Re: Worse wedding you experienced/seen (Part 3)

[jajamom]

Ako rin bilang manilena eh shocked talaga ako nung first time maka attend ng wedding sa batangas, as in iisa isahin banggitin yung mga bisita if nagbigay na ba with the mention of the amount given, tapos naalala ko paalis na kami eh in-announced pa sa mike na "oh yung mga taga maynila dyan, nakapagbigay na na ba"...habang papalabas kami ng gate nun ah pero since taga province si hubby eh nasanay na rin ako eventually sa tradition nila, merong maiintindihan mo pero merong ding parang awkward sa panghihingi

[tsenes05]

kaya nga mga sis. na shocked din talaga kami. and to think na part ako ng entourage (meaning close kami talaga). pag naaalala nga namin yun napapailing / ngisi nalang kami.

haha... yung pinsan nyang taga-duon din na close namin nagsasabi na samin na papakasal na din sya... kinakantyawan nalang naming na pag sa Quezon ulit ang place, pass na kami. 

[LilaFowler]

^ I don't think literally pang diapers.

I wonder if same reaction din ng iba nilang guest na taga doon. Kasi if that's normal for them, malamang cultural difference lang rather than money grabbing yung couple.

[Chili1113]

Personally, I think money should never be involved in a wedding. Whether in the form of a money dance, money tree, money train or any activity that implies that you are asking for money from the guests! It is just BAD MANNERS plain and simple. Kahit anong tradition pa yan or what, common sense will dictate that it is just in bad taste. I am sure the most respectable families in any province will not practice those traditions even if it is common in their hometown.

[ayi0119]

Medyo OT: about asking for money.

Napaisip tuloy ako about my own wedding.

We didn't ask for money directly. Sabi lang namin sa invitation, kung magbibigay sila, we prefer money as a gift. In poetic approach pa nga para nice naman yun pagkasabi.

[twelvth_goddess]

Some Filipinos have just found it acceptable to take advantage of merry social gatherings to ask for tacky things like money. There's this mindset na kelangan makabawi sa expenses ng wedding.

[tsenes05]

^ yes, some couples and their families are like that. kaya padamihan din minsan ng ninong/ninang ang peg.

For me, ok lang siguro if may isang part na may money dance if "tradition" talaga. pero wag naman sana yun ang highlight ng event talaga.

[Tincywincy]

Medyo OT: about asking for money.

Napaisip tuloy ako about my own wedding.

We didn't ask for money directly. Sabi lang namin sa invitation, kung magbibigay sila, we prefer money as a gift. In poetic approach pa nga para nice naman yun pagkasabi.

Sis on the invite i don't think it's something you should feel bad about. it's not just here in PH namana na ginagawa yun. Plus it makes it more convenient sa guests mo if they could just give cash as wedding gift. Plus of course depends in how you said it sa invitation. i think this is different sa "gimmics" of the tradition-related money making naman.

[Chili1113]

Again it boils down to the family and breeding of the couple involved. Even if a person comes from a province or town that practices those traditions, they will never practice it if they find it embarrassing.

Sorry ha, pero even yung mga minimum wage earners sa office namin, wala pa ako nakita na wedding na ganyan ka grabe humingi ng pera. Kahit sa province pa wedding nila! kahit minsan parents nila di nakatapos ng college and sobrang simple family, hindi ganyan ang mga kasalan nila! Bakit? Because ayaw nila, and may hiya silang tao, and may good manners sila kahit simpleng pamilya lamang.

Now, being a guest it is also proper to bring a gift to show appreciation to your host. Again, it boils down to manners and upbringing. Meron dyan, dala dala buong pamilya ning di man lang magbibigay kahit any small token gift. It doesn't need to be expensive, but bringing a gift is also a part of proper etiquette. 

The host should always respect their guests by not implying that they prefer money even in a subtle way. At the same time, guests should also respect the host by giving a gift that is within their budget even if it is just a small gift.

[Shadow Angel]

Daming post about kasal sa Batangas pero honestly 1 time lang ako nakakita ng ganyan about padamihan ng pera nun bata pa ako. Now naman malaki na ako wala ako na attend na ganyan kasalan na money involve taga Batangas ako. Kasal lang ng mga relatives/friends ko ang pinupuntahan ko. pero grabe if harass or pahiya sa guest if hindi magbigay. Agree ako as a guest dapat may dala rin gift as a courtesy sa nag invite.

[yn061515]

For a Batanguenia like me, hindi off sa akin yung traditions... I kinda look forward pa nga to attending weddings na may mga ganito padin to be honest. It's fun kaya. Masaya sya, for us na nakasanayan ang mga ganitong tradisyon. For sure sa mga hindi taga Batangas at hindi sanay sa mga ganitong kagawian, you may find it off nga at nakakahiya and super nakakatawa and that's okay, but don't think too low naman of weddings in Batangas. It's not all about money you know. Alot of people mentioned here na sobrang nakakatawa, nakakahiya and that they won't attend again but not one mentioned how grand and joyful the celebrations are. Unlike weddings in the city na isang araw lang or few hours lang, celebrations in Batangas usually takes days... like 3 days before simula na yan. Patay baboy, baka, kambing, and manok most of the time. "Bayanihan" pa nga yan minsan kasi the neighbors would volunteer to cook pa, and patay baboy pa tapos would still give gifts pa din sa couple.  It's a real celebration and the couples who choose to have the money dance and the other activities that asks for money is not robbing their guests, it's not like that. Hindi naman mukhang pera mga taga Batangas. We do those things kasi it's part of our wedding tradition. These traditions are the ones we usually treasure, and not how grand the venue is or how beautiful the styling or how popular the host and the musicians are.  Those "money making schemes" as you call them are accepted and still being practiced by most if not all kasi they've been practiced naman na for ages. Something that's new to you or something that you're not accustomed to that you may find odd, weird and cheap can mean a whole lot different for others. What can be of poor taste for you can be the best the Batanguenio couple can offer. What's funny and kadiri for most of you here is special and memorable for the Batanguenio couples who invited you guys on their weddings and never thought they would be laughed at after.

Besides, when we go to Manila and attend weddings, we don't complain naman with how strict the dress code is, or how we are obliged to buy gifts from the registry, or when we are not allowed to take pictures during the ceremony kasi unplugged, we choose to respect the couples wishes and how they want their wedding to be.

I hope I was able to send my message across even though I don't speak straight english.
Thank you.

[twelvth_goddess]

^There are many wedding traditions that involve money that are acceptable to many such as the money dance. But there are traditions and there are tacky practices such as bidding for money and announcing the amount given. Sure, the festivities make it fun and joyful but it's a Filipino trait to save face too. Meaning, kahit napahiya, hinde ipapakita for the sake of pakikisama. The ladies who posted here, including me, experienced these kinds of weddings. Walang masama sa traditions and pagsasaya, usually mas masaya talaga weddings sa province, but the point is how most of the time the guests are also taken advantage of. Bibili sila ng damit na maganda, magaayos/magpapaayos, bibili ng gift, they spend money on these things alone. Nothing wrong naman if the guests have more to give, but what about others who don't but feel obliged because they were pressured?

I respect your opinion and traditions. You should also respect others' perspectives especially those who have experienced first hand.

[Shadow Angel]

I don't know How to say it na hindi ako makakaoffend ng ibang sisses ng gt. Before pa ako makapunta or magstay dito sa bansa ng husband ko madami na ako questions about tradition ng pinoy generally I mean hindi lang wedding. Sure we want to keep our tradition but the thing is naayon pa ba sa society at sa panahon natin ngayon. Bawat centavo pinag hihirapan na ngayon hindi katulad dati marami pang free na gulay at prutas basta masipag ka lang magtanim. Daming tradition na alam mo hindi naman dapat kaya karamihan sa atin walang ipon dahil every year may pinaghahandaan dahil sa mga tradition like birthday party, fiesta, etc. Minimum gastos dito 10k. Kadalasan pa utang. Katulad din ng kasal na ganyan tradition kasi gusto makabawi dahil kadalasan may utang kapag ganyan parang handaan sa buong baranggay. Pwede naman kasi ikeep ang tradition na nakakabuti pero un alam mo hindi na ok lalo na pwerhisyo sa iba di ako agree dapat pang sunduin. Taga Batangas ako pero hindi ko ginawa ang ganyan tradisyon. 

[marywater]

Hi Girls! It's an eye-opener to hear each of your opinions.

Para sakin this thread aims for everyone to learn from the experience of others, para later on, we know what to take note of or share to future brides so a lot of people could enjoy the occasion.

I think the key takeaway here is to just accept na may kanya-kanyang perspective tayong lahat.

If traditions and any other wedding ideas will make majority of the people happy ('cause for sure you can't please everyone), sige go lang. I mean you're inviting people to a wedding to celebrate with you, right? Bakit pa mag-iinvite ng guests if the couple are the only ones who will enjoy that day.

On the other hand, it's also pointless to take in a tradition kung nag-eenjoy lahat pero di masaya yung couple. Di ba?  If the couple will not be happy about following traditions, eh di wag sundan.

Basta ba at the end of the day, walang magkasakitan at umuwi karamihan ng mga guests feeling happy that they celebrated the event with the couple, yun naman importante.

[yn061515]

Gets 'ko naman na not everybody accepts these kind of traditions nga, point ko lang is there are reasons why some couples continue to practice them. Oo, iba na talaga ang panahon ngayon and in some areas, mas mabagal mag-evolve ang mga tao kaya talagang hanggang ngayon e ginagawa pa din mga nakasanayan na. I have no intention to fight or start a fight, ang ganang sa akin lang is wag naman paka babaan at pagtawanan ang mga kasalan sa Batangas. Hindi mukhang pera mga tao sa Batangas. Likas lang talagang masayahin at mapag-celebrate and kung sa palagay ng iba nagtetake advantage sila, well that was never the intention for sure. I cannot speak naman for all but believe me na kahit mukhang sapilitan ang sabog, at ang pagbibigay ng pera, that is really not the case. You still have the freedom to say no, sapat na madalas ang presence even though you don't feel like it.

[lovemeagain30]

samin din sa Samar we have festive weddings like the ones in Batangas. Ganun din kami we are so accustomed to money dance and those stuffs! meron nga kami ganun sa kasal namin. ansaya kaya! haha yeah im cheap.  however all the guests had fun (sa pagkakaalam ko ah). kung may nagreklamo man sakanila-- carebears! hihi   

[hisana]

I think a lot of the newer-generation batanguenyos and batanguenyas don't follow those traditions anymore anyway. My bf is from batangas, so madalas na rin ako naka-attend ng kung ano-anong events ng younger family members and friends nya who still live in batangas and those who have moved elsewhere, but I still haven't really witnessed a wedding amongst them na may announcement pa ng magkano ang binigay, yung may nagbebenta ng kakanin, etc., pero si bf oo daw when he was younger. Natatawa daw sya at the idea.

I agree with sis Shadow Angel about the huge gastos during every occasion. In fact, with my bf's family, dati nga bumibisita lang kami from manila, nagagalit si papa nya at bakit hindi sinabi in advance para nakapag katay sana ng kambing!!! Eh lomi nga lang pwede na sa akin. Ayun, pinaghahanda kami ng parang mini party. It was always like that. Even the funerals had that fiesta vibe.

[khaleesiCersei]

The money dance for me is one of the things i would like to have on my wedding hehe. As a child i had always been fascinated watching people pin money on the bride and groom kaya i promised myself na pag kinasal ako gusto ko may ganyan din haha! Does not really matter kung magkano ilagay ng guests, kahit pa bente pesos yan. I think maganda naman yung mga tradition na ganyan kasi hindi na ito gaano nakikita sa mga wedding ngayon, westernized na kalimitan ang dating.

Siguro kasi kaya na ooff yung iba eh yung parang kinukutya sila ng host or emcee pag maliit ang bigay pero nung bata ako wala naman ako naalala na may ganon. Kaya siguro sa wedding ko  bago magsimula ang money dance, may disclaimer na ako na wag matakot haha hindi ito pabonggahan ng bigay, ok lang kung 20 pesos, it's the tradition that counts hehe

[LilaFowler]

My parents went to a wedding recently, sabi ng mom ko may mga guests daw na walang table allocated kahit na nag-RSVP sila. Nag walk-out yung guests.

[Shadow Angel]

^nakakasad pag ganyan. Nangyayari ang ganyan kapag un mga invited na guest nabibit ng ibang quest na hindi naman kasama sa listahan or wala man lang info na may ibang kasama. Kaya never ako umaattend ng wedding na hindi talaga invited.