Online Dating (Thread 2)

[angeljolie]

^Consistent is good. Good luck! Kelan kayo huli nagkita? May nerd glasses din si papa P hehe. Baka it adds up to the appeal talaga. Hmm interesting.

[angeljolie]

^Lol stress belle ka nya! 😂 Ang tagal nyo na di nagkikita. Pero minsan okay din kasi you miss each other. At saka malapit naman na matapos ang rampa nya so siguro naman mas dadalas na ang pagkikita nyo. Samantalang kami, nganga. Di alam kung kelan ulit. Do you ask when kayo magkikita?

[angeljolie]

^Hay relationships are so hard. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pinapasok ko pa eh. Lol! Pero medyo okay na ako ngayon. I think nga we need to slow down and chill a little bit. Para makapag isip isip. Kung wala eh di wala. Kung meron eh di good.

Buti okay na din kayo. Ano kaya ang success rate ng online daters ng GT? Lol!

[Apple1230]

@angeljolie i'm in my late 30's but they all say i look like i'm 25-28. i am not physically attracted to him but i guess in time pwede ma develop kasi ang importante naman sa akin mabait at maganda ang intentions.

@kvandenhaak eto na nga nag message sa akin na cold daw ako. he wanted to kiss me since day 1 but i always turn the other way everytime he hugs me during our goodbyes. he wanted to hold my hand kaso baka daw magalit ako. sagot ko naman i only do those things pag bf ko yung guy. pero ang totoo kasi hindi ko feel.

i enjoy his company kasi para kameng barkada. he keeps saying we are friends and he would not do anything to ruin that so i thought that's what he wants yung friends first and see where it leads. kasi yung ang sinabi niya nung mga 3rd time namin lumabas. 

tapos pag magkasama raw kame gusto ko parati invite friends ko. nyek. e hindi  ko naman alam na ayaw niya coz he always asks about them and siya rin nagsasama ng friends niya. ang labo.

ayaw niya daw ng part time girl friend that he only sees during weekends. i have a very hectic work schedule as a sales director sometimes i have to work kahit nasa house na ako. siya kasi as coach 2 hours a day lang work niya. he only works 41 days in 1year so ang dami niyang time. sabi ko hanap na lang siya ng girl who can give him what he wants. nakakaloka siya.

[angese10]

im just curious, anong dating sites sinasalihan niyo?

[kvandenhaak]

Skout (though this is more of a chat site)
Tinder
Plenty of Fish
Badoo

[Apple1230]

@Apple1230: Kung di mo talaga type, then just tell him exactly what the situation is. Pwede pa rin naman kayong lumabas as friends but don't expect too much.

Hi sis. We went out last weekend he asked if he can hold my hand sabi ko ?no?. A few days ago nag message siya saying alam daw niya na i am not attracted to him. He likes me very much but i don?t feel the same daw. We can be friends daw but he really wants to be with someone coz he is very lonely here so he is going back sa online dating.

I wanted to be fair to him kasi kung hindi ko naman talaga kaya ibigay yung gusto niya why go on, so i just wished him all the best. Sana mahanap niya yung girl na sakto sa kanya. Sabi ko we should not talk anymore para maka focus siya sa pag hanap.

He doesn?t want me, ang gusto niya yung may makasama talaga. Gusto niya yung matutulog sa condo niya, PDA, shower together, intimacy etc na alam kong hindi ko mabibigay. And siguro he can sense na halos naka 10 dates na kame pero wala pa rin progress.

[helloanneb]

Hey guys, can anyone recommend me dating sites with good, quality guys? Just recently broke up with my bf of two years. How recent? Just 2 days ago Siya yung nagbreak. I am so inlove with this guy. Right now I feel like a walking zombie.

Any advice for me and recommendations?

[Girltalker2]

@Angeljolie - minsan kasi in a relationship give and take iyan eh. You don?t need naman to invest agad agad in the relationship. Puede naman friends muna and just let the feelings develop. You don?t need to invest so much and Kung hindi sya behaving as you want, maintain lang the friendship while you shop around.
You will definitely end up frustrated if sa kanya mo Lang inubos oras mo then only to find out di mo gusto ugali  nya.

On your France trip, I kinda can relate. But for me it?s the other way around. When I visit Manila, alam ng better half ko that I will be busy with my family. To think madalas ako umuwi ah, but he understands and he knows and doesn?t impose na kelangan asikasuhin ko sya. But ako mismo minsan nag offer to come with me coz we plan to go to Palawan (so Manila stopover), sya pa mismo nagtatanong if I?m meeting my siblings or not.
In your case, sana you can be understanding enough kasi how often ba sya nauwi? Is this once a year or first time in a Long time? Then kasama ka agad. So you really cannot expect first class treatment. Furthermore, depends din sa communication ninyong dalawa, Kung baga setting expectatiaons. If he didn?t tell you the agenda at baka sya pa nagsabi na itour ka nya saan saan then Di nangyari then yun nakakainis nga.

@Apple - ok lang naman to date. But it?s good for u to know what u want. Kaso if you?re not sure, dating around can be a good idea. With your 50+yo guy, alam mo ayaw mo na ganyan katanda. So put it in your non nego list to filter men you potentially want to date. Age range feeling ko Isa sa mga madali Ma determine.

[Apple1230]

^ok lang sis yung age pero physically kasi parang ang bulky niya 6 feet 2 siya then parang wrestler yung katawan. Mabait naman siya sobra yun lang talaga i can?t get past the physical. The lawyer i met online we are talking again nagpa consult kasi ako sa kanya and he asked me out. I guess i will give him another chance.

Tried going back online dating again but no expectations. Park ko lang profile ko. I?m in my late 30?s siguro dapat mag focus rin ako sa lovelife puro kasi ako work and saving money for my future. Ngayon lang ata nag si-sink in na i am not getting any younger.

[sk8rboyswife]

Hey guys, can anyone recommend me dating sites with good, quality guys? Just recently broke up with my bf of two years. How recent? Just 2 days ago Siya yung nagbreak. I am so inlove with this guy. Right now I feel like a walking zombie.

Any advice for me and recommendations?

Sorry to hear about this is, I am also on the same boat  so in love but. Me, I felt so hopeless.

[angeljolie]

Girltalker2, thanks for your input. Every year ang uwi nya sa France. Actually minsan naiisip ko if I had been unreasonable. At feeling ko oo medyo naging unreasonable ako. Feeling ko baby ako. Pero ang point ko kasi, sana man lang kausapin nila ako diba. Ok lang sana kung apat kami, he and his sis could talk, tapos I could talk with the other person. Kaso tatlo lang kami. And all the while sila lang magkausap, in French pa. Buti sana kung English. Pero yun nga, it was just the last 2 days. Dapat pinalampas ko na. In my defense, yung buong trip hinayaan ko sila ng family nya na mag bond. Yung last 2 days lang talaga yung di ko kinaya. It was in Paris at feeling ko it was our time together naman na sana. Plus I was PMS-ing.

The last 3 weeks had been trying for me (with backlog from work and school, plus his attitude towards me). The first 2 weeks post-trip, talagang inavoid nya ako kausapin. He made sure he was constantly present, pero puro templates ang text messages (no calls). Good morning (kiss), Driving to work (kiss), At work (kiss). Puro ganun. Nung una inaamo ko kasi feeling ko nga I was at fault. Pero yung thought na 3 weeks na hindi nya pa ako napapatawad, medyo nakakapagod din on my part.

The other day, nag good morning ako, he read my message an hour later. Tapos hindi nagrespond, hanggang matulog na sya at hanggang magising sya kinabukasan. So ako, hinayaan ko na lang. Baka hindi nya talaga ako kayang patawarin haha! At yun nga, pagod na din ako kaka-amo. Sabi nung isa kong guy friend, wag na wag ko itext kahit na gigil na gigil ako magtext. I wanted to ask him what's really wrong. I wanted to tell him to be man enough to tell it to my face. But I didn't. Inarchive ko din messages namin at natulog ako ng maaga. Ang sarap ng feeling!  hehe. Pero  an hour before ako magising nagtext sya. Hindi daw nya nakita na nagtext ako the other day, kala daw nya I was having network issues. Sabi ko may blue checks naman yung message ko which meant he read it. Sabi nya if he did, he wasn't paying attention daw. Nagsorry naman. My friends won't accept it haha pero ako okay na saken. At least alam kong hindi ko sya pinilit to talk.

Just this morning I realized (again! this time I shouldn't forget!) I could lose him so easily. So dapat chill na lang talaga ako. At dapat naman chill na lang kami with each other kasi mag 1 year na kaming magkakilala. As of now, walang plans kung kelan kami magkikita ulit. There's this chance na baka hindi na din diba. So ieenjoy ko na lang every moment. Ayoko na magpaka depress hehe.

Story of my life. Sorry ang haba. 

[angeljolie]

@angeljolie: Relationships are not easy to begin with. It takes effort to make it work. Ang may kasalanan kasi nyan is the guy, kung bakit mo pinasok. You made it clear to him that you want to get married and you have kids. He was fine with it, tapos biglang uurong. Eh may emotional investment na, di naman pwedeng ganon na lang yun. Mga lalake minsan ganyan eh, hindi nag-iisip sa mga consequences ng ginagawa nila.  Same with my athlete. I said, "If you are already busy as it is, I don't think it's wise to add a girl in the equation." Eh kesyo, he can manage fine daw. So pag minsan he tells me he is busy, naiinis ako.

True.  Many of them walang pakialam sa consequences ng gagawin nila. They mostly think with their balls. Sorry kung s*exist ang comment hehe.

[helloanneb]

Sorry to hear about this is, I am also on the same boat  so in love but. Me, I felt so hopeless.

I agree. I can't sleep and eat properly because he just broke up with me out of nowhere

[Girltalker2]

Sabi nung isa kong guy friend, wag na wag ko itext kahit na gigil na gigil ako magtext. I wanted to ask him what's really wrong. I wanted to tell him to be man enough to tell it to my face. But I didn't.

I totally agree with your friend.

But sis, 1 year na kayo magkakilala. You?ve been together in France, ano tawag sa inyo - friends lang?
MU?

I don?t seem to get it what you have with him now.

Just this morning I realized (again! this time I shouldn't forget!) I could lose him so easily. So dapat chill na lang talaga ako.

Kahit online or actual dating, talagang puede mawala anytime. Kaya when I was dating, I really worked hard NOT to fall with anyone. Basta I always check if I like him more na than he likes me, then if that?s the case, aatras ako konti (hanap iba date or crush), spend more time improving on myself.
Feeling ko men should chase. Hayaan mo sila mag initiate. Chill lang. make sure they like you more than you like them. Hanggang sa mag profess sila na fully committed sila sayo. Na ikaw ang one and only GF. That?s the time I allowed my feelings to develop more. Then everything follows.

[angeljolie]

^Sis we are officially bf-gf. We have been for the longest time hehe. No official date kung kailan talaga but a month after we started talking, he asked if we could be exclusive. I said yes and we have been ever since. He even told me while we were in France (nung nagaargue kami about him ignoring me)  ?see you are now part of my family.?

Ganyan din ako sis. I kinda have a fear of losing myself in  relationships. I always watch how I feel. Pag feeling ko mas ako na yung into him, medyo atras din ako. I think he feels the same though. Nakikita ko yung sarili ko sa kanya in that aspect. The exact reason why hindi din ako nagtanong when he did not reply to my good morning message. But you know what, I think it is another manifestation of overthinking. At yun yung gusto ko iwasan.

[kvandenhaak]

Parang ang hirap din hindi ma-attach if you're officially together and exclusive. It's a relationship so of course, it's natural that you act like you are in a relationship.

[angeljolie]

Hey guys, can anyone recommend me dating sites with good, quality guys? Just recently broke up with my bf of two years. How recent? Just 2 days ago Siya yung nagbreak. I am so inlove with this guy. Right now I feel like a walking zombie.

Any advice for me and recommendations?

Try OK Cupid. Tip though: you might need to meet a few (or several) frogs before meeting the prince hehe. It could be the case anywhere.

When this guy broke up with me a few months ago, I started writing on my phone?s Notes app. I put the title ?Moving on for the Dummies? lol! Eto ang excerpt if you are curious:

...Eventually I realized I should stop blaming myself or the guy, and just accept that some things don't work the way we want them to. So I should just start focusing on damage control.

Let's face it, breakups can be really nasty and damaging if you allow it to damage you. But the good news is, there are many ways of coping and you can choose which way to go. I always choose to be happy again. The sooner the better.

So how do I avoid a breakup from damaging me?

These worked for me:

Cry.

Seriously. You need to unburden your chest. Crying is part of the healing. With my last breakup (which was 6 days ago as of writing), I was so stunned I couldn't cry right away. The next day, a friend told me I sounded sad (she called me on the phone). The moment she said that, I started to sob. I had to lock myself up in a bathroom cubicle at work for about 40 minutes and cried quietly.

Talk to someone as often as possible.

Doesn't matter who, just talk. Doesn't also matter what you talk about. Just engage in a conversation. The less personal, the better. You'd feel loneliest during the first few days. Battle the loneliness with random conversations. Don't indulge yourself with loneliness.

Gather your friends and let them troll him for you.

I know I said we should stop putting the blame on someone. But these are your friends, which means they are almost always on your side. No matter what. His friends are probably trolling you too so you're even.

You have to let your friends open your mind to reality because the truth is, you are still blinded by all the good memories you shared together. If you allow yourself to think only of the good times you spent with him, the higher your chances of being miserable. Your friends are your best bet at getting the ugly reality to unfold. Let them do it and appreciate it anyway. The more brutal the better.

Don't drink alcohol.

We do crazy stuff when we're drunk so avoid alcohol at all cost. This is a time when you need to keep your sanity. In my humble opinion, it's better to drink when you're happy. Don't drink when you're sad. Okay maybe a beer or a cocktail won't hurt. But just have one.

Delete all. Or don't but...

Ideally, you should cut all ties with him. Delete all your pictures together, your messages, and his number. Block him on social media. Because seeing these things is equal to still seeing him, which will make you suffer more.

But if you're like me who's a bit of a masochist, keep everything about him intact. But (yes there's a but, please see above) you have to be able to withstand seeing him without it affecting your daily life. And without you sending him a message and hoping he replies.

Through the years, I have transitioned from (a) someone who won't delete stuff and kept in touch only to be hurt again, to (b) someone who will delete everything because I couldn't stand the pain, and to finally being (c) someone who doesn't delete right away but knows how to control emotions till I don't care anymore (in which case I delete everything eventually without torturing myself).

Keep yourself busy.

If work isn't busy enough, get a hobby and be good at it. Or enrol in a class. Online classes are handy during this time. The goal is for you to focus on something else, not on the pain. Improving yourself is a bonus.


As usual ang haba lol! Sorry na. ✌️

[angeljolie]

^^True! Eh kumusta naman si athlete?

[Girltalker2]

Parang ang hirap din hindi ma-attach if you're officially together and exclusive. It's a relationship so of course, it's natural that you act like you are in a relationship.

True! If bf/gf na nga kayo, then have to patch these small things nang di lumaki.
But definitely, importante ang communication.

@angeljolie, Sana Ma build nyo yung open na Pag uusap di parang nagpapakiramdaman lang kayo.
because that?s NOT how a relationship should be.