Burned out wife

[duhyan]

Feeling this lately.

Puyat plus pagod sa pagaalaga ng 3 month old na baby dagdagan pa ng pressure sa business.

Madalas feeling ko empleyado nalang ako ni hubby. Pag may mali sa shop, sakin ang sisi.
Naiiyak nalang ako madalas at lately, hindi ko na nafifeel ang love.

But when I cry at nagsisisi na sana hindi ako nagpakasal, tumitingin sakin si Baby. Kaya siguro ako nagpapalakas ng loob ngayon eh para sa baby namin.

[blushberry]

More than anything, I think you have to start with your mindset talaga. There are a lot of things to be grateful for, and sabi mo nga TS, your worries are not as huge as they seem.

Here I go again feeling a little sad as usual   In fairness to my parents, they were helping out when needed but there are a lot of things that I don't know how to handle anymore.  The business is just to hard to handle at this time, is it just us or business is not as good as usual?

[littlekinselle]

Naka relate ako dito,.. Sa dami na nangyari in the past 3 months.. Gusto ko bumalik ulit sa January.. What IF.... Di na lang ako nagpakasal muna 8years kami BF/GF ng asawa ko.. Pero bakit di ko ma feel na mahal niya ako! O na appreciate man lang ba mga ginagawa ko.. Housewife lang ako pero parang ang bigat ng pakiramdam ko gusto ko ma sumuko.  Ang taas ng ego niya di siya tipo nakikinig sakin pag gusto ko siya kausapin. Nag babago talaga ang tao kada taon hano?? 
Buti pa asawa ko magaling makitungo sa ibang tao pero bakit saken parang hindi?..


Dumagdag pa yung MIL ko. Nakita ko na tunay na ugali kaya nakikisama lang saken is dahil sa anak niya at sa Apo niya. (Fake) after all na ginawa ko sakanila nakisama ako pero ano may nasasabi pa di maganda pag nakatalikod na.. Ang iniisist pa ng asawa ko na bahay din namin ang bahay ng nanay niya.. Ayoko tumira dun ng kasama nanay niya sa totoo lang  kumbaga mahirap sa isang palasyo kung  dalawa ang reyna..   Haaayy buhay
 

Naiisip ko minsam gusto ko lumayo kasama ang baby ko..

[blushberry]

^ What do you mean?  Was it your choice to stay at home?  Do you have help or ikaw lang talaga?

I feel a little guilty after reading my initial post.  I don't know if it's just the hormonal changes or the pressure at work.  I forgot na nga na almost anniversary na naman pala namin.  He remembered and he is making an effort by booking an overnight stay in a hotel. 
We are thinking pa if we should extend another night, who will take care of the kids. 

I'm just really in a lot of pressure with competition, and the weather.  Ewan ko ba.

[britzm]

i think when you're married, the definition of me-time is quality time with hubby. no kids, no usap sa work, as in date kayo. una natin maiisip hindi practical because of the time but if you give it one shot, then both of you try your hardest not to bring up negative topic, i think you will refresh afterwards. then set a date kelan niyo ulit gagawin. para kahit toxic ang days in between, you're looking forward sa date niyo
quality time with hubby pwedeng punta kayo resort, window shopping, walk in park, watching movie together.

[blushberry]

^ It could also be "me-time" with friends para maiba naman ang flow ng conversation para din alam natin how lucky we are and how others are doing.  We stayed for 2 nights in one of the new hotels by the bay and I somehow felt a little bit more relax than before.  Pero kulang pa din, nakakapagod din talaga these days.  So many things dapat gawin... New things to experience... New places to visit... Education for the kids... Insurance... Bigger house... New cars

[arkimommy]

I don't know if this is still the right thread for me to vent out. I'm just really really exhausted right now.

3 months ago, I decided to live a life without my husband for 18 years. I moved out of our house when I was still pregnant and now my baby's 3 months old already. For the past 18 years, my ex-husband was a really great provider and siguro nga na-spoiled niya ako because I was a housewife back then. Right now, sobrang pagod na ako being a single mom. Tired is an understament for me. I have a 8AM-5PM job 7 days a week. I have a 3 month-old daughter na exclusively breastfed. No maids or yaya, I do all the chores at home, housewife ako before but I had helpers, ngayon as in ako lang talaga. Out of budget if kumuha ako ng helper at home because I provide for my sick mom and I help my siblings too. I'm paying all the bills - condo, electricity, water, internet, needs of my daughter, groceries name it all. Wala man lang support from anyone in my family (even my own mom) dahil ginusto ko naman daw to. Siguro nga eto yung gusto ko but I never expected na ganito pala ka-hirap. My ex-husband wants me back but he doesn't want my kid (na anak niya din naman 😡), gusto niya lang ipa-alaga sa iba and mag-support lang kami financially sa bata, I know I will never leave my daughter kahit hirap na hirap na ako.

In a few days, I'm migrating abroad kaya mas matindi yung pressure. I'm still adjusting from my failed marriage and lavish life. Hindi ko na alam kung paano maging masaya sa buhay ko ngayon. (Sorry napahaba yung kwento)

[forumera]

^sorry kung OT, curious lang napa DNA mo na ba si baby? nakita na ba ni husband mo result? if no, baka yun lang yung sagot sa paghihirap mo

[Girltalker2]

^^ who looks after your baby when you're at work?

On migrating, same question.

When I experience challenging times, I just look back on the hardships I faced during marriage. then I always come to a conclusion, I'm still in a much better position now. So just looking back on the life I had before, just keeps me going na never ever talaga ako babalik sa ganung situation.

[arkimommy]

forumera Yes napa-DNA ko yung daughter ko and it turned out na match sila ni hubby. I sent him results but deadma.

Girltalkter2 I leave my daughter with my mom, she's sick but still can function very well naman. Sometimes niece ko nagbabantay. When we migrate, kasama din mom ko.

There are times na nasasabi ko na at least I'm not in the situation I was 3 months ago, but of course mahirap pa din talaga. Kahit anong gawin ko it still hurts. But I have no other choice but to be strong.

[blushberry]

^ what's his issue with the baby?  he doesn't like to have any children period?

ako din pagod na pagod, mula noon hanggang ngayon, i have to be the one thinking about our future.  ang hirap pa naman sa panahon ngayon.

[arkimommy]

^ No, we have an 18-year old daughter. Issue niya hindi daw sa kanya yung second daughter namin, when I sent him the DNA results, deadma nalang.

[blushberry]

^ did he say why he doesn't want another daughter?

hay... i'm sooooo tired, i can't think straight and i'm becoming reactive again. and you know how employees are.  if there is a restart button, i wouldn't want to be in this situation.

[swtgrl_bee]

Madami akong ganitong moments lalo na dati. Nakaka guilty kasi na mag spend ako ng time sa sarili which is so wrong.  Buti nalang supportive si Husband kung aalis ako at magpa massage man lang. Ngayon hindi na ako naguguilty kung nag spend ako ng oras sa sarili ko. Siguro ang mali lang karamihan ng wives/moms nagiiba talaga kasi priorities natin lalo na kapag kasal na or Mommy na. Ako from being super kikay talagang alam mo na may bahay na talaga dating ko.  Pero I've learned my lesson na talaga.

Cheers to all.

[khriseeee]

Honestly I've been tired since I had my first child 4 years ago! Hubby travels really far for work each day so all the errands fall onto me, including taking my kids to the doctor, attending to all school-related functions and requirements and working a full time job. I am tired every single day. Are there days when I think about what life would be if I were single now? Oh yes! All the time, I could buy all the things I wanted and travel several times a year.

But I always knew getting married and having kids is hard work,I was always reminded of that by my mom. Love is not a feeling but a decision, it's a commitment.

Whenever I start feeling gloomy, when I feel like a shadow of my former self I step back and really schedule time for myself to rejuvenate. It could be watching a movie on my own, shopping for a few hours, getting a massage, etc. Heck I've even spent a whole day to myself just to keep my sanity. After a few hours I find myself missing my family and look forward to going home. It's then I think to myself that it's all worth it.

[simang]

^ It could also be "me-time" with friends para maiba naman ang flow ng conversation para din alam natin how lucky we are and how others are doing.  We stayed for 2 nights in one of the new hotels by the bay and I somehow felt a little bit more relax than before.  Pero kulang pa din, nakakapagod din talaga these days.  So many things dapat gawin... New things to experience... New places to visit... Education for the kids... Insurance... Bigger house... New cars

I guess that's the thing, you're burned out because you want to have everything. Siguro talagang may kelangan isacrifice. For you, dahil pinili mo ang ganyang lifestyle, then mukhang kelangan tanggapin na kasama na dyan ang pagod.

[foxylady_89]

Nako..theres gonna be more to life pala ang peg...kala ko ako lang ang pagod...

Kala ko ako lang ang kawawa.. mas kawawa pa pala kayo

Hayst... kapagod lang

[showermist]

I was feeling this even before we had our baby.
What I did was I 'trained' my husband without him knowing it. I got the idea from the book The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. Is there an improvement? Oh, big time! But it took months, more than a year of reconditioning. I just admitted this to him right after my friends wedding. Now he wants me to 'recondition' his weight gain plan. He doesn't know I've already started. Haha

TS, my point? I chose, marry my husband because I love him. Being burned out is part of this married life. He has pagkukulang, and so am I. I could whine and be negative about it or do something about it. I chose the latter and it worked!

Hope you find a solution to yours and enjoy the journey 😊

[three8one]

TS, my point? I chose, marry my husband because I love him. Being burned out is part of this married life. He has pagkukulang, and so am I. I could whine and be negative about it or do something about it. I chose the latter and it worked!

sa lahat ng nabasa kong magagandang comment,ito ang the best para sa akin!

 

[super bratinella]

Lahat ng tao nakaka experience ng pagiging burn out not just because of being a wife, mother or employee but because of the situation, lalo na tayong mga babae prone dito kasi sa hormonal imbalance.

I can feel this too at times, then sabi ko kay hubby at sa mga anak ko, na sa birthday ko mag book ako ng resort or hotel room para treat ko sa sarili ko at makagpag relax, then their reaction : Yehey!!! sama kami!!.  So mas exicted pa sila sa akin, natawa na lang talaga ako at nawala na rin stress ko kasi priceless ang reaction nila..