on wife who cheat...

[spicyangel]

di ko naman hate step kid ko, its just that di ko gusto ugali nya na materialistic. pag kelangan ng pera tsaka lang magpaparamdam at marmaing hinihinge sa papa nya na sobra sobra naman talaga.
ohh well ... di ko pa alam ang gagawin ko, alam ko ngayon na sobrang mahal nya ko.. lage nya ko binabantayan sa ginagawa ko, lage nya gusto sumama sakin ... which is minsan nakakairita na...  i'll try to work things out for us... i'll try to correct all my mistake before its too late... tama ka, mahirap mahuli dahil gugulo lang.

[simplemind]

Baka naging extra sweet siya sayo kasi baka nakaramdam na rin, or ngayon siguro na napansin niya na di ka na affected sa gagawin niya saka naman siya naging clingy diba ganun naman lage pag di ka na affected sa mga ginagawa nila, minsan sila ang nagiging affected sa mga ganyang actions ng babae..threatened na sila jan...

Good choice yan sis pag aayusin mo pamilya mo and give your husband at least a last chance to prove na rin na nagbabago na talaga sila and work things out, kasi di mo rin alam kung maghihiwalay kayo aayos naman kaya buhay mo sa bf mo now or sa iba if ever? ang mga naranasan mo ba sa asawa mo good and bad lalo na good side makukuha mo kaya sa iba yan? timbangin rin at kung worth ba i risk ng ganun ganun nalang....

Have a happy holidays at sana maayos mo family mo sooner..

[miss resilient]

IMHO ,,, if he really loves you like he tells you .. why don't he fixed everything then live with you "peacefully" without all the complications?

maybe because i'm still with someone else..

[lovemeagain30]

uber hirap magkaron ng kabit. tama man o mali ang mga rason nito, kasi ang babae sadyang selfish. kung ikaw ay may kabit wala kang karapatang magselos sa kahit na sinong dalwang lalake kasama mo or gusto mo.. plus! wala rin karapatang mag-demand sakanila. isa pa dun dapat alam din natin kung tayo lang ang babae ng kabit natin..mamaya kabit lang din pala nila tayo!kumbaga patas lang.

ngayon kung single ang lalake at tayo ay legally married, asahan mo wala sa isip nyan ang magkaron ng long time relationship sayo.. as in lifetime relationship.

eventually hahanap din sila ng ibang single and unattached na babae kapag gusto na nila mag settle down. kumbaga pang matagalan at tahimik na buhay.. at dahil may asawa ka (mahal ang annulment sa Pinas) lalo nat kung may anak pa malamang sa malamang hindi ikaw ang piliin nya makasama ng matagal.
masakit pero totoo.

ngayon kung ang lalake ay may asawa din at hindi annuled ang kasal, ang relasyon ay walang pupuntahan. baket kamo? Una mahal ang annulment.. aabutin kayo ng pagtanda at gagastos ng malaki para lang dito. Pangalawa (given walang plano magpa annul) anung goal ng relasyon kung sa huli di rin mauuwi sa kasal. Well pede naman magsama sa isang bahay pero kasi kahit sinong babaeng naglilive in sa partner pag tinanong mo ng totoo nangangarap parin ng kasal. aminin man nila o hinde! kasi po babae tayo gusto parin natin ng salitang "security" at walang relasyon nagtatagal ng wala nun. Kaya nga may ibang tao nagpapakasal ng mahigit isang beses dahil ang kasal para sa babae security blanket nya un para sa relasyon.

ngayon kung pareho ng annuled ang dalawang tao, walang masamang magsama at ang salitang kabit ay hindi na applicable sakanila.. pero malamang pag annuled ka na at malaya na sa dating mahirap na relasyon at dating asawa, hahanap karin ng taong walang asawa, walang problem at walang sabit. kumbaga iikot at iikot lang din ang kwento. baka nga sa huli, hindi rin ang kabit mo ngayon ang gusto mo makatuluyan.

[ayrise]

^^

sis why don't you leave the one you are with? i know it's not easy as it seems.. but isnt it better to go throught the proper channels..  settle your separate issues first tapos saka kayo magsama .. kung talagang gusto niyo magmahal ng tahimik mas mainam na ayusin niyo yung respective relationships ninyo .. madami masasaktan kaso ganun talaga eh.. kaya mahirap magsama ang kabit ng tahimik hindi ba? ...  hayy .. sobrang naintindihan ko situation mo .. pero hayaan mo siya patunayan ang mga sinasabi niya sa pamamagitan ng actions .. not only words ...

[pomegranate]

Why cheat? Que simple ah, just leave.

[girl24]

^i dont really know what will happen and what to do if he found out. all i know is im happy with my life now with or without my husband. i dont care kung palayasin din nya ko.. after all the pain he caused me.. wala ng sasakit pa dun... i thought i forgave him but i was wrong.. i know that having an affair is not an answer to my problem... i know the consequences and i will accept everything.... he pushed me to the wire. we dont have problems now unlike before, but i know in my heart that i dont love him anymore. ayokong sakin manggaling na maghiwalay na kami. i dont know.... i have this attitude na takot magsabi ng goodbye... but when the time comes na iwan nya ko and mag goodbye sha.. tatanggapin ko yun... i wont hold him back.. noon mahal na mahal ko sha pero ngayon hinde ko na sha mahal... yun lang yun.

hi sis spicyangel, i just want to ask you something sana. me similarities ang experiences natin. shorter lang yung sa akin, we have been together for 4 years and hell talaga. he cheated not once but thrice. and i want to ask how did you know you don't love your hubby anymore. that you got fed up? kasi yun ang tanong ko lagi sa sarili ko, until when ako magtitis, iiyak, etc. >>> to mods, if out of topic pls. delete na lang... <<<

[miss resilient]

^^

sis why don't you leave the one you are with? i know it's not easy as it seems.. but isnt it better to go throught the proper channels..  settle your separate issues first tapos saka kayo magsama .. kung talagang gusto niyo magmahal ng tahimik mas mainam na ayusin niyo yung respective relationships ninyo .. madami masasaktan kaso ganun talaga eh.. kaya mahirap magsama ang kabit ng tahimik hindi ba? ...  hayy .. sobrang naintindihan ko situation mo .. pero hayaan mo siya patunayan ang mga sinasabi niya sa pamamagitan ng actions .. not only words ...

hindi rin naman kasi ganun kadali yun, di ba...i guess im not willing to give up my current relationship as of now...lalo pa ngayon preggy ang gf niya. hayaan ko na lang muna siya doon...ngayon if he comes back..i dont know pa rin eh.

@lovemeagain..i certainly agree to what you are saying.

[migzbeth]

napunta ako dito sa forum when i am trying to seek advise on the situation i am in now.

i've been married for 9 years and been a good mother and wife. nagkita kami ng ex (bf ko siya for 4 years) after 6 years, nahanap niya ko sa friendster and we started texting / chatting but i resisted the temptation especially he too has a family on his own.

until december last year, my first boyfriend sent me a message on fb. nahanap niya ako sa facebook after 20 years! and that's all where it started. we exchange numbers and started calling / texting me. sabi niya matagal na niya akong hinahanap. he's currently outside of the country kaya di pa kami nagkikita and i am afraid na magkita. he is very sweet and caring person opposite of my husband's. could it be the reason why i am starting to fall for him?

i was thinking baka magbago itong feelings ko if i see him personally pero natatakot ako kasi baka hindi ko ma-deny itong feelings ko....

i still love my husband and yes, nawala na iyong spark. but i wanted to save our marriage for the sake of my kids.

just airing it out! sori po kung napahaba.

[ayrise]

^

sis hanggat maaga pa at kaya mo pa iwasan.. tigilan mo na .. kaysa naman dumating ka sa point na pagsisihan mo yung gagawen mo .. if you really want to save your marriage, then stop it right now..

mahirap magsisi sa lahat at hindi mo na maibabalik lahat... lahat lahat ng mawawala sa iyo .. sa simpleng text at chat yan lahat nagsisimula.. trust me.. i should know ..

[migzbeth]

thanks sis ayrise....

vulnerable talaga ang karamihan ng mga babae especially kapag hindi tayo masyadong nabibigyan ng atensyon ng mga asawa natin and when a person comes along who gives you that satisfaction, we easily fallen into the bait.

hindi ko alam why ganito ang feelings ko sa kanya..... probably its a part of me being sentimental. siya kasi ang first kiss and first boyfriend ko. i've always kept the cards / letters that he gave to me all those years. it seems i've subconsciously longing for him but i know its not the point now as i've already committed to someone else.

i am trying to focus my attention now to other things than think of him....

[gneybee]

Pag babae ang nag-cheat, malalim ang dahilan. Hindi basta temptation lang. There are deeper issues na hindi nata-touch at naso-solve. Karamihan sa babae na nag cheat kept the secret till the end kasi they do not really want to ruin their families or hurt anyone. It's just that merong part sa kanila ang hindi nasasatisfy. The most sensitive part of the woman --- the heart.

I agree with this sis...nothing can justify the deed but it all boils down to one thing.... she has fallen out of love....and when she does, mahirap na talagang ibalik yung dating pagtingin sa husband...

[christine00900]

You will have to ask yourself only 1 question: How would you feel if you find out hubby is also doing the same thing to you?  As everyone else mentioned, marriage is a lifetime commitment.  Which is why we do not/should enter into it lightly. 

A married friend (who's also a pastor) once told me, once you enter into a serious relationship, your respective partners should become your best friend as well.  Kasi if you have a close guy friend (one closer to you than your husband), then you might fall in love with this guy during your most vulnerable moments.  Psychological po yan e.  Ala-knight in shining armor perception ba.

Try to work things out.  Exhaust every option.  Kung wala na, then think up of a legal solution. 

[maeka]

i've been through this...

sis pray ka palagi kay God so you'll be enlighten, hindi ko alam ang situation mo...pero one thing i know is hindi ito tama...kung alam mo na na makakasakit ka ng ibang tao sa gagawin mo wag mo na ituloy...

sabi nga ni papa jack "not because you can, you will"

pamilya mo na ang asawa mo, kung nawawala na ang pagmamahal mo sakanya, at least dont loose your respect for him...

[complicated_liz]

I agree with this sis...nothing can justify the deed but it all boils down to one thing.... she has fallen out of love....and when she does, mahirap na talagang ibalik yung dating pagtingin sa husband...

i agree with this.. super agree

[harlet]

kung mabait si hubby mahirap kumawala sa relasyon.....kung alam mo na gaano kasakit sa kaniya yung malamang me iba ka malamang di mo gawin.... pero kung hindi, napakadali para sa isang babae maghanap ng lalaki na pupuno ng kakulangan ng asawa....

[harlet]

^hayz, feel ko yung nararamdaman mo sis....wala na pag tinignan mo si hubby kinakain ka na ng konsensiya mo....if i were you focus on him na lang....lilipas din yang nararamdaman mo sa iba....isipin mo na lang trial lang sa 'yo yan kung gaano ka kahina o kalakas sa tukso....

[maeka]

^hayz, feel ko yung nararamdaman mo sis....wala na pag tinignan mo si hubby kinakain ka na ng konsensiya mo....if i were you focus on him na lang....lilipas din yang nararamdaman mo sa iba....isipin mo na lang trial lang sa 'yo yan kung gaano ka kahina o kalakas sa tukso....

ano nga ba yung sabi sa movie ni brittany murphy na just married??
"its like there will always be this big elephant following you every where you go" this is the scene nung hnd nya sinabi sa husband nya yung about sa ex nya...

parang ganito yung feeling kapag may tinatago ka sa asawa mo...

[harlet]

^true sis....pero me mga babae lang talaga na insensitive sa tawag ng conscience...or say mahina lang lumaban......specially kung wala namang problema sa hubby, ba't mo pa gagawin yun.....but still, sa di maipaliwanag na dahilan, nagagawa pa din.

[queencath]

Maybe its time to refresh your memory kung bakit mo pinakasalan husband mo.  The very reason why you fell for him(your husband).  Remember the times when you we're still sooo in love that no one can stop both of you from getting married. 
Once more thing, sabi nga nung Priest na friend ng husband ko,  "God gives us enough grace to fight temptation."  Meaning to say, nasasaatin na lang talaga kung magkakasala pa tayo.  Doing the right thing is not always easy but no matter how hard, try to do what is right.  MOST IMPORTANTLY, dont forget to PRAY.