RSVP and Guest Issues

[LilaFowler]

I'm sure most brides will have issues about this and because the bulk of the budget depends on how many guests you have, I thought we should have a thread on the issues we've encountered with guests and RSVP.

My RSVP due date was last week. Half of the guests still have not yet replied. This is after I have even stamped and addressed all the RSVP envelopes. All they have to do is tick yes or no on the RSVP card and put it in a mail box.

Some guests also exceeded the number of seats we have reserved for them - mother in law or sister in law needs to come.

Lastly, may mga nagvovolunteer na mag-attend? Like my grandparent's med tech (taga-kuha ng dugo) invited herself. I have never met her so I had to say no.

Any tips and tricks on how to entice guests to RSVP on time?

What did you do when the RSVP has more guests than allocated?

[exquisitegem]

Hi sis, based on our experience, for 200 guests, we invited 220. 180 confirmed. But on the wedding day, there are attendees who did not confirm. Though there are still those who confirmed on rsvp pero wala sila on the day of the wedding. So far, nakaupo naman lahat.

When we were still asking for confirmations, we sent each and everyone private message via fb or viber and finofollow up ko every now and then. And to those who confirmed, I reminded them 3 days before the wedding. There are those last minute magbabago isip kasi kaya dapat under radar namin yun.

[marywater]

In some weddings I help out, we ask the guests to confirm by telling them that we need their confirmation so we can already finalize and submit the table assignments and guest list to the hotel/reception venue and coordinator.

In some cases, the OTD coordinator is willing to help with the RSVP.

For us since there are only about 50-60 guests, we're still going to provide printed invitations, but we also sent an invite through a private event page on Facebook.

[shinies]

My RSVP due date was last week. Half of the guests still have not yet replied.

Abroad ba ito? Nung sa amin, kaya may mga matagal magreply eh may inaantay o nagchecheck pa sila ng schedule kung makakapunta sila.

Some guests also exceeded the number of seats we have reserved for them - mother in law or sister in law needs to come.

Anong sabi mo sa kanila?
Walang nagrequest sa amin ng ganito pero ang ugali ko kasi sabihin ko agad NO at kung bakit at sana eh maintindihan nila.

Lastly, may mga nagvovolunteer na mag-attend? Like my grandparent's med tech (taga-kuha ng dugo) invited herself. I have never met her so I had to say no.

Natawa ko dito pero oo nangyayari yan. Tama nga mag NO ka. Baka sinusubukan lang nun na pumayag ka?

Any tips and tricks on how to entice guests to RSVP on time?

What did you do when the RSVP has more guests than allocated?

Tag team kami ng coordinator mag-follow up sa kanila. Kami yung taga tanong simula nung nasend na yung mga invites (pag nagkita kami o kaya mass message ng reminder ganon) tapos si coordinator na nung malapit na date.

Kung sobra RSVP nila, kaya ko sabihin "Sorry, x seats lang talaga sa inyo kasi blah blah. Hope you understand/pag kinasal kayo you'll understand"

Pwede kasing lumobo pa lalo guest count kung papayag sa ganyan eh pag may budget ka na sinusunod, di pwede ganun..

[LilaFowler]

Half our guests overseas. We sent printed invites to everyone with an RSVP card and a stamped envelope with our address on it already. So talagang ilalagay lang nila sa mail box talaga.

We have 200 guests invited, 65 are attending. This is expected because it's a DW.

For the ones na may dagdag na guest, it depends kung sino. If kung sinong extra lang, I say no. If they've replaced one family member with another, I say ok since konti lang guests namin.

The good thing I think in our case is that we are having a DW. So walang biglang aattend or biglang di mag aattend kasi it requires planning.

Dapat ata may prize yung first 10 or 20 na mag RSVP to encourage a response or bubunutin sa RSVP cards na bumalik yung may prize. Hahaha.

[sophistique]

^ How do you respond  to those asking for plus ones?  Our wedding's in December and we have just sent out Save the Date cards. Around 7 close friends na yung nagtanong sa akin if they can bring their boyfriends/girlfriends. Our venue kasi is a vacation place kaya siguro yung iba, gusto isabay attend ng wedding plus weekend getaway.

They ask nicely naman with some saying, "I understand it's an additional expense but hopefully, you can consider." I am not close to their partners and I haven't even met some of them.

My current response goes like, "Hello, our venue can only handle x number of guests and our current list exceeds that number. I'll let you know if someone can't make it para we can add ___ to the list."

Can I direct them instead to the coordinator para sya magsabi sa kanila?

[LilaFowler]

I think if they are married or in a long term relationship, you have to allow a plus one.

If abay lang, I think you can just say no.

[rowan]

^^If they really want to bring their plus ones, maybe the plus ones can just attend the after party? Let them stay in their own hotels muna during the reception haha.

[LilaFowler]

If someone tells me that I will probably just decline.

If the couple thinks we're not close enough to have my husband/partner invited, then I'm not close enough to attend.

[mysterioza_me]

Kung ako ang guest maintindihan ko kung bakit hindi pwede ang gf/bf ko pero kung husband ko na tapos hindi pa din invited di na lang ako pupunta.

[exquisitegem]

sis sophistique, Okay din na sinabi mo that you still have to check if may seat na available pag may hindi nagconfirm para yun yung ibigay mo na slot sa kanila. Kasi when we were listing down our guests, lahat ng close friends ko na may bf/gf kahit hindi ko kaclose yung partners nila (others are working abroad, others are bago lang na karelasyon), I considered them kasi since outside metro manila yung wedding namin, they need someone to drive them along.
Ako kasi, sa mga hindi nagconfirm, binigay ko sa mga gf/bfs ng mga kaclose ko. Sooner or later, those gf/bfs will be part of your barkada na din pag kinasal sila.

I've learned from the experience nung friend ko na kinasal din before me. Kasi yung friend ko, super strict sa rsvp and number of guests, wala pa atang 50 yung umattend sa 150 na guests nya kasi yung iba wala kasama so walang nagdrive sa kanila kaya tinamad na rin siguro. as in parang kawawa kasi andaming vacant tables and seats

For those na may-asawa na, it's a must din for us na plus one agad sila.

[shinies]

"Hello, our venue can only handle x number of guests and our current list exceeds that number. I'll let you know if someone can't make it para we can add ___ to the list."

Can I direct them instead to the coordinator para sya magsabi sa kanila?

Ok naman na yan spiel mo pero mas mabuti na ikaw yung nagsasabi kesa coordinator dahil ibig sabihin yan na ang desisyon mo.



Sa kultura ng Pinoy kasi di uso yang "significant other" eh mas nanaig yung budget

Sa kasal namin, imbitado ang mga significant other kasi gusto namin celebration of love na pati love nila, hindi lang sa amin. Inclusive din yung program namin at yun din yung isa sa positive feedback na ngayon lang sila naka-attend ng kasal na importante din yung guests.

Pero, naka-attend na ako ng mga kasal na ako lang. Kadalasan sa mga kaopisina at ganun nga budget wedding o kaya hindi sobrang close kay mister. Siyempre ang mister ko naiinis pero bumabawi na lang ako sa kanya.
Nanggaling din naman ako sa wedding preps kaya naiintindihan ko din san nanggagaling mga couple to wed. Hindi porke di nila ginawang importante ang relasyon ko kay mister eh ganun din gawin ko sa kanila.

Kung may nagpupumilit, pwedeng compromise na magbayad sila nung additional pax nila tutal sila may gusto magsama

Yung mga ganyan, kanya kanya lang talaga eh. May mga taong naooffend at meron hindi.
Etiquette kasi na dapat kasama ang spouses kahit di mo close pero yun nga, depende sa couple kung susunod.

[sophistique]

Ok naman na yan spiel mo pero mas mabuti na ikaw yung nagsasabi kesa coordinator dahil ibig sabihin yan na ang desisyon mo.

Thank you, shinies! Nahihiya din ako na I'm making them feel na may wait list pa for the plus ones (akala mo naman event of the year ). The venue is really significant for us, that's why we really wanted to get married there. Kaso yun nga, it can only accommodate 250 guests or so and right now, our list has 262.

Sa married friends, automatic counted spouses nila. I also thought of the guests na walang kilalang other guests because they might feel uneasy naman and end up not attending the wedding. 

[Carlyndj]

My take on the guest issues is kapag  na meet ko na yung mga significant others nila then for 2 na pero kung hindi then 1 lang.

My dilemma naman sa invites is this. Recently, i had a falling out with one of my friend's gf pero ok kami ni friend. Lahat ng other friends namin sinasabi na for 1 nalang ang seat. And the other thing is i have a group of friends na magkakapatid sila as in halos isang buong baranggay na magkapatid but they when some of the magkakapatid got married, i wasnt invited eh sa wedding ko there is this only one sister na im close to. My bff na guy whos part of our friends told me that its ok not to invite the others pero hindi ba awkward yun? Even h2b said they didnt invite you so why invite them. Parang awkward lang kasi and baka mamaya mag ask na bat hindi sila na invite eh si kapatid na invite. I cant lie naman na i forgot them😂

[marywater]

Usually pag ganyan, in case they ask, I tell them na yung friend na yun ang representative for the group; tapos I tell them meet na lang kaming lahat on another date after the wedding for a small separate celebration (simple and casual lang).

[hisana]

^^
Agree naman ako kay bff and hubby-to-be. Kahit siguro yung uninvited maiintindihan nila kung hindi sila invited...it's the same decision  they made when they chose not to invite you, di ba. Baka pwede nga na sabihin representative na lang yung isa, and that medyo hindi na lang talaga ma-accommodate lahat, hehe.

[Carlyndj]

Thanks mga sis. Sana nga ganun kadali. 😂 One of them asked me na nga if they are invited ba daw😂 Bahala na. The guest lists are not yet final pa naman and kapag hindi sila na invite ok lang kasi i will not be based here na after the wedding. Yun lang makakarinig ka ng chismis and one of the husband is very vocal😂

[Ocarina1]

Hello mga sis!

Actually, h2b and I are mentally and emotionally preparing for this.
Our possible biggest problem will be my mum kasi gusto nya invited lahat ng nasa side nya like what she did on my debut, which was okay lang naman since sila ang nagbayad ng debut ko.
But it?s different this time kasi kami ni h2b ang magbabayad. and yung mum?s side of the fam are all in visayas so ayokong magbayad ng airfare para lang makapunta sila. We are on a budgetarian wedding for practical reasons.

A b2b friend also shared this dilemma with me. original nila is 200 invited guests. The mother wanted to invite si ganito and si ganyan kaya nag bulk to 280 guests na sila and di na nya alam kung san kukunin yung pambayad kahit nagbigay ang mum nya (na di kasya) ng stipend.

A recently married friend did this, which I find a good idea. Mag set daw ng tiers:
Tier 1: close friends and family na iinvite mo talaga and you won?t be happy without. Sila ang importante.
Tier 2: medyo close friends and family na iinvite mo in case may friend or family from tier1 na di makakapunta.

I know we?ll lose a lot of friends sa ganito, actually we don?t mind kasi we know who we want to be in our wedding and eventually in our lives.

Nag decide na rin ako na di magtanong sa mga kinasal kong friends kasi one of them, inimbitahan yung sarili nya kaya kami ni h2b nag virtual tinginan (LDR kami) and pikit mata kunwari wala kaming narinig/nabasa.

About my mum, singilin ko sya ng per head para sa mga gusto nya iinvite or patigasan na lang kami. Haha.

[shinies]

Bakit mag expect kung di naman kayo invited nung sila kinasal?

Kasal niyo yan, dun kayo sa kung ano magpapasaya sa inyo 😉

[Carlyndj]

Thanks. For now ayoko na mina isipin. Everytime naiisip ko sumasakit ulcer ko😂