in relationship with a guy who's married but seperated

[cmsilayan]

Hi po,

need advise , I've been with a relationship with this guy for 6 months.

hindi ko pa alam na married sya at seperated at that time later lang nya sinabi. (syempre nagalit ako) . mahal ko sya pero parang niloko nya ko eh. tangappin ko ba sya?

1. walang anak yung guy sa wife nya,
2. they been married for only couple of years
3.tanggap ako ng pamilya ng guy dahil ayaw na nila sa wife nung guy ,
4. sad dahil even the family nya tinago sakin na kasal pala sya


*(hindi ako makareply , dito ko nalang ilagay ang sagot.  for mam charmed_gal.. walang legal na seperation talagang hiwalay lang sila, yung girl asa province na.  Mam plumpolka[/b wala kong pinanghahawakan kundi ang word ng family nya at ni bf)

TIA

[lovemeagain30]

Mukhang alam mo na ang sagot sis kailangan mo lang ng confirmation. 

Pangarap mo ba maikasal one day na walang hassle at walang mahabang paghihintay? If YES and YES ang sagot mo. Then don't push for this relationship.

Yung "mahal" pede mahanap yan at maibigay yan sa ibang tao.  Wag mong gawin kumplikado ang buhay mo habang maaga pa. Naghahanap kalang ng sakit ng ulo. Maniwala ka.

[plumpolka]

been there done that pero sakin kasi, di ko alam na may anak na sya (but not married with the mother) and yes mahal ko na din sya para umatras pa.

with you, mas complicated kasi married. and ma-advise ko lang is pag-isipan mong mabuti if worth it ba talaga sya. 6 mos palang naman so di ka pa naman ganon ka-invested sa feelings. 1st thing you have to consider is talaga bang separated sila? based from experience, never believe whatever the guy says patungkol sa (ex)-wife nila unless you have proof. mga lalaki kasi magaling gumawa ng kwento na maf-feel mo na ikaw talaga, but di mo alam, ganon din pala sinasabi nya sa wife nya. UNLESS they are annuled, it is easier for you. and sigurado ka bang hiwalay na sila? ok lang ba sa wife na hiwalay na sila? wag ka pumasok sa situation na hindi ka handa. maging ready ka sa lahat ng pwedeng maging possibility. Para sa wife, at sa ibang tao, makipagrelasyon ka sa isang may asawa, kahit pa hiwalay, the wife can still call you kabit or homewrecker. kaya mo ba lunukin yun for the sake of your relationship with this guy? ok lang ba sayo na nagkikita sila ng wife nya kung may anak sila? tingin mo ba, walang mangyayari sa kanila kung magkita sila? how sure are you na kung may anak nga sila, para sa anak lang lahat ng ginagawa nya at hindi sa nanay?

kwento ko lang, i have a friend with a child sa married man. 7 yrs na sila and processing parin ang annulment nila, you know what's sad in their relationship? toxic at bitter yung (ex)-wife, so up until now, tinatago parin sya ng bf nya. pati mga anak nila sa kanya lang nakapangalan para hindi masilip ng wife. hindi sila pwede mag mall ng magkakasama, hindi pwedeng mapicture-an sila as family, no socmeds, no tags. are you ready for that kind of relationship? ang dami pwede mangyari sa mga married relationship. kahit pa emotionally separated sila but by law, they are still married, pwede ka parin makasuhan ng wife. sorry kung medyo nega, pero sabi ko nga, been there done that. hindi pa kasal yung sa akin ah, sobrang dami ko na pinagdaanan. i stayed kasi pinanghahawakan ko na hindi naman sya kasal. pero kung kasal sya, im out agad.

[charmed_gal]

^hi sis!current bf ko was married. first date pa lang inamin na nya saken kaya 2nd date pa lang hiningi ko na agad proof na hiwalay na nga sya. aun may pinakita sya saken marriage certificate nya na may null and void na notation. currently ongoing na din ang church annulment nya.

siempre nung sinabi nya saken na he was married nagulat ako. kaya inabot din ng ilang buwan ligawan stage kase nga medyo alangan ako dahil sa may sabit na. 

siguro kung ako nasa situation mo sana man lang humingi ka ng proof or may action na ba sya ginagawa para balang araw mapakasalan ka nya. kase kung tingin nya looking forward sya to get married ulit someday (sana sayo na sis) di ba dapat inaayos nya na separation nya kung talagang hiwalay na sila.

[plumpolka]

mahirap din kasi yung hiwalay lang sa salita. people may not agree with me pero i think mas madali kasi makipagbati/balikan sa asawa dahil meron kayong "kasal" na pwedeng panghawakan, pwedeng gusto i-save. sa ngayon pwede hiwalay pero baka mamaya may away mag-asawa lang naman sila tapos umeeksena ka lang.


^good for you sis! at least may proof of purchase ka LOL. sa panahon ngayon, mas magandang sigurado dahil maraming loko-loko.

[mimiku]

^hi sis!current bf ko was married. first date pa lang inamin na nya saken kaya 2nd date pa lang hiningi ko na agad proof na hiwalay na nga sya. aun may pinakita sya saken marriage certificate nya na may null and void na notation. currently ongoing na din ang church annulment nya.

siempre nung sinabi nya saken na he was married nagulat ako. kaya inabot din ng ilang buwan ligawan stage kase nga medyo alangan ako dahil sa may sabit na. 

siguro kung ako nasa situation mo sana man lang humingi ka ng proof or may action na ba sya ginagawa para balang araw mapakasalan ka nya. kase kung tingin nya looking forward sya to get married ulit someday (sana sayo na sis) di ba dapat inaayos nya na separation nya kung talagang hiwalay na sila.

Null and void means the marriage was not VALID to begin with. If the marriage certificate which he had shown you is indeed authentic (hindi siya made in Recto ha?) then it means the marriage is no longer existing. I don't think they still need to annul the church wedding. It probably needs lang some arrangement in papers. So he's good to go.

To TS:
I know somebody who's in the same boat. The guy was separated for years to the wife because of pambabae. He promised her that he'll process the annulment. Naniwala si girl. But then the only problem was the wife doesn't want to sign the papers. So hangang na natengga nang natengga yung inaasam na kasal ni girl. They have been together for 8 years and still she could not even tag pictures of him because of this. Hindi sila legal. But she's so hooked up on him I think she's having a hard time letting go. Although, nabalitaan ko that the girl wants out na since she's just wasting her life with him. She's turning 34 na and still couldn't plan her life ahead because of this.

Don't be like her.

Go get yourself a single man.

6 months is still not that long. There is hardly any wasted time and effort. Get out of the relationship (if you want to have a normal life) as soon as possible.

[shinies]

Red flags:
- nagsinungaling siya sayo
- pinagtakpan ng pamilya niya
- walang legal na seperation

6 months lang naman sis.. Hanap ka na lang ng mas mabuting lalaki.

[kvandenhaak]

The problem is not because he is still married. The problem is he lied about it. Everyone has the right to be given a second chance on happiness. However, don't believe everything he says. Ang daling magsabi na hiwalay sila. If he is not putting any effort in making the separation legal then that can be a problem.

I have met guys na separated din and I always ask how long they have been separated. Kapag masyadong recent, it's a red flag. Kasi baka gagawin lang akong filler while they are sorting things out. Dali rin kasing sabihin that the divorce is on going.