INHERITANCE - to get or not to get?

[aquacharly]

MOONIE -- thanks for the reminder.  The properties in the name of the kabitzers ... yan ang biggest nightmare ng mother namin, tapos kami.   

Actually, sumasakit na ang ulo ko talaga sa sanga-sangang complications.  I asked a dear lawyer friend of mine to please please please help my mother sort out the kabitzers problem.  (I am really sticking to "burn the house down" as a 1st line of action.)

Actually, this is the scary part now. 
Achi said we should all pitch in to increase to double the security of mom when she goes to the province. 

ANGELVEN.. thank you for your patience in reading through this lengthy potential movie.  LOL   Thank you for the encouragement.

RATACUTIE ... LOL2x   I really get names confused.  Madalas akong pagtawanan ng sisters ko because of that.   I think ako nga nagpa uso ng term na Donya when talking to acquaintances.   Kasi I frequently forget names!   My hubby said ang pretentious nyo ha!  Eh sabi ko alangan naman I say Inday eh di magagalit.  LOL

OO nga DEREK.  hehe  naisip ko siguro yung Dexter shoes (may ganon ba?)

Tama nga kayong lahat... that is the word most use for Jay Manalo ... malaswa.  Kaya nga my siblings are sooo relieved tapos ko ang crush ko sa kanya. Si John LLoyd na lang and Brad Pitt.

I really am not into artistas too.  But si Jay Manalo hay naku... that was a disastrous, scandalous 1st time.   LOL ... inangklahan ko daw per Achi, sa  forearm nya.  I reallly cannot remember sa dami siguro ng stars in my eyes.  LOL   

ALNA -- si KRIS?  hehe.... true, mas Kris- like ako if you will ask my siblings.  Walang preno ang words kung minsan, demanding, mainipin.... pero hindi ako ganoon ka spoiled ha. Pero maarte nga ako, and flirty. 

Actually, mas Kris si Mother.  LOL   Yun spoiled eh. 

Gusto ko pa rin si Angelica!   I am really obsessed with the way she speaks.  Siguro kasi ang taray ko ha.  And well, to have such innocent sad eyes!   

Teka, ano ba itong pinaguusapan natin?  LOL    masaya din naman tayo, movie na nga ngayon. 
My Ate will say, tomorrow ... after I make my usual Tom & Jerry show (my sisters say when I make kwento it is sooo entertaining. Ano, clown?!  Hindi daw but I have such enthusiasm and humor and drama daw. ) -- kwento ko about what AKTHUNG started.... my Achi will say tigilan mo na yang ilusyon mo!  Ang ambisyosa mo talaga!

Good night!  Thanks AKTHUNG again for the humor in this day.

God bless all.  Mag luluto pa ako ng pasta sauce ko.   

[akthung]

hehe

sabi ng mom ko kamukha ni McGee ng NCIS si John Lloyd 

[ratacutie]

^^Mahirap talaga pag may inheritance na pinag uusapan tapos malala pa sa old old Mango tree ang mga sanga sanga ng asawa, kabit, anak (may mga illegit ba mga kapatid mo sis?).  Kahit na nga yung family ng friend ko, ayos naman silang lahat pero nagkakagulo pa rin because there's a family business plus a sibling that needs a guardian.  Kaya nga kami ng asawa ko, eh basta, sariling sikap na lang...bahala na kung makuha ko yung nararapat sa akin from my grandparents (both sides...grabe gulo kasi may mga second generation na "nag-aadvance" ng mana hehe).  Sa parents ko naman, wala kaming gulo kasi sila na mismo nag a-aportion ng mga bibigay sa amin tapos wa kami care what we get hehe.  I guess, as I said before, yung para sa 4th generation lag iniisip namin.  Dapat fair is fair lang.

By the way, sis, yes, may Dexter shoes...hehe mas alam k dexter's lab...cartoons eh haha.

[iggypop]

thanks aquacharly for entertaining/amusing us with your kwentos... am deeply saddened watching tita cory's funeral but somehow i got distracted and is now laughing dahil sa kwentos mo...

re Mana Po/Bul2 Part1/Kalokers Part1, sino kaya bagay to play your brothers? baron gysler type ba? 

[aquacharly]

Hay naku, IGGYPOP  nalungkot din ako sa pag papanood ko nang wake ni Cory. 

The Family-I-Came-From did not fare well, business-wise, under the Cory regime.  Maka Marcos kasi si Pop. But ... given the recent revelations about her, specially about the necro ...  eh she sure was one heck of a lady.

Nakikita ko the painting given by Cory  sa office ni Paul when I go have stuff made.. hmmmm, during the necro he said "paintings" plural daw. Wow.

Nakakasabay ko din sa Piandre at Anapolis si Cory now and then.. she sure is quiet, and her security discreet... like Imee Marcos too (who even waits quietly reading for her turn kung wala siyang pre-set appointment).  Actually, it is Kris who is maingay and Anabel Rama.   hehe

What a great mother she was!  Unconditional love.  For obvious reasons, nakaka inggit ano.

Status namin now.... we just want the Executor to finalize the listing.  And then there is the BIR to settle 1st, I insist.  P1.25Million for the 1st P10Million; then 20% on the amount in excess of P10Million.  Ouch din ano.

Hay buhay, alam mo naman ang BIR... magkakaroon pa yan nang various valuations... kung saan kuno maka "save" tapos banatan ka ng hati sa savings.   I said I do not want to oversee this aspect, to have the Executor handle it all na lang.

And yes, RATACUTIE, 2 brothers have illegitimate children.  But the issue of illegitimates is for the one who died.   He has the most no. of  illegitimate children.  Actually the 4 known to all as his "children" are also illegitimate (hindi lang sila ang illegitimate children ha).   
He has no children with his legal wife, who has a son and a husband/lover and resides in Europe now.
Hmmm, dyan pa lang movie na ano.

Magulo nga kasi, as MOONIE pointed out... the kabit has no right to own properties of my brother.  Eh there have been some properties owned by the family that (hindi umaamin si Mother kasi pano nangyari) we do not know how eh basta na transfer to the name of the dead brother and his kabit or the kabit and their 4 illegitimate children.   

Magulo.  As I told hubby,  the goal in life should be to lead an orderly life.   

Thank you all for  your advice, interest, prayers and encouragement.  God bless all.

[ratacutie]

^naku sis, napaka-complicated nyan.  Nightmare lalo na sa hatian. 

[yang]

 i somewhat feel you aquacharly. ganyan din kasi mom ko obviously impartial siya when it comes to me.

[mami violy]

haiz natapos ko din pong basahin at naaliw ako  ng husto.

alam mo sis dun sa mga advise mo sakin sa kabilang thread para kang walang prob na mabigat tapos ngayon nabasa ko sya wow yun lang po ang masasabi.

matatapos din yan and we pray after all hatian of mana ay magkaroon pa din kayo ng peace of mind and will still help each other as a family.

share ko lang din yung sa family namin medyo sinuwerte kasi ang tatay ko na makabili at makapagpatayo ng ilang bahay kada bili nya nilalagay nya agad sa pangalan ng mga kapatid ko sadly yung ate ko nahiwalay sa asawa nya tapos yung isang bahay at lupa sa kanilang mag-asawa nakapangalan. gusto ng ibenta nila tatay kasi nga sad yung story nung bahay na yun kaya lang prob si BIL ayaw makipag cooperate sa bentahan. gusto nya may share sya dun haizz buhay talaga.
sa aming magkapatid ako lang ang walang bahay at lupa because I chose not to have one. feeling ko kasi mas kailangan yun ng mga kapatid ko.

God bless and TGIF!

[orangeee]

hi sis aquacharly, been an avid follower of ur post haha nakakatuwa naman kasi.  Nakaka-entertain mga posts mu kahit papaano nakakawala ng problem kahit sandali.  Just keep on posting... at the same time I do learn many things from u too.

[aquacharly]

This past week was nothing different.
Akala ko after what... a month na of guerra patani, over a month na ata, eh ....   the legalities would have sunk in.... lalo na sa kukote ng mother namin.  Hay buhay... wala pa rin.  I think our lawyer uncle and her other lawyer are just about ready to jump off Guadalupe Bridge... hwag lang syang pakinggan uli sa pinagpipilitan nya gusto nyang mangyari.

I tell you!  That mother of ours has soooo much energy. Dyan ata ako nagmana nang pagka hyper, and multi tasking eh.

Ngayon naman ang flavor of the week nya last week eh the family of the dead brother.  Si Kabit and the 4 kids.  Our old Yaya keeps surreptiously in-touch with us.  Text, text.
Actually, whether she likes it or not, I keep track of her.  Matanda na rin si Yaya, and she has HB; and who will take care of her if she gets sick?  Eh ang mother ko wala namang paki yon kay old yaya.  And I know she misses all of us.  Teka, mabuti pa ata yon na miss kami, pero si Mother.... na miss kami kasi gusto kaming barilin siguro.  LOL

Per the lawyers, she has been very busy with her showdown with the Kabit.  She is having the TCTs in the name of the kabit reversed back or having the kabit sign Deeds of Sale... parang when we finally get into the sharing of properties .. eh madali na.

So far, per our lawyer uncle eh successful si Mother sa face-off nila ni kabit... kasi where we all are now, kabit has nothing to gain by p1ssing off any 1 of us.... kasi  in contact nga si legal wife, and we know where to get hold of the other illegitimate children.

I do not want to be judging other people... basta hindi kabit ng husband ko... LOL!   or kabit ng BILs ko ... LOL... but, medyo ewan ko t@nga ba or makapal lang talaga kasi ang name na linagay sa mga TCT eh her first name and  our family surname.  Eh hello?!  hindi naman sila married ano.

Si Achi quick on the draw.  She relayed through the Executor that we are not going to pay for the expenses and taxes and whatever for the TCTs that will be correctly put under our names kasi hello?!  kat@rant@duhan yan ni dead brother... so his share of the estate should pay for such.

[aquacharly]

hi, MAMI VIO!  Yeah, it is 1 of my better traits... that I can see it all with a sense of humor.   Otherwise, when my marriage was bad... baka napa contract out ko si hubby for P15thou ... but that was before July 2006.  LOL.  Bad, but well.. sabi nga when you are in the throes of mental torture... madami kang himalang naiiisip, at ewan na puedeng gawin. Kaya nga... breathe and do not let your emotions rule you ika nga.

Going back.... do not cut yourself out from your share.  Alam mo, I arrived at that from the advice of our co-posters here.  Que kunin mo or hindi ang share mo... may masasabi pa rin ang contra sa yo. And you have your children to answer to later on... bakit hindi mo kinuha Mama?  They are young now, but you never can tell how much "wiser" they may soon think they are vs you.  LOL

Atchaka, magagamit mo your share to help whoever lands in the kangkungan.   Ako, 1 of the reasons I work to keep my secret accounts fat.... out of sight and out of reach of hubby is that .... kung dumating ang araw my side of the family... a sibling, a niece or nephew should need help for further education, a business or what na hindi kalokers ha!  ... I can just help out in a heartbeat.  Kung walang mangailangan... good, I will leave it to charity,  my daughter/s, even daughter-in-law... .  hehe... secret accounts uli.      

So, get your share.  You will be in a better position to help others out, and to do good.

As for that swapang BIL -- heartbreak nga sa father mo.  That is why I am soooo in favor of pre-nups talaga.  As long as you have that contract that does not go against any morals and laws... puede.

Another way to circumvent that is to put the property in the name of the grandchildren with the parent-child as the administrator.

ORANGEE... I am glad you are amused and you learn something helpful.  Kaya naman we are all here posting in whatever, to share what knowledge and experience we have.

YANG   wala tayong magagawa sa mga mothers who are not like Cory.  It is just the card dealt us.  Nakakainis nga, nakaka frustrate... but there it is.  I just learn from it all, like you I am sure.. and hope that we do not become anything like that with our own kids.

God bless all!

[maika14]

^ you know what sis, you got me thinking..

i am so awed of whatever it is that you do. like, you always have a back up plan come hell day. i mean, yep, im thinking of having a secret account too before. but thought myself out of it. but now, im beginning to see the real benefit of it.  and would probably start the saving soon.

how do you go about it? hindi napapansin ng asawa mo? i mean, hindi ko alam kung maitatago ko ba sa asawa ko yun. haha yun ang malaking tanong.

i want my kids din naman na may makuha sakin kung mawawala ako. ayoko din kasi yung majority ng funds, umiikot sa business. risky pag nakalabas lahat.

i grew up in an environment where people around me are employed. ang asawa ko ang negosyante. so upon entering his family, i can see where the bulk of the money goes. being used to having salaries on a specific day of the month,knowing na dadating yung sahod mo no matter what, nakakatakot for me isipin na panu kung this is not a good month business wise?

well, it's just me. i know, a lot of you can juggle that. walang katapusan ikot sa negosyo. it's a risk, I know. ilang beses na din kaming nag usap ni hubby tungkol dun. pero what if...?? hindi kami sigurado db?

so yung secret account, kelangan matutunan ko yan! haha! problem, panu ko itatago? 

na OT ata ako dito haha! 

[hunny_ally]

i'd say, fight for your share.

that's same thing i told my husband when he was contemplating of sending SPA to mom-in-law. eh knowing her, magpapauto lang yun kay bro-in-law.

hubby keeps saying he doesnt want any share from whatever properties dad in law left. eh he has every right over them. there was even one time of he was thinking of giving his share to bro in law. i told him iwawaldas lang niyayun sa cars

[aquacharly]

MAIKA 14 -- sayang we cannot access that thread on Secret Accounts anymore.  Ang ganda ng discussions doon.. both pros and cons.

OT lang ha but I hope the others give us a little slack coz it is important for women.  The purpose of a Secret Account, let me clarify, is for emergencies, bad luck turns, crisis... mga ganoon.  It is not for a bag, for a DI, a lover, for expensive lunches, for shopping.   But, if your kids hit their teens and it is hard to explain to hubby their social requirements -- but you are convinced it is good for their character and development -- ang pang gastos doon eh will come from that secret account.

So many ways to feed secret accounts -- cash gifts from hubby, in laws, parents, etc. etc.  Windfalls like commissions on deals, etc etc.   Even part of your regular income or salary.  Sidelines. Be creative.

The deal about keeping it from hubby's knowledge... is because pag hindi alam na may ganoon ka, he will continue to provide for most if not every requirement.  I am not saying that all men are this way.  Basta... como the secret account is for the unexpected, generally, ... dapat hindi na factor in yan sa regular living di ba.

Now, how do you keep it secret?  Many ways.
Maintain it in a bank with instructions not to send you statements.  Or send statements, notices etc to your mother's or sister's house.   It is prudent that you make someone you trust a co-signor... in case you drop dead... there should be a blank check to withdraw 99% of it all. 

The thing is, if you have money, do not let it lie idle in a S/A -- but paikutin mo pa to make you more money.

My husband must know at the back of his head that I have funds.  Kasi when he gives me a big amount for myself... I do not go off buying jewelry or what.  I buy dump trucks and lease it out to our construction company.  Of course!  I collect ha.  LOL
Mga ganoong racket.   

Just a couple of months ago,  there was a property up for grabs.
But, given that we are globally in for hard times... and a couple of months ago, parang everybody did not know how far below we would all globally sink... my husband was not gonna risk tying up funds (in a frozen/standby asset)  that will be more useful  for the business 1 fine day.   Ganoon kasi when there is "blood on the streets" ika nga,  "cash is king".

I asked him if he thought that in the long run that property would be good for the family investment portfolio. Take note... family ang 1st criteria ko, not business ha.   It cost a high double-digit million kasi.  I brought that out of my secret account... and he was so pleased that naku!  may ganoon pala akong amount.  (Of course, I did not reveal the rest of it... ano ako, t@anga?!   LOL) 
That also cemented the respect due me as an equal partner to this marriage.       

But I did not get to that point without being creative, without postponing my current wants.  Kung aasa lang ako sa mga cash gifts and the rare pakupit kupit... wala.   All that kept me going vis-a-vis  my Secret Account was that if my marriage breaks down, and my husband like other men in my family and some of my friends -- suddenly becomes mean with finances... sure, I may be heartbroken but I sure ain't gonna be a Loser.   
I will be able to lead a beautiful life pa rin, with my children under my care.  Coz that is how the world turns... whether you have money or none, have a lot or a little.... when the sh1t hits the fan.. it is the mother who is the 1 left responsible for the children.

Women should not be discouraged if at 1st isip nila wala naman masyado malagay sa Secret Account.  Do not block your future development; let your potential bloom!
Kahit na ba maliit yan... it is so much better than a zero di ba. 

And keep in mind too, that money is not everything.  Money will not make it all happen for you.  It is still you na kelangan magpaikot sa pera mo (hindi tulad nang iba ang pera nila ang nagpapaikot sa kanila).

BUT -- money always helps.  Kahit na konti. 
It can give you that breathing space you may require to gather your strength, to survive a dark night, to keep you from throwing yourself off Guadalupe Bridge. 

And as my Achi once said:  her secret account funds the dresses her daughter requires to attend dress-up parties...A husband will ask:  hindi ba puede ulitin ang damit?!  or, ang mahal! ... Her daughter's hug, smile and appreciation daw are more than enough reward for her scrimping.  Atchaka,  that daughter will afford better dresses and all later on ... but she will never forget how her mother took care of more than just her basic needs.   Priceless! di ba?

Thank you all for your patience for letting us go OT here.  The Secret Account is an important part of my advocacy for Women/Personal Empowerment.



Kaya yang inheritance issue na yan within my family -- I always remind them.. money is best used to make someone you love happy... best used shared with someone in dire need....   so talagang hindi ko maintindihan why our Mother insists on making swapang to her daughters, some of  whom sure would gain peace of mind, security and happiness from a few millions she can spare.

The other day, I felt down kasi  our family is so polarized now.  Si Mother is really close minded ... and not likely to change her stance. "Ako ang magulang, ako lang ang tama..."  inspite of what her lawyers say.  Siguro her friends are like-minded. Hindi katulad natin dito... we stretch ourselves to expand our viewpoints -- lawakan ang pananaw, lawakan ang pag intindi.

Then 1 of my sisters... mind you,  she and her husband are  government employees na hindi corrupt ha.  They have 3 kids in good schools.  Walang kibo ito, they lead orderly lives. 
Now may mga maturities na pinilit ko some of the siblings receive an advance from.  Sinabi ko, since not all of us are asking for a share/advance now... pano naman malugi si Mother at isipin nya na malugi sya sa final kwentahan ng sharing?
So, 2 sisters got an "advance".

This 1 sister bought a simple car for her kids to use.  At least,  safety nang kids nya yon... instead of nakiki sakay, nag commute sa gabi.

Then she said something that made me leave our lunch with other sisters agad.. kasi baka maiyak ako.
She said that with the interest she will get from the placements now -- she will be able to buy better food for her kids. 
Hindi sila ginugutom for sure, but food is simple.  And imagine!  ganoon ang family happiness nila... better food on the table.

She said at least hindi sya stressed out now with her market expenses... kasi she said  kahit na anong tipid mo sometimes eh...  talagang mahirap nga she said to put good food on the table.
That was the 1st time she mentioned food to us.

So .. sabi ko nga, why do I want my share now?
No longer for our mom coz she has more than enough. Greedy na nga tingin ko eh.
But in case a sibling lands in the kangkungan or meets a big crisis (I pray wala) -- mabuti nang may standby funds ako.

Why should I (as some of you pointed out)  stand by and just let our mother throw good money after bad by throwing money at the kids of the dead brother -- parang walang katapusang balon sabi ko nga.
Eh may share naman sila from my dead brother's share and estate... and bakit kelangan deprive my sisters?

Why should a sister be deprived of peace of mind and ability to put better food on the table to give more than what another sibling's family needs... considering that family has already wasted a fortune.

So there.  Life can be more imperfect, apparently.
But,  so there... we have to make difficult choices.
I just cannot NOT rock the boat. 
I have oftentimes wondered if the cost to this nasty guerra patani (hindi na nga patani eh guerra lahar rocks na!)  is worth it all?
Baka dapat pinabayaan ko na lang my mother with her greed, kaswapangan, her controlling nature...
Wala naman akong personal gain na inisip talaga at the start.
I just wanted fairness.  Oo, aminin... I am a Libran... hindi ko binibigyan ng importance yang mga signs signs ek-ek dati.. But, in my case it  struck me these past few months... ganoon nga ang buhay ko.. I always strive to put in place what is fair. 
So marami na akong nasaliang guerra patani. hay buhay.
Kadalasan nga hindi naman ako the party-to-profit; but there, that is the bane of my life... Hindi ko kayang talikuran what is not fair.

Sometimes too, it is hard to accept the truth..  even when everything around you points to that painful truth.
As the quiet sister told the lawyer-uncle last week:  "She was not a good mother you know."
Uncle-lawyer just kept quiet.
I never verbalized that, no one did. 
But when we heard that sister relate it... nobody contradicted it.

So, it is sad that we have a mother who is angry at us.. who is comforting herself with her delusion that her daughters are "sakim". 
Imagine! that word she used daw per a brother.... Like that "bul2" word  -- eto nanaman ako... I had to go ask what it really translated into.  But this time, nobody laughed as with my query on what bul2 meant.

"Sakim"?! 
When she has 50% right off  (some are hidden, beyond our Executor's accounting, for sure) ... When she has that 50% PLUS the share in the 50% balance equal to the share of each legitimate child? (wala kaming illegitimate sibling eh).  Tapos, kami ang  "sakim"?! 
I really do not know where some people get their words.

Tell me, is giving birth to another person enough license to do what you want to that person?
Like -- I can malign you, mistreat you, bring you grief kasi... pinanganak kita!
?!?!?!?!?!
 
So there,  this is as complicated as real life can get vis-a-vis inheritance; vis a vis money and properties.

Sabi ng lola ko noon... if you want to see the true character of a person (mga suitors) .,.. watch how they conduct themselves when they gamble.
Hence, we frequently had mahjong, black jack, poker, pusoy and yes... strip poker (LOL)  in the house with friends and all.

It holds true beyond what my lola says... it is the attitude and attachment to money that best defines a person.

Mabigat sa dibdib ha.  My husband says I have been depressed for the last couple of days... Well, so there it is.... She was never a good mother.
She will continue to not be a good mother.
That is the card dealt to us.  What  can we do but accept it as our Reality, and move on.
Our family is dysfunctional, as a sister has long long said...  and the silver lining is that we have each managed our families differently.

It is saddening that the family broke down because of the inheritance problem.
But talaga ngang it is not the money that is the issue -- but,  how we love or not love each other; respect or not respect each other.

I must also go back to what is basic, for me.
That at the end of the day... what you have to live with is yourself. 
Your family may be gone, and you are literally and figuratively alone as in ALONE -- or you may be the toast of the town... but it is yourself you have to live with.

Life will never be perfect; people, more so.
But one must always try to be a person better than what she or he was yesterday.
For other people,  there is no issue with that... because they have an airtight delusion or belief they are right, always.  But that is their script, not yours.

Thank you all for seeing me through this.
As I have told family and friends at times: Sometimes it is complete strangers who are kinder, more compassionate,  or more understanding.

Thank you all for helping me go through this.
I hope you have not come away empty-handed likewise.  I hope I have given you some new knowledge, some new insight, something to expand your perspective... or amused you at least.

God bless all.

OO nga pala... thank you for your patience with my long posts.  Hwag ako batuhin! 

God bless all.

[aquacharly]

HUNNY ALLY... what has set my mind on getting the legal share of any inheritance... whether you need it or not, whether someone needs it more or not.... basta get it!  ...

     coz you can do something good out of it.
     Keep it or return it, or give it away... you will be in an additional position to help someone.

[chubs]

sis aquacharly, oh my, light bulb moment ito!

I read this thread regularly, but at the back of my mind, sabi ko, pagdating ng panahon, siguro ako hindi ako makikiagaw sa mga brothers ko ng share of the inheritance... baka kasi isipin nila, I'm mabilang and sakim sa money....

I'm chinese, and in a traditional chinese family, the daughters rarely gets a share of the inheritance, because the priorities nga talaga are the sons because they are the one daw providing for their family, while the daughters naman have their husbands to do it for them, I completely understood this theory, kaya all along, nakatanim na sa mind ko na, I will never ever depend or even think of my share of the inheritance, sa kanila na yun, I'm not sakim and I can take care of myself even without the inheritance...

although in fairness to my parents naman, ngayon palang they always make parining na all of us will be given inheritance, yun nga lang hindi siguro EQUALLY divided, probably mas malaki yung sa mga sons,

even with this statement coming from my parents, isip ko parin is, hindi, kanila na yun, (sa mga brothers) they need it more than I do...

but upon reading Sis aquacharly's post, light bulb moment talaga, na what if one of my siblings falls into "kakungan" nga, how will I help?, ok sana if I will have more than enough to share, e kung wala, makiiyak nalang ako?....... tama, I can have my share of that inheritance to be put to good use in the future...

I was englightened na, if you get or fight for your share of the inheritance, it does not mean that you're mabilang na and all, kumbaga, safekeep mo lang, in case nga somebody will badly need it in the future...  wag naman sana...

ok, now I'll gladly accept my share, but i pray super matagal na matagal pa to... hehe

[maika14]

major thanks to you, sis aquacharly, for sharing your wonderful life with us. the ups and downs. the bright side and the not so bright. even without knowing you, you have my respect sis. well, if ever we see each other, you might not even tell me that story if yours naman. but since,we share one passion (reading and loving GT), i get to meet a person just like you.

sis, you rocked the boat na. you have left the pier/port already. why back out? ikaw na nagsabi, kung sinong sasama sa boat, mag stay dun hanggang makarating sa next pier. or else, ihuhulog mo. (something in that context?hehe) so kung mag back out ka, ikaw pa ang mauunang tatalon. so i guess, keep the fight. kung maraming masasaktan, talagang ganun. its for the best of the majority. sabi nga di ba? "the end justifies the means"? maganda naman ang plans mo. its not at all selfish and corrupted.

sis, good things happen to good people. kung san man makakarating yang fight mo, as long as you do what's right and fair, you will be guided by the supreme being. your siblings will be forever indebted to you for sticking up for (with) them. this is not only your fight. gaya ng sabi mo. laban nyong lahat yan. so go sis! cheer ka namin dito sa GT.

[aquacharly]

CHUBS -- yes, keep that in mind.  And yes, let us pray that your inheritance issue comes after a long, long, long time.

MAIKA14... ah hindi ako aatras coz fair is fair, the law is the law.   And some of my siblings will have that elusive peace of mind and some material comforts with their share.  Atchaka,  naka rent na ako nang banca and we are all in it.

There was just a spot of time there where nawalan talaga ako nang gana about getting my share. But that is water under the bridge na.
Instead of thinking na our Mother will always see me as the Medusa who started the ball rolling against her... eh isipin ko na lang sagot ko kay Akthung... kung maging movie eh I want to be portrayed by Angelica Panganiban... hehe
   
Actually, what depresses me is that I know our mother misses the company of some of my sisters.  I am sure she does not miss my company.  hehe
But I know for sure she misses it that I am not around to give practical advice, and not around to do it for her...  kasi ako nga ang takbuhan ng serious problems nila... and I get french fries in return.
Hay naku, I told 1 brother -- where are your ballz?  kelangan you take charge now... since she is not talking to any daughter... ganito gawin mo, ganito sabihin mo gawin ni mother,  etc etc etc.   At hwag mo ko mapadalhan dalhan ng french fries!!!

But I have this niggling insight that our mother is that kind of person who must have conflict or a big problem  in her life to have a purpose to live.  Kelangan laging may ka-contra para siguro she feels "bida", or she needs to insist she is the 1 to be followed.  Or, because that is how she establishes her self-worth?  na she has problems on her shoulders?

Siguro, she does not know how to enjoy peace.

But MAIKA,  I truly believe that what we are going through is an opportunity for each one of us, that God has thrown our way, to become a better person. 
Whether we make something of it or not,  well ... as they say, there is Free Will.
I do not want to judge others.  I do not want to speculate who is in a position for the best character "make-over".  For all I know, God will say:  Ikaw!  ngek. 

Si Achi, como she has time to spare, kasi hindi na sya spending time with Mother... hindi nga kami daughters kinakausap lahat...   eh parang retarded... bumabalik sa nakaraan naming childhood.  She asked me:  So, what is the best lesson you learned from this? 

Naku Achi, matanda na ako! 
Matagal na akong me bul2! (ouch!  na slap ako on the arm!)   Hindi na ako yung small sister mo na lagi kelangan may "What I Learned Today"  report to you before the required:  "And now I lay me down to sleep...." etc
Hindi rin ako nag fulfill ng prophecy nyo na maging baaa baaa black sheep ako.   

Hmmm... what I learned?  Eto, Achi!:
Spend it all!  Do not leave much for the husband, the DILs, the kabits, the illegitimates or whatever to enjoy.   Before you drop dead,  bring your whole family and peripherals on a grand vacation... and spend it all!   hehe   
Spend it all and do not share with the BIR.   
Spend it all, instead of spending millions in the hospital and on doctors   (Doc, ikaw ba eh nagpapagawa ka ba ng bagong bahay?  Or, nag papaaral ka ba ng anak sa US?  OO?  Sige, bye!  lipat ako nang doctor)
Spend it all, tapos... jump off Guadalupe Bridge na lang or... hahaha  1 of those pedestrian bridges over the LRT.. just be sure you jump just before the LRT passes parang bull's eye ka;  or else  ouch ouch ouch!  you just land on the roof.   Hopia! 
Hwag ka magpamana ng pera.  Magpamana ka ng Birkins!   

Achi said:  g@ga!   


God bless all.  Happy weekend!

[akthung]

but upon reading Sis aquacharly's post, light bulb moment talaga, na what if one of my siblings falls into "kakungan" nga, how will I help?, ok sana if I will have more than enough to share, e kung wala, makiiyak nalang ako?....... tama, I can have my share of that inheritance to be put to good use in the future...

I was englightened na, if you get or fight for your share of the inheritance, it does not mean that you're mabilang na and all, kumbaga, safekeep mo lang, in case nga somebody will badly need it in the future...  wag naman sana...

ok, now I'll gladly accept my share, but i pray super matagal na matagal pa to... hehe

Hi Sis, eto yung shinashare ko noon as per my family's experience.

As in uber daming clan members na mentally challenged. dala siguro ng pagkaspoiled. I remember my cousin during our kiddy days having numerous toys na kala mo toy store na ang living room. basta kung ano ang latest, meron siya. kahit noong high school siya ganun, latest toy or gadget for his age, kaya ayun. hindi nakapagtapos. Pati yung ibang mga pinsan ko ganun din nawalan na ng gana.

My dad was deprived of his share ng ano mang blessings sa family niya kahit noong gf pa niya mom ko.

Now, a lot of them, eh nasa kangkungan na. Mahirap talaga maging cocky kasi pag baliktad na ang mundo mahirap na like my cocky uncle, kesa connection this and that. senator, general ek ek. Tinatapakan pa my Dad. ayun, when the business fell, his friends ran away din. nasa kangkungan na din Tito ko ngayon. He even requested my dad for a Laptop for his kid attending College.

most often masakit sa isipan talaga na kinawawa ka at lahat, deprived of the family's blessings, tapos yung hard earned money mo gusto pa nila.

Help we did. Pero nag-sawa na din kami. kasi the more we help, the more bumabalik sila sa kaswapangan nila. maganda na yung may clear boundaries. Good fences make good neighbors.


and clear boundaries will make them see how clearly you are going out of your way (out of your fence) to help them.

kung hindi pa sila maconsyensya, ewan ko na.

Kaya eto sabi ko sa parents ko, both mom and dad:
"we have to tow the line!!!"

kasi a lot of people talaga do not know how to make sacrifices.

Like me, ilang taon akong nagsacifice, no gimmiks, no tv, no movies etc...kasi tutok ako sa negosyo, i had a goal and a time line.

Tapos later makakarinig ako ng "ang mayaman talaga, pera ang ipinaiiral" 

or "bigay ng tatay niya yan eh"

(F(*&^*!!!!)

tapos, mangungutang sila just to maintain their lifestyle.

as for the mana, stale mate talaga. madaming cases na nabubulok ang mana dahil sa pagtatalo, dahil hindi "magalaw" ang ari-arian. for me, better cut to the chase, hatiin clearly. para mag prosper ang dapat magprosper.

as per my uncle, pinsan, etc...well, they sold almost everything. Nakapagtapos naman ang mga tito't tita ko. the Promotor eh graduate pa ng Accountancy.  It's karma talaga. They lost the Midas touch that my lolo had.

It's always easy to sell something. and later, pag wala na ang mana. they'll make reasons kung bakit yung share mo eh dapat talaga sa kanila din. eto ang nangyayari sa amin ngayon.

kung may clear na usapan na kung kanino ang manok at baboy. maiiwasan yang sour graping at finger pointing.

isa pang problema namin ngayon. since stale mate ang magkakapatid, (and my dad's religious beliefs are keeping him from taking matters to court.**) nakikita kong kawawa ang next generation. it's like a lock combination that only your uncle knows. eh pag namatay, how to open? kung sirain mo baka ikaw pa ang magnanakaw.

maganda yung ngayon pa lang, claro na. para ang iisipin na lang ng next generation yung future nila, kesa yung past and all the related issues. clean slate ba.

(**some beliefs kasi do not emphasize the balance of mercy&forgivenes with Severity&order. too much forgiveness and mercy leads to chaos. too much m&f quite often creates a barrier to things we should learn.but sa akin lang eto.)

kaya kung sa akin lang, basta kung kakayanin, ayusin na agad. I'd rather spend 1,2 or 3 frustrating years fixing those things kesa naman spend the rest of my life (and children) experiencing suffering.(mang gugulo yung mga yan.if not, lucky you!!) Not to mention yung mental stress and worries na magulo ang next generation.

some people kasi ganito mag isip "ah, bahala na, buhay na nila yan. sila na bahala mag ayos"

obviously, these kind of people do not realize that we are one and the same.

[iggypop]

God Bless you sis aquacharly and sis akthung na din...

dito lang kami mga gt sisters