Joining this conversation. Pero side comment muna. Sana may "like" feature dito sa GT like in other foreign forums para we can "like" a post. Wala lang.
Very passionately opinionated ang thread nato. Want to share my two cents though:
- Divorce should be taken objectively: a legal separation of two previously married couples, for whatever reason the two don't want to be together anymore
- There are cases wherein divorce outcomes are not favorable to either party, some cases are common, and some are anecdotal -- like yung post earlier na yung aunt nya will not benefit from a divorce kasi sya yung mas financially invested than the husband. But that's an anecdote and unique to that person.
- Just because it doesn't work in her favor (the aunt) doesn't mean it won't work for a TON of other people who need divorce as an option. Plus, divorce proceedings are taken case to case with lawyers to represent each party's best interest. When the aunt married the lazy guy -- she agreed to take him for better or for worse, in all his laziness and all that. When they separate sa divorce, she now has to pay the price for taking in this man's "for worse" side. Multi-millionaire pala sya, so she can then use her resources to hire the best lawyers to prove na hindi deserving ang spouse nya sa required half ng law. That "half" share requirement was put in place as a law with the BEST interest of BOTH parties -- there is no surefire and foolproof way to "calculate" emotional investment, support investment, or financial investment two people make in a CONJOINED arrangement. If the wife was a stay at home mom and dad worked all his life. Wife cheated so dad want a divorce -- dad will say sya lang nagwork so dapat sa kanya lahat. Hindi yata tama yun, even if the mom cheated, she still contributed to their union, ang MAHAL ng cost ng stay at home mom. She also gave up her career and income opportunity for the family. My point is, the essence of the law na 50-50 is to ensure all types of investments in a legal relationship are accounted for.
- Divorce is a means to correct a mistake (mistakenly married a person we are not compatible with). And every MISTAKE has a price. In that anecdotal story, the price is high. You made your bed, so lay on it, ika nga.
- That mistake can easily be avoided by having a signed Pre-Nuptial Agreement. Before you ladies take out your pitchforks to condemn this idea, a Pre-Nup works both ways: protects all parties. You don't have to sign Pre-Nup terms YOU don't like. Make sure the terms are suitable to you -- like in the event of a divorce, man has to provide alimony in the amount of X multiplied by 10% increase each year, for each child). May mga ignorant people kasi akala ang pre-nup eh para sa lalaki lang. Eh pano pag yung girl ang mas may pera? Or pano if yung pre-nup is to guarantee the girl will be cared for in the event hindi mag-work ang marriage?
- Let's separate LEGAL and MORAL beliefs here. Religious/faith reasons are PERSONAL and SPIRITUAL way of living. You can get a priest's blessing or God's blessing even without PAPERS. The CIVIL marriage, is a LEGAL recognition of authority you are giving the other person in your life. Example: you are giving birth in the hospital, C-section, naka anaesthesia ka, and complications are forcing the doctor to choose whether to save the mom or the baby. Who will make that decision? THE LEGAL HUSBAND, not YOUR parents unless you signed an affidavit or the parents carry a Special Power of Attorney. Now think of that same arrangement in all other decisive actions in life. So with divorce, this removes the other person the RIGHTS and AUTHORITY to act with or on your behalf.
- Before getting married, the ONUS is on each individual to choose their partner wisely. If you don't want a messy divorce, or heck NO DIVORCE at all, then choose someone you are really compatible with. If you think you chose right, there's no need for pre-nuptial agreements. If you think you both chose right but have a lot of complicated assets (like inheritances, etc) - then do a pre-nup, not about divorce, but about those assets ("property in Alabang will always stay in the female bloodline/lineage for 100years, and can not be sold).
- The laws are there, to be use when needed. That doesn't mean EVERYONE will need them.
I wrote a wall of text again. But this topic hits very close to home -- i'm happily married, but see so many unhappy marriages that are clearly a mismatch or done out of 'convenience, deceit or trickery, or desperation' they need an out. Unhappy people create unhappy homes, create unhappy societies, create unhappy worlds.
