Author Topic: Got questions regarding men? Post it here! (Thread 9)  (Read 130404 times)

argento

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Re: Got questions regarding men? Post it here! (Thread 9)
« Reply #240 on: March 19, 2018, 08:19:39 pm »
^kung may restrictions then most likely the guy will not flirt or make landi for fear of losing his job or be scandalized.

pag type: game makipagflirt
hindi type: sexual harrasment    :)

Quote
If a guy likes you he will be very obvious

not really.

NeilRudecat

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Re: Got questions regarding men? Post it here! (Thread 9)
« Reply #241 on: March 20, 2018, 10:52:39 am »
Maraming guys na flirting lang...para maka-score.   Mga pa-fall hehe.

Basically, kailangan lang natin maging conscious at sensitive sa non-verbal communication:  Sa galaw ng mata, sa kilos, sa content ng sinasabi.  Ang lalaking seryoso at totoong interested sa buong pagkatao mo (at hindi lang sa pagka-babae mo at sexual advantages or benefits)...ay magiging consistent.  Sa pakikinig niya sa sinasabi mo...naka-lean forward siya sa iyo at naka-focus sa pakikinig sa iyo.  Gusto nyang malaman at lahat sa iyo, lalo na ang pamilya at mga kaibigan mo.

Aliw mag-observe ng non-verbal communication.  Minsan mauupo lang ako sa food court ng isang mall titingin lang sa paligid.  Kitang-kita ang mga guys na flirting lang hahaha.



Quote
Flirting

A great example of nonverbal communication?and the misunderstandings that can result from it?is the way people behave when they intentionally want to attract attention and to communicate their interest in others. If a woman wishes to be approached in a college bar, she's likely to look around the room, move to the music, and run her fingers through her hair (Cunningham & Barbee, 2008). But women don't like to be approached by men who haven't already caught their eye, so men need to get women to notice them. Taking up a lot of space, having an open posture, and touching other men (but not being touched in return) are all signs of high status that make a man stand out in a group. And men who behave this way?and who are frequently glancing around to see who's looking their way?are more likely to share a moment of eye contact with a woman that leads to some conversation (Renninger et al., 2004).

Then, if they begin to flirt, both men and women tend to smile more, move closer, gaze longer, and touch their partners more often than they do when they are less eager to stimulate others? interest (Moore, 2010). Their speech is more animated, involving more laughter and fewer silences, and their voices sound warmer. And coupled with these signals of interest and immediacy may be particular expressions such as a head cant, pouting mouth, and coy look that are fairly unique (Canterberry et al., 2011). Together, these enticing actions clearly signal one's desire for continued interaction with a new partner.

Behavior that is merely flirtatious differs from behavior that is straightforwardly seductive. Actions that are intended to convey sexual interest involve even more eye contact, smiling, and touching, more intimate paralanguage, and smaller interpersonal distances than friendly flirtatiousness does (Koeppel et al., 1993). But the distinction is often lost on men, who tend to misread women's signals more often than women misunderstand men's meanings. Men often see sexual overtones in the friendly behavior they receive from women, and women who intend their actions to be fun, frivolous, and festive (but nothing more) run a constant risk of being misunderstood. On the other hand, women who are sending sexual signals may be misunderstood, too, being thought to be merely friendly. Guys make both kinds of mistakes (Farris et al., 2008) because they're just not as good at reading others, on average, as women are (Brody & Hall, 2010). C'est la vie.

Source:
Intimate Relationships by Rowland S. Miller, 2015

« Last Edit: March 20, 2018, 02:37:39 pm by NeilRudecat »

oshiawase

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Re: Got questions regarding men? Post it here! (Thread 9)
« Reply #242 on: March 20, 2018, 08:42:53 pm »
Ang hirap naman ng tanong... Di ko rin masagot. Anong klaseng landi ba yan?

Halimbawa, meeting sa school work/office. After ng meeting, you stayed sa table pero lahat umalis na. Tapos after a few seconds bumalik si guy para makipag-joke sayo. Ganun.

powaqa

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Re: Got questions regarding men? Post it here! (Thread 9)
« Reply #243 on: March 25, 2018, 12:57:53 pm »
Hi, men of FN.. Just want to know your thoughts.. I met a guy online and we've been chatting for 2 and a half months. Everyday chat to which lasts for hours - 4 hours and more. Andami naming pinag-usapan, we even shared about past relationships, current woes and issues, minsan mga bagay na we only shared with a couple of people. He even took the time to tell me about his business like kung anong ginagawa nya at kung anong mga balak nya in the future na gawin sa business nya. Anyway, he's American, multiracial but he identifies as black. Then one day, siguro dahil sa very comfortable na ako sa kanya may nasabi ako where I meant for it as a joke but he took it personally. He was offended even thinking na I meant to hurt him. I explained that I did not intend to hurt him and that I was unaware dun sa real meaning of the slang terms I used. At that moment narealize ko na na-fall ako sa kanya. I told him about my feelings but he hasn't replied yet. It's been 2 days na.. I want to know how does one usually feel or think or react knowing that a girl fell for them?
Another thing, kung nasaktan man ang ego or nakantsawan kayo sa bagay na sensitive kayo, is that enough reason to just cut someone out of your life?

Girltalker2

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Re: Got questions regarding men? Post it here! (Thread 9)
« Reply #244 on: March 25, 2018, 07:19:55 pm »
^ I?m not a guy, but usually sa pagkakaalam ko they run away if they?re not serious. Meaning if Di sila seryoso, then you told him you are falling for him, tendency iiwas iyan.

Kaya for me, sa getting to know you stage palang, I make sure I don?t fall for him first, and If ever I start liking him na, never ko aaminin. Kung masabi ko man, casual lang na tipong, I enjoyed your company. Yun lang.

powaqa

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Re: Got questions regarding men? Post it here! (Thread 9)
« Reply #245 on: March 25, 2018, 09:19:23 pm »
^ I?m not a guy, but usually sa pagkakaalam ko they run away if they?re not serious. Meaning if Di sila seryoso, then you told him you are falling for him, tendency iiwas iyan.

Napaisip din ako at one point kung talagang seryoso sya.. may mga kwento sya na sensitive or confidential tipong 2 or 3 people lang daw nakakaalam plus nagshare din sya insider knowledge about his business including photos minsan nasabi din nya paano yung processo nung mga ginagawa nya like sharing yung mga convos with freelancers na hinahire nya. I know he's honest because the things he said about himself checked out when I did my in-depth research (you know what I mean lol) even the sequences of these checks out.. skeptic ako sa first few weeks but then everyday na kadalasan 6-8 hrs chatting tapos ang hahaba ng mga messages nya na feeling ko nagbabasa ako ng nobela lol..

^
Kaya for me, sa getting to know you stage palang, I make sure I don?t fall for him first, and If ever I start liking him na, never ko aaminin. Kung masabi ko man, casual lang na tipong, I enjoyed your company. Yun lang.

I guess that was my mistake I didn't guard my feelings.. or may mga qualities lang talaga sya na gusto ko kaya it was easy to fall for him.. But it's a lesson learned and thanks for the tip!

TomHansen

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Re: Got questions regarding men? Post it here! (Thread 9)
« Reply #246 on: March 25, 2018, 10:03:00 pm »
^^ if 2 days pa lang give him time pa para mag-isip isip kasi hindi lang yung nasabi mong slang word kung hindi pati feelings niya for you ang pinagiisipan niya. Siguro give him 3 more days pa saka ka magmessage ulit kapag wala pa ring reply wag mo na lang kulitin, ibig lang sabihin di ka niya ganun kagusto. If mahalaga para sa kanya yung 2 1/2months na pinagsamahan niyo magrereply yan, kung hindi ibig sabihin hindi..

Wag kang magagalit ha pero maaari din kasing hindi ka niya type maging gf at naghihintay na lang siya ng reason para "mag-exit" sa friendship niyo. Matagal na kayong nag-uusap ano bang gut feel mo sa kanya kapag naguusap kayo, halata bang type ka niya? malambing ba?

Re:Ego, if mature na yung tao hindi dapat yun reason para i cut off mo na yung taong nakasakit sayo lalo mababaw lang dahilan. Accept that nobody's perfect, lahat nagkakamali masaktan man ego niya o hindi..
 

kvandenhaak

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Re: Got questions regarding men? Post it here! (Thread 9)
« Reply #247 on: March 26, 2018, 06:28:33 am »
Did you call him Nigger or Negro? That's a really offensive. I once was chatting with a white American and I joked about him being from Trumpland. He took it very seriously and became a different person. He became hostile and threatened me. Masyado silang passionate about politics and even families nahahati because of their political views. You have to be political correct dealing with them especially some that are overboard.

otra_vez

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Re: Got questions regarding men? Post it here! (Thread 9)
« Reply #248 on: March 26, 2018, 08:36:30 am »
powaqa: do you guys live apart from each other? i mean, are you in the philippines and he's in the us?

agree with kvandenhaak. you really need to be careful with the jokes. aside from the possible offense that the jokes can cause, it's also that he possibly viewed that as being overly familiar. when you are established friends, you can get away with a lot of things. but someone that he only knew for 2 months and online, that's not really a comfortable situation yet.

you also have to think of it from his point of view: he has not met you and if you are in a long distance thing here, i hate to say it but most likely, he's not looking for this to develop into anything serious. americans tend to be more pragmatic. i'll give you an example: i have a friend who was relentlessly pursued by someone for a few months then they started dating, only to have him dump her when he realized how many freeways it took to get to her place. things like that happen. i can not tell you how many potential romances eventually die from logistical reasons.

to top it all off, admitting that you have fallen for him possibly pushed him farther away. because from his perspective (mine too, to be perfectly honest)-- it is too fast to say you've fallen in love with someone you haven't even met yet and it's only been 2 months. i think that's it for him. you're not likely to hear from him again.

overall, just chalk it up to lesson learned. next time, try to invest your time on people who you have a much better chance of actually meeting in person.

powaqa

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Re: Got questions regarding men? Post it here! (Thread 9)
« Reply #249 on: March 27, 2018, 03:38:11 pm »
@kvandenhaak - lol di naman yung n word.

@kvandenhaak, @TomHansen, @otra_vez - Thank you all for your opinions. I appreciate outside-the-box insights, helps me understand things.

I haven't fully processed my feelings yet actually - I fell for him yes but why despite his many issues di pa ako masyado nagreflect dun. ATM I'm busying myself with work kasi ayoko muna maramdaman yung sobrang pangmimiss and sadness.

He has very strong opinions on current issues. There are things he shared with me na hindi daw nya basta basta nasasabi sa mga friends nya or he can't even post on socmed dahil nga dun sa pwedeng samahan ng loob pag differing opinions. He has issues with his parents and friends. Anlalim ng galit nya sa dad nya dahil may mga ginawa yung dad nya kaya bumagsak yung business nya at hindi rin sya pinakitaan ng pagmamahal. Galit din sya sa nanay nya dahil enabler daw sya. He cut ties with some of his friends kasi hindi sila nagkakasundo sa isa pang business na pinatayo nila at tsaka toxic daw yung iba.  Siguro yun yung isang reason kung bakit naging too familiar ako, I felt too comfortable kasi may mga sinasabi sya na if it was me talking I would only tell my bestfriend. Kwinento nya pati tungkol sa mga ex nya who cheated on him mala J Springer.

Sabi nya he can't be in a relationship with someone who lives close kasi it won't work out with him spending too much time at work. There were statements minsan sya na parang looking forward to meet one day in the future.. like "....(blah blah blah)..when we meet"

Anyway, mukhang di pa naman nya ako dinedelete sa skype contacts nya kasi kita ko pa status nya..
But then I'm not hoping that much and if he does contact me again I'm not too sure kung gusto ko rin ituloy.. Will have some self - reflection one of these days..



iam_me

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Re: Got questions regarding men? Post it here! (Thread 9)
« Reply #250 on: March 31, 2018, 04:27:59 pm »
need ur POV guys, ano reason nyong mga guys bakit nag unfriend at mam blocked kayo Ng ex nyo SA fb ok naman breakup .

mysterioza_me

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Re: Got questions regarding men? Post it here! (Thread 9)
« Reply #251 on: April 01, 2018, 04:57:35 am »
^Di ako guy pero mga reasons na alam ko:
1. Ayaw ni current gf na friends pa din si bf and ex-gf or may update pa via socmed. Baka kasi magkaroon ng spark uli lol.
2. Si ex-bf ayaw niya na makakita ng pageemo ni gf or papansin moves like ex-gf posting emo quotes, single quotes, pagpopost ng mga nakabikini na photos, feeling happy etc.

kvandenhaak

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Re: Got questions regarding men? Post it here! (Thread 9)
« Reply #252 on: April 01, 2018, 05:29:32 am »
^Or if he's the one having difficulty moving on, he'd rather not see her at all even in social media.

mysterioza_me

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Re: Got questions regarding men? Post it here! (Thread 9)
« Reply #253 on: April 01, 2018, 05:47:06 am »
^Tama para maka-move on din agad

Girltalker2

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Re: Got questions regarding men? Post it here! (Thread 9)
« Reply #254 on: April 01, 2018, 08:30:41 am »
need ur POV guys, ano reason nyong mga guys bakit nag unfriend at mam blocked kayo Ng ex nyo SA fb ok naman breakup .

1. Same here, Tingin ko ayaw ng current gf friends parin kayo

2. May pinopirmahan na ayaw nya makita nung girl mga past pics nyo together

Evolet027

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Re: Got questions regarding men? Post it here! (Thread 9)
« Reply #255 on: April 01, 2018, 09:50:39 pm »
need ur POV guys, ano reason nyong mga guys bakit nag unfriend at mam blocked kayo Ng ex nyo SA fb ok naman breakup .

OR

si current GF talaga nag unfriend and block sayo. I did that before.  ;)

argento

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Re: Got questions regarding men? Post it here! (Thread 9)
« Reply #256 on: April 02, 2018, 08:57:16 pm »
ano reason nyong mga guys bakit nag unfriend at mam blocked kayo Ng ex nyo SA fb

mas ok kasi kung  hindi na makipag friends sa ex. and its the right thing to do.

shinies

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Re: Got questions regarding men? Post it here! (Thread 9)
« Reply #257 on: April 03, 2018, 06:01:11 pm »
mas ok kasi kung  hindi na makipag friends sa ex. and its the right thing to do.

Gusto ko to! Karamihan nagsasabi na pwede naman daw maging friends ang magex. At may pinagsamahan daw kasi.

Sino dito totoo friend lang ang ex? Walang kahit ano?

itsmeangel

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Re: Got questions regarding men? Post it here! (Thread 9)
« Reply #258 on: April 08, 2018, 01:57:01 am »
I have a question... actually madami na din nagssabi sakin and nagaadvice sakin regarding this. sa start ng dating diba, don?t show too much interest agad daw.. in the aspect of texting/calling/videocall or whatever ang tanong ko. Last guy I dated sinabihan ako ng ?easy? dahil daw mabilis ako magreply, mahaba magreply, and pag inaya mag call G agad.. I just wanna know, so dapat ba if guys text me wag ko replyan? if guys want to call me wag? and if yes, may right frame of time ba ang pagrreply? Lol like text ako today bukas na magreply? And pag tatawagan ako wag na ko makipagusap? Hahaha. Any suggestions?

mysterioza_me

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Re: Got questions regarding men? Post it here! (Thread 9)
« Reply #259 on: April 08, 2018, 08:03:47 am »
^Dont make yourself too available. Pakipot ka ng konti. With my current bf nung hindi pa kami, pagnagpm or call siya di ko agad sinasagot. Sasagutin ko lang kapag wala na akong gagawin, so most likely kapag nagpapaantok na ako. Kaya madalas nakakatulugan ko nalang din pagrereply sa kanya. Kaya pagnagreply na ako siya ang G na G kasi matagal siyang naghihintay.

 

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