Divorce in the Philippines

[TomHansen]

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/07/29/opinion/will-the-philippines-finally-legalize-divorce.html
"Mr. Lagman, the new divorce bill’s sponsor, cleverly casts the stakes of the law in religious terms. “Most marriages are supposed to be solemnized in heaven,” he has said, but “many marriages plummet into hell — in irremediable breakdown, spousal abuse, marital infidelity and psychological incapacity.” When will the Catholic Church realize that sins greater than the ones it condemns are committed every day because unhappy Filipinos don’t have the right to divorce?"

[kvandenhaak]

^ sorry if na hurt kita. Sorry din kung fail ang marriage mo. Hindi na ako kokontra baka kasi sabihin hindi naman ako ang may kailangan. But what I said is true. Sorry din kasi di pasok sa definition mo ng reasonable at logical ang belief ko at ang pag oppose ng church. Kaya nga kung ayaw nila, wag mo na ipilit. Or gawa ka ng law or sariling religion mo tutal yung understanding mo lang naman ang mahalaga sayo.

We could argue here ng walang katapusan. Kung lahat naniniwala sa gusto mong definition eh di sana matagal ng di problema ito. Pero hanggang ngayon hindi pa rin naipapasa. Hayaan mo konti na lang malapit na. Sawang sawa na rin ako sa mga hypocrites.

Ay nakalimutan ko pala tong sagutin..lol! I am not really arguing with you. I am just pointing out the discprencies in your argument. No, you didn't hurt me so okay lang. No you are not sorry that my marriage failed...lol! I am not shoving what my belief to anyone. All I am saying is that if you, or your church is against divorce in any ground then you should also be against fornication and adultery. That will make your point more credible.

Ang ginagawa ng ibang Christian churches, merong premarital course yan. They will try to 'break you' during the process. If you don't pass the test, they will advice that you delay the marriage or don't get married at all. But they won't tell you to just live together...lol! For those who are already married and are having problems, they are willing to help both parties. And without judgments, so the members of the congregation. And to be clear here, it was the elders of my ex's church that told me to move out. All means have been exhausted and that's the last option.

[TomHansen]

Or pwedeng itanong na lang sa mga anti-divorce: Anong gagawin mo kung alam mo na ang partner mo ay nagccheat? Or ginugulpi ka? Or bigla na lang nawala at di mo alam kailan babalik? Hahayaan mo lang ba na may kayakap siyang iba? Masira mukha mo or mamatay sa gulpi? Hintayin siyang bumalik hanggang sa tumanda ka na? Marriage should have a positive effect in your life not something na pagdudusahan mo even after you realized you married the wrong man/woman.

Tama ang karamihan dito na hindi ka naman magpapakasal dahil gusto mo lang, pinagiisipan yan and unfortunately lahat ng bagay kahit pinagisipan mo na may tendency pa rin na magkamali ka - at walang masama kung nagkamali ka that's part of life. Ang masama is kapag gusto mo nang umalis sa impyerno pero si god pa ang pumipigil sayo.

[dismembered]

Ang ginagawa ng ibang Christian churches, merong premarital course yan. They will try to 'break you' during the process. If you don't pass the test, they will advice that you delay the marriage or don't get married at all. But they won't tell you to just live together...lol! For those who are already married and are having problems, they are willing to help both parties. And without judgments, so the members of the congregation. And to be clear here, it was the elders of my ex's church that told me to move out. All means have been exhausted and that's the last option.

If you followed my posts, una kong sinabi na taasan ang requirement like what you mentioned. Something like a standard or a test to determine yung readiness ng bawat couples. But then, kung ayaw ikasal ng sinong church ang couple dahil di sila pasok sa requirment, do you think may magagawa ang church kung gusto pa din nila magpakasal? Pwede nilang hindi ikasal sa church nila at their own discretion. So ang tendency si couple na hindi ikinasal ng church ay pupunta sa ibang institution na pwedeng magkasal sa kanila. Like what I said, pwedeng hindi pumayag ang church na hindi i-officiate ang kasal nila. Pero pwede silang magpakasal sa iba kasi hindi naman "controlled" ang buhay nila.

I also said na possible naman talaga ang divorce, pero I stand na hindi entitlement yun na you can remarry.

[ataypool]

^paano naging entitlement iyon when you want to get married again? Ano iyon, deprived mo ang kaligayahan ng mga nagmahal uli? Wala na tayo dapat pakialam kung 7 beses ikasal ang isang tao, unless gusto mo lang ng tsismis or pray-over a thousand times. Recent celebrity example si Gab Valenciano and Tricia Centenera; if they want to get married again to someone else, who are we to prevent them?
Ang daming kondisyones ng mga ayaw sa divorce, you might as well 'live in sin'.

[dismembered]

^ I already said my opinion on that matter. Hindi ko na uulitin ang explanation ko. I explain that on the context of the so called "church" kung bakit ayaw nila. But kung gusto nyo i-legalize at gawin lahat ng gusto nyo, pwede naman. Wag na lang siguro "church wedding" kasi ayaw nila at hindi natin sila mapipilit kung ayaw nila.

[cindy_rella]

Yes!For the right reasons.Hindi trip trip lang

[rae]

^^ yeah, that's exactly the problem it's not legal when it should be. kahit gusto ng madami malegalize sya, it's not in our hands. nasa law makers natin.\

church people have all the right in the world NOT to divorce and the church is free to to impose their truth to their followers.

there are people who NEED it (emphasis on NEED). even if divorce is made legal, may sarili pa rin namang proseso ang church on this na entirely independent of the laws state.

[SaffiyahEnglish]

Dapat talaga maging legal ang divorce. Kung wala na talaga edi wala na talaga. Hihintayin mo pa bang mamatay ka sa bugbog or problema. What if yung SO mo ngayon ay yung makakatuluyan mo pala although married ka. I really hate how the church always intervene sa decisions ng gobyerno. Ang simbahan kasi minsan fairytale eh hindi nagiging realistic at praktikal.

[scorpiowolf]

Ive had BOTH a legal/civil annulment and a Cahtolic Church Annulement.

Based on my experience, it took me a much longer time to get my civil annulment. I had to spend a lot for it, and it was a very long process even if I had a good lawyer and some connections.

I never thought I would go for a Catholic Church annulment because I always thought it was way more difficult and costly to do so. But well, I I did try to get my church annulment and I was so surprised at how much cheaper and less of a hassle it was.

The bottom line: our system is so screwed up bec we are the only country in the world with no divorce. But to be honest, almost anyone can annulment--- but it is a very expensive and long process. THerefore only a few can have the time and financial resources to pursue an annulment. Now isn't that so unfair?

[mysterioza_me]

Yes sis its so unfair, ang may money lang ang may 2nd chance 😔

[Girltalker2]

http://news.abs-cbn.com/news/02/21/18/house-panel-approves-divorce-bill

It?s still gonna be a long process.
Baka maging reproductive health bill ulit ito, with a TRO filing by the Catholic church.

Im not very hopeful but i think it?s worth a try.

[HAYLEELOVE]

^Exactly!  Personally, yan din lang yung major reason ko for being pro-divorce.  Kasi sa annulment, lumalabas there was never a marriage so lalabas din parang illigitimate yung mga bata.  Medyo complicated, wala pa diyan yung properties and financial support. 
Let's not be hypocrites, ang dami ng hiwalay dito sa atin and bumubuo na ulit ng 2nd family, so instead of creating more illigitimate children why not just make everything legal and ika nga nasa lugar.  Instead of ignoring the obvious, bakit di na lang natin isatama ang lahat.

Not necessarily na annullment means na the marriage is null and void. Valid pa rin yung marriage and the children won?t be considered illegitimate. Iba po yung grounds ng nullity ng marriage and annullment of marriage.

50/50 din ako sa Divorce.

Dadami ang lahi ng the likes ni Aileen Damiles or Marjorie Barreto. Hahaha. At least kung walang divorce, the legal wife almost have full rights sa properties ni husband. In favor sa legitimate family. Madaming cases na ganyan. Ayaw magannulll dahil prinoprotektahan ng legal family ang conjugal property. Any properties accumulated by the husband even during separation until his death still belongs to the wife or legitimate children if the husband dies first. The illegitimate children will only get 1/4 of half of what is due for the legal children. The kabit is left with nothing.

In favor ako sa divorce for the cases where battered si wife or husband. Or something like nagabroad and then MIA na kung sino man sa kanila afterwards. Kawawa yung mga naiwan nga naman. Nganga sila.

[kvandenhaak]

^But in divorce, the legal wife (and the husband) also has full rights to their properties? The wife is entitled to spousal and child support. Pride na lang yung ayaw mong ma-annul para hindi makinabang ang kabit. I mean, kinaliwa ka na nga eh. Ibigay mo na ng todo todo dun sa kabet. What's the point of holding on?

[HAYLEELOVE]

^Pride for you or for others but you can?t speak for all wives out there. I have an aunt who refused to annull her marriage because in case so yung conjugal property which pinaghirapan niya is mahahati sa kanilang dalawa nung asawa niya na wala namang naicontribute dun. She won?t expect naman for the husband for alimony kasi wala namang trabaho at nalugi ang negosyo dahil sa pambabae. Wala naman na siyang balak magasawa and kebs na siya if carry niya yung apelyido ng uncle ko. The children are all grown up and have their own jobs. No need for child support. Ang kinakatakot lang ng auntie ko is mahati yung property at mabawasan ang para sa mga anak kung nagannull sila. Sa batas kasi hindi mo pwedeng ipamana pa ang isang property ng buo without the consent of both living parents. Ang problema ayaw ishare ng husband yung properties sa mga anak.   So not because she wants to inflate her ego or what. Her case involves a gamut of important reasons and to simplify it to pride is way out of the line. Hello multi-million ang pinaguusapan dito and hindi lang simpleng common property.

Now, opinion ko lang ito. Unless the divorce will have clauses that would definitely give more rights to the agrieved party why not? But the way I see it in the US, more often than not nagagatasan yung kung sino man ang mas mayaman whether he/she is at fault for the failure of the marriage. Now baka sabihin mo US yan chorva chorva, iba sa Pinas, pero in case nga na maapprove yung bill na yan eh I hope maprotektahan yung rights ng kung sino man ang nasa katwiran. Hindi yung gagawing avenue yung Divorce na yan para mangaliwa pa more at makakuha ng kayaman or properties sa spouse. Dun lang ako magiging ok sa divorce. Kaya nga sabi ko 50/50 pa rin ako.

[kvandenhaak]

^Oh my goodness...relax! But she's not gonna die naman siguro kung kalahati ang mapunta dun sa asawa?  She married an lazy man, that's just how it is. The law is a double edge sword. She will have to share it with her husband. But millions of abused women will benefit from the divorce law. But yeah, her millions are pretty important.

[HAYLEELOVE]

Yes it is important for her and for people with cases like her. She worked hard for it. Para din sa mga anak niya ito. For their security and future. Ikaw siguro kaya mong ipamigay pero you are not her. Ipilit mo sa kanya eh ayaw eh. Ako in all honesty din di ko kaya. Hahaha. Lalo kung pinaghirapan ko. Hindi naman ilegal yung ginagawa ng auntie ko. Wala pa namang divorce sa Pinas and she is not violating the law by not filing for an anullment. It is her choice same as yung mga gustong magpaannull. Lol. Like I said several times, i am not closing doors on Divorce and yes I agree that a number of women/men will benefit from it especially yung mga battered wife and the agrieved ones. 50/50 nga ang kulit. Peace.

[Girltalker2]

^ this issue on conjugal properties is not any different sa annulment or divorce. Kaya nga conjugal eh.

Sakin kinausap ko ng maayos. Since magulo sya kausap, I made sure he signs a paper that says I can act to sell on his behalf. Then tapos, ilagay sa pangalan ng nga Bata or kaninuman you trust.

The thing satin kasi, you can get annoyed without settling this disputes and just let it drag. Fine. Eh pano sa case ng aunt mo if na una pumanaw aunt mo? Eh Di sa husband din nya mapunta LAHAT pa kamo! And worst, she suffered all her life trying to stay with a person she doesn?t love na or doesn?t love her!

So ano na achieve nya dyan? Katabi lang nya milyones nya while emotionally not happy. Then if she moves on to her next life, asawa parin nya makinabang. Swerte nya if asawa nya una mamatay. So 50-50 chance.

On divorce naman, they have to pattern it sa UK law whereby women should be entitled to a greater % of the wealth to be able to support the children. Kaso di nga ako hopeful sa bill na iyan kasi aside from palpak sa implementation ang gobyerno natin, naluluto ang mga kaso.

the discussions on 2 things are important -
1) alimony and support for wife and kids
2) custody of the kids

Sa dami nang irresponsible fathers and philandering husbands, feeling ko sa wife (in most cases) mapupunta ang mga Bata. Currently iyan naman nangyayari eh.

For #1, ito yung gusto ko makita. Kasi isipin mo, most guys na nambababae ay May pera mambabae. So if ever they do that, mag isip sila para puede Magfile ng divorce ang Wife and clean his bank account if need be for the sake of the children.
Now I?m hesitant that this law will be like UK?s because male Politicians sa pinas are numero unong padamihan ng babae. They won?t vote into this, Maliban nalang talaga na sila mismo gusto ng divorce. They serve their own purpose lang naman kaya sila interested to take public office and not to serve the country.

[HAYLEELOVE]

^ Kinausap na ayaw yung uncle ko. Gusto hati hati silang apat dapat. So tig 1/4 lang for each of them that includes 2 children. Kaso tigas ulo ng uncle ko. Ayaw na kasing mangyari nung nakaraan na binenta niya yung ibang properties without even telling her. Sinolo lahat ng uncle ko. Anyway, obstinate yung husband niya.  Gusto dalawa lang daw silang maghati.  Pag namatay auntie ko na nauna 1/4 lang yata mapupunta sa uncle ko. Nagconsult na sila ng lawyer. Though di ko alam yung legalities involved but something like that. I forgot the explanation kasi. Hahaha.
Happy naman auntie ko. Like I said she?s not planning to get married anymore. She?s even close sa side nung uncle ko. Lahat naman pinapanigan siya kasi. As for my uncle ayun nakakarma na. Halos wala nang source ng livelihood. Ewan ko pero di naman finoforce si uncle ng auntie ko ng annullment na. Una sa lahat wala naman ng pera para siya magprocess. And the thing is di mo naman pwedeng ipilit kung ayaw sa ayaw. Both of them they have their own reasons. Just like right now my ayaw sa divorce meron may gusto. In her case, parang naging case na siya nina Cojuangcos wherein the legal wives refused to annull the marriage because it involves a lot of impt consequences. Hinayaan na lang nila ang mga asawa nilang kumabit. Again, it?s their choice and I think they are ok about it. Hindi mo naman pwedeng ireason out sa kanila- hala, di ka na magiging happy sa ginagawa mo chorva chorva. Eh paano kung contented sila sa ganung set-up? Would you still judge them equally to the premise that to each according to its own? 
Hindi naman kasingyaman ng auntie ko sila, I mean sobrang layo, hahaha, but for her protecting everything she built is everything for her.

Is divorce will be pass as a law, ask ko lang sa sobrang mahal ng mga requirements maaaford kaya ng masa ito?  Granted, mas magiging mura siguro siya kaysa sa Annullment. But the Lawyer fees and all. Sa bagal ng justice system sa bansa natin I bet it will drag on din. I am not making an argument ha, just an observation lang.

Exactly my thoughts, hesitant ako kasi yung gagawa ng bill eh sila yung numero unong philander. Lol. Like yung gumawa nung bill yung speaker ng congress, kabit pa more ang motto sa buhay niya. Eto pa, bakit kaya yung wife ni speaker Alvarez hindi naginitiate din ng annullment sa case nila? They have the money and influence, konting kembot lang approce na yan. It would be easy for her to file it and I bet the speaker would be too willing to oblige. Lol. 3 reason lang yan - , tamad si wife magfile or nagfile na sila kaso denied (which is so impossible hello influence and all) or ayaw talaga ni legal wife. So alam mo na kung bakit sobrang kinacareer ng speaker ipasa yung batas. Hahaha.

[kvandenhaak]

^Pwedeng DIY ang divorce lalo na yung wala namang paghahatian and/or walang anak. And there's also PAO who can help you with filing.

Anyways, most jurisdiction follows a no fault divorce. With regards to your aunts millions, like I said, unless he signs a document, hati talaga regardless of who is at fault. But for now, whatever she is working hard for, half of it is legally his. Unless there is an existing law that says that whatever each of the couple earned after separation is not conjugal. I am not that familiar with the law in the Philippines.