Would you settle for a guy who already has a kid?

[muahmuahmuah]

im ok with it. at this day and age and the range of guys i meet (actually i dont meet but know)...well there are a lot of single guys naman..therell be a child or two or three tucked somewhere may they come from a previous marriage or from a relationship that didnt work out. im cool with it. siguro basta hindi ko kasing edad ang anak niya nyaha kidding.  ndi naman ako anti gurang or yung tatang overload na twice my age the hubby to be - siguro yun yung pet peeve ko in finding a mate. pero currently and from experience i got surprised myself for accepting and being so open to the possibility.

just awhileago i was thinking of the same. if id end up with a guy who has kids,  considering the age na baka naman id be such a frozen delight by the time we find each other and my capacity to bear him an offspring is by way of a miracle nalang and a dance number in obando, then id be really glad that hes experienced fatherhood, ofcourse  given the other set of qualities i seek i'd be comforted that he's become a responsible dad and provider to them. 

im more concerned about what we will be creating and building together as partners. our experiences molded us to be who we are,  who we are took us to where we're at in our lives and where we're at is what brought us together.

so if its love and it's a relationship we both are wholeheartedly willing to work on i'll take it.


 

[hazelbrown_eyes27]

nope. I dont want to be an INSTANT MOMMY!

[bella123]

i dont mind even if the kid is with him,kudo's for him!, i am even willing to befriend the kid's mom for a the sake of good relationship,my brother has an 8 yr old step daughter and i treat her as my own niece.

[luisacart]

i'm fine with it. as long as hindi itinago sa akin from the beginning of the relationship. walang problema sa akin. ang ayoko lang is itinatago sa simula ng relationship tapos sasabihin sa akin kung kelan mahal ko na sya, i would feel angry and hurt not because of the kid but because what u believed about him is a lie pala. it's a major trust issue for me. kasi kung gaano kaimportanteng bagay itinatago sa akin, ano pa ang kaya niyang gawin?

[isobel]

if i'm in love with him, then it's not settling.

but if there's a current gf involved, like in the threadstarter's case, then no way. i think you should just tell him straight that you just want to be friends. wag ka mahiya i-turn down ang offer niyang maging kasabwat sa plano niyang pagcheat sa gf niya.

[shopaholic18]

for me, i won't...i have nothing against them but i don't want to settle for someone like that...

[kaoru]

for me okay lang if he has a kid eh. basta syempre na wala na sila ties ng mother. xmpre you can't stop na once in a while they will be seeing each other. as long as yun feelings nya for you is secured and hindi naliligaw.

[fall2pieces]

he still invites me to meet but i keep my distance and don't reply to his texts. i just don't know how to properly say to him that i don't want to enter into a relationship with him. i don't want a complicated life.

[hazelnuts_88]

I had suitors who have kids already and when I say no and state that the reason is because they have  kids they don't get my point. I have a point naman diba mga  sis? I mean I'm still young (21 yrs old) and I took care of myself kaya wala pa kong kids and I don't really want to make things complicated. Mahirap ba intindihin na I still want to enjoy my youth? Para kasing minsan pinapalabas nila that I'm making a big deal out of little things and masyado daw akong maarte. Maarte ba masyado mga sis na ayoko magkaron ng complicated na relationship with a guy?

[fall2pieces]

^agree. it's not being maarte. you have your standards and they should respect that. we're on the same boat, i too don't want a complicated life. ayoko ng maraming hang ups sa buhay.

[justbeingme]

masyado daw akong maarte.

Yan ang linya ng isang lalaki na nabasted.  LOL. Tama naman yan ginawa mo. You stood by your principles. You do not want a complicated life kaya you did not get into one.

[hazelnuts_88]

^ Thank you for understanding mga sis! Well ang latest sa guy na to, super bitter siya. As in weeks na niya ko hindi kinakausap. Pero I think I made the right decision kaya ok na rin. Kung gusto niya maging friends ok lang naman pero nothing more than that. At alam niyo ba na sinabi niya sakin na 2 lang kids niya tas nalaman ko sa officemate namin na 3 pala kids niya. What's wrong with the other kid bakit kelangan pa isecret diba? Ano ba yun. Super good decision talaga nagawa ko.Ü

[charlottemarie]

it depends on how much i like the guy but as much as possible i wouldn't wanna get involved with someone who has a kid. kahit papano eextra parin ang nanay + mahirap magpalaki ng bata, kung di pa iyo lalong extra effort.

[wickedorange]

yes, doesn't make him less of a person

I agree. There are cases of guys who were left to raise their own kids. Nothing wrong with that.

BUt if the gf/wife is in the picture, no way. I learned my lessons before. You'll be at the losing end. Iiwan ka nyan.

[Chinita Princess]

If andyan si wife/gf, di talaga ako papayag.  I don't want to have a complicated life.

Pero if he is a widower, maybe I could give him a chance especially If I really really love him

[caprice]

yung brother ng boyfriend ko ganyan... annulled with 3 kids. he's 41 na with kids age 18, 16 and 13. meron syang naging gf na 13 years younger sa kanya. ok silang dalawa pero ayaw sa kanya nung parents ng girl which is very understandable kasi sobrang achiever yung girl. same subdivision pa man din sila so alam ng parents yung kwento ng brother ng bf ko.... nung bago pa lang sila, kinausap si girl ng mom ng bf ko. kung alam ba daw nya yung pinapasok nya... umabot naman sila ng 5 years pero umabot na rin sila sa point na naipon ang mga issues lalo na dun sa ayaw ng parents ng girl sa kanya. that was more than a year ago tapos ngayon may gf na naman sya. 16 years younger naman sa kanya! napapailing na lang kami ng bf ko... swerte lang nung mga girls kasi sobrang bait ng mga kids ng brother ng bf ko. naiintindihan na kasi nila situation ng tatay nila. ngayon naghihintay na lang kami kung tatagal sila ng bagong gf nya... sa ex-wife wala namang problem. sya kasi yung nagloko kaya wala syang tapang na manggulo pa...

[heartbroken]

Do you know what it doesn't matter if the guy may anak na as long responsible siyang father. The mean thing is hindi paki alam ng exgf niya ang relationship ninyong dalawa.

For me it doesn't matter if you love the guy you will learn how to love the children.

[mooncake and leaves]

if i'm in love with him, then it's not settling.

agree 100%. it wouldn't be settling.

right now, i don't know. as much as possible, ayoko. but you can never say who you're going to fall in love with so for me, if that situation presents itself, i hope i'll be matured enough to handle it. i'm sure it has drawbacks that an ordinary relationship doesn't have. my father is a single dad and i feel sorry for his girlfriend because his priority, to this day, is kaming mga anak niya. and ang tatanda na namin. haha. so you know, it's hard. you're always going to be second. but then again, if you are first, you know you're not first. HE is first. because any man worth loving would always put his children first. that's the way it goes.

[st_upid]

oo siguro.

[FOURever]

wala pa ako plano magpakasal. tagal pa yun haha! pero sa akin, depende ang sitwasyon na ito. si bf, may anak na siya. nagkaanak na siya way before i came to his life. wala ako karapatan magalit. pero wala naman problem as of now kasi tinago nung babae yung anak nila. nasa ibang bansa na yata sila. parang choice din nung girl. souvenir yata (yun ang lumalabas sa ginawa nung girl). pero tinatanong ko si bf paano pag bumalik dito, yung anak lang daw ang responsibilidad niya, hindi yung babae. pero kung ayoko raw, di daw niya pipilitin na kunin yung bata. syempre sabi ko ok lang.

pero hindi kung kami na ng magkaanak siya sa iba. ibang usapan yan. hehe!

nakakaawa lang si bf kasi aga niya nagka-baby. 15-16 kasi siya nun tapos 21 or above na yung girl parang ginawa siyang sex thingy nung girl. aga tuloy nagising sa kamunduhan. pero ingat siya sa akin. hehe! alam niyang konserbatib pa ako.