Relationships with Different Religion

[itsmisszhyrin]

Hi girls.. I have the same problem. I'm solid Catholic.. And he's an INC ang mhirap dun ay against yung parents ko kaya hanggang ngaun di pa rin kame legal.. Pero until now.. im still hoping na magiging maayos. Kasi nga sya na gusto ko makasama.. Bat pa kasi na issue ang religion.. Di ko maigine yung sarili ko na mag papaconvert.. (no offense) sobrang mahal ko yung kinalakihan ko na religion at yung faith ko ay sobrang strong.. Ang hirap din kasi unico hijo si boyfriend.. So super issue yun sa amin.. Pero I'm still hoping na magiging maayos. Everynight yan pinagdadasal ko, at pinag nonovena ko pa..

[itsmisszhyrin]

before catholic ako pero ngayon inc na because my husband is inc.. at first inis na inis ako sa mga pinagsasabi nya bout sa mga aral ng inc,as in napakadami ko tanong,of course diba dahil sa nakasanayan ko sa catholic..

Ewan ko ba sis, sumama ako paminsan-minsan sa samba nila, minsan pa nga pinapa attend ako ng lola nya sa pamamahayag, pero di ko talaga ma feel, sabi nya sa akin, magpakasal daw muna kame sa iglesia tapos after the wedding ako na bahala kung itutuloy ko mag iglesia, pero parang ayoko naman, mas gusto ko pa rin mag walk down sa aisle ng simbahang katoliko..

[Frozen Toes]

^ That's what you think. 

What about you? What do you think?

[akosibulinggay]

Ewan ko ba sis, sumama ako paminsan-minsan sa samba nila, minsan pa nga pinapa attend ako ng lola nya sa pamamahayag, pero di ko talaga ma feel, sabi nya sa akin, magpakasal daw muna kame sa iglesia tapos after the wedding ako na bahala kung itutuloy ko mag iglesia, pero parang ayoko naman, mas gusto ko pa rin mag walk down sa aisle ng simbahang katoliko..

naku sis ganyan din ako before, 5 times ata ako umattend ng pagsamba pero wala talaga akong nafeel na kahit ano na makakapagpa convert sa akin from catholic to inc.. e talagang feel ko na siya na talaga ang gusto kong makasama sa habang buhay e nag try talaga ako na magpadoctrina, at dahil nga dun talagang every time na may schedule ng doctrina naeexcite ako umattend kasi inaabangan ko yung mga next na lesson from bible na ituturo at makakapagpa enlighten sa akin.. dito ko naintindihan kung bakit ayaw ng husband ko tumiwalag sa inc.. at di naman ako nagsisisi sa ginawa ko, super thankful pa.. no offense sa bf mo ha pero medyo di tama yung inadvise niya sayo.. di naman kayo pede magpakasal sa inc kung dika mababautismuhan sa inc, so dadaan ka pa din sa doctrina at pagsamba.. siguro, in my opinion lang ha,  makakatulong din kung walang nagpepressure sayo kung anong dapat mong gawin, kasi may kanya kanya naman tayo ng "calling".. wag natin ipilit ang isang bagay kasi baka ito pa ang makasama. sana maayos tong pinagdaraanan niyo..

[Frozen Toes]

^ But sweetheart, if religion doesn't matter, then why did you need to convert?

[slickchick]

Ewan ko ba sis, sumama ako paminsan-minsan sa samba nila, minsan pa nga pinapa attend ako ng lola nya sa pamamahayag, pero di ko talaga ma feel, sabi nya sa akin, magpakasal daw muna kame sa iglesia tapos after the wedding ako na bahala kung itutuloy ko mag iglesia, pero parang ayoko naman, mas gusto ko pa rin mag walk down sa aisle ng simbahang katoliko..

hi sis! baka naman you should give it time to sink in... or give yourself time to think if you really want to be converted. my ex-bf was also an INC. and i also attended all their indoctrination lectures and even completed the period called "sinusubok" (which was about a couple of months). about 2 weeks before i was scheduled to be "baptized", i suddenly realized, na i was just doing it for my then-bf.. which was not good kasi hindi genuine yun reason ko for conversion.. deep within i was still questioning their doctrines and deep within, i still believe in my Catholic upbringing. siguro din, may effect yung nakita ko nun na attitude and disposition nung bf ko and his family. they were not really good examples of "practicing what you preach". just my two cents worth.. 

[joyceleste]

what matters is that you love each other even though you have different religions. dapat hindi na kasi iyun pinagiisipan. pag may tunay kang nararamdaman para sa isang tao, wag mong ideny.

[Madelskie]

I'm in the same situation but hubby and I managed to work things out between us

He's a Catholic and I am a Born Again Christian. Nung una gusto nya bumalik ako sa pagiging Catholic ( I was baptized as BA when I was in HS). Hindi ako pumayag and then he said it's fine and after 6 years of being bf/gf we decided to get married. Pumasok na naman yung issue ng different religion. I asked my parents about it. I also consulted our Pastor and I'm so blessed how open-minded they were about the situation. We end up having a Catholic Ceremony for our wedding. 3 days before our wedding we had a counseling c/o our Pastor. Our Pastor said, it doesn't matter may it ba a Catholic, BA or Civil wedding ceremony. What matters is we're doing everything legally and we love and understand each other. Yun daw ang mas importante. Right after naman our wedding, my hubby is coming with me sa church namin and masaya naman ako don At least give and take

I'm currently pregnant now and we decided na paglabas ni baby, dedication naman c/o our Pastor. Even sa Birth Certificate, ok lang kay hubby na ideclare is BA ang religion.

What we learned, it's not about the religion. It's all about you and your partner and how you love each other.

[lavinia48]

^

^ But sweetheart, if religion doesn't matter, then why did you need to convert?

It was my choice. hindi naman na ako Catholic before we got married. I don't want to be an atheist/agnostic! LOL

[itsmisszhyrin]

in my opinion lang ha,  makakatulong din kung walang nagpepressure sayo kung anong dapat mong gawin, kasi may kanya kanya naman tayo ng "calling".. wag natin ipilit ang isang bagay kasi baka ito pa ang makasama. sana maayos tong pinagdaraanan niyo..

Exactly sis, yan din sana gusto ko mangyari, di naman kelangan madaliin yun, In the end kasi kame rin magsasama at hindi sila.. Pag tinatanong ako ng lola nya dedma [textspeak!].. Ayoko ipilit nila sa akin, tsk ang dating is parang kaya ko gagawin yun dahil kay bf..

[Mr.Punch]

^
It was my choice. hindi naman na ako Catholic before we got married. I don't want to be an atheist/agnostic! LOL

Then you're in no position to say "religion does not matter" because by your own admission, you had no religion prior to the conversion.

[Mr.Punch]

What about you? What do you think?

I think it will always be an issue.  It might lay latent, or the partners might try their darndest not to make it matter, but eventually it has to surface.

The only way two people of different religions to be at peace in their relationship is to thoroughly ignore religion - don't talk about it, don't go to each other's services, don't give a fcuk about what his/her parents say.  This is an almost impossible task.

Personally, I can do that.  Magaling ako eh.    But I'm not sure the rest of humanity can.

[ayami]

^ *clap clap.*

Ikaw na. Ikaw na talaga.

[itsmisszhyrin]

hi sis! baka naman you should give it time to sink in... or give yourself time to think if you really want to be converted. my ex-bf was also an INC. and i also attended all their indoctrination lectures and even completed the period called "sinusubok" (which was about a couple of months). about 2 weeks before i was scheduled to be "baptized", i suddenly realized, na i was just doing it for my then-bf.. which was not good kasi hindi genuine yun reason ko for conversion.. deep within i was still questioning their doctrines and deep within, i still believe in my Catholic upbringing. siguro din, may effect yung nakita ko nun na attitude and disposition nung bf ko and his family. they were not really good examples of "practicing what you preach". just my two cents worth.. 

Sis, nung na realized mu na di ka talaga ready, [textspeak!] ngyari? Nag break ba kayo kagad?

[CmomS]

kami rin ng hubby ko magkaiba religion. Katoliko ako Adventist naman siya. Nung magbf/gf pa kami inassure nya ako na kahit magkaiba religion namin pwede daw kami makasal sa simbahan. Kasi yun talaga ang pangarap ko bata pa ako, yung maglakad sa isle papasok ng simbahan at gawin ang ritwal ng kasal. Then nagkababy na kami. That time pinagpapakasal na kami. Dun ko lang nalaman na bawal kami ikasal sa simbahan namin (dahil ayaw nyang magpaconvert) at bawal din kami sa kanila (since buntis na ako). Naging malaking issue yun sa family namin kasi nga di nya ako pwedeng pakasalan. Also kung ano ang magiging religion ng anak namin. Mahirap din sa food kasi sample mahilig ako sa seafoods then siya maraming bawal. Kelangan may kaliskis yung fish pag wala di daw pwede. Kaya bawal ang shrimp, crab, pusit, seashells. Eh yun pa naman yung mga like ko. Ngayon nagsasama parin kami and di parin kasal kahit civil. Nabinyagan yung mga anak namin as Katoliko and wala naman sya tutol doon.

[Mr.Punch]

^ So ang lumalabas nagsinungaling siya sa iyo.  This might be late, but for the benefit of other GT-ers, at least make an effort to know the rules of your own religion regarding mixed marriages.  He might have deceived you, but it's also partly your fault that you just took his word for it.

Now, I'd understand why you are not married in any church, but I can't fathom why you haven't at least had a civil wedding.

=====

Bad news: Wala siyang backbone.

Good news:  You're not married.  You're Free! 

[slickchick]

Sis, nung na realized mu na di ka talaga ready, [textspeak!] ngyari? Nag break ba kayo kagad?

hi sis! to answer your question, pinag-isipan ko pa rin naman. and to make things complicated, i found out i was pregnant that time, and i discovered na kaya pala din sya nagmamadali na mapa-bautismuhan ako was because of his fear na matiwalag sya (bawal kasi sa kanila ang magka-gf from the "sanlibutan" or outside their faith, much more to get a girl pregnant na hindi pa nababautismuhan). so in my case, his intentions were very clear for having me converted - not purely because of love, it was more out of fear na matiwalag sya. and having seen those intentions, my decision to break up with him became stronger.   then again, case to case basis yan sis. nagkataon kasi my ex-bf and his family was not really the "pratice what you preach" type, so hindi talaga ako na-convince.

[itsmisszhyrin]

^^


Ngayon sis, nasaan na baby nyo? At buti hindi sya natiwalag?

[slickchick]

^ hi sis! nasa akin yung baby, baptized in Catholic rites. as for my ex-bf, hindi ko na nabalitaan if natiwalag sya or nagawan ng family nya na wag sya matiwalag. though i was really tempted before na ireport sya sa lokal nila, kasi nga may personality problems din sya. pero buti na lang hindi ko na rin sya ini-ulat para tuluyan na nya kaming wag pakialaman ng anak ko. 

[samsung]

^ kalungkot naman yun sis. Kami mga 2+ years na paikot ikot lang ang relasyon. Ayoko pang maging legal dahil nga sa issue ng religion. Pero sinagot ko na sya, at ngayon eto magulo pa din utak ko sa ganitong issue. May mga usap usap na kami ngayon tungkol sa kasal kasal - pero naiisip ko kasi na BAKA imposible na talagang ikasal kami =( ang dami ko pa namang suppliers na na-add sa fb ko. Gowlay, INC pala sya, im BA