Relationships with Different Religion

[slickchick]

I thought "hindi possible" na kasal kayo yet you go to different churches, especially kung may anak. Nangyayari naman pala, and siguro nasa pagpapalaki na rin ng bata para hindi sila confused. This sounds like a good option, and I think I would like to talk to my boyfriend of less than a year about this already. Hehe.

sis, I honestly think that this would really depend on how permissive is your bf's religion. there are some religions that do not allow interfaith marriage (like INC). you're lucky if your bf's religion allows interfaith marriage - yung tipong hindi ka ire-require mag-convert, otherwise matitiwalag si bf mo. about your parents, maybe they are just worried that your bf will force you to convert in order to continue the relationship. siguro, ayaw lang nila na pipilitin ka mag-convert without you fully understanding his religion, or yung magco-convert ka dahil lang sa bf mo (which I think is very wrong). again, it all boils down to how permissive is your bf's religion. kasi if his religion is permissive, he should be able to explain to your parents that he's willing to respect your faith, and would not require you to convert. just my opinion... 

[anirtak127]

I thought "hindi possible" na kasal kayo yet you go to different churches, especially kung may anak. Nangyayari naman pala, and siguro nasa pagpapalaki na rin ng bata para hindi sila confused. This sounds like a good option, and I think I would like to talk to my boyfriend of less than a year about this already. Hehe.

Yes, this is possible. Depende talaga kung gano ka open minded ang couples. I have churchmates na Catholic ang mga husbands, so hindi nagsisimba sa church namin ang mga husbands. Pero yung mga anak nila sa church namin lahat bininyagan at lumaki. In fact, active pa nga sa mga church activities, unlike me. Hehe. I also think na as long as hindi contradicting yung beliefs and faith nyo, hindi naman kayo mahihirapan mag explain sa mga bata once na magtanong na sila. Though I know this will also be a challenge for me too in the future.

[Girltalker2]

I have an officemate who's Catholic na nung college ata sya, may pinopormahan daw syang babae na INC. I'm not sure kung naka-second date na sila, tapos kinausap na daw agad sya ng parents nung babae about converting to INC. Na-shock daw sya kasi nga nasa getting-to-know stage pa lang sila eh may conversion na agad. Ayun, he stopped pursuing the girl. Hindi naman religious si officemate, though he yearly attends the Feast of the Black Nazarene. I think hindi sya open sa idea na magko-convert sya, lalo pa very strict ang INC.

That's why I think kung devout ang isa, yung isa dapat willing mag adjust or understands what he/she potentially could face kapat nakasal sila.

Kasi wala naman issue kung hindi devout ang mag-aasawa, either one is comfortable kahit anong religion ang partner nya, or one is not forced to convert and changes his/her lifestyle for the partner's religion.

[Mr.Punch]

^ Agree. basta babae yung magc-convert. 

I initially thought na kaya ko magconvert if ever necessary, for love. Pero I don't think madali to convert from Christian to Muslim. Especially satin dito sa Pinas, hindi nanga tayo ganun ka devout Catholics, converting to Muslims require a lot of dedication and change. I have the impression Mulsims pray a lot. Every Friday kelangan magpray, tapos parang may time din sila every day. Kung dito nga sa Pinas, ang daming hindi na nakaka attend ng mass na isang oras lang the whole week, tapos magc-convert ka pa sa Muslim na talagang serious sa religion nila.   It requires a whole lifestyle change not only 1 aspect of your life.  Sa kinakain din, you are constrained. If your husband's family is really conservative, matitiis mo ba magsuot ng burka all the time kahit na 40 degrees na?

Well, to be fair, hindi naman lahat ng Muslim na babae naka-burka.  Maraming klaseng Muslim, and like Christians, merong mga liberal at merong mga panatiko.

You'd be lucky if your Muslim husband is not conservative..... and luckier if he does not require you to convert to Islam.

========

For some nice background reading on liberal vs. conservative relations within Islam, I recommend the graphic novel "Persepolis" by Marjane Satrapi.

[kikay4ever]

i came from sagrado katoliko family and my hubby is an atheist. wala sakin yun, having doubts with RC din kasi. sa parents ko big deal pero wala ako pakealam. mahal namin isa't-isa! haha

madami sinasabi nanay ko di na lang namin pinapansin! wala na syang magagawa! ahaha

[minnie99]

^Aww, good for you, sis. My dad made a joke about how I should marry a Roman Catholic (he just found out my boyfriend was not), and it hurt me very much that I didn't speak to him for the rest of the day--but my siblings (and I'm guessing even my mother) told him that it was below the belt.

As much as I would like to ignore comments, I keep getting hurt! Hehe. Hopefully, my boyfriend never has to hear what my parents have to say about his religion.

[k_fine]

i had a boyfriend na muslim. at first okay naman pero habang tumatagal, lumalabas talaga ang differences eh. like pinipilit niya ako sa mga paniniwala niya that he ends up arguing with me. he'd give me lectures on the Qur'an and he was trying to change the way i dress myself etc. ayun we broke up.

i have a friend naman who is a muslim and her husband is a born-again christian. they were bf-gf for 6 or 7 years and now they are 2 years married. nobody wanted to convert to the other's religion kaya sa civil sila nagpakasal. wala talaga problem sa kanila na magkaiba sila ng religion. hindi rin nag-aaway ng anything related to religion. they don't have kids pa. ewan ko lang anong religion nung kids pag meron na 

[therottendoll]

Unfortunately, It will not work. Base on personal experience and as I've seen through my friend's relationships hindi din nag work. Lalo na kapag yung isang side gusto niya mag convert yung ka-relationship niya. Although, there's a chance that you will still end up together and have kids pero yung arrangement medyo magulo. Magka-iba kasi ng beliefs. May friend ako na confused sa religion kasi yung parents niya magkaiba. Yung Dad niya muslim tas yung Mom niya Born again. Parehas siyang nagsisimba sa Muslim & Christian Church.

[ghye]

I have an uncle who is Roman Catholic and the wife is INC.  Since hindi sila pwede magpakasal because of difference in religion, my uncle converted to INC.  Then a few months after the wedding tumiwalag sa INC and went back to Roman Catholic.  The children were baptized both in RC and INC but they are more of an INC.  Now their daughter is having the same problem for her fiance has a different religion. 

[rheinfall18]

I have an uncle who is Roman Catholic and the wife is INC.  Since hindi sila pwede magpakasal because of difference in religion, my uncle converted to INC.  Then a few months after the wedding tumiwalag sa INC and went back to Roman Catholic.  The children were baptized both in RC and INC but they are more of an INC.  Now their daughter is having the same problem for her fiance has a different religion. 

hi sis, possible pala yun? to convert first in INC then move out after the wedding? in my case kasi my bf's parents lang ang INC but he's not. i've already thought of that plan before para lang mapagbigyan at magkaron ng blessings from his parents pero paano sa documents? in the marriage certificate i mean.

tia for your advise

[minnie99]

Parang "sayang" or "balewala" naman kung papakasal ka sa isang religion para lang mapagbigyan ang isang party then aalis din naman pala kayo. Hehe. Gustong gawin ng boyfriend ko is sumama sakin sa church at isasama daw niya ako sa church, kaso same schedule kami ng mass. Paano kaya yun? Minsan nasasaktan ako kasi feeling ko ayaw niya talaga sa religion ko, dahil ako, sinasabi ko na willing naman akong magpa-convert if ever okay sa akin, pero yun ay after na namin magpakasal. Pero siya, hindi niya sinasabi na may possibility na gawin niya yun. Hehe.

[Jennyontheblock78]

My husband's a Catholic, I'm Born Again Christian, I can say na mas maganda pa rin kung pareho kayo ng pananampalataya kasi   hindi ko naman siya mapilit magsimba at madalas na hindi ko rin siya mapigilan sa mga barkada niya at sa mga pag-iinom niya kasama ang mga ito. Gustuhin ko mang maging ehemplo siya sa mga anak ko ay wala akong magawa. Naniniwala ako na kung iisa kami ng paniniwala madali sana siyang makikinig sa mga paalala ko lalo pa't taliwas sa itinuturo ng Bibliya ang kanyang mga bisyo. 

[rheinfall18]

^i think yung bisyo sis hindi malaki kinalaman ng religion dun, it's more of sa personal kasi marami din naman na hindi religious pero walang bisyo dahil gusto nila ng healthy living. in my honest opinion lang naman

although i admit may factor ang religion sa pananaw sa buhay ng isang tao, not just the vices etc


^^hi sis minnie99, oo nga naisip ko rin yun ang issue kasi dito ay yung parents nya ayaw kasi nila tanggapin na hindi pa ko ready sa religion nila e saka at this point wala pa ako balak. masaya ako sa religion ko e so why need to transfer di ba. we are still finding ways kung paano ipaintindi sa kanila yun na hindi sila masyado masaktan.

thanks for your honest opinion

[minnie99]

^Sis, parents ko rin ang may issue (ata). Haha! At bf ko... Parang di talaga niya maisip na possible mabuhay mag-asawa na magkaiba religion. Oh well... Sana magawan namin ng paraan, though malayo pa kami dun. Pero paano kami magpapakasal di ba kung di namin magagawan ng paraan?

[chirochan]

hi sis, possible pala yun? to convert first in INC then move out after the wedding? in my case kasi my bf's parents lang ang INC but he's not. i've already thought of that plan before para lang mapagbigyan at magkaron ng blessings from his parents pero paano sa documents? in the marriage certificate i mean.

tia for your advise

Kahit saan naman na religion sis pwede ka magpatiwalag after kung di ka tutuloy, pero sa inc pag nalaman na ang asawa nya ay himdi inc eh matitiwalag din sya,

I don't advice this kasi kung magpapaconvert ka tapos gagawin lang yun para sa kasal baka madaming problema ang dumating sa magasawa,after all we can't hide anything from God =)

[akthung]

meron ba sa mga sisses natin na, one big family pero iba iba sila ng religion? kamusta ang relationships? the family dynamics?

[happie]

Pag ganyan the girl has to be the one to adjust. Issue lang yan if girl is christian in which case guy has to adjust.

[minnie99]

^Why? Just curious kung bakit ganun ang belief mo. Or were you talking about rheinfall18?

[theshopaholicprincess]

meron ba sa mga sisses natin na, one big family pero iba iba sila ng religion? kamusta ang relationships? the family dynamics?

Sa family namin .. sa side ng dad ko halo halo, may Roman Catholic (Catholic kami), may born again christian, Protestant. Ok naman in the family dynamics pero I get to witness how my dad, uncle and my lolos discuss on their faith and beliefs especially yung mga lolo at lola ko na born again christians. My lola sa dad ko (RIP lola), was a devout Catholic pero nung mga later years na sumasama sa mga sisters nya (my other lolas) to attend preaching sa born again and Protestant pero she never converted naman nasama lang for the sake of her sisters. Nung namatay lola ko nagkagulo pa during burol at libing kung pano i-hheld yung mass. My dad and my uncles insist getting a Catholic priest while my lolas wants to bring their pastor... In the end my dad and uncles won, so the Catholic rites were held during burol and libing. We brought our lola sa Catholic church for final blessing. Katwiran kasi ng dad ko, it was their mom and they were brought up by my lola as Catholics and they are the ones paying for all of the expenses . Ayun nagkasamaan pa ng loob during the last day of my lola's wake gawa ng final blessing sa patay, pero wala nagawa yung mga lola ko kasi they have to respect that the immediate family ang dapat masunod.

Tagal din bago nagkibuan dad ko and mga lolas. Ngayon naman ok sila. Kanya kanyang paniniwala. Me and my husband are also into different religion. Though minsan nag uusap kami pano set up sinabi ko sa kanya I am not ready to convert into their religion. I still value the Catholic rites I grew up with my Dad. Saka na talaga kami mag ddecision.

[ghye]

^My husband is a Roman Catholic but he prefers attending born again services, bible studies.  And I'm a Protestant.  No big deal for us regarding our religions.  Most of the time, especially here at Manila we attend Sunday mass at the Roman Catholic Church.  We're just lucky maybe that both our churches respect and accept each other.  I'm an Anglican/Episcopalian by the way.