Online Dating (Thread 2)

[Girltalker2]

^ Hindi pa sya siguro yung right guy na willing ka mag gamble ng feelings mo. But just like any other investment, we evaluate the risks involved first (and think of ways in mitigating in case worst scenario happens) before we invest.

[Apple1230]

Just an update lang. went out with the lawyer last night. He picked me up sa place ko took him 3 hours just to get there. We had dinner and drinks. Nung pauwi nangungulit na sagutin ko na daw siya. Nagmamadali si kuya. I told him we have to get to know each other first to see kung compatible kame. What?s the rush diba?

Ewan ko kung pabebe lang ba ako pero ayoko talaga ng holding hands or kissing kung hindi ko bf.  He is the second guy na gusto ng holding hands at kiss na tinanggihan ko. Pareho sila nung coach na italian. Iniisip ko tuloy is it me? Nag iinarte lang ba ako?

Sa online ko naman i am chatting with a few guys pero ewan ko pa puro hi, hello lang karamihan dun. I am torn between actively dating or work kasi i am currently taking an entrepreneurship class to put up my own digital marketing company.

[Girltalker2]

Nung pauwi nangungulit na sagutin ko na daw siya. Nagmamadali si kuya. I told him we have to get to know each other first to see kung compatible kame. What?s the rush diba?

I met a guy one time sa isang activity group in the country I?m staying in. Pinoy. Ang pananaw nya is gf muna then get to know. Sakin there?s no such thing. I want to get to know the person before ko gusto sya i-bf. Eh pano if there?s a better guy out there, eh di ako ang nawalan.

Kung gusto nya agaran, sabihin nya agad. Para Di na kelangan magdate. Both of you don?t waste time meeting eh iba pala ang paraan nyo para lumevel up yung relationship.

So siguro lesson learned, Isa rin ito sa checklist mo in your convo sa online. If he agrees your approach then you can meet. Otherwise if he is in a hurry at ayaw mo, huwag na magmeet, sayang oras, sayang gasolina.

Ewan ko kung pabebe lang ba ako pero ayoko talaga ng holding hands or kissing kung hindi ko bf.  He is the second guy na gusto ng holding hands at kiss na tinanggihan ko. Pareho sila nung coach na italian. Iniisip ko tuloy is it me? Nag iinarte lang ba ako?

That?s not pa-baby. That?s what you feel. If you?re not comfortable, then you?re not.
Sa totoo lang, ako, the more guys like to hold hands or kiss kapag dating palang kayo, nakaka turn off.

Unless the feeling is mutual, they can?t insist. That?s your right as a woman. The guys job is to make you feel comfortable. If you?re not, lalo ka lang lalayo. Just go to the next.

Sa online ko naman i am chatting with a few guys pero ewan ko pa puro hi, hello lang karamihan dun. I am torn between actively dating or work kasi i am currently taking an entrepreneurship class to put up my own digital marketing company.

Dating requires time. And minsan priorities din. I am also very busy at work all the time. Di ko akalain magkaka oras ako magdate. Biruin mo di nagmaterialise yung promotion ko, so sad ako. Pero nagka oras ako. And Pag tutuusin, my partner din relatively was freer at that time. God has His ways talaga. If it had happened now, no way kami magkaka oras to get to know each other.
So what I?m saying is just take your time. You shouldn?t be pressured. Maghanap ng date if May time,  then pursue your dreams. Di naman sa wala Kang ginagawa, at di rin naman na kelangan mo career-in. Balance lang. if sya ang guy for you, mag aantay sya.

[angeljolie]

@Angeljolie - minsan kasi in a relationship give and take iyan eh. You don?t need naman to invest agad agad in the relationship. Puede naman friends muna and just let the feelings develop. You don?t need to invest so much and Kung hindi sya behaving as you want, maintain lang the friendship while you shop around.
You will definitely end up frustrated if sa kanya mo Lang inubos oras mo then only to find out di mo gusto ugali  nya.

On your France trip, I kinda can relate. But for me it?s the other way around. When I visit Manila, alam ng better half ko that I will be busy with my family. To think madalas ako umuwi ah, but he understands and he knows and doesn?t impose na kelangan asikasuhin ko sya. But ako mismo minsan nag offer to come with me coz we plan to go to Palawan (so Manila stopover), sya pa mismo nagtatanong if I?m meeting my siblings or not.
In your case, sana you can be understanding enough kasi how often ba sya nauwi? Is this once a year or first time in a Long time? Then kasama ka agad. So you really cannot expect first class treatment. Furthermore, depends din sa communication ninyong dalawa, Kung baga setting expectatiaons. If he didn?t tell you the agenda at baka sya pa nagsabi na itour ka nya saan saan then Di nangyari then yun nakakainis nga.

You're right. I think I have invested too much too soon and it consumed me. Feeling ko today ready na ako marinig ang isasagot nya kaya tinanong ko na sya kung may problema ba. Last week he was so warm and sweet, pero this week medyo iba na naman. He tries to be present pero weird. Napapagod na ako sa rollercoaster ride. But I digress. So tinanong ko sya kanina at ang sagot nya, "I just need a break." I said ok and I actually kinda need that break too. Kasi nagsasawa na din ako. Pinipilit na lang talaga namin na hindi bumitaw but we're obviously hanging by a thread. So I guess it's really time to move on. Ang ultimatum ko sa sarili ko ay April 13 this year so I beat my deadline! Lol!

Ayoko na pag-usapan yung nangyari sa France because irrelevant naman na, but for the sake of it, I think magkaiba yung situation natin because your bf is Pinoy, right? Or at least can speak your family's language? Ako kasi I was a total stranger there. But anyway, thanks. I will keep in mind to be more understanding next time.

True! If bf/gf na nga kayo, then have to patch these small things nang di lumaki.
But definitely, importante ang communication.

@angeljolie, Sana Ma build nyo yung open na Pag uusap di parang nagpapakiramdaman lang kayo.
because that?s NOT how a relationship should be.

We always said we should have open communication. Sya pa yung mapilit talaga nung una na sabihin ko ang nararamdaman ko hehe. But it never really happened. At least from his end. He was always holding back.  But again, irrelevant na.

@angejolie: Kaya ayoko ring mahulog dito kay athlete, baka magsulat din ako ng ganyang kahaba...lol!  I want to have someone with me but I don't want the heartaches that come with it. Hindi ako ganon kadaling maka-move on. I mean, we really get along. It's a slow process but we like each other, obviously. But I am giving it a full year, then I will decide if I want to continue with it or not. For now, feeling ko kampante kami sa isa't isa but I am sure at some point I would like it to progress a little bit faster.

Yeah give it a year. Ang maipapayo ko lang, bilang nauuna ako sa race kumbaga hehe, pay attention to the red flags. They're not there for nothing. If you think he's worth taking the risk, then go for it. Pero if there is any doubt kahit maliit pa yung doubt, pag isipan mo mabuti. I wish you guys well though! Ikaw man lang ay dumagdag sa "graduate" list natin dito. Kami kasi mukhang sa "graveyard" ang bagsak. hehe.

[angeljolie]

^I have been 'hiding' my FB status too, but did you know it is still visible when someone opens your chatbox? Sa IG din nakadeactivate ang status ko. I also don't want to see his status kasi.

Good luck girl! Ako, ayoko na muna yata. Yata lang. I'm not closing my doors. Pero hindi ko na muna ipa-prioritize. I have so much I need to do anyway. That being said, would  I say bye-bye to this thread?

[kvandenhaak]

^I turned off the chat mode as well. And I confirmed it with friends that they can't see me online.

Yes, give yourself enough time to heal. I know exactly how exhausting it is to be in that situation. Relationship is a learning process. I am sure you will be wiser next time.

[Girltalker2]

Last week he was so warm and sweet, pero this week medyo iba na naman. He tries to be present pero weird. Napapagod na ako sa rollercoaster ride.

Bakit nga may mga ganun. Pero kasi once you like a person, Pag naging sweet, parang nakalimutan mo na lahat eh. Pero Pag naging cold, magtataka ka na lang.

But I?ve learned that lesson na in the past, once may ganyan and consistent sya na on and off, he is not a good partner.

I think magkaiba yung situation natin because your bf is Pinoy, right? Or at least can speak your family's language? Ako kasi I was a total stranger there. But anyway, thanks. I will keep in mind to be more understanding next time.

No, he is not Pinoy.

We always said we should have open communication. Sya pa yung mapilit talaga nung una na sabihin ko ang nararamdaman ko hehe. But it never really happened. At least from his end. He was always holding back.  But again, irrelevant na.

I guess he may not be consciously holding back. Maraming guys na sadyang Di expressive or sometimes they don?t know how to communicate effectively their feelings and thoughts.

Yeah give it a year. Ang maipapayo ko lang, bilang nauuna ako sa race kumbaga hehe, pay attention to the red flags. They're not there for nothing. If you think he's worth taking the risk, then go for it. Pero if there is any doubt kahit maliit pa yung doubt, pag isipan mo mabuti. I wish you guys well though! Ikaw man lang ay dumagdag sa "graduate" list natin dito. Kami kasi mukhang sa "graveyard" ang bagsak. hehe.

Wow tagal naman ng 1 year!
Sakin ok lang naman friends kayo eh. While both of you shop and keep options open until you find that someone na worth your time.
Ito yung approach ko when I was dating eh. But it wasn?t a year! Took me mga 6 months of dating then tsaka lang nag decide mag exclusive dating. And 2 months siguro of seeing him. Feeling ko Kasi if 1 Guy lang ka-date ko for 1 year, parang ang dami Kong opportunities na namiss if sa kanya lang oras ko eh hindi pa naman kami. Lugi ka.
Just keep options open

[Girltalker2]

I see, may point din kasi likeable naman Si guy 😁

Pero if he is giving you hassles and worries, siguro puede idrop nalang like what you did the last time hehe.
Naalala ko kasi yung ex colleague ko who I was seeing for 5 months din, dyan lang sya Pag available pero hot and cold. I kept my options open, and at the same time I was seeing others din (including my current bf din).  Then after 2 months of seeing him (my current bf) he asked me if we want to go exclusive dating with him. Syempre kilig ako pero toning down my expectations, pakipot pako Sabi ko sige will think about it (my reason was - is he worth it as I?m missing other opportunities din). Then nung inask nya ulit tsaka ko sinabi sige nanga hahaha. Kasi I realized the other men I?m dating like my ex colleague and may pinoy din (from my sports activities) are nowhere near his character (very consistent sya).

But technically speaking kung iisipin mo nga naman 1 year is not Long if di kayo almost everyday nagkikita. I was at that time not busy with work Kaya I had time to go out 3-4x a week. Kaya when I was exclusive dating na my bf, I Guess it also took me another year or so (almost 2 siguro) to finally introduce him to my family and vice versa.

[angeljolie]

Sa una, 1 year seems too long. Pero in my case, I think sakto sya. Ngayon pa lang lumalabas talaga yung tunay na personality nya. Yeah consistent sya na rollercoaster and he doesn't express what he really feels/thinks. Nakakapagod talaga yung highs and lows at yung panghuhula kung ano ba ang iniisip at plano nya.

Ngayon ko naiisip how shallow our 'relationship' had been. Nakakalungkot pero c'est la vie!

[Apple1230]

Share ko lang i recently took an entrepreneur class and may 2 guy classmates ako na may gusto sa akin pareho sila nagpaparamdam then ngayon nag aaway na sila. Nakakaloka kasi hindi ko naman sila parehas type. I will take up masters of entrepreneurship sa AIM sa august baka may ma meet rin ako dun. Madugo ang tuition fee P950k for 18months so hindi rin siguro basta basta ang mga magiging classmates ko. But i am there for the class and maybe for business connections bonus lang kung meron. Kung wala ok rin basta ang importante matuto ako.

Sa online naman naka park pa din profile ko hindi ko na o open kasi tinatamad na rin ako makipag usap. I recently learned na nahihirapan na financially yung parents ko so focus ako dun. Gusto ko makapag provide for them kaya doble kayod, super tipid at pag sisikap sa ngayon. Naawa ako sa kanila tinatago kasi nila yung totoo ayaw siguro nila kame mag worry and nahihiya rin sila magsabi.   

May saying nga na what is meant for you will find you. So siguro just be patient lang. God?s timing is impeccable coz He is always on time.  

[itsmeangel]

currently trying online dating, may massuggest ba kayo na sites/apps na medyo mas serious ang mga tao? haha. tinder pa lang kasi nattry ko... although may mga okay naman, dami din talaga na for fun lang 

[angeljolie]

^^^Hindi ko pa na try yung hindi masyadong seryoso. Hindi ako marunong. Teka, pano ba gawin yun? A friend told me, bakit daw hindi ko bigyan ng chance yung guys na hindi ko type. Kasi pag daw type ko yung guy sa simula pa lang, I always end up luhaan.

^^Good luck sa AIM. Sana may mameet ka na okay dun. Pero tama, wag na iprioritize ang lovelife muna. Kung dumating, good. Kung hindi, hintay pa.

[Apple1230]

@itsmeangel try mo okcupid. Pero kasi basta online andiyan na yung mga gusto ko hookup lang hindi na mawawala yung. Para malaman mo go for guys na hindi gwapo yung medyo nerdy kasi chances are high na hindi sila madali makakuha ng girls so they tend to want something more serious. And sometime nasa profile rin nila naka indicate yun. Also kung much older kasi naghahanap na yan ng stability sa buhay nila. Huwag yung recently divorced kasi Ine explore pa nila ang new found freedom nila. Mas ok kung medyo matagal nang single mga around 1 or 2years na.

@angeljolie thank  you sis. Hindi naman ako umaasa pero every class na attend ko may na me meet ako minsan yung teacher pa pero usually mga  hindi ko type so wala rin. Right now focus lang talaga ako makatulong sa parents ko lalo na 70 plus na sila.

Dapat may attration kahit konti kasi na try ko na yan totally hindi ko type. Although super ok naman ugali kaso yung guy na mismo na feel niya na hindi  ako attracted sa kanya. Naka 11 dates na kame wala pa rin ayaw ma develop on my part. Hirap din pilitin yung sarili mo. Darating din yan dont worry maybe not yet kasi baka may mas importante pa na kailangan mong gawin.

 

[angeljolie]

^I must agree, be extra careful with divorced men. This guy I have been 'dating' has been divorced for 7 years pero hanggang ngayon urong sulong pa din. I also met someone Pinoy naman na US citizen, divorced din for 8 years and he said mas enjoy nya ang pagiging single.

[angeljolie]

^Thanks! Sige pagiisipan ko yan. Ni-reactivate ko profile ko sa isang site. I?m not ready for something serious pero tingin tingin lang what kinds of guys are in the market. Pampaalis lang ng lungkot hehe.

[Girltalker2]

Madugo ang tuition fee P950k for 18months so hindi rin siguro basta basta ang mga magiging classmates ko.

Just enjoy the course and establish contacts. Good luck sis! I know a couple of profs there.
As for the students, hindi naman purkit they can afford, ok na. Kasi nasa sa tao parin yun. Baka kasi sinend Lang sila dyan ng rich parents. Or sometimes spoiled din at laki sa layaw. So I really can?t say that the quality of men going to an expensive school is better. Though puede Ma rule out mo one factor, may moolah sila   in fact mas careful ako if they?re rich, kasi without their money, what can they do? .

currently trying online dating, may massuggest ba kayo na sites/apps na medyo mas serious ang mga tao? haha. tinder pa lang kasi nattry ko... although may mga okay naman, dami din talaga na for fun lang 

You mean serious na guy?

Kung in real life nga ang daming manlokoko, online pa kaya where they can hide behind their pics and create a totally different image.

[Shadow Angel]

Natawa ako dun sa nerdy. I've been on the dating site where I met my husband. Before him wala naman ako na meet na nerdy. Nakakachamba ako na 90 percent of them ay matino at gwapo.

Hindi lang nagcliclik un mga nauna kasi meron kami bagay na hindi magkasundo. Dun sa mga constan kachat ko aside pa dun sa minsan ko lang replyan. Example

-un isa may stable job, good career and 2 years lang gap sa akin kaso ayaw ng kids so ayaw ko na though na ok na ok sya dahil compatible kami sa halos lahat ng bagay at great joker din. Nafall talaga ako sa kanya kaso katulad nya firm din ako sa kung ano gusto ko gawin sa buhay at pagpapamilya.
-tapos ito naman isa business man, mayaman ang tangkad na ang gwapo. Kaso nun makadate ko sobrang gentleman, tapos workaholic di ko type ang ganun kasi parang naghahanap lang sya ng trophy wife at magkaanak.
-eto naman isa ok na sana may stable job etc un lang home buddy lang hindi mahilig lumabas or mag travel man lang kaya ayaw ko.
-eto mayaman din businessman kaso ang hanap naman makakatulong sa mga negosyo nya parang marriage for convient lang ang hanap not sure pa kung gusto ng anak kasi busy raw sya sa business nya ayaw ko ng wala certain na plan about sa pag aanak.
 

[itsmeangel]

Haha I guess.. online or real life dami talaga manloloko 😩 anyway, nakakatawa nga yung nerdy pero gets ko yung point.. haha. Sige I will try ok cupid 😊

[nerddict]

Question mga sis, this online dating, ano preferred age dito? kailangan ba nasa 30's na?

[Shadow Angel]

Ako mas gusto ko malapit lang sa age ko ayaw ko nun 10years and up ang age gap. Dami bracket ng age dyan meron start from 20's to 60's may mga teen din.