hello mga sis. i am just a newbie here but i've been reading this forum for a year na. I signed up kasi I really need to vent and ask for advice.
I am not sure if this is the right thread so dear moderators just let me know.
live in po kami ng boyfriend ko, I am already 23(well I am not saying that justifies it, just for reference)
anyway eveything is smooth, but then my older sister(two years older than me) transferred here in manila so she can work. of course since mga kamag anak namin ay sa province I felt it was my obligation na karguhin sya. So my boyfriend and I went apartment hunting, kelangan namin bigger place. Since we are at it, yung friends ng boyfriend ko who are also at that time looking for a place decided to join us. So we found an apartment, up and down with two bedrooms. habang wala pa sister ko sa manila, yung isang room ay para dun sa friends(2 boys) ng boyfriend ko, the other room samin ni bf. Everyting is smooth kasi wala naman sense of responsibility si bf sa friends nya, although the friends are kind of irresponsible pagdating sa bahay but that is another story....so dumating si ate ko, my bf transferred sa kabilang room....he would miss me and would go back sa room namin ni ate ko kapag andun na ako...but then as time passes by, di na nagustuhan ni bf yung room ng friends nya kasi sobrang burara yung isang roommate, as in nangangain ng gamit yung room...before it might be ok, but siguro nagkapreference sya sa orderliness because of me. So I asked him na to talk sa friends na to swap rooms, sa amin yung bigger room then my bf can just stay sa room namin ni sister...at first, everything seems to be running smoothly, my sister has no job for more than five months kasi my problem sa documents nya, so sagot namin ni bf yung bills nya, food and all...then si bf pa tumulong mag asikaso ng documents ni sis, at kahit na nadidisappoint si bf na kahit resume ni sis ko sya pa nag aasikaso, hinahabaan pa nya pasensya nya because he doesn't want me to be stressed...and then nagkawork si sis of course kami sumagot ng allowance nya, and then we didn't ask her to pay bills muna kasi mejo mababa pa sweldo nya... It could have been ok at that point. But my sister, first time here in manila, got intoxicated sa freedom na inooffer ng manila. She got wild, you know, daredevil baga. I warned her nung nasa province pa sya not to let manila gets the best of her. She didn't listen. My bf kept bugging me to talk to my sister, kasi sabi ni bf nagsselfdestruct si sis ko, Even friends ni bf sinasabi na to watch out for my sister, one look sa friendster ni sis ko they said mabubuntis si sis ko. and like a gospel, my sister got pregnant! by a man 10 years older than her! it was kind of long story but yeah she got pregnant. at first the guy is in doubt kung sa kanya yung bata, kasi ba naman ewan ko ba sa sister ko why she wanted to cultivate this impression dun sa guy that she's young and wild, She'd tell her na he's not the only one she's doing 'it' with, that she has other boys. Well ske kind of, coz an ex officemate of mine, who kept on stalking me through email and phone, one day this ex officemate called me and it was my sister who answered it and boom they are already bestfriends!they haven't met yet for crying out loud, kahit akong officemate nya at laging nag eemail sa akin sa office eh I have not talk to him ever, and god knows kung ano pinag uusapan nila sa phone, she doesn't even erase the evidence. I don't know sisters what happened to my sister then..but like my bf,(which might be a mistake going back now) hinabaan ko pasensya ko, thinking it might just be a phase, she'll get tired soon. tsaka stressed din naman ako sa work that time. but then yun nga nabuntis sya, and the guy she's claiming na tatay ng bata ay in doubt, they even planned to abort it. I was thankful when i was able to persuade her na ituloy ang pregnancy. So she has to stop working, ayaw nyang umuwi sa amin at ayaw nyang sabihin sa parents namin. I dont want na magdagdag sa stress nya,so I let her be muna. Kami uli sumagot sa expenses nya sa bahay... and then nalaman ng family ko at pinapauwi sya. the guy na nakabuntis sa kanya ayaw syang ihatid at natatakot, eh sinabi ni sis ko sa parents ko yung pregnancy two months before due date nya, alangan naman papagcommute namin sya. So I asked my bf to spend the weekend na lang na ihatid si ate ko. So kahit na deliakado the kotse kasi old na yung tires, sige pa rin, all for the comfort and safetiness of my sister....
nga pala, all through out the pregnancy ng sis ko while she's staying with us, sobrang stressed out na si bf, kasi ganito yun..before na malaman namin buntis sis ko, I quit my job, kasi nga stressed out ako sa work to the point na lagi ako nagkakasakit. So my boyfriend asked me to quit my job, do the business na matagal ko na gusto gawin, at sya muna bahala sa akin kahit na pati yung every month na binibigay ko sa parents ko. for 5 months akong sinusuyo ni bf to resign kasi naawa na sya sa akin, so I gave way kasi I also want to have my own business and I saw the opportunity habang bata pa ako at merong susuporta sa akin...but yun nga, just when I am about to start my business, the problem of pregnancy came. My sister has no savings kasi nauubos lagi sahod nya, I have no money kasi i bought materials sa business ko, and the guy na nakabuntis is irresponsible, pabago bago ng isipan.
So nahatid na namin si sister sa province, my bf and I are back sa manila, kahit papano we had a break sa stressful na life. But then, come panganganak day, my sister has no money, binigyan pala nung guy na nakabuntis ng money si ate ko but my sister didn't handle it well. naubos sa everyday expenses, plus bumili sya ng bagong cellphone! what can we do, I asked my bf for help, ayun binenta nya his cellphone and psp so he can lend the money sa ate ko...
so tapos na yung pregnancy, after a month my sister came back here, and we are back to square one. she had to look for another job, kami muna bahala sa expenses and allowances nya...But this time, my bf di na sya ganun kapatient, kasi naman ang dami na nyang sinacrifice for my sister, not only the things na binenta nya(that's nothing sa kanya) but more importantly yung privacy namin, yung stress-free life naming dalawa like before. Ngayon tuloy mejo maikli na pasensya sa akin ni bf, kasi kahit naman may inis sya sa ate ko he wont act it out sa harap ni ate ko, sa akin dumadaan yun. My sister kasi, for some reason, wont take care of herself ngayon, tsaka minsan mejo walang consideration sa bf ko or di lang napapansin. Kasi nga diba we stay in one room, nakikigamit sya ng electric fan namin, but then my sister for some reason wash and wear sya, like maglalaba sya ng damit nya na isusuot sa work 5 hours before the work nya, then patutuyuin nya sa electric fan, eh my bf is sleeping at mejo sensitive sya sa init. My sis has been doing that eversince, kahit madami sya damit, akala namin magbabago na sya because of the pregnancy experience but it seems same pa rin. she lacks discipline, she keeps on complaining to me na naghihina sya, paano she wont eat and sleep. pagtatabi ko sya ng food but she wont eat it(addicted sya ngayon sa facebook), so my bf magagalit kasi ayaw nyang may nasasayang na food, of course sa akin yun magagalit kasi di ko daw pinagsasabihan sa ate ko. And also she doesn't help me with chores, kahit na pinagkainan nya ako naghuhugas. nung buntis sya ok lang sa akin, but until now?there was this one time na pinaglaba ako ni bf kasi I dont feel good then, sya lang nagsuot....so yeah madami pa issues...sa akin naglalabas ng sama ng loob si bf, nagagalit sya sa akin kasi di ko magawang pagsabihan si ate ko, which is true. I can't, my sister kasi has a rebelde attitude. ayaw din nya napagsasabihan, madali sya magtanim ng sama ng loob, and she has this mess with me and you mess with satan motto.. mga sisters i dont know what to do? I mean how do i brought it up sa sister ko without hurting her, tsaka without making her feel na my bf wants her out. kasi my bf wants us to live separately, hintayin lang daw namin na maging stable si ate ko sa current job nya so she can look for her own place, but how do I tell my sister about this? for sure mafefeel nun aabandon ko sya kasi kami lang magkamag anak dito, pero I want to have my own life na din.. Her son pala naiwan sa province....tsaka she always share her problems kahit sa guy na nakabuntis sa kanya, sa office nila or kung anuman, and I am getting sick and tired. Kasi ako hangga't maari di ko shineshare sa kanya...what do i do, i feel like I'm smacked in the middle, trying to keep the harmony and balance between my sister and my bf, pero reality is their interests and situations conflict. I know I have to rock the boat na, but will I have the guts?kasi baka in the end maguilty lang ako, my sister doesn't know how to take care of her. My friends are telling me na masyado ako mabait sa kanya, that I should live my own life...tsaka nagiging dependent din sis ko sa bf ko financially, eh my bf and I nahihirapan kami magbudget dahil na rin sa kanya. Kasi feeling ng sister ko it is still the same na pwede syang makiusap na kalahati muna bayad nya sa house bills, kasi ngayon we're on budget kasi Im pursuing my business(it's about time), wala naman kami magawa, si bf parin didiskarte,lahat na ata ng gadgets nya nabenta na nya, kotse na lang ata..lol
but yeah, my bf kasi is only child, and his dad has this unit but since di nya nagagamit kasi nasa US sya, the dad is willing to let us use the unit...but since hindi sa bf ko yun syempre nakakahiya naman isama ko sis ko,i want to have my own life plus it will really help us sa finacial aspect. But how do i tell my sister, what exactly will I tell her without hurting her felings. How do I prepare her? Natatakot akong kausapin and confront sya with her issues kasi baka mag away kami, syempre may mga sama ng loob din ako sa kanya kasi because of her carelessness eh nadisturb ang tahimik kong life.yun ang iniiwasan ko, ang mag away kami. For sure kahit ako ang tama maguiguilty pa rin ako...
sisters, sa kinahaba haba ng post ko, the bottom line:my sister's life and the issues it entails is taking a toil on my personal life and relationship...what will I do. can someone guide me?
thank you so much just by reading my post...
mwaah to you all...
ang sarap magshare, kahit papano narelieve ako. sisters, I am only 23, is it bad ba to dream of my own peaceful life?is that abandoning my sister, what if magtanim sya ng sama ng loob sa akin at ako pa lumabas na masama?
now to relate with the thread, ayan na nga so this time around maikli na pasenysa si bf pero sa akin lang naman dinadaan, eh ako din stressed out din at mejo maikli din patience, kasi nagsasawa na ako sa problems na binibigay ni ate ko...madalas tuloy kami mag away ni bf ngayon, all because of issues na both of us walang kasalanan, kasi kahit naasar ako sa ate ko kapag nagrereklamo si bf pinagtatakpan ko pa rin si ate ko, tapos mag aaway kami, tapos makikita ko si ate ko just minding her own issues,,hay....so minsan naaasar ako sa bf ko kasi minsan di nya nacoconsider na nahihirapan din ako, but then again kapag cool na head ko mahihiya naman ako kasi my bf do not deserve this life...hay buhay...issues and all...
