Got questions regarding men? Post it here! (Thread 9)

[kvandenhaak]

I have a question... actually madami na din nagssabi sakin and nagaadvice sakin regarding this. sa start ng dating diba, don?t show too much interest agad daw.. in the aspect of texting/calling/videocall or whatever ang tanong ko. Last guy I dated sinabihan ako ng ?easy? dahil daw mabilis ako magreply, mahaba magreply, and pag inaya mag call G agad.. I just wanna know, so dapat ba if guys text me wag ko replyan? if guys want to call me wag? and if yes, may right frame of time ba ang pagrreply? Lol like text ako today bukas na magreply? And pag tatawagan ako wag na ko makipagusap? Hahaha. Any suggestions?

I don't understand why we girls have to play hard to get...lol! Pareho tayo, pag nag-text I reply right away at mahaba rin ako mag-text. But sometimes, we have to so I agree, don't make yourself too available. Refrain from initiating text as much as possible especially in the beginning. But don't make it too obvious though that you are nagpapakipot. Minsan reply ka agad and sometimes, ipagpabukas mo na unless it's really urgent.

[mysterioza_me]

Kasi kapag di nagpakipot maski konti iisipin ?easy? tulad na din ng sabi ng nagtanong. Kaya konting pakipot lang din kasi baka isipin di interested. Wag lang yung gigil na gigil na pagmessage agad magrereply. Ang sabi nga ng guy friend ko dyan ?halatang gutom sa lalake?

[kvandenhaak]

^Ang harsh naman to say gutom sa lalake... LOL! 😁 Like in my case, I reply like I normally would with friends and family. But I guess that's the rule of the game. Girls are expected to keep it together. With my current guy, I don't text unless he doesn't kahit isang buwan pa yan.. LOL! 😁

[mysterioza_me]

^True. Napaka-harsh pero what to expect madalang ang lalake na sensitive.

[sacred cow]

meron naman kasing sakto lang, hindi naman to the point na kapag hindi nagparamdam si guy, hindi ka na rin magpaparamdam. Guys don't want it din if the girl keeps on playing games, simple lang ang lalake...kung ang pinapakita ng girl is hindi interested, then he would look for a girl that is more interested.

[itsmeangel]

Thanks for your inputs, I have yet to master the art of pakipot pero konti lang haha! I agree harsh nga yung dating pero galing na rin sa mga guys yan so I guess yun talaga ang tingin nila if di ka magpakipot ng konti

[Girltalker2]

I don?t see any reason not to be yourself when it comes to texting.
Sakin I reply when I reply. Kasi if I don?t, I would definitely forget to reply!

Pero pagdating sa words and action, yes siguro pakipot ako. Tipong I won?t say I really really like him etc but I will tell him I enjoyed our date this evening. Period. Short and simple. He gets the message.

Then Pag dates naman, no akbayan coz we are just friends. I make that clear. I also date others, so hindi lang sa kanya ang attention ko. But I go out with him because I?m interested to get to know him and see what he has to offer and at the same time for him to know me and assess if he really likes me as he initially thought. I don?t like kissing as well. But if he is cute, maybe beso beso after date to appreciate his efforts 😁

Most importantly, I assess myself. Ayoko Super like ko sya then like lang nya ko. Sino ba sya. And this situation will make you look easy if you start liking him more. So be careful not to fall too easily.

meron naman kasing sakto lang, hindi naman to the point na kapag hindi nagparamdam si guy, hindi ka na rin magpaparamdam.

Ito depende. May 1 Guy I dated he said he would call again but he didn?t. So deadma. Since I?m not that into him, potential 2nd date lang, so nvm.

But when I like a guy, then Di nagparamdam, minsan pa simple ako ba how are you? Tapos fwd/comment on some news or common friend we have etc. But if dead Ma sya, dito nako magstop. Point is, I keep conversations open if I am interested but I don?t show too much interest if I don?t get the response I want.

[Shadow Angel]

Di ko rin gets bakit need mag pakipot ako straight ako kausap kung sasabihan ako ng easy idrodrop ko na un guy mas gusto pala nya nagsasayang muna ng oras or pahard to get. para sa akin un mga easy to get un sex agad unang meet pa lang or kahit wala pang relationship with the guy. Kahit marami ako nakadate si ex at kay husband lang ako bumigay.

So dapat pala pag nag message sya di mo agad replyan? Parang ewan lang kung may time ka magreply bakit di mo rereply? Naku ayaw ko ng ganyan lalaki daming cheche bureche sa buhay.

[kvandenhaak]

^Eh sa Pinoy culture kasi ganyan...lol! Pag mga foreigners, they are more open minded. Some of them likes the idea of girls initiating. But it boils down to how you play hard to get. I personally don't play hard to get, sayang sa oras...lol! But I don't meet right away with guys. Let's talk and know each other muna. So, usually the guy initiates the talk in the early stage of dating. By the time I agree to meet, I'm pretty decided that I already like the guy. If we meet and the connection is strong then to heck with pagpapakipot. During the relationship, pwede pa rin namang magpakipot. It just boils down to how interested the guy in you. Pag di ka type, he won't try to connect. Pag gusto ka, he will.

[Shadow Angel]

^yap kaya feeling ko di swak ang personality ko sa mga pinoy or nakadate ko before na pinoy, completely opposite thinking sa kanila. Surely di lahat ng pinoy ganun nagkataon lang ganyan pinoy ang mga nakadate ko before besides foreigner talaga ang gusto ko sila un mas madali ko nakakausap about sa point of view ko sa buhay.

[mysterioza_me]

True sis iba culture ng foreigner. Ang Pinoy mahilig sa delaying tactics hanggang sa relationship naiconnect ang pagdedelay. Personaly ako kapag nagpaparamdam or ligaw pa lang tamad-tamaran ako magreply. Pero di ako ang type na nagpapatagal ng ligawan ng taon. With my latest bf 1 month or 1.5mos lang ata na ligawan kasi evemtually mas makilala mo siya kapag nagkarelasyon kayo. Saka sa edad pa ba namin magpapakipot pa ako, susko ah. Pero first few months namin tamad-tamaran pa din ako magreply and madalas nakakatulugan ko siya sa call pero matyaga talaga siya, medyo takot pa kasi ako na super mag-invest ng feelings niyan lol.

[kvandenhaak]

^OA naman kasi yung isang taon na ligawan...lol! I think sa isang buwan naman alam mo na sa sarili if you like the guy or you are willing to give him a chance. Unfair din sa guy to string him along kung wala namang aasaan. That's where I don't understand the pagpapakipot culture. Para lang ba hindi masabihang easy to get? Etong mga lalake talaga minsan parang hindi napapansin na 2018 na. And I agree, you will only know the guy better if you are in a relationship. Guys generally always put their best foot forward when wooing a girl. And like I said, you can still play hard to get kahit kayo na.

Anyways, back to question of our sister. There's something called balance naman. Wag sobrang pakipot, wag rin sobrang atat...lol!

And with that saying, ang tanong ko sa mga guys. Alin ba talaga gusto nyo, yung pakipot or yung straight forward? Isa lang piliin nyo. You can't have your cake and eat it too! Ang dami nyong demands sa mga babae pero kakaliwain nyo lang naman in the end. Sus, don't me!

[Shadow Angel]

Agree ako dyan sa mas makikilala mo kapah karelation mo na unless ang gusto mo talaga pang matagalan munang friendship. Basta ako type at may qualities ako nakita na gusto ko talaga di ko na patatagalin pa.

[lalee888]

I share the same viewpoint as sis shadow angel -- if it doesn't work for me, bye bye. When I was dating, I knew what I wanted and i was not going to waste time.

I also agree that courtship/friendship is not the same as relationship. But the reverse is also true -- the length of time you court/date does not necessarily determine the strength/success of a marriage.

To your point sis about "pakipot" and not being easy.. all I can say is these things are all signs/symptoms that we gauge others' based on our personal standard of desirability. In general men and women both like confidence in their partners. Someone sure of themselves (not insecure) and have a focus in life. Usually a sign of this is someone with a passion in life, and usually busy working toward that passion. When they are "busy" with that, they are not so caught up with trying to find a mate. So when they constantly reply to a suitor -- it looks cute and not desperate. It looks as though "wow this super busy girl replies to me so quickly, despite being busy, she must really like me, I'm flattered"

If someone doesn't exude confidence, or security, we can smell that, it's a psychological thing. So we sorta sense that in our interactions with them.

At the same time sis, just be yourself. If a guy told you that, I can only guess he already thinks less of you and if I were you, drop him. If I guy truly likes you, he will find the things you do during the early part of  dating CUTE. Your constant texting? He'd think it is cute and adorable. Him thinking you're too eager means he sees that as a sign of weakness on your part, which could be an early manifestation of what failed couples experience -- contempt for another.

Be yourself sis. And be with someone who appreciates the best version of yourself, and doesn't mind the worst version of yourself.

[mysterioza_me]

Basta ako type at may qualities ako nakita na gusto ko talaga di ko na patatagalin pa.

True sis. Dapat physically attracted ako sa kanya at may something kami in common, kapag ganyan pak na yan.

[glamorosa_09]

I have a question... actually madami na din nagssabi sakin and nagaadvice sakin regarding this. sa start ng dating diba, don?t show too much interest agad daw.. in the aspect of texting/calling/videocall or whatever ang tanong ko. Last guy I dated sinabihan ako ng ?easy? dahil daw mabilis ako magreply, mahaba magreply, and pag inaya mag call G agad.. I just wanna know, so dapat ba if guys text me wag ko replyan? if guys want to call me wag? and if yes, may right frame of time ba ang pagrreply? Lol like text ako today bukas na magreply? And pag tatawagan ako wag na ko makipagusap? Hahaha. Any suggestions?

In relation to what sis lalee said...

I guess... issue na nung guy na yun na sinabihan kang easy ka... paano kung personality mo ang mabilis at mahaba mag-reply... I have a girl friend na ganun... mapa ako or si hubby ang kausap nya ganun sya magreply... Be real na lang, kung hindi ka tanggap, eh di hindi ka tanggap.

Challenge lang ang daldal ng dating, ang hubby ko kasi na-ooverwhelm sa friend ko.  Tanggap naman sya ng husband nyang madaldal sya... although minsan pag may pinapaedit yung friend ko sa husband nya, sasabihin ng husband na "pwedeng maging straight to the point yung message mo?'
 
pero anong meron sa ganung pag-rereply mo? personality mo ba yun o dahil ataters ka? Kung personality mo yun, magpakatotoo ka na lang, hindi ka naman siguro irereject dahil lang ang dami mo sinasabi. And if he does, he's not for you. Some personality naman will get attracted sa madaldal.

Kung atat ka naman, I agree to just strike a balance, enough to let him know you're interested para may hope naman sya. If you have a strong liking of the person, for me, enough nang huwag mong ilantad. Kunwari nagmessage sya, nagtatatalon ka sa tuwa, pero yung reply mo, cool lang. Tapos pag kayo na, saka mo sunggaban. More of self-control which is different from pag-papakipot, na kunwari ayaw pero gusto.

[argento]

I have yet to master the art of pakipot

wag ka na magpakipot hindi na uso yan. men dont like pakipots mga paasa lang yan.

[Apple1230]

I have a question... actually madami na din nagssabi sakin and nagaadvice sakin regarding this. sa start ng dating diba, don?t show too much interest agad daw.. in the aspect of texting/calling/videocall or whatever ang tanong ko. Last guy I dated sinabihan ako ng ?easy? dahil daw mabilis ako magreply, mahaba magreply, and pag inaya mag call G agad.. I just wanna know, so dapat ba if guys text me wag ko replyan? if guys want to call me wag? and if yes, may right frame of time ba ang pagrreply? Lol like text ako today bukas na magreply? And pag tatawagan ako wag na ko makipagusap? Hahaha. Any suggestions?

well sa tingin ko it's not about how quick you reply or G agad sa call. guys like girls who have a lot going for them ayaw nila yung parang naka tunganga ka lang kaya pag tumawag or nag text reply agad. kahit hindi ka ganon yun ang perception nila.

pag nag text wait a few minutes lalo na kung busy ka, and sa conversation they can sense kung ano ba mga pinag gagawa mo sa buhay mo. kung productive ba or time wasters lang. balance lang dapat don't be too eager and don't be too out of reach either. just do your own thing and make the man feel he is welcome sa buhay mo pero hindi siya ang center. 

[ashonlush]

Paano malaman na bitter sa iyo ang guy? Or should i say di pa totally naka move on sayo?

[adrianne1]

^ Hindi pa nakakamove-on si guy when he keeps texting or calling even after you've broken up.