Author Topic: Ang Loser ko ba?  (Read 6557 times)

annd

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Ang Loser ko ba?
« on: November 10, 2015, 10:57:46 pm »
im single and 28 years old. i feel na sobrang loser ko when it comes to love and social life kasi... lahat na lang ng kabatch ko, engaged, married or may anak na. the reason why i check my social media accounts once in a while lang kasi nalulungkot ako everytime na nakakakita ng ganun. i do things by myself. kasi halos lahat ng friends ko, may asawa at anak na. so may sarili na silang buhay. ako naman, ang buhay ko, work, bahay, pag weekends naman, spend ng time sa family. as in no dating, walang katext na guy, or wala man lang nag aattempt na magtext. so feeling ko... ang loser ko lang diba. nanonood ako ng sine mag - isa. i shop and eat by myself, i travel with 1 or 2 friends lang. i consider 5 people a crowd.

one time, nagkaroon kami ng seminar and we had a group sharing. ang topic e "Para kanino ka bumabangon?" since yung nasa table is puro moms na, of course, ang sagot nila is family. ako din naman, family, but more of for myself. everyday, i pray to god na sana may dumating na right guy for me. ewan ko ba.. feeling ko malapit na ako magexpire. at nawawalan na ako ng pag-asa. :(

so yun.. feeling ko ang loser ko.

khaleesiCersei

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Re: Ang Loser ko ba?
« Reply #1 on: November 11, 2015, 01:31:31 am »
Hi sis, don't feel that way, madami dumadaan sa ganyang phase sa buhay at isa na ko dun hehe. Bata ka pa, you're only 28.. Sa panahon ngayon hindi naman na masyadong factor ang age kung kelan mag aasawa or magkakaanak. Nung single ako, halos ganyan din ang routine ko.. Naka survive naman ako hehe. Atleast now siguro mas may time ka gawin ang mga bagay na gusto mong gawin. Pana panahon lang naman yan eh. Dadating din yun time na hinihintay mo.

Pero Siguro if nabobore ka sa routine mo eh ang suggestion ko lang is try to be more open to meet other people, like when you travel, make friends with fellow travellers. Or when you're out partying with friends eh try to be more social. Masaya naman makipagkilala minsan hehe.

And If may spare time ka sis, try to engage in activities na you can meet new people, like yun uso ngayon pub crawl or food crawl, or fun run.. Pede din mag fitness class ka or cooking/language class etc.. Its a way kasi to meet new people, or guys and make new friends.

So Siguro yun lang sis try to shake your routine a little, be more open and expand your circle of friends para may mga iba kang grupo na pedeng samahan.. Tsaka It's also a way para you can meet guys, through friends of people na sinasamahan mo diba? Kumbaga naeexpand ang network mo hehe. Pero, if you're the adventurous type, you can try online dating or tinder, o kaya speed dating or blind dates hehe.. It could be fun, Hit or miss lang naman yan, atleast its also another way of making new friends.

TomHansen

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Re: Ang Loser ko ba?
« Reply #2 on: November 11, 2015, 01:33:15 am »
I can relate sis, im in my early 30's and a big part of me naiinggit sa mga ka-batchmates ko na may mga family na yung iba nga dami nang anak.. Ask yourself baka you're in that situation dahil may mas mahalaga pang bagay na inuna mo dati bago ang sarili mo like career and family? 28 is still young so wag mong isipin na mageexpire ka. Just because no ones texting you or dating you doesn't mean you're a loser sis, panapanahon lang yan sabi nga nila. Mr. Right will come at the RIGHT time and im sure he's as excited to finally meet you too.. Wag kang mapressure masyado sis baka maling lalake pa makilala mo.. Sa ngayon mas mabuti if palakihin mo ang circle of friends mo, be more friendly. Join forums tungkol sa mga hobbies mo..

I know it's sad to be alone(lalo na magpapasko) pero wala naman tayong magagawa diba, for now all you can do is to just suck it up and just be happy with the good things you have in your life..
Attraversiamo..

donya_dyosa

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Re: Ang Loser ko ba?
« Reply #3 on: November 11, 2015, 02:26:51 am »
Hugs sis....

Try mo tinder? Madami nako kilala nagtinder and found love,

junetwentythree

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Re: Ang Loser ko ba?
« Reply #4 on: November 11, 2015, 08:59:31 am »
As someone who is a decade older than you, unmarried and have no children (but have the cutest cats ever!) -- does this mean I'm SUPER loser, by your definition?

I don't believe marriage and children should define someone. It's not the means to an end. YOU should define yourself. And that's exactly what you're doing. Being able to be as independent as you are...let me tell you, not too many people have the balls to do the same!

I understand that it can be lonely at times, but then you're posting in the right forum. Just look around in the singles thread and you'll find meet ups of possibly people just like you. 

And for the record, I'm happy :) And I'm not justifying anything. I don't need to prove anything to anyone but myself :)
« Last Edit: November 11, 2015, 09:01:19 am by junetwentythree »

ishopnowfeelguiltylater

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Re: Ang Loser ko ba?
« Reply #5 on: November 11, 2015, 10:11:46 am »
^very well said sis. I was about to reply that getting married and having kids are not really for everyone. That just because everyone is doing it doesn't mean you have to do it too.

Even those who are married/have kids feel lonely sometimes. I would suggest trying to avoid social media kasi as a parent myself I don't post the negative things that come with having a kid! It's definitely not all roses!

Cheer up. Enjoy the nice things about being single. If you're up for it, try to meet new people.

simang

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Re: Ang Loser ko ba?
« Reply #6 on: November 11, 2015, 01:21:06 pm »
Sis annd, napansin ko lang while reading your previous posts from years back, na everytime you are single, you feel lonely. Na as if you only feel alive when you have a boyfriend. Sis, having someone should not be your ultimate goal in life. Find your fullest potential, know your passion. Work on yourself. If you believe you're a loser dahil sa setup ng buhay mo, then you will always feel like a loser. There's nothing wrong with eating alone, or shopping or traveling alone.

If you feel bored, then try doing something new. Something you haven't tried before. But don't confuse being bored with wanting to have a boyfriend.
...all adventurous women do.

awesomemaia

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Re: Ang Loser ko ba?
« Reply #7 on: November 16, 2015, 11:29:54 pm »
Cheer up TS! Kakagaling ko lang sa break up and last week was the longest week of my life na everyay nalang we tried to work it out pero nauwi pa din sa hiwalayan though cool off palang naman.. Pero i've been single for a long time din! Do not lose hope! Do not lose your confidence! Do not lose your composure! Just be beautiful
In the eyes of many! Beautiful inside out and there is defintely one guy who will chase after you! Be nicer to people! Ako nga hindi pa ko approachable pero meron nag dare and i became really happy! I felt loser for letting him go pero I trust and hold on to God not to the one I love kasi God is in control! Sakanya lang talaga dapat!

I suggest for you to attend events and gathering that involves life action! A simple get together with different people malay mo dun ka niya makita?! I love being in a group of people! To meet new friends and to share and to give out my pov, opinions and ideas! Try mo din salihan mo lahat ! Grab all the opportunity to somehow get out of your daily routine! 😊😊😊

Tagalog lang para di halata ;)

Purple_Power

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Re: Ang Loser ko ba?
« Reply #8 on: November 17, 2015, 01:19:40 am »
You know what I tell you, enjoy your life being single for now. You have longer time para makapag-ipon for future. Yet ang sabi nga ni Bo Sanchez, hindi marriage ang sagot sa happiness and again enjoy being single. Kasi baka mamaya kaka long mo for lovelife as what others here said baka sa wrong guy ka pa mapunta and you will regret it pa for life. Kung ako nga nasa lagay mo I would give more time for my career and sports pa. It is also fun for being single. Meron nga akong kilala na magandang chinita tapos alam ko nagkaboyfriend siya pero hindi rin siya nakasettle siguro. Then nung minsan nagjoke siya to me na he is waiting for the right one. Ako nga eh I never thought na as early as 23 magkakaboyfriend na ako in which I thought matatagalan pa. I remember pa nga nagjoin ako dito sa GT sa Singles thread eh! nakipag EB pa nga ako nun eh! 1 week after saka ako nakipag-aminan ng feelings dun sa friend ko then naging bf ko siya hanggang sa napangasawa ko na. But I tell you I am not ready for everything. And before that I always pray na sana dumating yung taong magmahal sa akin with description pa ng mga preferences ko. Hindi ko akalain na matutupad siya agad kasi ang naging objective ko is enjoy more being single.

Read the book about Confessions about Impatient Bride saka yung How To Find Your One True Love for you to enlighten more.

mindiegirl

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Re: Ang Loser ko ba?
« Reply #9 on: November 18, 2015, 02:12:55 pm »
annd, I've been single for 28 years. And I can attest that a relationship will not "complete" a person. I am currently in a relationship and I can honestly say that it is hard work. It should be an effort of 2 matured individuals to make it work. Sure its fun and you get to share your joys to another person. But keep in mind that you enter a relationship not just to get something but to give something as well. So enjoy your singlehood, mamimiss mo yan promise. Nung single ako, I feel lonely din naman and dumaan din ako sa ganyang phase. I always remind myself that I have to enjoy each day because hindi na maibabalik yun. I have to make it count. Mostly I spend it with my family, siblings and friends. So nung nag ka relationship ako, wala akong narinig na "wala ka ng time samin" or may nagselos sa attention ko. Cheer up, dadating din yan. ;)
Life is as kind as you let it be. - Charles Bukowski

awesomemaia

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Re: Ang Loser ko ba?
« Reply #10 on: November 18, 2015, 08:35:57 pm »
I agree to mindiegirl being in relationship is really a hardwork lalo na pag tapos na yung ligaw stage. Hahah!! For 25 years ive been alone and thats ok for me. I suggest that do not wait kasi dadating din talaga ee. Ako nga I already told God na ok na ko mag single and ilang days lang someone profess his love for me. Nakakamiss maging single kasi wala kang dapat initindihin magulang mo lang. Nakakamiss din talaga ng minsan ikaw lang. Kaya enjoy mo lang. Let us know pag nakita ka na niya ha! 😊😊
Tagalog lang para di halata ;)

mindiegirl

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Re: Ang Loser ko ba?
« Reply #11 on: November 18, 2015, 09:09:44 pm »
Nakakamiss maging single kasi wala kang dapat initindihin magulang mo lang.

Couldn't agree more dito sis!😁 not complaining though, observation lang. Hihi
Life is as kind as you let it be. - Charles Bukowski

dropdeadgorgeous

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Re: Ang Loser ko ba?
« Reply #12 on: November 18, 2015, 10:03:55 pm »
tama sila sis, hindi mo naman pwedeng iconclude na fulfilled mo na ang existence mo sa mundo kapag nag asawa ka na. look at some people, they live a happy independent single life. kanya kanyang perspective naman yan. kanya kanyang pananaw diba. never call yourself a loser. just make yourself happy. gawin mo lahat ng bagay na makakapagpasaya sayo, at magdedevelop sayo para mas mag improve ka pa whether physical/spiritual/ mental. love yourself and I believe prayers are big help. kayang kaya mo yan..tiwala lang :)
its hard to be me...

amethyst028

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Re: Ang Loser ko ba?
« Reply #13 on: November 18, 2015, 11:08:03 pm »
i agree with all the comments here. @TS you are not a loser at all. instead of feel bad for what you don't have focus on what you already have. being married is not going to make you happy. you are the only one responsible for your happiness. you have to come into the relationship complete and happy already.

i'm in my mid 30's also single and just like you all of my friends are either in a relationship or married with kids. at first ganyan din ako i feel bad lalo na pag may get together and they bring their hubby along and ako lang ang solo flight. somehow that pressured me to enter relationships so that i can feel i belong. but those relationships wouldn't last long kasi may kulang pa sakin. kasi hindi ko pa talaga kilala ang sarili ko, kasi may kailangan pa ako gawin para sa sarili ko. some journeys you just have to take alone.

maybe our replies are not the ones you want to hear. but i'm sure someday you will understand that this is just a phase that you have to go through to prepare you for better things ahead. your have to trust in the process. meanwhile while waiting for mr. right, why not do stuff you've always wanted to do, join a club, take cooking classes. learn something new. evolve. be single and fabulous.

p.s. hindi porket may partner happy. madami diyan miserable hindi lang makaalis kasi takot mag isa. remember: what you don't have, you don't need. Good luck sis!

deiz

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Re: Ang Loser ko ba?
« Reply #14 on: November 18, 2015, 11:44:52 pm »
hi TS! Break ka muna sa Facebook, ako may asawa ako ngayon ang trying to have a baby. I don't usually visit Facebook these days because may mga nakikita akong babies. I recently had a miscarriage kasi. May study nga ngayon na mas nadedepress ang mga taong palaging tumitingin ng facebook. Your time will come. Sa ngayon expand your social circle. Try to meet new people. Malay mo biglang may magbago.

annd

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Re: Ang Loser ko ba?
« Reply #15 on: December 06, 2015, 11:12:14 am »
Hello! Thank you naman sa mga nagreply and i feel better now. Kakagaling ko lang sa travel. Medyo narefresh naman ako but i think dumadaan talaga ako sa matinding depression.

I have an exbf kasi. I think nakwento ko na yun dito and we are in ldr relationship. Pero we decided to break up kasi feeling ko ldr is not for me. And nagsinungaling siya sa fixed marriage niya noon pero divorce na daw now. Last september, we are trying to fix our relationship kasi umuwi siya ng pinas. Pero hindi pa rin ako pumayag na maging kami kasi nga, i want myself to be ready. 100 percent ready. Hindi lang basta mahal ko yung tao, e magjump na ako ulit sa relationship. I have to think of myself din kasi iniisip ko na pagsumama ako sa kanya sa ibang bansa, wala ako career, wala ako family, friends and relatives. As in siya lang. Continuous pa rin yung communication namin then pagbalik ko from japan, a week ago, isang news ang bigla na lang bumulagta sa akin. He's getting married at fixed na daw lahat. Its because of his mom daw dahil siya ang vinolunteer sa fixed marriage. Nagdahilan daw siya na ako ang mahal niya pero sabi ng mama niya, diba nakipagbreak na siya sayo at single ka naman. May date na ang kasal and sa december 30. Tumawag siya sakin sa phone pero hindi ko talaga kaya yung mga sinasabi niya so binaba ko na kasi sumisikip yung dibdib ko sa sama ng Loob. Sabi niya gusto niya andun pa rin ako sa tabi niya kasi wala na daw siya mapagsabihan. Hindi niya kaya mahalin yung girl na ipapakasal sa kanya at gusto pa makipagkita sakin sa february para sa closure. Pero sinabi ko hindi, mali yun. At ayoko ng ganun. Kung ako yung babae, hindi ko Kaya. Sinabihan ko siya na sa feb uuwi ka, hindi ka man lang nakapaghintay? Hindi mo man lang ako nahintay. Wala nang 2 months. Tapos umiiyak siya sa phone. Ang sabi niya "nasa situation ako na wala ako magawa kasi pag hindi ako nagpakasal, buong family mapapahiya. Mahirap ang indian culture" tapos ngayon sinisisi niya ako kung bakit siya naging miserable. :( at feeling ko kasalanan ko kasi kung umoo lang ako noon, baka hindi ito mangyayari sa Kanya.

But looking on the brighter side, nung nakipagbreak ako sa kanya, nakahanap ako ng magandang work and in less than 2 years, i got promoted. Iniisip ko na lang ngayon na.. Hindi talaga siya siguro yung para sa akin. Pero naiisip ko pa rin na kung siya ang nakatuluyan ko, secured ang future ko kasi stable na siya. Pero naisip ko din na its not about being secured, ayoko na habang buhay e gagawin akong housewife, walang self fulfillment and kulang ang tiwala sa sarili. Naisip ko din na kaya ako nakipagbreak kasi i dont fully trust him dahil sa mga nangyari before and now that im ready tontrust again, ito naman ang nangyari.

I just feel so lonely right now but looking on the positive side, i can still find someone whos willing to love me at walang fixed marriage. Unlike him na oo, secure at madaming pera pero at the end of the day, hindi naman masaya kasi hindi niya mahal yung mapapangasawa niya.

#walatalagangforever

TomHansen

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Re: Ang Loser ko ba?
« Reply #16 on: December 06, 2015, 02:10:35 pm »
^ #mayforever hindi lang sa kanya. Loko rin siya ha ikaw pa sinisisi sa situation niya. Lonely ka lang pero hindi ka loser may darating din para sayo, ok lang mainip pero wag kang mawalan ng pag-asa.
Attraversiamo..

Purple_Power

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Re: Ang Loser ko ba?
« Reply #17 on: December 06, 2015, 03:44:33 pm »
annd Akala ko naman you were NBSB, yun pala at least naka experience ka na ng relationship. If I were you mag move on ka muna and enjoy being single. You need to reflect pa. No need to rush nandahil lang sa age. Huwag naman umabot sa point na magiging desperate ka na tapos mangyayari na naman yung hindi dapat mangyari. Always dream and pray na lang to have Mr. Right

mimiku

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Re: Ang Loser ko ba?
« Reply #18 on: December 26, 2015, 09:08:13 pm »
I got married by the age of 30 right about the time I gave up on love. 28? You're still young, there are still a lot of things you could do. I suggest go travel and explore. Don't rush because you are lonely. Natural lang ang maging insecure about not havig a family especially at your age but it's better to wait for the right guy than to rush into something and then regret it in the end. I tell you, there are a lot of married couples who got separated after barely being married for a year because they rushed into marriage. How tragic isn't it? So better enjoy your life as much as possible. I am sure the right one will come along.
Veritas nunquam perit.

annd

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Re: Ang Loser ko ba?
« Reply #19 on: December 27, 2015, 05:05:33 pm »
hindi ko na nga alam kung papaano pero ako, go with the flow na lang ako. i mean, mahirap naman talaga mag move on pero hindi naman siya kasing sakit nung una. ewan ko ba, parang hindi na ako natuto. pero ewan, bahala na. nagttratrabaho na lang ako ng mabuti at nagiging mabuting mamamayan na lang.

 


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