Author Topic: Is he losing interest?  (Read 6499 times)

remilicious

  • Senior GirlTalker
  • ****
  • Posts: 574
Is he losing interest?
« on: May 15, 2017, 02:44:24 pm »
Hi! There's this guy who started courting me. At first he was very consistent, always messaging and calling. It's long distance though so it's more complicated. But after some time, I've noticed he has stopped calling. He still messages but there are days he doesn't contact me or sometimes, in the middle of the conversation, he just stopped replying. He will text again the following day sorry I wasn't able to put load. But it feels like an excuse. Makes me think did I do something wrong or he is just busy?

Maybe I got so used to him messaging everyday and maybe I'm being clingy (haha to think hindi kami). But are these signs of him losing interest? Should I ask him directly that I noticed his change in behavior? I'm just thinking if we became a couple and this is how he'll be, it's going to be harder considering we're going to be LDR. What should I do? Ignore and just message him when he does or let him know how I feel?

Btw, he also said he'll visit me in July but right now it feels like this won't even happen.

NeilRudecat

  • GirlTalker
  • **
  • Posts: 177
  • The Truth on Informed Choice & Women Empowerment!
Re: Is he losing interest?
« Reply #1 on: May 15, 2017, 03:04:50 pm »
If he's really seriously interested with you wholly as a person then he should still be consistently communicating with you. 

If his intentions are not pure and he is motivated by mere lust, he will not be able to sustain the communication.
« Last Edit: May 15, 2017, 03:06:40 pm by NeilRudecat »
(http://)

simang

  • Acts like a lady, thinks like a man.
  • Super GirlTalker
  • *****
  • Posts: 5849
Re: Is he losing interest?
« Reply #2 on: May 15, 2017, 04:12:07 pm »
Interest is difficult to fake. Kung hindi genuine, hindi masusustain yan.

Are you guys exclusive? Malinaw ba sa inyo yun? If hindi, then I wouldn't worry about him not messaging, kung ako ikaw i'll busy myself with other things na lang. Kasi I'm sure pag tinanong mo yan kung bakit hindi ka nya kinocontact, ang default answer dyan ay "busy ako".
...all adventurous women do.

glamorosa_09

  • Super GirlTalker
  • *****
  • Posts: 1082
Re: Is he losing interest?
« Reply #3 on: May 15, 2017, 07:35:19 pm »
Based from experiences (many years ago), if the guy is pursuing you for a serious commitment, you wouldn't be second-guessing his intention. You don't have to analyze if he's into you or not, kasi you will really feel it. Wait for that.

This guy, baka pampalipas oras ka lang. Pag maraming time, maraming text. Pag walang time, walang text. A serious pursuer will make you feel a priority rather than an option.

Girltalker2

  • Super GirlTalker
  • *****
  • Posts: 3251
Re: Is he losing interest?
« Reply #4 on: May 15, 2017, 10:41:16 pm »
TS, suggestion ko lang as a Sister, move on. This guy is not worth your time.

Kahit pa bumisita iyan sa July, so Long as there's a tinge of doubt sa actions nya, do not get into the trap of falling for someone biglang susulpot or maglalaho na parang bula.

This happened to me before. After separating with my ex hubby (who was my childhood sweetheart), I dated a guy similar to the guy na nabanggit ni TS.

Since I never really dated anyone before, with the exception of ex hubby, I also didn't know anything about all this stuff. I just found myself confused at bakit kung Kelan nagugustuhan ko na sya, tsaka Hindi ko sya mahagilap. Then it dawned on me, Hindi ko iniwan ex ko just to be taken for a ride. I was in fact starting to like him, kasi araw arawin ka ba naman text, calls, etc. Then suddenly nawala. After a couple of weeks, susulpot na naman then mawawala.

What I did initially was gave him a dose of his medicine. If he responded to me after 3 days, I won't respond immediately also and wait for 3 days (if I can last that long). In the end, ako yung isip ng isip, like TS, ano ba nangyayari, does he not like me anymore, losing interest etc.

Hanggang sa napikon ako, I decided I will have to divert my attention. He was already consuming a lot of my time, bago matulog iniisip ko sya, when I wake up wondering if he will call me (as what he said he will but he did not)...

I diverted my attention by dating other men. Focus on my kids and continue to improve on myself. This phenomenon got me curious - why it happens. Research galore ako at the same time I also dated a few guys. There I figured it out, well, I think I did or I do know the answer. Some men are simply jerks while some do not know what they want.

To be in the safe side, I always assume they're jerks. Unless they prove otherwise. I wanted to protect my heart, therefore when I go on a date with a guy, I make sure I won't fall for him that easily. I will judge his character if he is right for me, look through his motives if he is sincere, if he is exclusive dating me and if he is serious to go on to the next step. At the onset of your friendship, maganda if malinaw ang pakay nyo - I'm looking for a Friend na Baka puede maging lifelong partner. This was my objective. So if the guy just wants to play at Hindi Ito ang motive nya, I just move on. But if he is fun to be with, I cherish the friendship but it is likewise clear to him that I'm not his gf, he is not my bf, we are friends, no benefits, I date other men and he is free to do as well, no attachments. I hold back by seeing others also para diverted attention ko, and the best part, I'm learning how different men can be. If they have put their foot down and directly tells me they want a relationship, they want commitment, that's the time I will open my heart and decide if he is the one for me. If wala ako Ma-feel, eh di move on ulit. If may spark, then we talk it out by moving to the next level - from friendship, exclusive dating, commitment, etc. And this is how I decided to love my partner now.

Yes, sabi ng iba, you don't plan love. Kung Sino magpa tibok ng puso mo. Well, I used to say that when I was young. But now having gone through love's ups and downs, I would always promote for every women out there to protect yourself from evil guys, men who prey on your heart so they can boost their ego.

Just remind yourself that you did not go through a past heartache (if u had one) or raised by your parents para lang istorbohin ng isang nilalang na di mo Kaano-ano, just because it entertains him.
« Last Edit: May 15, 2017, 10:51:53 pm by Girltalker2 »

khaleesiCersei

  • Super GirlTalker
  • *****
  • Posts: 1435
Re: Is he losing interest?
« Reply #5 on: May 15, 2017, 11:45:49 pm »
Ditch him. He's probably talking  with other girls aside from you. He is not that into you sis. Or maybe he's leading you on for his own ego boost. Mga ganyang galawan sis, alam na this haha!

And unsolicited advise, never ever wonder or get worried if the guy is losing interest. To heck with his interests lol! You are interesting. You are worth being pursued and getting to know more of. Nag iisa ka lang, wala kang katulad. It's his loss.

Ngayon, Ask him straight up 'what do you want from me? Kasi ako i know what i want. I am looking for something serious and worth my time, if you can't give that to me, its ok. I don't want to waste both of our time.' Tapos Kung di makasagot ng maayos. Delete him from your contacts. Time is precious sis hehe.

kvan

  • Introvert, Demisexual
  • Super GirlTalker
  • *****
  • Posts: 3328
  • Accidental Cougar
Re: Is he losing interest?
« Reply #6 on: May 16, 2017, 02:38:25 am »
The moment you wonder if a guy is losing interest is the time you need to move on. Now to be fair with the guy, sometimes they lose interest if they think it's going nowhere. I believe there's a time when you can play a little bit hard to get. Afterwards, you should be open and honest about how you feel. But that's just me.
"Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own" ---Matthew 6:34

remilicious

  • Senior GirlTalker
  • ****
  • Posts: 574
Re: Is he losing interest?
« Reply #7 on: May 16, 2017, 10:39:03 pm »
I don't message him anymore na ako nagiinitiate. I also didn't reply na sa last text niya. Now he has misssed another day. Should I even tell him the next time he messages that I noticed his change in actions lately?

It saddens me that I have closed myself to entertaining guys for years. Now that I've put myself out there, this is what I get. Thanks to all who replied to my problem! You encourage me to do the right thing.

Girltalker2

  • Super GirlTalker
  • *****
  • Posts: 3251
Re: Is he losing interest?
« Reply #8 on: May 17, 2017, 06:21:02 am »

^ up to you sis if you still want to open up your feelings to him.

Para sakin, no point. Tutal di naman sya interested. Why would I swallow my pride and tell it to him? Hoping na he changes his mind? Then ? He can even take advantage (again) and come up with excuses and be sweet and all. Only to find out later na option ka lang. this is just my opinion. Nasa sayo din naman iyan if ikatatahimik mo.

Sa experience ko, the guy I mentioned in my previous post? Hinayaan ko nalang sya mawala one time. Then when he contacted me again, I told him I think we are better off not dating because I'm liking another guy I'm seeing and we are thinking of dating exclusively. Then tsaka sya nagt text and tawag ulit sakin. Di ko na sinagot and binlock ko. A bah! Pati email. Di tumitigil.  [Feeling ko kapal mukha nya for him to approach me tapos kung kelan  I'm starting to like him, mawawala, then sisipot whenever he is free.]  anyway, eventually tumigil din pero pasulpot sulpot parin at times.

I'm now much happier with my partner. Kasi nakita ko his consistency and commitment. Kaya no regrets moving on to the next and the next and the next... so long as you don't see it in him, you're better off single kesa sa stress na naididulot nila.

yonamarie

  • GirlTalker
  • **
  • Posts: 84
  • Young|Frustrated RN|Mother to Sam
Re: Is he losing interest?
« Reply #9 on: May 17, 2017, 02:23:13 pm »
Complicated to start with but yes the moment you think of it as 'he is losing interest'.. He might be. But still, dont just jump into conclusions quickly.

First of all, you have to trust him if you trust that much it wouldnt bother you in the first place.
For now, just be yourself and patiently wait for him if you must.

remilicious

  • Senior GirlTalker
  • ****
  • Posts: 574
Re: Is he losing interest?
« Reply #10 on: May 18, 2017, 10:17:15 am »
Girltalker2 You're lucky you've met someone good. I wish I will too in the future. It's sad to know that sometimes you think you might have met someone good and turns out hindi rin pala.

Yonamarie, he hasn't contacted me for three days na. I'm thinking maybe if becomes a week, I'll message him na I'll delete him on Facebook and his number since h doesn't communicate anymore anyway. I guess the good thing about this is early on palang alam ko na ganyan siya kaysa naman I'm too deep tapos tsaka siya magiging ganyan.

Girltalker2

  • Super GirlTalker
  • *****
  • Posts: 3251
Re: Is he losing interest?
« Reply #11 on: May 19, 2017, 06:38:11 pm »
Girltalker2 You're lucky you've met someone good. I wish I will too in the future. It's sad to know that sometimes you think you might have met someone good and turns out hindi rin pala.


Sis, you're right, it is very disheartening to end up with a broken heart after coming out from a failed relationship. That's why after I experienced being disappointed, I revised my strategy - never expect. Just keep on meeting, mingling and dating. Just be you and have fun.

Unless he proves he is worthy, unless he is sure he wants a serious long term relationship with me (verbally and through consistent actions), that's the only time I start to think about BAKA may future kami.

If it doesn't materialise, I don't end up disappointed. But if it does, sure feel like winning in the Lotto. and always pray for God's guidance. Most often, He will lead you to question Kung ang guy at di nararapat sayo or He can just let things be if it's meant to be.

mimiku

  • Senior GirlTalker
  • ****
  • Posts: 735
Re: Is he losing interest?
« Reply #12 on: May 19, 2017, 08:55:33 pm »
This happened to me before. Same scenario. He lost interest because he had another girl on the side. Trust me if I guy likes you, he will pursue you at the ends of the earth. No excuses. Just divert your attention to other things, if he comes up again, LET HIM PROVE OTHERWISE. Play along muna, if he does not text, then don't. Let things be casual to both of you. Anyway, LDR naman. Go ahead, date other guys. Widen your options. Just don't put all your eggs into this basket - I sense he is not that into you as you are to him.
Veritas nunquam perit.

remilicious

  • Senior GirlTalker
  • ****
  • Posts: 574
Re: Is he losing interest?
« Reply #13 on: May 24, 2017, 10:18:01 pm »
He messaged me na after three days tapos lately he misses out a day. Pero feeling ko mauulit ulit yung mahaba haba. He still does it yung magrereply tapos in the middle of the convo mawawala. I asked him what happened to him. Sabi niya ikaw rin naman hindi nagpaparamdam (I don't message him first anymore). He said naubusan lang ng load. So I told him may FB naman. He doesn't call as much anymore. Only once since nawala siya for several days but di ko naman nasagot. We don't really have a conversation anymore unlike before. Sigh how I wish I'll meet the one God wants for me who will treat me much better than this guy.

Gaysha

  • Junior GirlTalker
  • ***
  • Posts: 418
Re: Is he losing interest?
« Reply #14 on: May 24, 2017, 11:58:11 pm »
I'm in this situation too before and even now. For me, I suggest as long as there is a line of communication, go with the flow lang, but don't put your all into it. Love yourself more and then love will follow according to Maxene Magalona. Charot. ;D

peachlipstick

  • Junior GirlTalker
  • ***
  • Posts: 450
  • Happiness is belonging, not belongings.
Re: Is he losing interest?
« Reply #15 on: May 25, 2017, 06:51:54 pm »
Hi sis remilicious, what are the things you talk about? May common interests ba kayo? Or do you just talk about random cheesy kind of things?

remilicious

  • Senior GirlTalker
  • ****
  • Posts: 574
Re: Is he losing interest?
« Reply #16 on: May 27, 2017, 09:12:53 pm »
Sorry guys ang haba!

We usually talk about work, family but lately it boils down to how's work, the weather (I think this is not a good sign hahaha if it comes down to this topic?) and then it usually ends there. If I've eaten na. Alam mo yun small talk nalang lately. :( I just realized na parang so far wala gaano except the beach and travel (but sa kanya kasi work-related at sa akin for vacation ang travel)? He likes basketball, I prefer dancing for exercise. We have a different religion, family background, etc. We still need to get to know each other I lot I guess... He talks more of cheesy stuff. Mas sweet siya sa akin. I stop myself from being too sweet kasi I don't want him to think na everything he does is ok or think he has a lot of chances na agad without proving himself more.

Hi sis remilicious, what are the things you talk about? May common interests ba kayo? Or do you just talk about random cheesy kind of things?


Hahaha true we should love ourselves more and maybe love will follow! I really do pray for that to happen. Yung real love that's deep and unbreakable (in other words, forever ahahaha!)

 How do you deal with your situation na similar to mine, apart from going with the flow and loving yourself more? :)

I'm in this situation too before and even now. For me, I suggest as long as there is a line of communication, go with the flow lang, but don't put your all into it. Love yourself more and then love will follow according to Maxene Magalona. Charot. ;D

Earlier he went online after so long of not doing so lately. Before he goes online everyday and calls/chats but after he went to a province for a wedding of his friend, siguro twice lang sya nagpm at tumawag since then. I missed his call pa since I wasn't online.

So I wanted to test him tonight and see if he'll call or reply like he does before prior to faltering with his communication with me lately. He did replied pero after a short while lang, he said he's going somewhere and left.

All we ever talked about was how we were both doing, ngayon lang ulit siya nakapagonline etc. I asked him oo nga napansin ko nga minsan ka nalang nagbubukas ng FB (although may inkling ako na baka na hide lang niya ko sa chat niya kaya I won't now if he is online hahaha!). Pero he didn't responded to that and instead replied to a different topic.

Yesterday lang he was like his old self na talkative sa text and our conversation went on for hours. He messaged last night twice kahit na di ako nakasagot because I was already asleep.

So I was thinking baka ito na he will be the same guy he was before consistent and more chatty. But this morning when he greeted me good morning and I responded. Wala na ulit.

Kaya naisip ko i-pm tonight when I saw na online siya pero wala eh putol agad yung conversation. After awhile he texted ulit na if I had dinner na. I didn't reply so he sent another message to which I responded lang Yup. Then sigh ito yung prob sa akin minsan kahit na dapat di na ako makikipagcommute may times na I still do. Nagreply naman siya sabi kasama niya dalawa lang sila ng officemate na nagdidinner daw.

Sigh idk, lately it feels like he chooses when he wants to talk and when he doesn't feel like doing so. So I'm having doubts because it's long distance courtship so malay ko ba diba if talagang ganun ginagawa o sino kasama niya.

Sadly, instead of trusting him, it's the other way around pag nagfafalter siya sa pakikipag-usap. Pero pag katulad siya kahapon na bumabalik sa dati, medyo nagbibigay ako sa kanya ng benefit of a doubt.

Siguro I'm being stupid even if you guys tell me that you don't think you see this going anywhere good... I'm thinking na deal breaker na ultimate siguro ay if pumunta talaga siya sa Manila to visit me sa July. Pero pag hindi eh naku... Even if he does, I think he still needs a lot of work to do kasi mahirap din magLDR diba.

Pasensya na if medyo paulit ulit ako. Nacoconfuse lang din talaga ako lately sa kanya. I appreciate your POVs! :)

airish_2

  • Super GirlTalker
  • *****
  • Posts: 1757
  • You must do the things you think you cannot do.
Re: Is he losing interest?
« Reply #17 on: May 27, 2017, 10:24:51 pm »
I agree with other sis suggestion. Divert your attention to some other things, maybe you don't have to block or delete him in your contacts. Just go with the flow and date some other guys or date yourself. Like what you've said hindi mo rin maiwasan na hindi sya maitext despite sa pagiging mushroom nya.
We don't need more laws, we need implementation.

simang

  • Acts like a lady, thinks like a man.
  • Super GirlTalker
  • *****
  • Posts: 5849
Re: Is he losing interest?
« Reply #18 on: May 28, 2017, 12:10:19 am »
Sis remilicious, if he likes you, you won't be confused. He will make it clear na gusto ka nya, at hindi ka manghuhula if he will respond to you or not. If puntahan ka nya in July, and let's say maging kayo then... tapos ganun pa rin sya pasulpot sulpot lang, i'm sure di mo magugustuhan yun. Tappos syempre magdedemand ka na ng time kasi kayo na, magrereklamo at magtatampo ka na pag wala syang reply. tapos sasabihin nya, ganito na ko noon pa before pa maging tayo, bakit ngayon nagrereklamo ka na.

Ang dami na kasing red flags, eh pinupush mo pa din. Tapos magtataka ka bakit ganun sya pag boyfriend mo na.

Basta eto lang masasabi ko, alam mo naman na ang kahihinatnan nyan, you're just holding on to the possibility na baka magwork. Pero pag gusto ka kasi ng lalaki, it will work. No maybes.
...all adventurous women do.

HAYLEELOVE

  • GirlTalker
  • **
  • Posts: 71
Re: Is he losing interest?
« Reply #19 on: May 28, 2017, 03:26:18 am »
If you guys have plans to meet up, then probably continue the "casual" communication. Basta don't hope too much. Huwag mo kasing seryosin like pansin ko sayo parang you are clinging onto hope na maging kayo or maging serious siya sayo. He is testing the waters pa and that he is not really serious for you esp that you have not met in person (I assume di pa kayo nagkita? Or have you seen each other na ba?). I am sure you are on his list pero siguro nasa top 10 ka among the options. Just keep looking and enjoy the flow.
« Last Edit: May 28, 2017, 03:30:11 am by HAYLEELOVE »

 


Latest Stories

Load More Stories
Close