Is he losing interest?

[remilicious]

airish_2 Thanks sis true! Hahaha natawa ako sa mushroom term mo.

simang I appreciate your frank comments. Sometimes I just need to hear it to stop my stupidity.

HAYLEELOVE This is my problem nga "clinging onto hope". We'll see nalang what happens in a few months. We've actually met in person and that's how we first knew each other. But we both live in different places so now it has become a long distance thing.

Yes girls I'll should not limit myself to this guy especially if he is like this. Thanks to all who commented.

[Girltalker2]

 How do you deal with your situation na similar to mine, apart from going with the flow and loving yourself more?

By ignoring these types of guys.

What did he promise you ba why are you so clingy while wala naman commitment Yung guy sayo?

Why are you expecting and making him your only option samantalang nag eenjoy lang naman sya sa pagka binata nya (assuming he is not married talaga)

Yesterday lang he was like his old self na talkative sa text and our conversation went on for hours.

This 'old self' that you're referring to - maybe the times he is free to chat.
Whenever it's convenient.

but one thing is for sure - he is consistently inconsistent.

So I'm having doubts because it's long distance courtship so malay ko ba diba if talagang ganun ginagawa o sino kasama niya.

Are you sure it's courtship? Or Ikaw ang nanliligaw? Baka naman for him, friendship lang. worse if ever he gets to go to Manila to see you, Baka kausapin ka lang nya ng kausapin the whole day, at maging friends with benefits na agad kayo. Why do you think he wants to see you? To get to know you or just have sex and di na ulit magparamdam? Sa inaasta nya, may gana ka pa makipag meet sa ganyan klaseng lalaki?

Mukhang young ka pa naman, please have some standards. Are you desperate?

I'm thinking na deal breaker na ultimate siguro ay if pumunta talaga siya sa Manila to visit me sa July. Pero pag hindi eh naku... Even if he does, I think he still needs a lot of work to do kasi mahirap din magLDR diba.

What does a lot of work for you? Chatting all day?

Idk, Minsan kahit sandali lang kayo nag usap, alam mo may connection. Kaso if magdamag kayo mag usap Tapos nawawala wala, still superficial for me.

Tsaka, maybe it works for some, para sakin, I don't like LDR, Mas lalo pa sa getting to know stage LDR na agad. Ni walang oras makilatis if sinungaling iyan or mameet friends or family nya. Magiging bf mo na Pero ni di mo alam ang background.

[iwannabeasupermodel]

i guess sis TS will just have to learn it the hard way thru a bad experience and a broken heart lol.

anyway kung ganito ka-inconsistent, kawalang pakialam sayo, itetext ka lang pag wala na siyang makausap/magawang ibang bagay, idk where the hell you are getting this whole nasa courtship/LDR phase kayo idea.

when was your last relationship sis? feeling ko matagal na, you keep on clinging to garbage eh.
believe us when we tell you na if a guy likes you, gagawa at gagawa yan ng parang. nawawala in the middle of a conversation, di man lang mageeffort sa fb or anything online na sabihan ka na nawala na siyang load, one of the biggest red flag if there ever is one. then will disappear for 3 days without anything? tsk tsk. kahit ano pang trabaho/status ng lalaki, kayang kaya niyang lumabas para magpaload or what not, para man lang sabihan ka di ba. or sabihan ka man lang na paubos na load ko ha baka last text ko na to. i've dallied a bit of my time (dahil wala lang din akong magawa) with guys who i know for a fact are not that interested in me, but they have the courtesy to say naman na paubos na load nila or whatever, di naman as in mawawala na lang bula. sobrang rude kasi nun. just saying.

[Gaysha]

Tingin ko foreigner eto at sa chat sila nagka LDR? Correct me if I'm wrong. Kaya siguro di nya mabitawan. Kasi usually you know the economic benefits talaga pag LDR and foreigner ang involved. To this, dapat iconsider din yung culture and yung internet connectivity ng guy. Now if an affluent country, naku malabo na di mag online ever sa loob ng isang araw at di mag hello man lang. Pag ganun, di lang red flag yan.

[mimiku]

TS probably was really into this guy. I understand her naman since I've been in her shoes before. Hirap makawala lalo if the guy made a good impression. Hirap bumitaw sa HOPE. The way I see it, she's probably an introvert so ok lang sa kanya yung mga chat type communication.

Like I said, I've experienced the same thing. I was so hooked on with a guy but he lives kasi in the US. The rest of the story was similar to TS' guy. He slowly lost interest and went AWOL. Hahaha. But  turned out I probably was destined to be with another guy. After a few years, I met my husband. I reconnected with him online and look we are already married na. The only difference is that, my husband was so into me before. No black-out moments, straight ang communication namin. He was based abroad but every occasion my flowers, chocolates or cakes ako sa kanya ( and these flowers and chocolate hindi sila cheap ha? Yung mga tipong Equadorian roses and Patchi chocolates na mahal). Effort talaga si hubby ko sa akin before. Totally different from the guy TS is talking about.

But anyway, it really boils down into making other options. I decided to stop pining for that guy so I opened myself into another opportunity. This time, I made the right choice. So, Remilicious just don't lose hope. Believe me, God will send you a good guy in time. You just need to widen your options. Cheer up. Let go.

[remilicious]

Just to clear some things briefly before ending this topic since a lot has been said already.

mimiku Thanks for understanding and congrats for finally finding your other half! That's awesome! Your story is quite inspiring.

iwannabeasupermodel A couple of years ago. I closed myself from it all after a bad relationship. Btw, di ko naman inassume lang yung courtship / long distance courtship since sinabi niya manliligaw siya kahit malayo siya.

Gaysha No he's not a foreigner. He's Pinoy but lives in another province far from me.

Girltalker2 Yes he said that he's courting me. No I'm not desperate and super young either. I have standards and won't allow having none at all.

Just wanted some POVs. I think a lot has been given already so I'm ending already this topic. Thanks to those who've given their insights and different perspectives! Cheers to all!

[bea]

I know this thread has not been updated for a while but I'd like to express my appreciation to OP and to all who responded. Shocks. You guys don't know how you saved me (or my heart) for a possible heart break. I am kinda going thru the same thing.

I just came from a failed 5 yr relationship where I was practically a doormat. The guy treated me like trash so I had a low self-esteem. I didn't know how to get out of it, mistaking how I felt at that time for love.

I was resigned to being single forever, then this guy came along and somewhat brought me back to life. Even if we have very little in common- probably just physical attraction, I tried to give it a shot.
He lives far away and clearly at a different stage in his life but we hit it off. There were "sparks".

When I started to really like him, he slowly went into oblivion. Takes time to respond and appears to be merely responding for the sake of sending a response on chat. He does not call as much as he did. It was very apparent he's losing his interest. It should be easy for me to ditch and ignore him but as someone who have very low self esteem and low regard for herself, it was really difficult but I managed to soldier on leaving no broken pieces on my end.

One big factor is this thread that really helped me to think of myself and have some d*mn self respect!

Again, thanks everyone!

[Girltalker2]

Girltalker2 Yes he said that he's courting me. No I'm not desperate and super young either. I have standards and won't allow having none at all.

Good to have High standards.

If he said he is courting you and yet nawawala wala, Hindi ba he is just taking you for a ride?
Obviously if that's his definition of  Ligaw (if he is really doing it at di lang lip service), it definitely is not satisfactory as you're left confused.

One big factor is this thread that really helped me to think of myself and have some d*mn self respect!

Sis, that's so true!

And we should always remind ourselves that we didn't survive past heartaches just to fall into another trap again. We should learn from our past experiences.

Cheers in finding Mr Right!

[lesters_gal]

After a major heartbreak, i realized so many things. Madali lang pala i-decode ang mga lalaki. As simple as ABC, 123. Tayong mga girls lang kasi minsan ang nagpapa complicated ng mga bagay and giving false hope sa mga sarili naten kasi nga gusto naten sila that's why we justify things kahit na sampal na sampal na sa mga mukha naten ang mga red flags.

Ngyon i'm back in dating scene. I can say that I'm wiser and stronger now. Kung ayaw mo sa akin, ayoko rin sayo.  Or kahit gusto ko yung guy pero wala naman effort sa part niya, hindi rin ako nag eefort. Kasi what for? Tapos in the end ako naman ang kawawa kaya no way.

[amethyst028]

^true we girls over think things. we make everything an issue. guys are simple and they don't like it when we complicate things.

share ko lang. my bf and i don't text each other every day. sometimes we just exchange a few messages as in few like 2 messages in one day after not hearing from each other for 2 days. we are both very busy people.

in the beginning when everything was still new and exciting we would text from morning till night. when we finally got to a point where we are comfortable with each other our texting got lesser not because we don't like each other, it's because too much texting is not sustainable. even though we don't communicate on a daily basis we make it a point to see each other once or twice a week. when we are together we make sure our time together is quality. we try our best to make each other happy all the time.

i guess it all comes down to trust. if you trust your partner you can let him/her do his/her own thing without worrying that if you don't have constant communication they will cheat or replace you. we trust each other a lot, we even let each other hold our phones which now a days it's a big deal. haha!

[happie]

It feels sad sometimes that girls cling to false hopes hoping for their forever   I'm glad you have moved on sis. I do agree that guys can easily be decoded, we are just making excuses for them.

[MayVerona]

This guy, baka pampalipas oras ka lang. Pag maraming time, maraming text. Pag walang time, walang text. A serious pursuer will make you feel a priority rather than an option.

[sparklingjewel]

A guy who wants you will make a deliberate effort you can't doubt. Much has been said but it's as simple as that. It's so frustrating to see girls who invest so much time and emotions overanalyzing what it means if he's on and off or missed replying or if 3 days gap is too much... honestly!! If the guy doesn't miss you enough for that long you aren't on his mind talaga. He could have texted before work, after work, while on the way home, etc.  And don't sound so desperate, telling him these communication gaps made you reconsider and that you will now block him.. He doesn't need to know it affected you. Just fade away and find someone else.

[Gaysha]

^so true. I wholeheartedly agree with you and it is based on my recent personal experience. Minsan kasi we rationalize and still hold on to whatever little is left dahil minsan ayaw mong mag isa. Truth. You always a man in your life lol.

In a different light, super annoyed naman ako with my brother's GF. May mga babaeng ganun pa rin pala. Mawala lang saglit sa paningin or Communications nila, super call and text na. So clingy. My brother is still hanging on pero matagal na sila, wala lang siguro magustuhan bago, but i have a feeling na he will drop the girl like a hot potato kung makakita sya ng bago:).. Lesson in clingin-ess, bit***s!