Sa pinas ba ito or abroad?
Just asking because I think if pinas, it can get complicated because of extended family ties.
I have 2 kids. My current partner divorced with 3 kids. All grown up na, youngest now is 14yo.
In our case, malalaki na mga bata and my kids stay with me while his kids stay with the mom.
For now we have decided to stay together. No marriage plans for me because feeling ko it won't be fair to my kids if I prioritise another man in my life considering they are still in school (late teens). Siguro marriage will eventually come once our kids are independent adults na.
Ups and downs - it is a nice feeling to go out altogether during Christmas and New year. Masaya kasi marami kami and kids blend well at magsing age sila. Kids are well behaved at wala kaming problem sa away, so far.
Downs for me minsan there's this part of me that still wants to keep my distance from his kids, simply because they still have a mom and I'm not there to replace their mom. So minsan if we are out, pag may nagtanong kung ano ako nung bata, sasabihin ko friend. Totoo naman di ba.
Pero knowing me, sometimes inevitably I want to treat them like my family (not necessarily kids) - but like my Niece/Nephew or kapatid. But I do feel some disappointment at times but I brush them aside. I always think that these Kids have gone through a lot by witnessing their parents separation, so somehow I think we should be careful and be more understanding. Tsaka worse, their dad is with me, not with them. Kaya I always have a soft spot for them.
Then sometimes there's no one clear cut rule din when it comes to money matters. Maraming gray areas that u can encounter.
Like for example, Since we are not married but staying together. Inevitably since I have 2 and he has 3, and we earn almost the same, Mas may savings ako. So minsan (but not all the time), I spend more din but kapalit naman nun is the joy being with them so okay lang. in trips also, or when we go out. During occasions on gift giving and birthday celebrations.
For me ito Yung medyo touchy subject - financial. Especially if you decide to get married and stay in the same house. Who spends for what. Or halo na tutal same naman kayo 1 kid each? 😊
Sorry ito mahaba kwento, just to give you one gray area I encountered.
When my partner bought a car, I shouldered 20%. But I never claimed the car is mine since ayoko magdrive. Isip ko naman kasi hinahatid din naman nya ako minsan. But when he bought the car, we were not yet living together. Kaya at that time, he said he wants to pay me back. Sabi ko naman anytime coz I have extra naman.
Then a couple of years later, when we were staying together na, his first son 22yo wants to buy a car kasi his work shift is too early - 630am, takes him 1 hour to commute. Pero pag drive 20min lang. so my partner helped in the downpayment of the car, then monthly his son and the mother share the loan amortization. Kung baga labas nako doon, I just know that they wanted to buy but I'm not part of the decision making. but then sometimes iniisip ko why he had money for downpayment ng iba na parang he used my money for the downpayment for his son's car, of which the mom and other kids use din. Samantalang me and my 2 kids, we don't have a car and we take the train/bus most of the time.
So sometimes I think if it is fair to my 2 kids.
There are others pa, but bottom line, Feeling ko dapat clear expectations nyo para minimised ang issues, especially when it comes to money.
Another topic is - disciplining kids. Sa inyo siguro, since bata pa kids nyo, you need to also talk about your situation and how to deal with disciplining and rearing them. Samin kasi, when we see something wrong sa anak nung Isa, we don't go direct to the kid. He tells me what's wrong to my kids and I tell him what's wrong with his kids and we deal with our respective kids on our own. Hanggang dito na muna otherwise baka humaba pa lalo
