Hello girls! I just want to share some of my not-so-good-feelings towards my mom...
I came from a Chinese-Filipino family and ever since I was a kid, my mom's words cut like a knife. I'm loved by my mom very much (I knew that and I can feel it), but her words towards me and my brother is so sharp that most of the time she would hurt me. I'm not quite sure if this is the outcome of my parents' separation (my dad left us with his secretary kabit) or this is the cause that's why they separated.
I always talk to my mom that she can converse with me in a nice way and not to shout and insult her response back. I always talk to my mom in a nice way but would ended up in an heated argument (95% of the time). I'm not a kid nor teenager anymore. By the way, I'm 34 - mother of 3 children. The only firm response I got from her is that this is her style and if I can't bear with her, then I go away!
I still remember vividly from my 1st pregnancy that she argued with my brother, making my SIL mistakenly thought I said something to my mom about my brother that caused their rift. The argument got big because I got into a fight with my SIL and she even told me she can hire someone to kill me! To bring the story short, my mom just did nothing but tell me just to stay away from their house (She lives with my brother and SIL).
You see, my mom treats everybody nice. Even my SIL did something wrong, di nya pinagsasabihan. Di ko talaga maintindihan bakit ganun sya makipag-usap sakin. One time me, my mom and SIL were in dining table having lunch, I discuss with my mom about something which leads to money matters. My SIL then butt in and said, "kinasal kana so labas kana dito sa bahay. wag kana umasa sa mana dapat. Tignan mo mom ko, wala din nakuha sa parents nya. Lahat andun sa brother nya". In which she expects all the inheritance should surely go to my brother, her husband. Sinabi nya ito sa harapan ng mom ko, and my mom di man lang nagreact.
Another thing that is bugging me right now is... in Chinese, when a daughter gets marry, parents would give dowry. The time I got married, my mom told me she would give me X amount of money but never gets it out from her pocket. She would then ask me if I wanted to get the money na ba? She keep asking and asking and asking but never get the money out. So I thought, talaga ba gusto nya ito ibigay or [textspeak!]? After quite sometime, the so called promised X amount of money got smaller. Still, tatanong lang nya sakin, "ano kukunin mo na ba?" ano gusto mo na ba kunin? Si brother mo sinabihan ko din pero di daw nya kukunin share nya". With respect nalang, I declined. Now that I have 3 kids, sinabi nya sakin sabi daw ng uncle ko, no need to give me mana kasi may [textspeak!] and MIL pa naman daw ako na pwedeng sandalan.
Ouch! A big ouch! words cut, indeed. I'm really not running for the inheritance, really. If my mom give me, well a big thank you. If none, it's ok. But kelangan pa ba nya sabihin lahat ng ito vocally? Sakit kaya! I know in Chinese mas matimbang ang lalake. Sana di nalang sya mangako magbibigay, sana di nalang din nya sinabi literally na di nadin ako kelangan bigyan. I know my mom's worth kasi ako financier at home. I took charge in summarizing her investment's amount yearly.
Lastly, for 13 years of my life (college till I get married), I'm the one charging my dad all our household expenses. I summarized all our expenses, sent it to my dad for reimbursement. The process wasn't easy at all because I have dealt with my dad as he would almost always ignores me or pinapahiya nya ako. Yung money ng mom ko, portion of it comes from here.