree with you.

I don't think we should take it against men who are already have children and are separated from their wives. Everyone deserves another chance to start things right.

[dyan_sk8]

hindi naman ba complicated sa inyo mga sis?
actually his courting pa naman sa ngayon pero takot talaga ako
baka someday iiwan lang niya ako

[annie_barzaga]

ok [textspeak!], as long as na wala ng connection with his ex-wife or gf. i like kids kasi.. depende rin siguro sa situation. and for those who are bothered, napag-uusapan namang mabuti yan, why not try to talk about it with your bf and ask muna their history with the girl, with that you can base your doubts... kasi if you really like him even though he has a kid already, you'll learn to love his kid...

[abbhie]

hindi naman ba complicated sa inyo mga sis?
actually his courting pa naman sa ngayon pero takot talaga ako
baka someday iiwan lang niya ako

if you really like him give it a try. but first thing is first, you need to get along with the kid coz if not the relationship wont last. And be ready that the kid will always be the priority. Dates can be cancelled and you need to deal with the ex specially if they share the custody.

are they annulled already? coz  if not you need to take that into consideration. There will be a point where in you will question the future of the realtionship. Sometimes that is my doubt lalo na when he has not done any prep to have their marriage annulled

[dyan_sk8]

^actually po 4months palang yun baby niya, at saka yun baby niya nasa  girl. every month he just give money to that woman (as what he said), he just support the baby i dont know about that girl.

do i have the right to ask about the relationship niya at yun nanay ng anak niya?

[abbhie]

^actually po 4months palang yun baby niya, at saka yun baby niya nasa  girl. every month he just give money to that woman (as what he said), he just support the baby i dont know about that girl.

do i have the right to ask about the relationship niya at yun nanay ng anak niya?

i think its ok because you should know what you should know what you are getting into. and as much as you would like to avoid it the ex will always be part of the adjustment.

[themissingx]

Like I said I'm dating one. The kid is already 6 years old, but I've never really met him. He stays with his mom and once a week, the kid is with my guy so they can spend some time together. My guy and the kid's mom were never married, the girl didn't want to get married. It was never an issue to me. It is true that there were days kung san nacacancel lakad namin because the kid will be at his house, pero I don't really mind. He's a dad and it's just him being responsible. It's not like competing with the kid for attention or time because I get my time din naman with him.

So far, no problems have come our way pa naman that has something to do with the kid. I really want to meet the kid na because I like kids but I don't wanna rush things at the same time. Bago pa lang kasi kami, and if I were in his case (if I were a single mom kumbaga), I don't want to introduce agad a girl to my kid if it hasn't been that long yet, kumbaga, you're not quite sure about each other pa. If you guys get my point.. But yeah, taking one step at a time.

I respect his past, and because I am with him now, that means I have to accept whatever it is that has happened in the past.. Anyway, I'm his present na naman, and hopefully his future. haha, cheesy!

But yeah, I don't think kids should be taken as complications. It's just a matter of how you guys would deal with the situation. If you genuinely love your guy, you also should love everyone he loves. And if that's the case, you wouldn't think his kid is a complication or pabigat. :-)

[sassyrosel]

hindi naman ba complicated sa inyo mga sis?
actually his courting pa naman sa ngayon pero takot talaga ako
baka someday iiwan lang niya ako

actually sis, it shouldnt be complicated if sa part ng guy is walang sabit. magiging complicated lang yan kung meron pang someting going on sa kanila nun mother ng kid.

[sheh-la22]

> Well nakakawawa naman ang guy na may anak na tapos irereject lang dahil don. kase pano kung ako yung nasa situation nung guy? masakit yon para sakin.for me depende yon sa pagkatao nung guy.

> for me depende yon, kung tiwala naman ako sa bf ko na wala na talaga sila ng ex nila, e ok na yon.kung magkakaron man sila ng connection dahil sa child ok lang naman.

> kung responsible father naman at marunong maghandle ng situation ok lang

[babypowder99]

it depends, honestly i have standards talaga na dapat single and walang sabit ang guy para di complicated pero iniisipko din na dahil sa standard ko kaya ako di nakakakuha ng partner pag may  may dumating naman its either may anak  or binata nga at walang sabit pero di naman sya seryoso sayo, mahirap na nowadays maghanap ng guy na walang sabit at ok,

i don't know  im just speaking lang with my experience inisip ko na what if tanggalin ko standard ko as long as mahal naman ako ng guy kahit may sabit sya basta wala na sila nung mother ng kid nya minsan lang kasi parang against my will kaso baka naman sa kakaantay ko ng guy na binata e wala dumating at dun pala ako naka destined sa iba e umabot naman na ako sa pagiging old maid because of my standards ang hirap

[dcccxxi]

NO! Ganyan na kasi situation ko ngayon eh. May anak sa una [textspeak!] husband ko. Mahirap sobra.. Blood is thicker than water talaga. 

[lovemeagain30]

para kay sis dcccxxi bat pinatulan mo ang husband mo knowing he have a child? tinago ba niya sayo or alam mo na sa umpisa pa lang?

from my pov, kung tinago.. ala kang choice kundi tanggapin yung past niya.. pero kung sinabi naman sayo nuon pa before getting married, that's different.. unless tulog ka nun pinakasalan mo siya. 

[dcccxxi]

^Alam ko una palang sis. Pero wala sa usapan na ititira nya kasama ko yung anak nya. Sa 6 yrs namin na pagsasama ngayon lang nangyari to. Hindi nya pinaalam sakin na mag mmove yung anak nya with us. At dun mag ttransfer ng school. Pinaalis kasi ng mom nya sa poder nya at dun samin pinatira.
Grabeng maldita ng anak nya, pinagkukuha nya mga gamit ko even my DSLR camera binenta nya pangbili ng drugs. Montik na kami nagdivorce ng asawa ko. Iniwanan ko sila ngayon dun sa bahay namin at umuwi ako dito sa pinas.
Tapos yung mga damit ko na kinuha nya sinosoot nya at pinopost nya pa sa FB na suot suot mga damit at gamit ko. 16 years old na yung anak nyang babae actually sa kanya lang talaga ko may problema dun sa ibang anak nya naman wala naman kasi hindi ko rin nakakasama sa bahay. Siguro kung yung magiging step child eh bata pa at halos sakin na lumaki siguro ok lang yun kasi madali pa disiplinahin pero kung matatanda na mahirap na...

[carmichael18]

sa akin walang problema... kasi i think it's not fair naman kung ang mga single dads like the single moms ay hindi makakakuha ng partner just because they have kids na...

besides mahilig ako sa bata... pero i know cute ang sila pag bata, pag lumaki na masakit na sa ulo... pero napapag-usapan naman yun eh... kaso mahirap kung tipong 3 or 4 na yung anak... hehe parang naisip ko, 3 agad naging anak ko...

[lovemeagain30]

^kung sabagay sis dcccxxi  may punto ka na maldita ang stepdaughter mo.

well isa kasi yan sa mga possible scenarios kapag nakipagrelasyon ka sa may anak (either single mom or single dad), umpisa palang you should open the idea na sainyo titira (one time or another) ang anak nila. kasi anak nila yun di ba, san pa ba sila titira? they have the option to stay with either of their parents if they want. parang mga magulang natin pag tumanda, satin din sila titira kung gusto nila.
so bilang step parents we should embrace the fact for that.

alam ko mahirap sayo sis dcccxxi , however talk it out with your husband. be honest on how you feel and ask how can you compromise with the situation. baka isa lang din eto challenge sa marriage niyo. maldita na kung sa maldita na ang anak niya pero anak niya yun eh.. tama ka matimbang talaga ang dugo.. kahit naman siguro sino they should love their child/children more -- over their second husband/wife.

lessons to learn nalang na bago pumasok sa ganitong sitwasyon( ang magmahal ng may anak)-- pinag iisipan ang lahat ng possible scenarios. para iwas heartache sa huli. 

[shahram2010]

i can relate with this situation..4 months ago i broke up with my bf for 3 years..

we are on our 6th month when he admitted that he has already a 1 year old son then..he explained that,it's his son with this girl who also live in the same building he live before,and he really intend to have a child then because he was earning a lot,and he thought that he should have a child para hindi masayang yung kinikita nya,he thought that "para saan pa yung pinag papaguran nya kung wala lang mppuntahan?"..he really feels old then in the age of 29..and more revelation that he told me was that he's separated for m,ore than 5years but not yet  legal..their annulment was still in the process..


he didnt admit it to me before because he was afraid that i won't accept him..but because i am an open minded person and because i love him so much then i accepted him..

our relationship was ok then..we are very happy..after two years again another revelation had shocked me..na nkabuntis na nman sya ng babae..accidentally..it happened daw during our 8month in a relationship..i told mysef before that once is enough 2 is too much..but when he told me about that,nagdalawang isip muna ako..kasi i really love him..and then he introduce me to his family..and i thought that his mother does'nt want me,kasi tinatarayan ako..and kung ano ano sinabi sakin,because of our age gap of almost 10 years..and about his son, his situation and everything..btw, his first son is with the care of his parents,pero sinusuportahan nya,his family doesnt know that he has another son..

pero lahat lahat yun tinimbang timbang ko..i thought ayoko ng gulo, i want a good family..gusto ko attention ng future husband ko samin lang ng magging anak namin,ayoko ng may kahati sa lahat..and ano nalang iisipin ng family ko?..i am the only girl in the family..i have 5 brothers..and ako palang nkkgraduate ng college samin..  and unti unti my love for him fade away, until came a time na di ko na sya carry ikissor even ihug..

and just last new year i broke up with him...at hindi ko pinag sisisihan yun..im very happy now.. 

[lovemeagain30]

^ tama lang na hiwalayan mo yung ex bf mo sis shahram2010.. sorry ah pero masyado siya ma-L! una pa nga lang di ka na naniwala na ang una anak niya ay dahil gusto lang niya may paglalaanan siya ng pera niya.. what a lie.. tama ka bata ka pa nga siguro nun.. madaling nabola!