Author Topic: We've given up having a helper - stories, questions, motivations etc.  (Read 2326 times)

patriciaheart

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This thread is to share your own stories, give motivation, list advantages & disadvantages of hiring help (live-in, stay out etc). :)

Rory_Lorelie_Gilmore

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Re: We've given up having a helper - stories, questions, motivations etc.
« Reply #1 on: April 17, 2018, 05:05:38 pm »
As much as I want to give up hiring a Helper, hinde talaga possible because both of my parents are old and sickly, wala pa naman bed ridden so far, but my Mom is paralyzed sa left body nya and my Dad is very frail so they need assistance. My husband and I are based abroad and I support them financially so I can't go home basta to look after them, kaya youngest brother ko lang nagbabantay sakanila aside sa Helper namin. He gave up working sa corporate world and opted to work from home, since madalas di kami sineswerte sa Helper mahirap yung biglang wala maiwan sa 2 matanda.

At first yes, meron naman maayos magtatagal 3-6 mos, kaya lang ganun na ata talaga ngayon, kapag bata either mabore, or mag bf/gf eventually aalis din, or makahanap ng ibang linya like Cashier or Tindera. Kapag naman may edad, sasabihin uuwe sa anak/pamilya tapos di na babalik, hahanap ibang mapapasukan. No matter how good you treat them at gano kaganda benefits nila nakukuha from you. Saamin ang usual dahilan is nabobore sila, kaya mag make up ng excuses, usually kasi syempre tulog lang naman parents ko, kakain, maliligo manunuod TV and that's it. Gone are the days na nagtatagal talaga mga Helpers na inaabot ng dekada, madami na kasi sila nakikitang other source of income, active na din ang social life, haha. Yung kasama nga namin ngayon, mas madalas pa magpost sa FB kesa sakin. We gave her our wi fi password agad agad para di nga maburyong. Pinapayagan namin mag day off 2-3 x a month ng 2 days overnight. Bongga sa food, at gaan ng trabaho. So medyo tangap ko na ganito na talaga ang trend, swerte na tumagal 6 mos, tapos hanap uli.

simang

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I hired our first ever yaya/helper when my daughter was around 15 months. Siguro idealistic lang ako but ang iniisip ko nun was she'll stay with us until tumanda kami and lumaki na baby ko, haha, kasi di ba parang dati ganun naman? Na kasama na talaga tumatanda ang mga househelp. But sadly, 1 month lang sya nagstay sa amin. I immediately looked for a replacement, then the replacement only stayed for 3 days -_- Namatay daw lola nya kaya gusto umuwi ng province. Nagparamdam after 2 weeks asking kung pwede pa daw sya bumalik, pero this time kasama yung lesbian partner nya, makikitira lang daw sa amin until makahanap ng work. Syempre hindi ako pumayag and sabi ko nakahanap na ko ng kapalit nya kasi di na sya nagparamdam, kahit that time wala pa talaga.

Then I found my current helper, 6 months na sya sa amin, and so far, so good. At first hesitant ako kasi stay out gusto nya, malapit lang kasi area nya sa amin. Mas preferred ko kasi ang stay in. Pero I took the chance and I'm so happy I did. Bukod sa masipag sya and honest, comfortable ang baby ko sa kanya. She's not a yaya per se, kasi i work from home and hands on ako sa baby ko, not all around din naman kasi most times I do the cooking, then sa laundry may AWM naman. So more on house cleaning talaga ang work nya, then bantay kay baby kapag nasa toilet ako, or kapag marami akong deadlines. Ligo, kain, nappy changes, nap times/bed times, ako pa rin lahat. More on assistance lang sya sa akin especially kay baby.

Last February, nagpaalam sya saken kasi pinapastop na daw sya ng baby daddy nya sa work, and lilipat na sya sa place ng partner nya with their daughter. At that point, sabi ko talaga, ayoko na ulit magstart from scratch when it comes sa helper. Ang hirap kasi magtiwala talaga pag total stranger. So sa 3 weeks na wala sya, ako lahat sa bahay. I came to terms na baka di na ko makahanap ng matinong helper like her. Kaya naman talaga kung sa kaya, pagod pagod nga lang. Good thing bumalik sya. When she asked if pwede pa sya ulit pumasok sa akin, seryoso naiyak ako, haha!

For me very important yung convenience na may maayos at mapagkakatiwalaang kasama sa bahay. hindi kasi sustainble for me yung araw araw akong exhausted. It will take a toll on my mood and eventually on the entire home's mood. Gusto ko pag dumating from work ang asawa ko, he'll come home to a happy, well rested wife and baby -- a good food, too. Sa lahat ng house chores cooking ang favorite ko, so I focus on that, while the rest, I delegate to my helper.

Sobrang haba na pala, haha got carried away. Agree with sis rorie, yung motivation ng mga kasamabahay ngayon hindi lang pera, hindi lang maayos and long term na kabuhayan. Gusto nila may wifi, may sariling room with aircon, haha! Thankful lang talaga ako na maayos ang helper ko, and whenever I give her something to show my appreciation, super thankful rin sya sa akin. Very positive ako sa relationship namin, and I'm really hoping na makasama namin sya for a loooong time.
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super bratinella

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Re: We've given up having a helper - stories, questions, motivations etc.
« Reply #3 on: April 22, 2018, 04:40:39 am »
I have been praying and kneeling everytime I hire house angel, first yaya namin tumagal ng 1year then sumunod lasted for 3years then ang sumunod is 1year again my recent yaya is for 5years, so gamay nya na talaga ako but sadly papasok daw siya bilang taga linis ng office aka utility sa makati so hindi ko naman siya mapigilan kasi baka ayaw na niya maging yaya, next week na ang alis niya and kahit wala pa man akong new yaya since I am praying for it I am excited sa susunod na yaya namin, for the meantime since it's summer so I am looking at this as an opportunity na matuto kids ko sa gawaing bahay, need to trust them and give them tasks although I need to recheck so meaning doble trabaho but it's ok sa simula lang naman.

Dati stress ako then my husband reminds me na we are all in this together kahit si hubby daw maglaba every weekend (naku ang kalat nun.haha) so I am still praying for God's heaven sent yaya for my family.

Sabi naman ng kumare ko mag antay lang daw ako ng ilang months pag na realize ni yaya ko now na mas maraming naiipon at libreng gala sa amin babalik din un compared maging emplayado sagot nya ang pamasahe at pagkain wala pang gala at super traffic for sure matext ulit yaya ko para bumalik..haha
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amethyst028

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Re: We've given up having a helper - stories, questions, motivations etc.
« Reply #4 on: April 22, 2018, 02:33:28 pm »
I am a single mom, since my son was born never ako kumuha ng yaya. I tried pagsabayin ang pag business ko and taking care of a child. That time we still lived with my parents so yung sister ko or yung isang maid namin nakakapag bantay pero pag may importante lang talaga ako gagawin like go to the bathroom kasi ang arte rin ng maid namin ayaw daw niya mag alaga ng bata. We have 2 maids sa house ng parents ko but non of them wants to take care of the child.

Fast forward 8years later bought our own house and i still have no intentions of getting a maid. Lagi kasi ako wala and yung bata naman nasa school maghapon pag uwian niya sabay na kame umuuwi ng bahay. He is 13yrs. Old now he goes home by himself and may key na siya sa bahay minsan pag uwi niya wala ako. I just make sure may food sa bahay para pag uwi niya may merienda siya. When i get home i prepare dinner then do a little cleaning sa bahay. Pag weekends na walang lakad nag general cleaning ako. I train my son rin with some house chores like washing the dishes or sweep the  floor. Tsaka kung saan niya kinuha matuto siya magbalik dun.

Nakakaraos naman kasi bakit sa ibang country wala naman helper or yaya and they can survive. Tayo lang dito nasanay na kasi dahil karamihan sa atin since bata may helper na sa bahay. And pansin ko din mas mahirap na kumuha ng yaya ngayon, pag naka kuha ka hindi rin tumatagal. Iba na rin kasi mindset nila mas gusto nila mag sales lady or maging helper basta wag lang yaya.

kimmygorg

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Re: We've given up having a helper - stories, questions, motivations etc.
« Reply #5 on: April 23, 2018, 05:00:56 pm »
Buti pa kayo mga sissies ang gaganda ng nakukuha nyong kasambahay, samin kasi nahuli ko na kinuha nya yung gadget(samsung tablet) ko, tapos when i asked her kung nasaan sinabi nya pa na hahanapin nya. pero ang totoo nasa akin na haha kinuha ko na sa bag nya. sa ngayon wala na sya samin at may new kaming kasambahay yun nga lang gay sya at minor pa lang :(

simang

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Re: We've given up having a helper - stories, questions, motivations etc.
« Reply #6 on: April 24, 2018, 12:15:36 pm »
Quote
Nakakaraos naman kasi bakit sa ibang country wala naman helper or yaya and they can survive. Tayo lang dito nasanay na kasi dahil karamihan sa atin since bata may helper na sa bahay.

Sa ibang bansa kasi mostly automatic na lahat, washing machine, dishwasher, even vacuum cleaner, robot na. And if may infant/toddler ka naman, they have daycare, which IMO is just the same as having a babysitter at home. Also, pag abroad, pwedeng once a week ka lang maglinis ng bahay. I don't think uubra yun pag dito ka sa Pinas, especially sa Manila. And we don't have many accessible day care centers here. also, if full time na working ang both parents, walang ibang choice but to really leave the baby sa helper or sa kamag anak -- which is just the same, baby sitter pa rin yun. Technically hindi yaya, but still does the baby sitting for you.

Kaya I think if you have a small kid very convenient pa rin if meron kang maaasahang helper, whether yaya or househelp.

Buti pa kayo mga sissies ang gaganda ng nakukuha nyong kasambahay, samin kasi nahuli ko na kinuha nya yung gadget(samsung tablet) ko, tapos when i asked her kung nasaan sinabi nya pa na hahanapin nya. pero ang totoo nasa akin na haha kinuha ko na sa bag nya. sa ngayon wala na sya samin at may new kaming kasambahay yun nga lang gay sya at minor pa lang :(

Dealbreaker sa akin yang pagsisinungaling at pagnanakaw. How did you confront her about it? And pinaalis mo ba sya or nagkusa sya umalis?

When I was looking for a helper, gusto ko sana minor... Kasi in my head inisip ko nga na kasama namin sya ng mahabang panahon, and magiging ate or kuya sya ng baby ko. But then i realized ibang iba na pala talaga ang teenage generation ngayon, haha! Di na ko makarelate sa kanila, tapos karamihan hindi seryoso sa trabaho, puro jowa goals ang hanap.
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amethyst028

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Re: We've given up having a helper - stories, questions, motivations etc.
« Reply #7 on: April 24, 2018, 12:56:14 pm »
^i have a friend both husband and wife are working and they have a 6yr. Old kid. May yaya sila na senior citizen na. Since their baby was born yun na yaya nila but she died. Na stroke one day and since then hindi na sila kumuha ng yaya kasi nahirapan din sila maghanap. Most hindi tumatagal.
It's been 3yrears and kaya naman nila.

Pang gabi husband niya so sa morning yung husband ang nag prepare sa bata to go to school and luto ng food. Sa hapon pag uwi ng friend ko siya ang kasama ng bata at the same time linis ng bahay.

I can say na kaya naman kung kakayanin. Ako instead of watch tv or humilata pag uwi nag luluto ako ng dinner then mag lilinis ng bahay. Everyday yun. 2x a week ako naglalaba by hand not by washing machine. Pag weekends general cleaning. I grew up na may maid so lifestyle change talaga yung wala pero pinilit ko kayanin kasi ayoko rin yung feeling na nasanay na meron tapos mawawala. That is me hindi ko naman sinasabi na gayahin ako. What works for me may not work for others.

kimmygorg

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Re: We've given up having a helper - stories, questions, motivations etc.
« Reply #8 on: April 25, 2018, 08:07:21 am »
^i have a friend both husband and wife are working and they have a 6yr. Old kid. May yaya sila na senior citizen na. Since their baby was born yun na yaya nila but she died. Na stroke one day and since then hindi na sila kumuha ng yaya kasi nahirapan din sila maghanap. Most hindi tumatagal.
It's been 3yrears and kaya naman nila.

Pang gabi husband niya so sa morning yung husband ang nag prepare sa bata to go to school and luto ng food. Sa hapon pag uwi ng friend ko siya ang kasama ng bata at the same time linis ng bahay.

I can say na kaya naman kung kakayanin. Ako instead of watch tv or humilata pag uwi nag luluto ako ng dinner then mag lilinis ng bahay. Everyday yun. 2x a week ako naglalaba by hand not by washing machine. Pag weekends general cleaning. I grew up na may maid so lifestyle change talaga yung wala pero pinilit ko kayanin kasi ayoko rin yung feeling na nasanay na meron tapos mawawala. That is me hindi ko naman sinasabi na gayahin ako. What works for me may not work for others.

wow buti ka pa sis ang galing nyo mag manage sana kami din ganyan soon pag lumabas na si baby  :)

kimmygorg

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Re: We've given up having a helper - stories, questions, motivations etc.
« Reply #9 on: April 25, 2018, 08:09:34 am »
Sa ibang bansa kasi mostly automatic na lahat, washing machine, dishwasher, even vacuum cleaner, robot na. And if may infant/toddler ka naman, they have daycare, which IMO is just the same as having a babysitter at home. Also, pag abroad, pwedeng once a week ka lang maglinis ng bahay. I don't think uubra yun pag dito ka sa Pinas, especially sa Manila. And we don't have many accessible day care centers here. also, if full time na working ang both parents, walang ibang choice but to really leave the baby sa helper or sa kamag anak -- which is just the same, baby sitter pa rin yun. Technically hindi yaya, but still does the baby sitting for you.

Kaya I think if you have a small kid very convenient pa rin if meron kang maaasahang helper, whether yaya or househelp.

Dealbreaker sa akin yang pagsisinungaling at pagnanakaw. How did you confront her about it? And pinaalis mo ba sya or nagkusa sya umalis?

When I was looking for a helper, gusto ko sana minor... Kasi in my head inisip ko nga na kasama namin sya ng mahabang panahon, and magiging ate or kuya sya ng baby ko. But then i realized ibang iba na pala talaga ang teenage generation ngayon, haha! Di na ko makarelate sa kanila, tapos karamihan hindi seryoso sa trabaho, puro jowa goals ang hanap.


Nag timing lang sis na paalis na sya ng time na yun, ewan ko ba kung kelan paalis sya tska sya gumawa ng ganun. nako oo mahirap din pag minor pa eh yung iba kasi di pa ganun ka mature swertihan lang talaga  :) :) :)

super bratinella

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I am looking at having no yaya at home as an opportunity to make household chores as bonding for my kids at the same teach them on how to do the chores properly, I have 18 yrs, 11 and 5. good thing August pa start the eldest ko sa class nya so we still have time to look or adjust until we hire our heaven sent angel.
I am nobody.

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Therefore, I am PERFECT!.

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Shadow Angel

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@simang sis pareho tayo gusto ko pag uwi ni Hubby ok ako at hindi exhausted.

Nasa ibang bansa kami tama kayo automatic lahat ang cleaning pede once or twicce a week kasi di naman talaga maalikabok dito pero kahit ganyan pagod pa rin ako kahit pa may help ni hubby kaso minsan di ko na sya pinapagawa kasi nakikita ko sobrang pagod sya sa work kaya si LO na lang inaasikaso nya pag may time pa sya. Nun bago ako dito talaga nahirapan ako mag adjust sa gawain bahay kasi di naman ako sanay alam ni hubby un. About day care totoo rin madami day care pero ako choice ko na ako mag alaga kay LO minsan nag papart time job ako para lang maiba ang ginagawa ko everyday.

Kaya ba ng walang helper? Oo kaya naman pero di rin madali. Lalo na first few months after ko manganak nagka post partum pa ako. Kapag pagod ako affected ang moods ko talaga.

Sa pinas naman for now wala kasambahay ang parents ko kasi nga papalit palit nag sawa na mother ko for now ok naman. Mahirap talaga kumuha ng kasambahay un maayos nga na taga laba ang hirap kumuha ano pa kaya ang yaya or all around. Kapag bata nakukuha namin tv, cp or bf ang alam sa buhay sakit sa ulo pag matanda naman marunong pa sayo.

super bratinella

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Re: We've given up having a helper - stories, questions, motivations etc.
« Reply #12 on: July 04, 2018, 05:35:30 pm »
2months with no yaya, akala ko mahirap ang dami pa lang advantages (for me kasi malalaki na ang mga anak ko),

1. Hands on sa mga anak at pag prepare ng food nila according to my taste ang mga baon nila at everyday food menu since ako nagluluto

2. Lahat ng bagay sa house alam ko kung saan nakalagay dati kasi asa sa house angel namin since siya tigligpit, nag general cleaning kami as in lahat ng bagay sa house hindi ginagamit donate namin or binenta namin sa junk, tapos nag assign ako ng committee my eldest daughter sya sa cabinets, si hubby sa gadgets and mga wiring, my 2nd daughter sa school supplies ako ang bunso ko sa toys. ako sa kitchen and overall committee haha

3. natuto mga anak ko maging responsable sa gawain bahay with no complains they do all the household chores before playing or doing social media

4. I do not have to pay extra fee to for a headache, minsan kasi mas marami pa akong nagagawa kaysa sa house angel kasi may pagka OC ako.

But I still need yaya para mag hatid sundo ng anak ko sa school since papasok na sa college ang eldest ko this august, still praying for heaven sent house angel.
I am nobody.

Nobody is PERFECT.

Therefore, I am PERFECT!.

http://superbratinella.blogspot.com/

cupcakejane

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There are still good ones out there, and just constantly talk to them so you can work harmoniously and be friends.  Most helpers see employers as kaaway, and it doesn't have to be that way.  Again, there has to be a distance naman to the friendship and level of communication but if you talk to them, and make them understand how lucky they are to have you (and make sure na swerte nga sila kasi mabait ka and hindi mo sila ginugutom), they might reciprocate. 

They might, kasi hindi mo naman talaga control how they think and what they value.  If there are better offers, you can't blame them for wanting a better life.

simang

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Nakakatuwa naman, I posted here 6 months pa lang sa amin yung househelp ko. She's still with us, going 2 years na. Yey! I'm super thankful na she's mabait and masipag, very trustworthy and loyal. Sa status namin ngayon ang dami kong plans for her and her daughter. Kami na magpapaaral sa daughter nya, tapos pag malaki laki na yung business ko I'll also make her a part of it. ❤️
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tsenes05

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^^ good to hear that sis. where did you find your precious gem? :D

Rory_Lorelie_Gilmore

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Nakaswerte din kami sa wakas, nagstart last February 2019, galing Samar, pinadalhan  namin pamasahe (sakto when my Dad was hospitalized until he passed away wala kami stress sa Helper). Siya pa mismo super thankful lagi sa mga binibigay namin, sa treatment namin and sa gaan ng work load (di namin sya pinaglalaba and pinagluluto), we gave her a Smart phone, unli access sa wi fi, clothes, shoes, extra allowance here and there pangload or pambili ng kailangan nya. In return she is very kind, trustworthy and may kusa, kung ganito lang sana lahat ng Helper. Pare pareho naman treatment namin and perks, pero pag taga Manila wala tumatagal hays.

Nagpaalam na din sya uuwe daw sa December since maliliit pa mga anak. Sister sya ng Helper namin na nagtagal din ng halos 1 year noon, ok talaga din pag galing probinsya at maayos naman. Mahirap lang makahanap ng mag vouch for them na personal na kakilala enough for you to send pamasahe.

Di lang talaga namin mapigilan umalis dahil wala naman kami karapatan hehe, and at least umabot halos 1 year. Praying vehemently na makahanap uli by December since PWD (stroke and paralyzed) Mama ko and tho di sya bed ridden, kailangan talaga ng assistance and kausap na din since my Dad just passed away.

iceheaven31

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ofw family (me, hubby, and 1yo daughter) in kuala lumpur. our baby is in a daycare centre, while me and hubby are both doing fulltime IT jobs.

we were always asked bakit hindi namin naconsider kumuha ng helper.

1.) mahal. by law, monthly sahod is minimum RM1.8k. plus hindi pwede directly hired, so need dumaan sa agency. magkano ang agency fees, mahigit RM10k na yata, we're not sure. we cannot shell out that much kasi hindi naman kami super bongga sumweldo dito, plus may iba kaming pinag-iipunan nang mas malaki. sahod and agency fees pa lang yan. excluded pa yung ipoprovide mong food and toiletries sa kanya.
2.) sino. hindi namin alam sino pwede naming kunin. sa pinas nga na senior citizens ang parents ko, walang kasambahay kasi mahirap na kumuha, papunta pa kaya dito. or kahit yung mga andito na, hindi naman namin sila kilala.
3.) kunsomisyon. need i say more? :P

from pregnancy, delivery, postpartum, til now. wala kaming help, maliban sa few months na andito inlaws ko. kaya naman namin, minsan lang e compromised ang linis ng bahay kasi paguran lang talaga. as much as ayaw namin mapagod nang bongga, ok na to, ok naman kami. sabi nga ng lola ko, mabuti nang mapagod ang katawan kesa sumakit ang kalooban (dahil sa kunsomisyon). :D

imeego

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kami wala pa ding swerte..kala namin ok na, sa simula lang pala parang pakitang gilas lang..nung tumagal yung helper namin, nagiging tamad na, lagi na nakahiga from 10 am to 4 pm yan ha nagyu-youtube..mas pagod pa ako na amo kesa sa mga kasambahay..habang bakasyon sa school ang mga anak ko, sila  din feeling bakasyunista lagina lang pahinga..nung pinaalis namin  saka ko lang nalaman andami pa palang reklamo sa buhay, walang utang na loob maski andami naming naibigay na mga gamit sa kanya at sa mga anak nya. sinumbong pa nung isang helper ko na umaalis din pala pag wala kami, tumatakas ng walang paalam kasi nga may additional pay akong binibigay pag di sila nag-day off, so patakas sya para makuha nya pa din yung additional na yun..napakasinungaling at gusto nya pati yung kasama nya magsinungaling din para pagtakpan sya, kasi dapat daw magkakampi sila..eh ano kaya tingin nya sa amin, kaaway?  sobrang  abusado, nung una di namin kinakaltasan sahod pag umuuwi sa probinsya kaso naman ginawang madalas ang uwi to
the point na kami na lang lagi nag-aadjust sa kanya, so nagsimula na akong magkaltas..ang ending masama loob nya..lahat sa kanila libre, kaso ginugulangan ako na maski may supply pa sila eh nagpapabili na naman since twice a month ang grocery shopping..ayun naman pala eh inuuwi sa kanila ang supply na naiipon..ayun, sa pagkaabusado umabot sa point na nakipagsagutan sa asawa ko, sya pa mas mataas ang boses ha dahil lang di napagbigyan yung isang request nya..kaya ngayon, pinatalsik na 😬  ewan ko lang kung makahanap pa sya ng amo na tatagal sa ugali nya
« Last Edit: May 29, 2019, 03:03:29 pm by imeego »

cupcakejane

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There was a time na wala talaga makuha.  I've had my share of helpers/ yayas who don't stay long.  I even had one who stole my old iPhone, makeup, the list goes on.

But there are some who stays talaga.  Just be straight forward with what you can offer.  At the end of the day, just like you and me, if para sayo, para sayo.  I have one na 4 years na sakin, that's like a lifetime these days diba?  The key is communication, and being open to helping them if kailangan nila ng help without being abusive.  That's it.  I give what I can, and they help me with the kids and my home.  Win-win.

 


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