Got questions regarding men? Post it here! (Thread 8)

[dismembered]

^ magiiba ang tingin ko if he's not even trying, and admittedly i'll be wondering WHY he's not improving despite giving his hardest. Siyempre it says something din about him. Feeling ko lahat naman would want someone who can catch up with their pacing. Kahit sa paglalakad sa mall di ba. Sure it's infinitely more fun to walk leisurely with someone holding your hand but if the time would come na you need to "hurry", nakakapagpabagal yung mabagal maglakad na kahawak kamay mo.

Yes. That's the ideal scenario, kung mag catch up sya with you. Pero what if hindi naman kasi status nyo dati ganyan and happy naman kayo dati na ganyan, if tanggap na nyang ganito lang ganun lang sya talaga, would you blame him? Wala lang. Ang alam ko kasi, when you go into a commitment with someone, you accept the person as is kung ano sya dapat "currently", not kung ano ang magiging sya in the "future". Kapag ang babae na pumili ng mapapangasawa nya na "sira ulo" kahit boyfriend pa lang, thinking in mind na magbabago naman in the future, di ba fault ni girl yun? So kung si lalake ang status nya is average lang at happy naman sila, pero in the future tumaas status ni girl, at hindi naman inattempt ni lalake sumakay sa "status"na yun, kasalanan naman ba ni guy yun?

*Sometimes i wonder (in life in general, not sa relationship perse) which is worse, failing despite doing your very best or failing without doing anything at all.

Actually, parehas lang sila. You try, you don't try, same result lang. Sabi ni master oogway, let go of the illusion of control.

So I Guess it is not because tumaas ang value mo, mag iiba tingin mo sa partner mo. Nag iba lang ang gusto mo (puede tumaas din standards mo for yourself?) kaya puede mawalan ka ng gana sa partner mo.

^Yan yung ikinalulungkot ko kapag nagsukat sukat ng "value". Kaya kung pwede, wala na lang value appraisal na mangyari? Mahirap kasi at gumugulo talaga kapag nagsimula na "magbilangan" sa relationship.

[shinies]

Conceited ang tawag sa babaeng ganyan.

Ok lang naman yung maging proud ka sa sarili mo pero imbis na ibaba mo yung nagmamahal sayo, di ba dapat magcelebrate kayo para mashare ang milestone? Tapos encourage mo yung partner mo para macelebrate din milestone niya?

Ligawan stage pa lang ba yan o sila na? Baka ayaw lang talaga ni babae dun sa lalaki

[mysterioza_me]

Nag iba lang ang gusto mo (puede tumaas din standards mo for yourself?) kaya puede mawalan ka ng gana sa partner mo.

Somehow this is true. Kaya ako I believe in reinventing yourself, enhancing your knowledge for self-improvement para makaagapay sa partner mo. Habang tumataas kasi ang position (sa work) or dumadami ang achievements ni partner nag-iiba ang crowd and ka-rubbing elbows niya. So sometimes they need a partner na kayang sabayan ang pagbabago ng lifestyle nila and mapapantayan sila (or atleast close enough) and maybe kasama na dun na yung pwede nila ipagmalaki ang partner nila kasi achiever din, hindi "nakakahiyang" isama sa social gatherings. Ego booster kasi kapag nakaka-receive ka ng compliments because of your partner. Sa culture kasi ng pinoy (not sure with other lahi) they tend to mock the other person if he/she cannot equate kung anong meron yung partner niya. Tipong "bakit di ka humanap ng iba? Sa ganda/gwapo at talino mo na yan may makikita ka pa na higit?"

 But I'm not saying na lahat ganito ha, kasi madami pa din naman girls/guys na nagstick sa partner nila kahit di kasing-successful nila.

[Girltalker2]

Yes. That's the ideal scenario, kung mag catch up sya with you. Pero what if hindi naman kasi status nyo dati ganyan and happy naman kayo dati na ganyan, if tanggap na nyang ganito lang ganun lang sya talaga, would you blame him? Wala lang. Ang alam ko kasi, when you go into a commitment with someone, you accept the person as is kung ano sya dapat "currently", not kung ano ang magiging sya in the "future". Kapag ang babae na pumili ng mapapangasawa nya na "sira ulo" kahit boyfriend pa lang, thinking in mind na magbabago naman in the future, di ba fault ni girl yun?

People change. Situations change. Change is a constant reality in life. Fault din ng guy if he thinks pinakasalan nya ang gf nya thinking na she won't change. But in reality, she will give birth, take care of the kids, etc. So puede syang lumobo. Will he still accept her? Of course he has to. pinakasalan nya eh. Point ko change happens everywhere, and it is something that we need to accept to adapt and live life to the fullest.

So kung si lalake ang status nya is average lang at happy naman sila, pero in the future tumaas status ni girl, at hindi naman inattempt ni lalake sumakay sa "status"na yun, kasalanan naman ba ni guy yun?

Life is never a fairy tale. This is just how movies depict love stories, which is so untrue.

Somehow if love talaga ni guy si girl, he would attempt makipagsabayan sa girl di ba? For him to feel he is worthy of her. Otherwise alangan naman ipilit mo ang relationship at bilang lalaki, you want everything 'as is', di ka ba manliliit nyan or Ma insecure?
or alangan naman sabihan mo si girl not to follow her dreams - napaka selfish naman ni guy.

^Yan yung ikinalulungkot ko kapag nagsukat sukat ng "value". Kaya kung pwede, wala na lang value appraisal na mangyari? Mahirap kasi at gumugulo talaga kapag nagsimula na "magbilangan" sa relationship.

Again, life is never a fairy tale.

Di naman sa need magbilang ng value, couples just live through their lives normally but once in a while, may reality check. Masaya pa ba si girl? Si guy? Sometimes dreams/aspirations change. And it is inevitable. Di mo puede ipilit sa isang Tao ayawan ang success or gustuhin ang gusto mo.

[kwang sun]

Para sa mga lalaki dito sa thread na ito, why do you stare so much kunyari sa bar, but you do not approach? Or hingi ng number but you just stare? Napaoangitan ba pag ganun? Hahhaah

[candacena]

^naalala ko tuloy kahapon, I was smiling kasi may nangyaring kakaiba sa mall, (may nadapa) then as I was smiling may nakasalubong akong guy, nakatingin ako sa kanya then umiwas ako ng tingin at tumingin ulit ng nakangiti haha, nung nakalampas na, tumingin ako sa side ng konti, nakita ko head turn siya haha wala lang, I think he wouldve approach me pero ang bilis ko kasi maglakad at di ko nakita yung kasama niya kung girl(gf or asawa) ba or guy. Hes cute though

[jtansanco]

^^ We stare at you to see if your body language shows any "interests". If you see us staring at you, stare back with a smile. That's a good indication you're open to have a conversation. Well, to make it easier, if you catch us looking at you, lumapit ka nalang and then ask for our number... 

[dismembered]

People change. Situations change. Change is a constant reality in life. Fault din ng guy if he thinks pinakasalan nya ang gf nya thinking na she won't change. But in reality, she will give birth, take care of the kids, etc. So puede syang lumobo. Will he still accept her? Of course he has to. pinakasalan nya eh. Point ko change happens everywhere, and it is something that we need to accept to adapt and live life to the fullest.

I used that analogy, kasi kung girls "depreciate"in looks as they age, and many frown if men view it that way, unfair din naman if girls would expect something "greater"din sa lalake lalo na if si girl eh tumaas ang "value". Why can't it be a package sa simula pa lang? Pag tinanggap mo sya sa umpisa pa lang, either mag appreciate or hindi man sya maka catch up in terms of "value" in the future sa social status sa iyo, why blame him? Hindi ba kailangan si girl din ang magkaroon ng introspection na baka tumaas lang ang standards nya?

Again, life is never a fairy tale.

Di naman sa need magbilang ng value, couples just live through their lives normally but once in a while, may reality check. Masaya pa ba si girl? Si guy? Sometimes dreams/aspirations change. And it is inevitable. Di mo puede ipilit sa isang Tao ayawan ang success or gustuhin ang gusto mo.

Life is never a fairy tale. Pero bakit kailangan bigyan din ng standards? Kailangan society at status ang mag dictate kung ano ang buhay? Centuries ago, I think this is not the case, pero ngayon bakit ganito na? So yung dating masaya, dahil sa nagtaas ang "status/value" makakaaaffect pala ng level ng happiness. Mankind never fails to amuse me.

[minatay91]

Uso pa ba sa mga lalake yung prim and proper/elegant/classy ang dating?

Kase feel ko yung mga hilig ng mga lalake ngayon is yung super friendly, yung mga nag.approach, loud na "like the boys", cowboy kind of girls...

[dismembered]

^By looks, usong uso pa. Nauuso pa naman ang dapper culture ngayon. Pero wag ka, "looks" lang naman yun. Yung totoong way of gentleman, I think medyo nawawala na talaga.

[minatay91]

^ hmm I think you're referring to the men right? I got confused lol
I meant, do men still prefer the classy, prim and proper women, over the cowboy, madaldal type. hihi

[dismembered]

^Ay oo medyo misunderstood ko nga yung 1st queston mo.

I think it depends sa lalake naman. Yes uso pa rin naman si prim and proper same way na yung ibang girl gusto rin na prim and proper ang guys.

[simang]

Uso pa ba sa mga lalake yung prim and proper/elegant/classy ang dating?

Kase feel ko yung mga hilig ng mga lalake ngayon is yung super friendly, yung mga nag.approach, loud na "like the boys", cowboy kind of girls...

I asked my husband, sabi nya men prefer those who are flexible daw, can be classy and proper, can be cowboy, whatever the occasion calls for.

[candacena]

^well may itsura naman siya kaya ok lang. though parang babae talaga yung kasama niya so no chance hahaha

^^ We stare at you to see if your body language shows any "interests". If you see us staring at you, stare back with a smile. That's a good indication you're open to have a conversation. Well, to make it easier, if you catch us looking at you, lumapit ka nalang and then ask for our number... 

nye!.. nakakahiya! hahaha, pano sasabihin ko?

[kwang sun]

^^ We stare at you to see if your body language shows any "interests". If you see us staring at you, stare back with a smile. That's a good indication you're open to have a conversation. Well, to make it easier, if you catch us looking at you, lumapit ka nalang and then ask for our number... 

Hindi ba parang malandi naman yun if girl una mag make ng move? Paminsan iniisip ko something is wrong with me lol, lalo na sa bar puro titig lang pero walang humihingi ng number hahaha, di rin ako yung tipong to make the first move lol

[jtansanco]

^ A stare and a smile can help the guy make the first move. Give him signals you're open to getting to know him and don't be afraid to make the first move as well. Malay mo, he's the one but torpe lang talaga. Will you regret getting a guy to ask your number and get to know each other OR not getting any interaction at all? Mga what ifs moment nanaman. Haha. Go for it!

[kwang sun]

^ kasi what if nag smile ako tapos yung nasa likuran ko pala yung binigyan nya ng smile hahahah oh well.... was just wondering.. nowadays I feel old to be going to bars na hahah kung pupunta man kontingg chill lang then uwi na , most of my batch mates are already married and have kids hahaah ...di na uso patweetums hhahaha

[jtansanco]

^ Lol don't overthink it! And are bars the only place you want to meet people? Go to meetup.com and see if there are groups that interests you. Give online dating a shot as well. Pwede ka rin magpost ng Wented BF ad dito sa men's section... HAHAHA

[kwang sun]

^ example ko lang yung bars haaaa ... kungg makajudge to hahahhahah

[Girltalker2]

Hindi ba parang malandi naman yun if girl una mag make ng move? Paminsan iniisip ko something is wrong with me lol, lalo na sa bar puro titig lang pero walang humihingi ng number hahaha, di rin ako yung tipong to make the first move lol

Sis, agree. Siguro you have married friends na puede ka ipakilala or meet lang in gatherings.

Puro titig, as in you also look/stare back? Tsaka, how can they ask your number if they can't even say HI to you. For me, walang kwenta yun. Find a guy brave enough to approach you, of course with criteria and all. Kaya best to find someone na Friend din ng friends mo or kakilala para may background check na.

But good luck. It is not easy to find dates in bars, not to mention finding the right long term partner for you.